


Don't fall in love with me

by Feenaa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Break Up, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, False Accusations, Harry Styles Hates Louis Tomlinson, Hospitalization, Hurt Harry, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Men Crying, Minor Character Death, No cheating, Sad and Happy, Sick Character, Suicidal Thoughts, Surgery, Two Endings, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:55:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 107,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27293047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feenaa/pseuds/Feenaa
Summary: Louis had to fake his whole relationship with Harry, that looked easy. But he did not know he would fall in love with him.Editing in progress
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 232
Kudos: 143





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone I am back again. Hope you enjoy this  
> And of course Engliag isn't my first language.
> 
> Guys I am reading this again in 2021 and I am surprised, it is filled with mistakes.. for those who have read it thank you so much for bearing me, and those who will read I am sorry in advance I promise I will fix it soon

what do you mean you can’t come? “

Louis asked nervously, his friend Zayn was sitting in front of him in the café, looking ashamed and sorry. He shrugged and sighed “I tried.. I swear I did but I have to go back.. Gigi needs me”

Louis cursed under his breath, he couldn’t argue that, Gigi was Zayn’s heavy pregnant girlfriend, and if she needed Zayn then he couldn’t really object.

“but… I got you mate, I have the one for it”

Louis looked at him confused, but before he could say a word Zayn hastily continued “I trust him okay, he is a good looking one, charming character, and he is up for it”

“Zayn, what are you saying? “

“you want someone I got you someone “

Louis was getting angry “not anyone”

“ I trust him”

“no” he snapped “what are you talking about? And who is he I know all your friends “

“not him you don’t “

Louis crossed his hand “really! Who is he then? How did you meet?”

Zayn shrugged “ he is an old friend. I met him couple of days ago he is already gay and he owns me. I called him last night and he welcomed it”

“welcomed it? “ Louis raised a brow

“yes”

“faking a whole relationship? “

Again Zayn nodded “yes”

“what the hell? He is a complete stranger he will fuck everything up”“ Louis groaned

Zayn sighed “he won’t, its kind of like a job to him”

Louis opened his mouth to talk but he didn’t say a word, because what the hell

“don’t worry about it okay, i trust him and I know he won’t let me down”

Louis looked down, Zayn added “he will make it for money so don’t worry he won’t be doing any of us a favor”

“you just said he owes you”

“to do it, the wedding is in two days so if you said yes I will text hm and he will be here in no time”

Louis shook his head, because that was nuts “no, thank you. I asked you because we are friends, because you know me, he doesn’t know anything about me, I don’t even know him”

“that’s why you should make your decision like now. You will meet and discuss everything together “

Louis looked at Zayn and he rubbed his face “I don’t fucking believe you Zayn”

“do you have a better idea? You can’t not go to that wedding, unless you will tell your family the truth”

Louis groaned “I can’t tell them that”

Zayn rested his back knowing he convinced Louis “this is our only option”

Louis kept silent trying to calculate the whole situation in his head, he knew it was impossible to fake a whole six months relationship with a complete stranger, he was avoiding his family since ages, his family never met the mysterious boyfriend he kept talking about for the last six months. He shook his head again “no, no it will not work. Maybe I will tell them I broke up.. Yeah that would be better I would be hurt and wounded and they will not talk about anything “

Zayn sighed “yeah right, like they will not try to set you up with others when they finally know you are single again”

Louis groaned again “God Zayn, I can’t believe you are leaving me now”

“I am so sorry, I swear I tried but I am too scared lou, what if she gave birth to the baby and I wasn’t there, I will literally ruin it then”

Louis shook his head “no, no I can’t do this to Gigi, or to you”

Then he sighed “okay, i won’t go”

Zayn was looking at him 

Louis shrugged “I can’t go alone, I would be more comfortable if you were with me, but now you are not coming, I will fucking lose my mind.. So no I will not go”

Zayn shook his head “you will make me feel so guilty lou”

“don’t – “

“I know how much you miss them, honestly I know they will never mind if you are in a relationship or not, it is all in your head”

Louis snorted

“your mom loves you”

Louis closed his eyes “that’s why I should be not single”

“so go alone”

“I promised her I was taking my boyfriend with me, I can’t go without him that will break her heart, I promised her last time that”

Zayn sighed “ tell me how to help”

Louis shook his head “never mind.. I will find out something”

Then he stood up “I gotta go”

Zayn was watching him “give the lad a chance, just talk to him. You might find him interesting “

Louis was putting the money out of his wallet, he giggled “it doesn’t matter how I find him Zayn. It is not working. I think I will have to invent a new lie”

“Harry is charming, I swear you will love him he is an easy going lad and he is funny”

Louis took his jacket, he wasn’t even listening “yeah, I am sure he is. I gotta go”

Zayn sighed “I am waiting for Niall”

Louis tried to smile “ I will tell you how it is going”

He then left the whole place, it was raining heavily and it was too cold but he felt nothing, he walked to his car hating himself for creating that lie, he promised his mom she would finally meet the boyfriend, he hated that he would again lie to her about the whole situation. 

Once he started his car he phone went off, it was his mother, he smiled sadly and answered 

“I was going to call you” he said 

She giggled “please tell me you are having a good news? “

He frowned “are you okay? You don’t sound okay”

She sighed through the phone “I am just tired baby, but I am okay I promise. So tell me are you ready? Is your boyfriend who you are refusing to give me a name ready? “

He giggled “I give you his name and next thing you and my sisters stalk him in every social media available.. No I won’t fall for that”

She laughed “it doesn’t matter now, I will see him myself.. Finally “ her voice was too weak 

“mom, are you okay? “

She stayed silent for few seconds “you know how it’s going baby. But I am fine. So see you in two days? “

He really wanted to say no, he really wanted to apologize. It wasn’t an important wedding anyway; it was his cousin but his mom pleaded him to come. And he couldn’t say no to her, not now 

“yeah, sure”

“I can’t wait”

Then she sighed “I love you boobear, you know that”

Suddenly his eyes stung that he had to squeeze them “I love you more”

Then she ended the call. Louis put the phone down, he took a deep breath and he turned the car off, he wiped his tears before falling on his cheeks and he left the car. 

He stepped inside the café again and he headed directly to Zayn who was talking to Niall who Louis hadn’t seen him entering the place. 

Once they saw him, they stopped talking. 

Louis looked at Zayn “how much will it cost me? “

Zayn frowned “what? Oh, you mean… okay I can give him a call right now”

Louis sat beside Niall who was looking between them both, Louis lowered his voice “don’t even ask”

Niall nodded “okay”

Zayn was on the phone, he giggled before talking “yes, so are you up to it? “ then he looked at Louis “yes, he is right in front of me.. Okay he will be waiting.. I will send you the location.. Okay Harry don’t be late”

Once Zayn mentioned the name Louis could swear he felt Niall stiffing beside him. 

Zayn looked at Louis “he is going to your home now”

“my what? “

“you can’t talk here; the place is very crowded and you won’t be able to concentrate “

Louis frowned, Zayn continued “now, go… he is too close to your place don’t keep him waiting “

Louis stood up cause he had to, he looked at Niall who refused to meet his eyes and then he looked back at Zayn “I swear to God Zayn if he ruined it for me I will- “

“he won’t... Now go”

******  
Louis was in his place; he was questioning himself again. That was stupid, no that was crazy. How could he know a person in two days, how could he explain himself in two days, that was nuts. 

He took his phone again to call Zayn when the doorbell rang. 

Louis sighed; it was him.

Louis opened the door and first thing he saw was a man hugging himself and his face was covered by his hair. 

He was looking down trying to rub himself as he looked so cold. He was wearing a long brown coat, with a big brown boot. He raised his head and he smiled. Louis froze. 

Okay, he looked handsome although he was wet. But he looked lovely with happy eyes 

“I forgot my umbrella.. Sorry”

Louis didn’t talk, he was still staring at him, the man said keeping his smile “Louis Tomlinson? “

Louis finally found his voice “Harry… “

“Styles. Yes that would be me. Can I come in it’s freezing outside”

Louis opened the door wide “yeah, yeah, sure”

Harry entered and he took off his coat, he was wearing a large orange pullover. He looked at Louis with the coat in his hand, Louis took the coat and hanged it, he took a deep breath before facing Harry. Damn you Zayn.  
“I hope I wasn’t late”

Louis shook his head “no, you are okay”

Harry rubbed his hands together, obviously he was still cold

“would you like some tea? “

Harry smiled “that would be lovely” then he rubbed his hair and he started to tie it with his hairpin. Louis walked to the kitchen trying his best not to stare at Harry. 

He didn’t expect Harry to follow him “Zayn told me the occasion, it is in two days? “

Louis looked at him “my cousin’s wedding “

Harry nodded “good, and you need a date”

“a boyfriend “ Louis corrected him “not just a date, a six months boyfriend “

Harry nodded his head “that means a not of information I need from you”

Louis pressed the boiler “like what? “

Harry shrugged like it is a regular thing “anything cross your mind about yourself. What do you love, what do you hate, favorite colour, favorite movie. How many relationships you were in… things like that”

Louis was thinking, he nodded his head  
“can you write that down.. Like now? “

Louis looked at him shocked “now? “

Harry nodded “I want to memorize it”

Louis nodded, Harry said then “and I need you to write how do you want us. Do we live together? Who said I love you first, what are the things we love to do.. You know like lovers do”

Okay, that was nuts. How could he think of that, what did this man think he was going to do. 

Louis poured Harry the tea and he gave him his cup, Harry smiled and took it “do you like tea? “

Louis nodded his head “but I am a coffee person “

Harry nodded “coffee person noted that” he took a sip of the cup and he smiled “it is good”

Louis finally sighed “ you want me to write anything else? “

“of course. I want to know who is your boyfriend, everything you want about him. Every little detail. I need to prepare myself “

Louis nodded “okay, that’s a lot”

Harry shrugged “not really. Where is the wedding? “

“Doncaster “

Harry frowned “ and we go how?”

“it is a four hours ride”

Harry nodded, Louis asked “is that a problem? “

Harry shook his head “no”

“okay, what about you? Is there anything I need to know about you? “

Harry nodded and took a big sip “of course. I get paid first”

“what? “

Harry put the cup down “I guess Zayn told you about that? “

“he didn’t “

Harry sighed “I am paid by a day. You want me for a week right? “

Louis nodded but suddenly he felt disgusted, he felt Harry was selling himself. Was Harry a prostitute? But how did Zayn know him? He said he was an old friend, and Zayn would never do this, he would –

“2000”

Louis suddenly looked at him “what?! “

“2000, that what you will give me”

Louis frowned “what do you work? “ okay he said it in a judgmental way

Harry crossed his arms “okay, you need to know my four rules Mr Tomlinson”

Louis was getting angry “and what are those? “

Harry stared to count on his finger “never ask personal questions, no sex, I get paid first and don’t fall in love with me”

Louis couldn’t stop himself, he snorted “yeah right”

Harry kept looking at him “money first, I have to go my boyfriend is waiting for me”

“you have a boyfriend!”

“that’s a personal question “

Louis huffed “okay, okay.. Tomorrow I will transfer the money “

“cash.. Now”

“I don’t have that cash”

Harry shook his head “money first “

“I don’t have all of this now. Tomorrow you will have it”

Harry sighed “how much do you have now? “

“are you serious? “

Harry raised a brow, so Louis shook his head in disbelief, he took his wallet from the counter and he counted the money “all I have is 300”

Harry reached his hand, Louis hated the man already but he gave him the money, Harry smiled “I am gonna give you two hours. Write everything down, I am coming back”

He walked and took his coat and he left.


	2. Chapter 2

Louis was holding the two folders in his hand, he was feeling too silly, what was he thinking? How come he was this stupid. 

suddenly he laughed so hard and he again looked at the files. What was he doing? Why was he doing all this? Why it had to be so hard to be single? Why couldn’t he fall in love again? Why couldn’t he forget his old boyfriend? It had been more that four years so why?  
He sighed and he looked at the clock hanging on the wall, that Harry was late. Then he laughed again because Harry wouldn’t come back. Harry took the money and disappearedp. 

He took his phone and be tossed the files in the trash. He called the one and only 

“how it is Going tommo? “ Zayn asked through the phone 

Louis couldn’t contain himself “you mean with your old mate Harry?, oh yeah, he ran away”

“what do you mean? “ Zayn asked warily 

“it means he took the money and didn’t show up again”

“the money?! “

“Well not all of it, he took only 300, thanks God that was all I have home”

Zayn then giggled “he won’t run away Tommo”

Louis was getting angry because why the hell was Zayn defending him “it has been three hours and he still-“

“he will be there. I am sure”

Louis raised a brow “and why is that? It is getting late I am sure he is in bed with-“ the door was knocked and Louis shut up 

“what is it? “ Zayn asked through the phone 

Louis was walking to the door “I guess.. I guess he is here”

Zayn laughed “told you. Open the door” and then Zayn ended the call. 

Louis opened the door and Harry was in front of him, looking more exhausted than before, eyes too tired and he was barely holding himself. It had stopped raining but he was still so cold. 

“I am sorry” he was out of breath too, he clutched his chest “I am sorry I was late. I was running back to here and I guess I got lost or something “ he was trying to keep his smile. 

Louis couldn’t talk, he just let Harry in and took his jacket. Louis heard Harry trying to take a full breath, then Harry turned to him “so are the files ready?”

The files? The files that he just tossed them away. 

“yeah.. Yeah” then he looked at them through the corner of his eyes “”why don’t you have a seat?” he pointed at the living room. Harry slowly nodded and walked towards it.

Louis rushed to the trash and took them out, he checked them and smelled them, then he ran to the living room. Then he froze. 

Harry was sitting on the sofa collecting all the pictures in the room in front of him on the table

“so, you threw the files away? “ Harry asked then he looked at him with a smile. 

"I am not a burglar" Harry said and looked in front again 

That man was too much. Louis felt embarrassed but he tried to ignore 

“what are you doing? “

Harry looked back at the pictures “those are your family, right? “

Louis nodded, Harry looked back at him “we are together since six month, don’t you think I should at least know how do they look through the pictures“

Louis sighed and walked to him, he gave Harry the files, Harry looked at them and looked at every paper carefully. Louis was watching him and watching how focused he was, he wanted to laugh because that man believed himself, that man took this whatever job seriously. 

It took Harry fifteen minutes then he put the files at the table in front of him. He looked at the pictures, he took his mother and looked at Louis “this is Jay? “

Louis nodded, that was obvious, of course, what was he trying to do, impress him! 

Harry nodded, then he took Lottie “and this must be Lottie, and those are the twins, Daisy with the shorter hair"

Louis again nodded, again it was obvious. Harry then looked at him “Doris and Ernest? “

“I will show you later”

“now”

“I said later”

“and I said now. I need to put faces on the people I read about”

Louis snorted “are you telling me you just memorized everything? “

Harry crossed his arms “yes”

Louis gave a frustrated laugh “yeah right”

“ask me anything “

Louis laughed again and shook his head in disbelief 

“ask me anything, about you or your family, anything in the files"

Louis looked at him “are you serious? “

Harry nodded challenging 

“okay, what is Daisy’s favorite color? “

“baby blue, while Phoebe is green”

Okay that was easy, he wanted something harder

“who is Lottie’s last boyfriend “

Harry frowned “you mean who she is with now? “

Louis gave a lobed smile “I mean the one before”

Harry nodded “Jeff, and now is Mark. She had three boyfriends. Matt, Jeff and Mark but are you sure though? “

Louis raises a brow, Harry shrugged “she is twenty two and only with three boyfriend.. Are you close? “

“now what? “ Louis tried his best not to yell

Harry looked at Lottie’s picture again “she is very beautiful, you are not around, so either you don’t know which means you are not close, or she does take relationships seriously and wants to settle down"

“of course she does. Of course we are close “ Louis snapped. 

Harry looked at him and nodded, then he looked again at the pictures

Louis was furious now “okay, in what year I was graduated? “

“2012”

“and you? “

“2015”

“what do I work? “ okay what was top easy 

“in directing ads, and I am a photographer who works in fashion. Which reminds me. What do you want me do with my hair”

Louis was taken back, all the anger melted, he looked at Harry’s face again confused and then at his hair, those lovely curls he wanted to touch, brown long beautiful curls 

“ your hair? “

Harry nodded casually and rubbed his hair, was he trying to tease Louis 

“do you want me to keep it, cut it? “

“cut it?”

Harry nodded “ okay, I will”

“what? No.. Don’t.. I was asking, I mean you will cut it if I asked you? “

Harry nodded “it will grow back. I am your boyfriend, I am everything you want me. Charming with beautiful smile. Gentleman who likes children. Funny with good personality. Decent with a great voice, do you want me to sing for them? “

Louis was looking at him shocked 

“you wrote it down, decent with a great voice? I can sing if you want me”

Wow, he did it, he memorized it. And what the fuck. 

Harry stretched his body, he then squeezed his eyes with his fingers, he looked at Louis and Louis saw how exhausted he looked again. It was like he was two seconds from sleeping 

"now show me the younger twins"  
Louis sighed and unlocked his phone, he searched through his gallery trying not to look at Harry who was barely opening his eyes.  
Then he gave him the phone. Harry took it and once he saw the picture he smiled softly "I can't wait to meet them" 

Then he gave the phone back at Louis. 

“do you mind if I sleep here tonight? “

And that was not expected 

“what? “

Harry yawned “I am so tired and I live at the other side “

“and your boyfriend is okay with that? “

Harry frowned and looked in front “stop judging me”

Louis felt nervous “I am not”

“yes you are, ever since I showed up and you keep judging me”

Louis defended himself “I was not”

Harry was standing up “good, cause I am not the one who is faking a whole new relationship to his family”

“haaay.. That’s not of your business.. I am paying you for this”

Harry was on his feet, he looked at him “and I don’t care. But you need to stop judging me. You need me, remember “

“no, I don’t “

Harry frowned harder, he then put his hand in his pocket and he put out a 100, he put it on the table “I will give you back the rest within a week”. He left the files and he walked towards the door 

Louis looked at the money, and then at Harry who was dressing his coat weakly 

“what are you doing? “

Harry without looking “you said you don’t need me”

Louis huffed “I don’t “

Harry opened the door “fine, I am leaving, I will send the money with Zayn”

Louis sighed and looked down, he heard Harry’s again trying to take a full breath and he stepped outside 

“Harry wait” but Harry didn’t wait. Louis looked up and the flat was empty, he rushed outside and he saw Harry leaving the building so he ran after him calling out his name. Harry didn’t even look back. 

Louis finally reached him and he put his hand on his shoulder to stop him , his whole body was shaking but Louis ignored that. 

“let’s talk” Louis said

Harry said “there is nothing to talk about, I was just trying to help”

Louis sighed “I know. It’s just.. It is not you I promise. But I don’t really love lying to my family, and I had to”

Harry looked at him and nodded 

“come back.. Let’s talk about it”

Harry closed his eyes for a second “I really need some sleep. I will see you early in the morning, you work tomorrow? “

Louis shook his head, but he couldn’t miss how small Harry looked, exhausted and tired. He could barely stand. He was awfully sad and Louis didn’t know if he was the reason or something else 

“sleep with me… I mean at my place” Louis stuttered, and finally Harry smiled “I will go home. Sleep better there”

Louis nodded, of course sleeping with his boyfriend was better 

“do you mean you still coming tomorrow, right? “, Harry nodded “do you want me? “

“of course.. You will save my arse”

Harry looked at Louis’ back, he smirked “it deserves to be saved”

“haaay” Louis said but not angry, actually he was happy somehow he wanted to see Harry smiling again 

“are you sure you can go back home? Call your boyfriend.. It is too cold and you look tired”

Harry smirked again “caring boyfriend now. . I like that. Tomorrow we will discuss that”

Louis rolled his eyes “I mean it though. Call him. You can wait him at my place”

Harry smiled “I called him,”, Louis frowned cause when exactly? 

“he is on his way. You go home before catching any cold” Louis was trembling, he was only wearing his hoodie 

He finally nodded “fine see you tomorrow then”

Harry nodded, Louis took two steps when Harry said “hay Louis. You have to promise me something first ”

Louis looked at him “okay? “

“you will never judge me again” Again Harry looked sad

Louis had to nod “cross my heart”

Then Harry walked away, and Louis returned to his building. But before he entered he looked at where Harry was. He was still walking alone, still looking down, still looking tired. 

******

The doorbell was shouting, Louis jumped up his bed and he rushed to the door. It was still seven am. Who was visiting him now? 

He opened the door and for a moment he did not realise who was that. Wearing a long woolen black coat, with high neck black shoes. A gucci baby blue pool pullover and a handmade knitted colourful scarf. His hair was collected by a thin head bandana and he was holding two coffees in his hand and a back bag. 

“morning baby” he said with a smile

Louis looked at him up and down again, Harry said “too much? You wrote I work in fashion “

Yeah a photographer not a model! 

Louis finally found his face “Harry? “

Harry gave him the coffee and entered the flat, he took off his coat and hanged it “did I wake you up? “

Louis sighed “it’s seven in the morning, please tell me you are not a morning person”

“you wrote it down” Harry grinned 

“I take it back.. God”

Harry giggled “too bad you can’t.. Now wash your face and let’s have breakfast” he opened his bag and put out a big box. Once he opened it a lovely smell filled the place 

“you baked? “ Louis asked 

Harry took the coffee from Louis and nodded “you wrote that I am the one who cooks in this relationship”

Louis was looking at him shocked 

Harry giggled “relax, I didn’t learn it for you. I already love cooking so it will work for us. Now go and wash your face”

Louis walked to his bathroom, he peed and washed his face, he then smelled his armpit it wasn’t good, he took off his clothes and jumped in his shower cabinet, he had to look good compared to the model who was waiting for him. 

Ten minutes later Louis was walking back to Harry. Harry was wandering the place. Once he felt Louis he asked “is that your taste? “

Louis took a big bite of the muffin that was calling for him “what? “

“did you decorate your place? Or someone did it for you? “

“I can’t see why does it matter? “

Harry looked at him and he nodded his head “ it doesn’t “

He walked and sat at the dining table, Louis sat beside him trying to avoid how did he embarrassed Harry. 

“they taste good” he said 

Harry nodded “thanks”

Louis looked at him “okay, what do you want to talk about? “

Harry looked at him “us”, Louis nodded, Harry said “how do you want us? Are we going to break up soon so we can fight once or twice? Or we are going to be so much in love and when you come back, I will suddenly die or something “

Louis frowned and looked at him “no one is dying “

Harry shrugged “everyone is gonna die one day”

Louis shook his head “no, we will be okay. And I will figure out what to do next”

Harry nodded “your family will love me though; it is going to be hard, you will need to think of something serious “

Louis was still looking at him “don’t worry about them”

Harry again shrugged “so a happy couple then”

“yeah, very happy”

“okay.. You didn’t say the name, your boyfriends name”

Louis nodded “your name”

“my name? You mean Your family doesn’t know the name? “

Louis sighed and took a sip of the coffee “no Harry, they know nothing about you, I mean about my boyfriend "

Harry nodded “okay so I will be Harry. I am gonna call you Lou “

Louis raised a brow, Harry added “we are together and in love. I am surely gonna call you Lou, and you will call me? “

Louis shrugged although he had a point “I don’t know”

Harry sighed “whatever crosses your mind”

Louis nodded “okay, I will think about it”

Harry nodded, he then asked “are we gonna kiss? “

Louis was drinking but when he heard Harry the coffee stuck in his throat that he coughed hard, embarrassing it was but he could not answer that, of course he would love to kiss him but how? He saw Harry leaving his seat but Louis was still coughing his lungs out  
Harry gave him a napkin and rubbed his back till Louis calmed down 

Louis took the napkin and looked at Harry “thanks”

“do you have asthma? “ he asked, Louis wiped the coffee out and shook his head “no, it is nothing “

Harry sat back and waited. Louis took a deep breath, he noticed that Harry was expecting an answer so he shrugged “I don’t know, should we? “

Harry nodded “I think we have to”

Louis nodded 

“it is gonna be easy, it would be like good morning baby” and then he kissed his cheek so fast “something like that”  
Harry was looking at Louis waiting for his response. 

Louis was still feeling the lips on his cheek, but he gathered himself “good”

Harry nodded “and what about the body language. Are we gonna hug all the time, stay close? “

Louis shrugged “Harry, we will play a couple. Be normal”

Harry raised his brows “are you sure? “

Louis nodded “yup” he took a large sip, he wanted to end the conversation. 

Harry nodded “okay... Do you think there is anything else I need to know”

Louis shook his head “I wrote everything down. If I remembered anything, I will tell you”

Harry sighed “okay.. My turn”

Louis looked at him “your turn? “

Harry nodded “yes, my turn. I memorized the file very good. But I don’t think you did”

Louis frowned “what do you mean? “

“we need to work on that, I need you to know few things about me too. Don’t worry it doesn’t change the character you want me to play but .. I think you should know”

Louis nodded “okay, like what “

Harry rested his back “what about my parents? You didn’t write anything about them? Are they alive? “

Louis nodded “whatever “

“not whatever, be specific, have you met them? Do I have a family? “  
Louis huffed “ everyone is alive Harry okay, they are not living here. They live in USA, I haven’t met them no. You are an only child, had a perfect childhood but your family had to go to America once you had your job”

Harry was listening carefully, he finally nodded his head  
“what else? “ Louis asked 

Harry nodded “ I am vegetarian, is that okay? “

Louis nodded “yup. Okay”

“I get drunk easily, so no alcohol for me”, Louis giggled  
“well that will be a problem, it’s a wedding, everyone will get drunk”

Harry shrugged “I can pretend if you want”

Louis shook his head because he didn’t believe how easily Harry could pretend anything “no Harry, I don’t want you to pretend that”

Harry nodded, he was thinking of anything else “okay, you know my four rules right? “

Louis snorted “no sex and not fall in love with you, noted that”

Harry smirked “we will see about that”

Louis ignored that comment “anything else you want to add? “

Harry looked at him “we will be a couple for the next seven days. I have to come back at the fifth of December, okay? I need to be at some place ”

Louis nodded “sure. Three days with family and then we will transfer to my grandpa’s house where the wedding will take place”

Harry nodded “my style is okay with you? “ he looked at himself 

Louis looked at him too “you look good”

Harry looked at him “ okay. Now you haven’t written anything about your friends “

Louis looked at him “don’t worry about them, my family never met them”

Harry nodded “okay, so we will pretend that you have no friends? “

Louis frowned “no, you know Zayn.. He is my best friend, and Niall”

Harry froze for a second “you know Niall? “

Louis looked at him confused “is that a problem? “

Harry slowly shook his head “no”

Louis sighed, okay no personal questions, right? 

“you know Niall? “

Harry shook his head “no” he left his seat and gave Louis his back, Louis asked 

“you just looked like you know him”

Louis definitely heard Harry wheezing, he frowned and he was going to ask if he was okay 

“I have asthma “ Harry explained, he looked at Louis “I think you should know in case I have an attack in front of you, so don't panic "

He put his hand in his pocket “I always keep my inhaler with me

He took it and took two puffs and then put it back, he looked at his bag “I keep an extra one in my bag at the external zipper in case I lost mine or fainted and couldn’t Talk or anything like that"

Louis stood up looking worried “is it that bad? “

Harry shook his head “no, but I think you should know”

Louis nodded, then he asked “you are okay now? You are not having any attack or something? “

Harry shook his head “I am good”

Then he sat again in his place again. 

Louis bit his inner cheeks “anything else I need to know? “

Harry shook his head and smiled “if I remember anything I will tell you lou” 

Louis was again taken back but he nodded, okay, the movie started now and he also needed to practice himself. 

Harry collected the empty cups and headed to the kitchen “do you know how to cook? have you ever cooked for me? “

Louis followed him “I can make pasta “

Harry tossed the cups in the trash and closed his eyes 

“lou made me the best pasta ever, with those tinny mushrooms and oh the smell the smell was amazing”

Louis giggled “you have to be an actor”

Harry was still with eyes closed “ come on don’t ruin it, keep up with me”

Louis shook his head, he still couldn’t believe he was doing this 

“ it was your birthday baby, I had to do something “

Harry was impressed he opened his eyes “that’s right, and then you gave me the best present ever “

Louis giggled “I know, I know you always wear that beanie”

Harry giggled and looked around him as if speaking to audience “he made it himself, I don’t even know when he learnt”

Louis froze, he looked at him “how did you know I can knit? Did I write it down “

Harry looked at him “you didn’t. But I found it on your Instagram. It was three years ago, you made your mother a lovely head band, she took a picture and posted it”

And now Louis could remember, that it was the Christmas present for her, it was nothing but his mom loved it and wore it for the complete vacation, and when he returned home, she posted it with a thank you note.

“ do you have any beanie though? I didn’t bring any”

Louis shook his head “it doesn’t matter, no one is going to ask”

But Harry was thinking “I can say I lost it when you took me to camping .. I cried a river for a complete month”

Louis was watching him “yah, whatever “

Harry groaned “louuuu”

Louis giggled, and looked around him “ we returned and looked for it for two hours. But nothing was found”

“I cried for month”

“I said I will make you a new one Hazza”

Harry looked down and stopped smiling, Louis noticed “is it a bad name! HAZZA? “

Harry shook his head “no, no.. You can call me that, my boyfriend calls me that”

Okay, now Louis stopped talking. 

******  
They spent the rest of the time Harry trying to catch up anything about Louis. Louis let him of course, he felt like he was a lab rabbit but he needed that, he needed Harry to know everything he could about him, he didn’t need any mistakes, he couldn’t let his mother down. 

“how do you know Zayn?” Louis asked while eating the pizza they ordered for dinner 

Harry looked at him and shrugged “what did Zayn tell you? “ he took a big bite 

Louis rolled his eyes “you are his old mate”

Harry nodded “that’s right”

“Harry, it is not a personal question come on. What? Were you in the school together? “

Harry was silent but he shook his head, then finally he sighed “we had a common friend “

Louis narrowed his eyes “what friend? I know all his friends “

Harry looked at him and shrugged “school mate, I don't think you met him“

Louis nodded and didn’t talk again. 

Harry put the rest of his slice at his plate “I have to go”  
he stood up

Louis frowned “now? Finish your dinner at least”

Harry was walking to the door “no, I am full. What time do you need me tomorrow? “

Louis was following him, again he seemed off, again he seemed hiding something, but again Louis had to ignore. No personal question 

Finally Louis said “early”

Harry nodded, he wore his jacket and he looked at Louis with a huge smile. 

Suddenly Louis remembered “oh, wait”

He opened a drawer next to the door, he put out an envelope “here, that’s the rest”

Harry stared at the envelope for few seconds, it looked like he was fighting something in his mind but finally he gave up. With shaking hands, he took the envelope and for the first time Harry gave a fake smile “thank you”. Louis watched his face carefully while he was taking his bag, he was hurt. He was sad. 

Harry opened the door and said “see you tomorrow. Sleep well “

And he walked away. 

******  
Louis was cleaning the place when the door was knocked again. Louis rushed to the door, it had to be Harry, he forgot something. 

It was Zayn. 

“hello, there” Zayn said, he entered the house “ it’s freezing out there”

He put his jacket on the hanger “where is Harry? “

Louis closed the door “left”

Zayn looked at him, but didn’t talk. 

Louis rolled his eyes “he will come in the morning “

Zayn smiled “okay, good”

He then walked to the living and collapsed on the couch “how do you find him then? “

Louis sat beside him “I really don’t know”

Zayn giggled “it will be okay”

“I hope so, how do you know him again? “

Zayn sighed “I really can’t remember, he is an old friend, I guess I knew him through people at high school “

Louis didn’t talk, it wasn’t enough 

“maybe we are not close, but we were at some point. I trust him”

Louis looked at him “ and he owns you”

Zayn nodded “he owes me”

“how? “

Zayn smiled “I saved his life”

Louis snorted “yeah right”

“I swear to God, ask him”

Louis shook his head in disbelief “I am not allowed”

“what?! “ Zayn seems confused, Louis looked at him “his four rules”

Zayn narrowed his eyes still missing something  
“his four rules, he told me you know about them”

Zayn giggled “and what are those rules? ”

Louis said upset “let me remember those stupid rules” 

he started to count on his finger “he gest paid first” Zayn nodded understanding 

“no personal question, no sex and don’t fall in love with him”

Zayn nodded then he laughed “told you it will be alright “

Louis sighed “I will kill you if it didn’t. Where is Niall? “

Zayn looked at him “it will. And Niall isn’t coming, he is interviewing flatmates”

Louis laughed “finally ”

Zayn nodded "yeah, he finally letting people taking Liam' place. It is hard though" 

Louis nodded, of course it was hard. Louis never met Liam, he died before Louis met Zayn and Niall last year, but he knew how it hurt because everytime they mentioned him, they look hurt. 

He wanted to ask if he knew Harry, but he would be that obvious. He didn’t want to spend the whole night talking about Harry 

“how about a movie? “

Zayn smiled “popcorn? “

“help yourself”


	3. Chapter 3

It was awfully raining, Louis was in his apartment trying to keep himself warm as long as he could, he was fully dressed, the bag was already in the car and he was again trying to revise the big lie he just created with Harry. 

The doorbell rang, Harry had arrived. Louis opened the door was a half mind “get in” he said and he rushed inside to bring his coat. 

“good morning to you too” Harry said 

Louis turned and looked at him, maybe he was more attractive right now with the green beanie on the head and the matching scarf. 

“I am sorry, morning to you” Louis said. 

“it is freezing outside, I can’t feel my arse” he groaned

Louis smiled “would you like something hot to drink? “

Harry looked at his watch “no, we can bring something on our way, my bag is down stairs”

Louis nodded and he took his stuff and they walked outside . 

Harry said while putting his bag in the car “I wanted to ask you what is your suit color to match but I remembered I only have one siut so it wouldn’t mind anyway” 

Louis only gave him a quick smile, his mind was taken, he was rethinking the whole matter. He was picturing his mom finding out his lie and being disappointed. Or they fall in love with Harry and get disappointed when he break up with him. In either ways she will be disappointed. 

They entered the car and he started to drive. After maybe twenty minutes, they arrived at the Starbucks, Louis noticed that they hadn’t say a word. He looked at Harry and he was closing his eyes 

“are you sleeping? “ Louis asked 

Harry opened his eyes and looked at him “no, do you mind if I did? I couldn’t sleep well last night”

Louis looked at Starbucks “aren’t you drinking something? “

Harry noticed where they were “oh, yeah sure.. What can I bring you? “

Louis smiled “you don’t have to”

“I insist”

Louis shrugged “double espresso then”

Harry nodded and walked out the car. Maybe Louis was imaging what happened, but he heard someone calling Harry’s name, Harry didn’t move he kept walking inside the place and then Louis saw a man following him. 

It took Harry ten minutes, he returned back with two coffee and a bag, he entered the car letterly shaking “I brought some donuts.. Do you mind eating in the car? “ he looked at Louis worried 

Louis shook his head, he started the car again, Harry gave him his coffee 

“I Heard someone calling your name” Louis said 

Harry stopped what he was doing for a second and then he gave him his donuts “really! “

“yeah, the man that followed you there “

Harry looked out the window “no, no one was calling me. do you like your donuts?it's With cinnamon just like how you like it”

Louis had to nod, again Harry was hiding, again Harry was lying. Louis made a mental note never ask him any kind of questions. 

Louis started the radio, he wanted something to quiet his mind and Harry wasn’t helping at all. 

They stopped eating and Harry was looking through the window obviously his mind was somewhere else. 

Louis was looking at him from time to time. The look on his face was sad, miserable. Louis felt that when Harry being alone he would be so sad, all the smile and cheerfulness was a mask and Harry was a good actor. Only when he puts his guards down he looks sad. 

“ I love this song” Harry suddenly said, he didn’t look at Louis or anything, he was still staring out the window 

Louis nodded his head “it’s a lovely song”, it was landslide by Stevie Nicks

“it’s a sad song, but its so honest”

Louis looked at the road again “you seem like a fan of her”

Harry gave a weak smile “mom used to love her”

Used to, did he mean his mom was no longer around.  
“she is the queen” Louis added 

Harry finally looked at him “can I sleep for a little bit? “

Louis nodded “yeah, yeah sure. Go ahead”  
*******  
Harry slept the whole way, louis couldn’t find it in his heart to wake him up, he looked so peaceful sleeping. He looked younger and maybe calmer. 

So After four hours Louis called his name, he was about to enter the gate “wake up Harry” 

Harry didn’t move so Louis shook him softly, Harry stirred but still eyes closed “in a minute Li”

Louis entered the gate “it’s Lou you idiot, now wake up we are here”

Harry opened his eyes, he looked disoriented for a second then he gathered his shit, he looked around him “we are here? “

Louis smiled “we are”

Harry looked at him shocked “you live here? “

Louis looked at him confused “since I was seven, yeah”

“you didn’t tell me you were rich”

Louis frowned, he thought he already knew that, but again how? He never mentioned that and his  
apartment and car were okay. 

“my family is rich”

Harry was looking around astonished, the gardens looked amazing and when the house appeared Harry gasped “wow, it’s gonna be amazing, wait a minute. Why didn’t you wake me up, I could have helped driving”

Louis shook his head an parked the car “I hate sharing my car”

Harry nodded “okay” 

Then they saw a woman, not any woman Jay came out of the house looking so excited. 

Louis took a deep breath and closed his eyes, suddenly he felt Harry taking his hand and squeezed “it’s gonna be okay “

Louis looked at him and then he nodded, then Harry winked “and the movie starts right now”

Louis felt his door was opened, he looked and his mom was looking at him with big smile “oh my god! , I miss you Lou”

Louis left the car and hugged her immediately, she hugged him tight, so tight and he missed that hug.  
She then looked at him and cupped his face “I can’t believe you are finally here “

Lottie suddenly said “we made a bet about it, I guess I won mom”

Louis hugged Lottie too, then he heard “oh look at you, we finally meet”

Louis hastily looked at his mom who was hugging Harry, Harry was hugging her back . 

Harry looked at her with his charming eyes “thanks for having me here”

Harry put all the bags out while Louis was hugging his mom, he walked towards them with Lottie 

Harry looked at her, he stretched his hand “hi Lottie”

She smiled and hugged him “I have been dying to meet you”

Then Jay asked “ how was the trip? “

Louis answered first “it was good”

Harry shrugged “I couldn’t know, I was sleeping the whole way, Louis doesn’t like sharing his car”

“oh, Lou, I thought you had changed” his mom smiled  
Harry smiled “no, not yet, but I am working on it, next time you might find him the one who sleeps the whole way”

Louis shrugged “ doesn't mean you had to sleep too, we could have talked “

Harry giggled “oh, please. You will talk about your job, besides you didn’t let me have my sleep last night” he then looked at Jay “he was nervous wreck, actually it scared me a little bit, and when I am scared I sleep”

And wow, he lied naturally. Louis was watching him, he didn't flinch, he didn't hesitate. He was normal. 

Jay smiled softly at Harry and rubbed his forearm “ oh no need to be scared. You are very much welcomed”

Then the twins came out, they ran and hugged Louis, Harry was looking at them with a big smile, they shook his hand and welcomed him nicely, but he didn’t talk. Louis looked at him and he looked nervous, Harry then whispered “now they both have the same hair”

Louis giggled, Harry “you should have showed me their Instagram”

Jay said “let’s go inside, it’s cold out here”

Harry looked at the bags “okay let me bring those”

“don’t mind them, someone will put them in your room”

Harry smirked at Louis who rolled his eyes, Harry then asked while walking beside Jay “where are the kids? “

Louis heard his mother saying “they are inside”

Lottie walked closer “ thank you for coming and bringing him, she was so happy and she told everyone”

Louis only smiled and walked inside with his sister.  
When he walked inside he saw Harry carrying Doris and shaking hands with Ernest. Okay that was good, right? Last he checked his twin was too shy to communicate with strangers. 

Louis looked at his mother and she was watching Harry fondly then he looked at Louis and gave him a big smile. 

“come on kids, leave Harry alone, I am sure he wants some rest”

Harry giggled and put the girl down “it’s really okay” he looked around him and said “you have a beautiful house Mrs. Denken”

She smiled widely and also looked around ” oh thank you Harry, it took a year to be finished”

Harry looked at her “it deserved every minute. Now I know where did Louis got his taste” and Louis hastily looked at him. 

But Jay gave him a small laugh “thank you Harry, would you like to have a look? “she looked around her “the girls can take you inside a quick round ”

“I would love too”

Then Daisy and Phoebe took his hands, he walked with them but he said “okay, first you have to tell me who is who, Louis really tried his best but I guess I failed”

The girls laughed and said something Louis couldn’t hear. 

“he is so handsome” Lottie told him, she looked at him “ didn’t know he was your type”

“my type? “

She shrugged “I don’t know, Nick was… “

Louis groaned “not again” 

Jay sighed “leave your brother alone Lotts. How about some coffee”

They walked to the kitchen, although she had a lot of servants to help her Jay always loved to do the cook. She poured Louis some coffee and she gave him the cup. 

He took it and had a big sip, he needed it. 

Jay smiled “how are you really? “

He looked at him “I am fine mom, I am okay really “

She nodded “does he treat you okay? “

Louis frowned “you mean Harry? Yeah.. Yeah he is the best” he took another sip. 

He looked through the glass door and he saw Harry and his sisters from the other side talking and laughing, somehow he felt angry, because he didn’t know how Harry could fake everything perfectly like that. 

“he looks charming sweaty” his mom said also watching Harry. 

Louis had to nod “I am sure you will love him”

“if he makes you happy then of course I will”

Lottie said “we thought he wasn’t even real”

Louis looked at her “what?! “

She shrugged casually “I mean we never met him, you never posted anything about him”

“he hates social media-“ he interrupted her 

“never calls, we never hear his voice or even know his name. It was a mystery to us and you made it harder to believe “

She was absolutely right 

“well, here he is all yours, investigate him as much as you want”

Jay sighed “we will not do that, we just don’t understand why you kept him away”

Louis looked at his coffee “I didn’t. I just… I didn’t… I wasn’t sure about my feelings”

Lottie said “you have been together for six months”

Louis looked at his sister “ he is here now “

Lottie was going to talk but Jay said “you are right, he is here now. You are here now and I can’t be more happy”

Louis nodded his head and Harry entered the kitchen looking happy “I love the house” 

Jay smiled “thank you so much “

He walked and sat by Louis “I mean it though.. It is very warm “

Louis felt deeply angry, all this would make the family fall harder for Harry. but he faked a smile “I am glad you like it “

She then headed to pour him something to drink “drink something ? “

Harry said “please tell me you have some tea, you are not all a coffee person”

Jay giggled “yes we have tea”

One of the twins “only Louis and Fizz are coffee addict “

And Louis froze, Fizz. He never mentioned it to Harry. He couldn’t. 

Harry tried to keep his smile and he looked at Louis “he is an addict” but his eyes said the question. Louis whispered “later”

Jay gave Harry his tea, he took it and cupped his hands around it, Louis saw his fingers already had turned blue, Harry took a sip and smiled “ absolutely delicious “

Jay smiled “you are welcome”

Harry then smiled “I am really happy to be between you all, Louis told me a lot about you”

Lottie smiled “and we know nothing about you”

Harry giggled “auch”

Lottie shrugged and Louis said “I told you Lottie, I wasn’t sure about my feelings, you don’t have to make a big deal”

Harry’s smile dropped and suddenly the place filled into silence. 

Louis noticed what he had said, okay if Harry was his real boyfriend he would be hurt. But Harry wasn’t, and he wasn’t hurt but all the looks on his family faces said something else. 

Harry sighed “actually it was an agreement “

Jay looked confused “how? “

Harry shrugged “when we started this relation we wanted to make it slow, we didn’t want any pressure.. I wasn’t in a good place back then and Louis was patient and supportive, so I asked him not to tell our families.. I know I would cause this and I am sorry for this. I am the one to blame”

Louis looked at him by the corner of his eyes, and Harry took his hand that was resting on the table and squeezed it. 

Jay finally said “oh sweety, we could have understood… if that was your wish”

Harry frowned sadly “I know, I know. But I thought that would be the right thing back then. I am sorry I was selfish I didn’t think clearly about Louis. But when we sit and talked.. I guess he could change me”

Jay smiled widely and looked at her son proudly “sounds like my son”

And Louis hated Harry more. What was he trying to do? 

Harry looked at Louis and smiled fondly “my life has changed the minute I met him, to the better, I can’t be any more thankful “

Louis was staring back at Harry, he wanted to stab him to shut him up. He heard sighs from all his sisters and he wanted to leave the place right now. 

Jay said trying not to show her tears “you need your rest, Louis will show you your room and dinner will be in an hour”

Louis nodded and stood up hastily so did Harry.  
Louis walked in front and Harry followed him after giving g two kisses for the kids who were literally following him. 

Once Louis closed the door room he heard Harry gasping, he looked at him and Harry was looking with hearty eyes at the room 

He then looked at Louis “wow”

Louis again rolled his eyes, he checked the bags trying to busy himself. 

Harry looked back again at the room, a King size bed, a huge couch, beautiful curtains, wonderful mat. Huge LCD, dressing room, big bathroom. Small bar. 

“I take the couch “

Louis sighed “no, you are not, you are my guest.. I guess”

Harry snorted and he collapsed on the comfortable couch “ you’ve already paid me”

Louis felt the anger again, he hated how Harry enjoyed his time this much, enjoyed this lie. But why would Harry feel anything, it was his job right? He was already paid. 

Louis shrugged “suit yourself”

Then he dragged his bag to the dressing room, and then felt Harry was shifting, he waited for him but Harry didn’t show. 

He walked to where Harry was and he saw him taking some pill, he then put the container in his back bag.  
“what is this? “ louis asked warily

Harry looked at him “I have a headache, don’t worry I won’t ruin anything “

Louis had to nod cause he had no any other option, he then said “if you don’t want to unpack, someone can do the job for you. I am taking the right side"

Harry collapsed again on the coach and smirked “I can help myself ”

Louis nodded “right”

“how come you never told me you are rich”

Louis raised a brow “is this a problem “

Harry shrugged “I should have known”

Louis rolled his eyes “why? To ask for more money”

Harry frowned but didn’t talk, Louis smiled internally, he felt he could finally beat him at something.  
“who is Fizz? “

Louis looked at him, Harry said “your sisters mentioned it, so is she a family or a friend? “

Louis looked down “was… and she was my sister “

Harry slowly sat on the couch, Louis added “I am sorry I did not mention her. She died four years ago.. Before I joined Instagram and social media maybe that’s why you heard nothing about her”

Harry looked awfully sad “oh my God. How is your mom? “

Louis was shocked, somehow he felt honesty came from Harry, he sighed “she is trying, we all are.. It was hard for us”

“I am sure it was.. May I know how did it happen? “

Louis shrugged “it was a heart attack.. She was too young for this but it happened. We couldn’t do anything “

Harry only nodded and looked down. He then said “I am gonna go and take a shower”

Louis nodded, but when Harry stood up “and Harry…”

Harry looked at him, Louis said “about what you said earlier., when Lottie sounded upset about not hearing about you.. You didn’t have to do this”

“I was trying to help” he smiled 

Louis again felt angry “I don’t need your help”

Harry frowned “well, you did, you needed and you still need my help. Those are your family, they support you. They can hate me for asking this from you but they can’t hate you, so thank you would be fair enough ”

Louis felt he was furious, he walked closer and he pointed with his finger and nudged Harry’s chest “ listen to me and listen carefully, you will stick with what I told you, you are not allowed to create anything from your mind, you are not allowed to add details from your head”

Harry was looking at him with wide eyes “and how am I suppose to do that? It’s seven days with a huge family.. “

“then don’t leave my side “ Louis groaned

Harry snorted “yeah, right. You were about to cry when your sister cornered you”

Louis pushed his chest not strong and not also weak. Harry stepped back and touched his chest at where he was pushed “ you didn’t have to do that”

“you know nothing about me Harry so don’t cross your line here, you are here only for the job, you are paid so I can have the service I asked for, am I clear”

Harry looked down and he didn’t talk 

Louis sighed, he rubbed his face maybe he was too much but it was too late 

“Harry, I don’t want to be nervous all the time and worried if you added something.. “

“I didn’t do anything wrong, I was only helping “

“Harry! Stick to our plan”

Harry shook his head in disbelief, but he didn’t look up “ I am gonna go and have a shower” 

Then he walked away and closed the door behind him.

Louis huffed in frustration, okay that definitely was too much, he didn’t have to shout and of course he did not have to push Harry. The man was only trying to help, but that scared Louis, he knows his mom was too smart and Lottie was genius so any mistake Harry or him might do will blow their plan. 

Louis knew he had to apologise to Harry, when Harry finishs . He changed his clothes and waited but it took forever for Harry to leave the bathroom. 

Louis frowned and walked to the door, he knocked “Harry? “

It took thirty seconds, Louis’ heart accelerated, what was happening inside 

“yeah? “

Louis closed his eyes, he relaxed a bit “I am gonna go down, okay”

“okay”

He wanted to ask if he was coming out anytime soon but he decided to avoid Harry for now. 

He left the room but he made up his mind, he would definitely talk to Harry when he sees him again.  
Louis walked down looking for his mom or sisters, he saw his mom sitting alone around the corner looking at the outside, she always loved this place, it was her favorite.

He walked and kissed her cheek and sat in front of her. 

She smiled “I thought you will sleep “

Louis shook his head “no, I don’t feel like it”

“and Harry? “ 

“he is taking a shower”

His mom nodded “he seems nice”. 

Louis only nodded and looked at anything but his mother 

She sighed “sweaty, you could have told me that it was his idea. I mean hiding the whole relation from me hurt my heart. You could have said it was his desire, I could have understood “

Louis shrugged, he didn’t know what to say exactly  
“I know you didn’t want us to look down at him, but I understand when you are not in a good place. I understand how nervous he was. Is he okay now? He seems I don’t know… sad”

Louis snapped his head up. How did his mom noticed that, how did he missed that, but no Harry wasn’t sad, Harry was a hired liar. 

“so is he? “ his mom looked sincerely worried and Louis hated that 

“he is fine mom, it was something but it is over now”

His mom nodded “are you taking care of him? “

He smiled “what do you think mom? “

She giggled “I think you are the best boyfriend anyone could ever have”

He smiled wide “alright, enough talking about me. How are you? “

She nodded “I am good, and since you are here I am better”

“seriously mom, how do you feel? “

She sighed “I am trying sweaty. I am really trying. Sometimes it is good and sometimes it’s bad”

He shook his head “I hate that I am not around “

She took his hand and squeezed “I know you have to be somewhere else. I know you need your peace. Besides I am not alone Dan and the kids are here with me”

Louis looked down and he nodded, he tried not to cry, but he failed 

“hay, it is a wedding, happy days, no tears unless it was happy tears”

He was going to talk but suddenly he heard the twins talking and then they showed and sat beside him  
Daisy started “we are so glad you are finally here Lou”

Phoebe nodded “it has been long”

He looked between them “look at you girls, when did you grow up”

Daisy rolled her eyes “we are sixteen now Louis”

“already!! “

They laughed, Phoebe said “where is your boyfriend? “

Louis sighed “taking his shower “

Daisy winked “he is a catch, can’t wait to show him to  
my friends. Does he have an account on Instagram? “

Louis shook his head, he knew his sisters would do that, that’s why he asked Harry to deactivate his account and Harry was okay with it. 

“he hates social media. You won’t find anything about him”

Phoebe “we will take photos then with him”

Jay said “or he can take photos for you, he is a photographer “

“we will ask him that”

Jay stood up “”okay, go and bring him. We are starving”

*******  
Louis opened the bedroom door, and Harry was brushing his hair, he was in front of the mirror wearing another gorgeous outfit. Louis couldn’t help himself 

“how could you afford Gucci? “

Harry looked at him through the mirror, he shrugged “you said I am working in fashion “

Louis nodded “yeah, as a photographer not a model”

Harry turned and looked at him “ you are not the only rich one in this relationship “

Louis rolled his eyes “fine. Don’t tell me. I don’t need to know anyway”

Harry didn’t look at him again, he tied his hair in a messy ponytail”

“how do they find me? “ Harry asked 

Louis shrugged “mom thinks you are nice. The twins too.”

Harry looked at him “ and Lottie? “

“don’t worry. They are not supposed to love you. I just want them to see you, so don’t overdo anything “

Harry murmured “please don’t lecture me again”

Louis heard him, and he remembered he had to apologise, but he didn’t and he ignored Harry’s comment. 

“they are waiting for us” and he walked in front of him. And Harry slowly followed him.


	4. Chapter 4

“the food is amazing “ as usual Harry complemented Jay “Louis told me you love cooking “

Louis was sitting beside him eating and trying to keep his nerves down. Everything was worrying him.  
Specially Lottie’s eyes that were following Him and Harry everywhere. 

Jay smiled “I used to Not now though . But this meal I cooked it all for you only”

Harry drank some water “I am honored “

“ you are a veggie, right? “

Harry nodded “that’s right, it’s always had been something at the first of our relation. I mean Louis eats junk food while I like to keep healthy” they all giggled 

“so, tell me Harry” Harry looked at her, she added “tell me more about your parents”

Harry kept his smile but he put the fork down and took the glass of water “what do you want to know, let me think. They live in USA, in Chicago to be specific. Been married since twenty eight years now. They are so much in love. I mean what they have-“ he looked at Louis fondly and took his hand “I just wish I could have” Louis was shocked because Harry was good, Harry was perfect that Louis believed him for a minute. He looked honest and his eyes were so sad and hurt 

Louis felt how sad Harry was, no one noticed but Louis heard his voice tone changed, his hands trembled a little bit and that’s why he took Louis’ hand. It was like Harry let his guards down, these high walls he built around him Louis saw them collapsing for a minute, bit not only Louis So did Jay, Harry added “it’s amazing to keep their marriage strong all this time”

Harry then left Louis’s hand and Louis missed the warmth, Harry looked at Jay “they have their ups and downs of course, but I just like how they at the end of day fight together “ he sighed and looked at his fork “I mean, you just be the luckiest when you find your other half, when he is supportive and stay… just stay with no matter what happens he stays”

Louis was the only one who saw how glassy his eyes turned. Louis swallowed thickly and he heard his mom saying 

“I am glad that my son makes you feel this secure”

Harry raised his head and looked at Jay “oh, he does. He really does, thank you for raising him this way”

The girls giggled and Lottie said “ lad, you have to stop being like this. She likes you already “she said it in a funny way, she didn’t mean to hurt him, Harry only smiled while Jay said “he can keep flirting with me all the time he wants”

Louis needed to change the subject because one more conversation like this and he will fall for Harry for real.  
Harry reached his hand again for the glass of water  
when one of the twins said “wow Harry, where did you get those? “

She meant the bracelets around his wrist. Harry was confused first then he smiled and looked at them “do you like them? “

Daisy nodded “gorgeous “

Louis looked at the bracelets, they looked good and elegant, he wondered again how could Harry afford them 

Lottie was also looking “what does it say? “

Harry raised hand so they can see “together, forever “

“my boyfriend brought them to me” Harry said , Louis opened his eyes wide, Harry added calmly “I mean Louis” he giggled “he brought them after one month of us dating”

Lottie smirked “I didn’t know you are such a romantic lover Lou”

Jay sighed and looked down while Louis knew Lottie was teasing “well, now you know”

Lottie “good, I guess it will work with you this time” 

Louis tensed and Harry slowly hide his brackets and looked down, he knew he fucked up again 

“so Lottie. How is Mark? “ Louis asked raising a brow 

She chuckled and shook her head “we broke up”

Jay put the fork down and all the girls stopped eating, it was tense 

“when? “ Louis asked 

“three months ago”

Louis was shocked “how come I never know”

Lottie snapped “if you were asking you would have known”

“hay, I am calling, I am calling a lot”

Lottie was furious “only to check on mom, you only call for her, you only call when she doesn’t answer. You never called me, you never cared”

Louis was shocked, was it true, did he do that “not true”

“so true. You never asked about me, why would I tell you anything “

“Lottie stop. You could have-“

“you never listen Louis, you stopped listening you are not here anymore”

“well, don’t get mad at me. You didn’t tell me because you know I was right, he was an idiot and you did the right thing by dumping him”

Lottie looked at him with big eyes and tears filled her eyes, then she left 

Louis groaned “now what? “

Jay sighed “he broke up with her”. 

Louis closed his eyes in realization, okay now he could admit it to himself, he was the worst brother ever. His sister was hurt for the last three months and he had no idea. 

“it was so hard for her Louis, you shouldn’t have said that” Daisy said and she also left followed by her twin.  
They walked to Lottie who disappeared inside. 

Louis was looking down, he was so angry at himself, so he stood up “I am sorry “ and he left too. 

Harry was looking at Louis who walked to the outside through the glass doors. 

Jay said finally “sorry about that, we just wanted a normal dinner”

Harry looked at her and smiled sadly “no, no don’t be. I guess I should talk to him”

Harry followed Louis, Louis was walking in the garden, it was cold and Louis was smoking, Harry was behind him without uttering a single word, then Louis heard him coughing. Louis stopped walking and looked behind him, he glared at Harry “what are you doing? “

Harry shrugged “just checking on you”

Louis walked away “leave me alone”

“your mom is watching, don’t forget I am your boyfriend “

Louis huffed “god, you are too annoying “ he walked again and Harry followed him “I am just trying to help”

Louis looked at him “you can help me by leaving me the fuck alone.. “

Harry sighed “Louis.. You don’t have to be angry, just talk to her”

Louis was furious now, it was like Harry pressed the right button, he snapped “who do you think you are? “  
“I am only saying that you should talk to your sister, you should – “

“don’t “ Louis yelled and walked closer to Harry so Harry stepped back “don’t you dare tell me what to do with my family, don’t you ever forget your boundaries. You are here for a fucking job, nothing else nothing more”

Harry looked down and shook his head in defeat “God, you don’t have to be a prik every time you get angry” he took few steps away and left him by himself. 

****** 

When Louis entered the room, Harry was on the couch and the laptop was above him, he did not even look at Louis, but he slowly closed his laptop. Louis looked at him “ my friends are coming”

Harry looked at him frowning “ friends? “

Louis sighed “my old mates, mom told them I am here so they came to say hi”

Harry nodded “do I need to know anything about them? “

Louis shrugged “Oli and Stan. Been friends since school, don’t worry we are barley talking so you don’t have to study them or anything “

Harry nodded “so you want me to meet them? “

Louis looked at him like he was stupid “of course I want you to meet them, we are a couple. I am waiting down stairs, they will be here in minutes”

Harry nodded, Louis said before leaving the room “and please, be normal”

****** 

When Harry walked down stairs Louis’ friends were already there, two lads looking good, they were laughing with Louis 

When Louis noticed him “come on darling”

And Harry walked to them, he wrapped Harry and said “lads this is my boyfriend, Harry Styles”

Harry smiled and extended his hand, first one shook his hand was Stan, he greeted him warmly and introduced himself, while the other one looked at him up and down and tried to smile 

“Louis had told me about you”

Oli frowned “he did? That’s weird he never mentioned you”

Stan said “that’s because we lost communication somehow. Where are you from Harry? “

Harry tried to keep his smile “Cheshire”

Stan smiled “you are very welcome here “

“thank you so much”

Louis then was called by his mom, he excused himself.  
Oli looked at Harry again and asked “well, how long have you been together? “

Harry answered “about six months”

“wow. Six. It took him six months to finally introduce you to the family”

Harry nodded, he was laughing internally cause what was that, but he said “yeah, we wanted to take it slow”

“does not sound like Louis, he is so spontaneous “

“maybe he has changed, I mean he told me he hadn’t talked to your for ages”

Oli got angry “we are friends. Maybe we don’t see each other but we are still friends “

“okay man, chill” Stan was the one who talked. 

Louis returned to them, he looked between them and asked “are you guys okay? “

Harry looked at him with big smile “yes, sure”

“Nick says hi” oli suddenly said 

Lucas and Louis looked at him, Louis tensed and Harry noticed that , Oli finished “ I met him the other day and he asked bout you”

Louis took a deep breath “I don’t want to hear anything about him”

Oli shrugged “I thought you should know”

“why? “

“I think he misses you” 

Louis rolled his eyes “oh God. I have a boyfriend.. He is right here, how are you thinking? “

Oli looked at Harry “if he knows that you love him he won’t be bothered hearing about Nick”

“ oli, shut up” it was Stan. Harry actually giggled, he put his hand on Louis’s shoulder “it is okay, I don’t mind. I know all about Nick “

Oli looked at Harry with fire in his eyes “so you know they were engaged”

Harry tensed but he kept his smile and nodded his head, Louis was looking down, he was trapped in his mind, he felt Harry tensing and he looked at Oli “can we please stop talking about Nick”

Then Harry’s phone went off, he put it out of his pocket and he looked at it, and he frowned. Louis saw the ID caller, Sam. 

Stan asked “everything okay? “

It was when Louis noticed how restless Harry looked, Harry looked between them and put his lovely fake smile “I have to take this”

And he walked away. 

Stan said to Oli “what were you thinking? Mentioning Nick while Harry is here”

Oli was looking at Louis “I am sorry Lou. I just… I mean we don’t know anything about Harry, and when I saw him I just remembered Nick”

Louis shook his head in disbelief “Oli, if you mentioned Nick again I swear to God I – “

“” okay, okay”

When Harry returned again, he seemed off, it was like for the first time he looked struggling to keep his act. 

Oli didn’t stop teasing him and Louis noticed how clearly oli didn’t like Harry. At least someone didn’t like Harry and Louis actually didn’t try to do anything. 

He couldn’t deny how he was concerned about Harry though, Harry was a good actor and after the phone call he just changed, he looked weak and hurt, he looked sad and Louis caught his eyes glassy. 

Oli said something rude and Harry excused himself, Louis followed him but Harry assured it was nothing, he told him he promised the kids to play with them so he did. 

For the rest of the night Harry didn’t show up again, the boys left and Louis finally felt comfortable, he walked to the terrace, it was a little cold but he enjoyed the calmness. he was alone so he put out a cigarette to smoke. 

“I thought you quit” Jay said from behind. 

He looked at her and smiled “I did, but I relapsed two years ago”

She walked and hugged his hand, she rested her head on his shoulder “how are the boys? “

Louis chuckled “you didn’t have to tell them I was coming”

She looked at him “they were missing you, and I am sure you miss them too”

He nodded and looked in front again, she sighed “have you talked to Lottie? “

He shook his head “I thought I would give her some time. She is angry and I think I deserve this”

She rested her head back again “I need to know that you are all together, I need you to stick together”

He patted her hand because this words hurt. He then kissed her forehead “I will fix everything. I promise “

She smiled and played with his hair “I know you will boobear, now we need to sleep. I am sure you are tired”

“I will.. “

“OK, I am gonna ago and put the kids in bed”

Louis took her hand “no, let me. I miss them so much”

******  
Louis opened the door for the younger twins room. It was not too dark, but he could see that they were drawing, he knew they were sleeping since the place was too quiet, then he walked to the beds, and he saw something that melted his heart. 

They were sleeping and Harry was in between. Also sleeping, a book in his lab so obviously he slept while reading them a bed time story. 

Louis watched how they were hugging Harry, how happy they looked. Then he noticed that Harry had hair pins in his hair, he giggled because he knew it was Doris’ work. He walked closer and he carried Earnest and he put him on his bed, he was going to cover him when he found a paper in his hand, he took it and it was a drawing Earnest did for the whole family, including Harry. 

Louis covered him and he didn’t know what or how to feel exactly, he hated Harry for this but he knew Harry didn’t do anything wrong, if he faked a gentle talk with his mom and sisters he couldn’t fake his caring for the kids, he truly cared for them. 

“sorry I slept “ Harry with a scratchy voice said  
He covered Doris and he put the book on the nightstand. 

Harry looked at Louis and Louis was watching him, he was trying to read this man. 

“your hair”

Harry frowned, but Louis walked closer and took off the hair pins, Harry smiled “Doris wanted me to look pretty” then he raised his hands “she put me nail polish… I like it”

Louis cought himself staring, because Harry looked gorgeous in this dim light, he looked relaxed and comfortable. 

“did you friends leave? “

Louis nodded “they did yes.. Listen about Oli.. I don’t know what was with him”

Harry sighed “he is jealous “

Louis frowned “what? “

“is he gay or something? “

Louis shook his head “no”

Harry smiled and fixed his hear “oh he is, he is very gay I can sense that. He was trying to win you or something. He hated me the minute he saw my face”

Louis shook his head although he believed Harry, he always felt Oli was different with him. 

“the kids love you” together they walked to their room. Louis closed the door behind him “I mean.. I have never seen them this way towards strangers”

Harry was fixing the couch to sleep, he sighed “I can’t let the kids hate me Louis, I mean they are just kids”

Louis looked at him and he was shocked “oh, no.. I.. I don’t want the kids hate you. I said I wanted you to be good with kids, you keep your role perfectly “

Harry was playing with a yarn came from the cover, he murmured “it’s not just the role”, then he looked at Louis “I mean.. Your family is really great. You are very lucky”

Louis smiled and nodded “thanks"

“can I ask you something though? “

Louis walked to the dressing “sure”

“when you end this… can you not make me the monster. I don’t want them to hate me”

Louis took his pajama and giggled, he heard Harry walking in the dressing “Don’t worry”

Harry then looked at him “I don’t know how will you do it. You still can kill me though”

Louis looked at him “no one is dying Harry”

Harry shrugged and took his pajama “everyone dies”

“Well not you, I mean not my boyfriend “ he couldn’t believe Harry said that again. 

Harry sighed and looked down 

Louis finally said “we will talk about it when we come back. Don’t worry you will still be a good man”

Harry smiled and walked to the bathroom. 

Louis changed his clothes and he collapsed on the bed. He wondered what took Harry this long, and why was he changing his clothes in the bathroom but why should he care anyway. 

Harry walked out of the bathroom, he lied on the couch, he opened his laptop 

Louis frowned “aren’t you sleeping? “

Harry nodded “I will… just checking on something “

Louis finally sighed " about this morning with Lottie.."  
Harry said "don't say anything, you were right, I should know my boundaries" 

Louis sighed "I shouldn't yell at you anyway"  
"it is okay" 

Louis nodded, okay that was easy “do you want the light? “

“nope”

So Louis tuned the light off with the remote, but he heard Harry chuckling. 

“what! “

“nothing “

“get some sleep Harry, you need it”

Harry didn’t talk, but before Louis close his Eyes Harry asked “so you were engaged? “

Louis sighed, because he knew that was coming “I don’t want to talk about it”

“we don’t have too, but don’t you think at least I should know about it? “

“maybe” Louis was closing his eyes 

“should I know anything else? “

Louis huffed “no, we were engaged and broke up, that’s it”

Harry kept silent for few seconds then Louis said “good night Harry”

“good night Louis”


	5. Chapter 5

It was headache that wake Louis up. His head was killing him. He opened his eyes and at the first moment he didn’t realize where he was. Slowly it hit him, he was back home for his cousin wedding or for his mom to be honest, he was with his fake boyfriend Who Louis started to feel something in his heart for him but he still didn’t know what.

“Harry” Louis called, but no one answered 

“Harry? “ he called again, then he sat on the bed and looked at the couch, it was empty, clean and empty. His heart raced, where the hell was Harry. 

Louis ran downstairs after taking his morning shower in a second. He was still exhausted but he needed to find Harry. 

“morning sleepy head” his mom called while Louis was heading outside to the garden because he couldn’t find Harry anywhere inside. 

Louis turned and looked at her “morning mom”

She walked closer to him “are you okay? You look strained? “

He sighed “ my head hurts a little bit”

She took his hands and walked to the kitchen “come on, you need your coffee, Harry is outside with the girls. It is sunny today so He is photo shooting them”  
And what!!!! 

Louis had to follow his mom, once he entered the kitchen he smelled the lovely smell of vanilla, he smiled widely and took a deep breath 

“oh mom, I miss your breakfast”

She giggled and asked the servant to pour him some coffee while they sat on the table. His mom always loved to have breakfast in her big kitchen, just like the old days. 

She made him a plate of the pancake and she put it in front of him, Louis immediately took a big bite

“Harry made them in the morning “ his mom said 

Louis froze, Harry did what? And now was doing what?  
She giggled “yeah, he fed us this morning “

Louis looked at his watch and it was afternoon.  
He tried to swallow and take a big sip of his coffee, he wanted to finish his breakfast like now and run to see Harry. 

*****  
Louis saw Harry and the girls, lottie was taking pauses while Harry was taking photos, how the hell he got that camera. The twins were on the ground watching, while the kids were running and calling Harry’s name to gain his attention. Then the kids noticed him and ran to him calling his name. 

Harry looked at louis and called “finally you are awake”

Louis tried to smile, the twins said “come on Lou, join us, Harry is a great photographer “

Lottie ignored Louis and walked to Harry who was showing her the photos in the camera. 

Daisy said “Harry, take a photo of the family, can you sit the camera so we you can be in it”

Harry looked at Louis asking for permission but Louis was smiling at his little brothers, they seemed excited and they were jumping. 

Harry said “I don’t know, I don’t look good in photos”

Louis looked at Harry, and Phoebe snorted “yeah, right. I am gonna call mom. Sit the camera Hazza”

So Harry told them about the nickname. 

Lottie was still looking at the camera and Daisy was fixing the twin clothes and hair 

“you brought a camera... Hazza? You told them the nickname"

Harry giggled “I am a photographer, of course I brought my camera... Lou”

Louis shook his head in disbelief 

“are you okay with this? “ Harry whispered to Louis, Louis looks at him, Harry added “I can give any excuse “

Louis didn’t expect Harry to ask this, but he saw how anxious Harry looked so he smiled “it just a photo Harry”

Harry slightly nodded, then they heard lottie asking “ when can I get them Harry? “

Harry walked to her “I will try to finish editing before the wedding”

She laughed “take your time, you will be taking photo for us as long as you are here, they will be millions “

“I will gladly do this”

Jay came and Harry fixed the camera, they took a very lovely and beautiful one. When Louis looked at it his heart really ached and for a second he wished it was true. He wished he had a boyfriend who he could take him home for holidays, he wished he could be happy just the way he pretended in the photo. 

After couple more photographs, the girls called it off, and they all headed to drink some tea. 

Jay was telling embarrassing stories about Louis, Harry was laughing his heart and Louis couldn’t help ,he laughed at Harry’s laugh. 

“oh my god, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this”Harry said looking at Louis. 

Jay said “of course he wouldn’t. He wish that I can forget them all"

Louis laughed “I can’t tell my boyfriend when I lost my pants at kindergarten mom, or when I forget taking my twins from school, what kind of an example that would make me”

Harry smiled softly and patted his thigh “it still makes you the best boyfriend who lost his pants “ then he giggled, so as the girls 

Jay said still laughing “ next time I will tell you about his first date” 

Louis rolled his eyes “mom! “

Harry laughed again, mom laughed too “you didn’t tell me how did you meet? “

Harry said “at a café” while Louis said “at work”

then silence, Harry shook his head, and looked at them “he always forget that, we met at the café first we had coffee together, I can tell he was already checking me on so I made the first move. And then when we were in the location.. Paam I am the one who is taking the photos while he is the director “

Louis was listening nervously, Harry ruined it. That not what he wrote, he was sure, they met at the location first then at the café. He was sure. 

Daisy shook her head “how can you forget Louis? “

Louis tried to smile “I don’t know.. It always works otherwise in my mind Hazza” he looked at Harry angrily, but Harry ignored him. And then Jay asked the twins something and Louis was grateful for changing the topic. 

*******

“No , Louis. I am sure it was the café first “ Harry said pressing his eyes wity his fingers sitting on the couch . They were in their rooms and Louis was angry and yelling at Harry for mistaking. 

Louis huffed “I know what I wrote Harry”

Harry looked at him “and I know what I read, okay”

Louis groaned “for God sake, can’t you spend an hour without making a mistake. How hard could it be? “

Harry sighed, he walked to his bag and he brought the files, he opened the page where Louis wrote how did they meet and he gave them to Louis “here”

Louis Read them and Harry was right, Louis frowned because he thought he write something different. 

“so far I am doing my job perfectly, maybe you should read those files you wrote before put all your anger on me”

Louis didn’t talk. Harry walked to his bag again and he took his medicine, Louis was watching him but he didn’t talk. He wanted to know what was that. 

Harry walked to the bathroom and Louis couldn’t stop himself from seeing what Harry is taking. 

He opened his bag and there was three medicine bottles, and then an inhaler. He took the bottles and saw the prescription, he was shocked. 

Mixed opioids, morphine, and Xanax.

Louis didn’t know what exactly those were used for but he knew how people can be addicted to morphine and xanax. Was Harry and addict? 

*****  
The dinner went smoothly, again Harry wins everyone’s heart, he said the right words and did the right things, he helped everyone including the servants, Louis heard them whispering talking about how charming Mr Styles and how Lucky Mr Tomlinson was to have him. 

Louis felt different this time. Maybe he shouldn’t let them hate Harry, maybe he could enjoy his success, enjoy making everyone happy by his choice. 

Harry also seemed enjoying the people around him, he seemed honest and sincere, he looked real. But Louis knew it was all an act, and at the end of the day Harry was not himself, he was doing the role Louis gave him and again Louis started to hate Harry, or maybe tried to. 

Harry avoided talking to Louis the whole time and that made his blood boiling in his veins, so when he saw him talking to his mom after dinner, she looked so relaxed and happy, he got extremely angry and he interrupted what Harry was saying

“Harry, did you forget the business phone call you told me about? “

Harry and Jay looked at him, Harry asked “what? “

Louis rolled his eyes “the phone call, you told me about”

Harry’s face suddenly faded “oh!! Oh, right. The phone call”

He stood up, and looked at Jay “catch you later then. It is gonna be a long phone call, and I am tired anyway, I guess I will sleep right away”

She stood up and hugged him “ I am always around. Good night sweaty”

Harry kissed Louis on his check, it was fast and also looked normal “Night, Lou” but he did not look at him, he didn’t care to look at him. 

Harry was angry and Louis didn’t care at all, or that what he thought. 

*****  
Louis returned to his room an hour later. Harry was sleeping, he called his name but he didn’t answer. 

Louis sighed because he wanted to explain to Harry what happened earlier, he wanted to tell him about tomorrow, and how it is an important day since Harry was going to meet his whole family, he wanted also to apologize to him for maybe everything. Maybe later. 

Louis was too nervous to meet the family, last time they met it was his engagement party which lasted only for three months. Louis hated gathering, he hated how people seemed nice but their hearts were fake. He hated how they could be a pain in the ass sometimes. 

Harry was beside him while Louis was driving, he didn’t talk, he didn’t look at him. 

“are you gonna do this for long? “ Louis asked, “we are meeting my family, so.. “

Harry looked at him “don’t worry about it”

Louis nodded, then Harry said “I just don’t know why you hate me”

Louis frowned “ I don’t hate you, I get angry easily, I am so nervous but I don't hate you”

Harry shook his head and looked through the window and didn’t talk again. 

*****  
Louis grandpa hugged Harry so tight, he was sincerely happy to meet him. And Louis could tell that his mother told him all about Harry. 

His grandpa gave him a tight hug to, he missed Louis and Louis missed the old man. He just cupped his face and said “I am glad you are here”

Then he hugged every member of the family and said “let’s get inside, they are all waiting “

If Johanna house was big, this was huge it looked like a castle, Harry tried not to sound shocked but he couldn’t stop himself from staring. Everything was luxury, perfect. Everything was antique, ancient and amazing. 

The place was crowded, people were everywhere, he learnt that the grandpa collected all the guests to stay for the three days till the wedding. It sounded amazing but exhausting for Harry and Louis. 

Louis took Harry’s hand and introduced him to lots and lots of people. They all were welcoming and all were generous. Louis was trying his best to give Harry a couple of info about everyone Harry met, he knew how smart Harry was and he knew he would be able to memorize. 

“here comes the groom” Louis said hugging a young man. He looked extremely happy and the bride was also so happy. 

“congratulations Tom, I am so happy for you” 

Tom the groom smiled “thank you Louis. I heard that you are next”

Louis gave a fake laugh “this is Harry, my boyfriend “

Harry stretched his hand for handshake while Louis hugged the bride. 

Tom smiled widely “ I am so happy you could come”

Harry smiled back “ of course, I am so happy I am here”

Then Harry looked at the bride and said “congratulations “

The bride smiled back at him “thanks”

Tom said “he is a photographer Abby, you can try him as much as you can, Jay said he is amazing “

Harry blushed and answered honestly “I would be honored”

Tom laughed “ you will be trapped, all the girls will ask for photos”

Harry giggled “it is really okay, I love taking photos”

Louis was watching Harry, he looked sincere, he was enjoying taking photos Louis saw that, but he never asked how or why did he learn to do so. No personal question, right? 

“oh, here you are “ a man said from behind 

Louis smiled wide and he hugged the man “Ben. I miss you”

Harry was watching with Big eyes so Tom said “Ben is my older brother, he is like a brother to Louis”

Harry nodded his head and kept looking at them, then Ben looked at Harry “so this is Harry everyone keep talking about”

Harry tried to smile, Louis laughed “in flesh. But don’t scare him, I am sure everyone is gonna like him”

Ben hand shook Harry “we are happy, you are here with us”

Harry was still restless even Louis noticed “thanks”

Ben narrowed his eyes “have we met before? “

Louis laughed “I don’t think so, he is not a doctor he is a photographer, so never happened “

Harry didn’t try to talk, Ben nodded his head and put looked at Louis “how is work? “

Louis sighed “good, doing good”

“ how come you never visited me Louis? We are like one hour apart, I want to catch up with you. Bring your boy and visit “

Louis nodded “will do, yeah will do”, then Louis saw someone was watching them, he raised his glass and smirked at them. 

Ben said something and then excused so did the groom and his bride. Harry looked at Louis and he was going to ask “are you-“

“here you are” 

A man said walking towards them, tall, brown hair, wide brown eyes. His eyes looked scary and he was checking Harry up and down. He smirked again and looked at Louis “hello sunshine”

Louis was tensed, Harry noticed that he struggled to keep calm “don’t call me that”

The man chuckled teasing “alright, alright, hello Mr Tomlinson “

“what do you want Grimshaw. Why are you here? “

“I heard the rumor, I came to check it with my eyes”

“what rumor? “

Grimshaw looked at Harry again and gave a sided smile “your boyfriend is hot, where did you get him? “

Louis groaned, he took Harry’s hand and he was going to walk away, but the man said “okay, okay, I will behave. But seriously.. I came to see you”

Louis looked at him “are you fucking serious now, Nick? “

And Harry snapped his head up, okay that was Nick, louis’ ex

The man shrugged “ I didn’t know you have a boyfriend “

Louis squeezed Harry’s hand “you know anything about me? “

“I know a lot” then he took a gulp of his drink “having a boyfriend is not one of them”

Louis shook his head in disbelief, Harry finally said while pushing Louis away “let’s go Lou”

Nick said louder “okay, fine. I was invited”

“no, you are not”

Nick rolled his eyes “I am. I am Abbey’s cousin. Ask your sisters”

Louis took a deep breath, he then looked at Nick, Nick smiled and raised his hand “I came in peace. I just wanted to say hi. I am sorry about what happened now. I was just… “ he looked at Harry again and then at Louis, and he smiled “ i will behave. I won’t bother you. Let’s act clean”

Louis sighed “whatever” and he took Harry’s hand again and walked away. 

Harry stopped Louis and he looked at him, Louis narrowed his eyes, Harry said “just don’t stop me”

Then he smiled and kissed Louis. Louis was taken back but Harry whispered “keep playing, he is watching “ 

Louis didn’t know how he did it, but he kissed back, he kissed back and it felt absolutely amazing.

“and.. He is gone” Harry pulled away, he winked “you are welcome”

“you didn’t have to” Louis almost gasped 

Harry took his hand and said “he was watching, I needed to give him something to anger him”

Louis sighed “he won’t “

“he is. Of course, he is. Trust me” then he looked at Louis “now, if you don’t mind. I need to go to our room”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me how is it so far?
> 
> A lot to come, Harry hides secrets and pain, and Louis started to feel something different for him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but intense

Harry was talking to Louis’ grandpa after dinner, the dinner went peacefully thanks God, it was all about the bride and the groom, there were a lot of people. Alot of side conversations and Louis was still thinking about the kiss, he knew it didn’t mean anything but why in his mind he wished it did. 

He was looking at Harry ,and for a minute he loved to imagine they were a couple, Harry was talking freely to his family, telling them stories they shared. Maybe he was over thinking because next thing he did was taking Harry’s hand and intertwined their fingers together. 

Harry didn’t flinch, he talked normally like it was the normal thing they used to do. Louis was looking at their hands together, he then looked at Harry who was smiling secretly. 

“you are a lucky man Harry, Louis is the best” grandpa said 

Harry looked at Louis with a sincere smile “I know that, I know I am lucky having him in my life”

And Louis wished that was true, Harry then looked at the grandpa “I am just happy I’m finally a part of this family, I know how much Louis loves you, and I love every single member of you by the way he talks about you all the time, and I am glad I finally got the chance to meet you all”

Grandpa smiled and patted Harry’s shoulder “you are so good Harry I can see it, you have a good heart. I hope that love between you would last forever. You deserve all the best, both of you. And Harry you are too welcome any time you want, remember our arms are open for you”

Harry put his hand on his heart “oh, thank you” then he embraced him. Grandpa pa patted Louis’ shoulder and walked away. 

Harry looked at him with concern “are you okay? “

Louis was confused, then Harry looked at their hands and asked “is Nick still around? “

And Louis got it. Okay that was awkward, they don’t touch unless there was someone watching  
“do you want another kiss? “ 

And God yes. 

Harry asked trying to look around without being caught. Louis finally sighed “no, Nick is not around, I don’t know where he is. I just.. Tried to be normal around grandpa. I want him to know I am happy”

Harry frowned “but you are happy, right? You don’t need a boyfriend to be happy”

Louis finally took his hand away, and he regretted it already “yeah, yeah you are really right. But before I left.. I was too heartbroken. I guess I made everyone worried about me without noticing. Maybe that’s why they look happy seeing me with someone “

Harry nodded “ you broke up with Nick? “

Louis chuckled “he broke up with me. I guess I wasn’t enough.. “

“haaay.. It is his loss. Obviously, his loss. I mean come on. I can’t picture you and him together. He is a douchbag for God sake, what were you thinking? “ he was giggling and Louis for the first time noticed this dimples 

Louis smiled too wide “I don’t know, but he is not that bad”

“he is not? “

Louis shook his head “no, no.. I was just not too secured about my decisions back then. Maybe I was too much”

Harry narrowed his eyes “are you telling me that it was your fault? “

Louis shook his head “no, not my fault.. But maybe i was one of the reasons”

Harry shook his head “ there is no reason for cheating”

Then Harry looked at something behind Louis “I guess your cousins want you”

Louis turned his back and looked at Ben and Tom waving for them, he waved back 

Harry said “may I not come? “

Louis looked at him “why not? “

Harry shrugged “ they will ask questions, sometimes I feel they are investigating me.. I need a rest” he was giggling /> Louis laughed too “what will you do? “

“I guess I will look for my friends”

“friends? “

“Doris and Ernest. They are my only friends here”

Louis laughed hard “okay, go ahead, have your rest”

Harry nodded and was walking away “see you later “  
******* 

When later came, Louis found Harry with Lottie. He lost time with his friends and when he looked for the kids they were sleeping, so he looked for him and found him with Lottie.

Harry and lottie were sitting at the garden. It was cold. He was talking and she was listening carefully. 

When he walked closer, Harry noticed him, he smiled and waved for him “we were just talking about you”

Louis looked between them “you were? “

Lottie nodded and she looked at him “ he explained to me, I am sorry I snapped at you”

Louis looked at Harry and he was looking down, she added “I mean I was so angry at you. But I know that you love us. I know that I should have told you. It was my mistake too”

He smiled and he just hugged her “you are all that matters to me”

She smiled and wiped her tears, he sighed “he doesn’t deserve you”

She tried to smile, he kissed her forehead. 

Someone called Lottie and she hugged her brother, then she looked at Harry and hugged him too. Then she walked away. 

Louis looked at him “what was that? “

Harry looked at him with big eyes “I didn’t ask her to hug me.. “

“no, you idiot.. She is talking to me again”

“of course she is. She loves you”

Louis sighed and sat beside Harry “ what did you do? “

Harry shook his head “nothing, I just told her how a brother loves his siblings, how he worried about them and only wishes them the best”

Louis looked at him and nodded “I want the best for them”

“I know. I told her that”

Then they both kept silent. 

Louis finally said “thanks Harry, for everything.. “

Harry shook his head “it’s nothing “

“thank you though. I mean I didn’t realize how hard this is until we reached here. I know it is like a job for you but.. I am glad it is you who plays my boyfriend “

Harry smiled wide “thank you, I am glad I got the honor to be your boyfriend “

Louis sighed “ I am sorry for being a twat before”

“it is okay, I understand how nervous you are”

Then he rubbed his hands together and said “I am too cold and I need to wee”

Louis giggled “a way to break a moment Hazza”

Harry was giggling “I can’t hold it”

Louis laughed “then go”

Harry stood up and ran inside. Louis was watching him and he started to think, what if he could be his boyfriend one day. What if he wanted this fake act to be true

“thanks God this whore is not your boyfriend “ 

Louis startled and jumped from his seat, Nick was walking towards him from behind the tree, a glass in his hand and a smirk on his mouth

“I mean. For a minute I could have believed it, the way you kissed, the way you touched. But come on, a prostitute! Really Louis?! Why? “

Louis was shocked, he didn’t understand what Nick was talking about “what are you saying? “

The smirk faded and Nick looked serious “please tell me you know he is a prostitute. The one and only Harry Styles. He works in That gay bar… I can’t remember the name.. Oh the black night “

Louis looked down unable to believe what he just heard, but it explained a lot. The rules Harry put, no personal questions rule, the medics he was taking, now he was sure Harry was an addict, he couldn’t believe Zayn would do such a thing to him. He brought an addict whore to the family 

“what were you thinking? Why did you do that? If you were desperately wanting a boyfriend I could have helped”

“shut up nick. I am doing this for mom. Ever since us.. And she is so worried about me.”

“it has been years” Nick walked closer “I have changed, I asked for a second chance”

Louis was looking down, still trying to adjust what he heard, he snorted and looked at Nick “don’t tell mom. Please.. I don’t want to add anything on her shoulders now"

Nick nodded understanding. He put his hand on Louis’ shoulder “I am here if you need any help”

Louis thought what kind of help he could possibly ask Nick!!, but he nodded anyway, cause right now he wanted to fucking murder Harry.

*****  
Louis rushed inside the Palace. He looked for Harry and he finally found him with his mother. 

“I was coming for you” Harry said flashing his biggest smile 

Louis didn’t smile back and Harry figured there was something wrong  
“me too”

Jay said “ well, you found each other. Don’t let me interrupt anything “

Harry tried to smile while Louis was glaring at Harry. Harry walked to Louis “what’s wrong”

“in our room” then he took Harry’s hand and pulled him roughly, thanks God no one noticed, but Harry was losing his mind. 

Once they were in their room, Louis pushed Harry inside and closed the door

“what happened? What did I do? “ Harry asked with trembling voice. 

“the black night” Louis said watching Harry 

Harry gasped, but he didn’t talk 

“you are working there? “

“no, I am not”

Louis yelled “don’t you fucking dare lie to me. It is a fucking gay club and you work there”

“no, I was.. But not now” Harry was so nervous 

Louis yelled again “oh my God” 

He started pacing the room yelling “I brought a fucking addict whore to my family, oh my God what was I thinking? “

Harry frowned “I am not a whore”

Louis looked at him “really?! Cause you exactly look like one-“

“I am not-"

“I don’t want you near my sisters. Or the kids”

“listen to me-“ Harry tried with a shaking voice 

“no, I won’t fucking listen to a whore”

“I am not a whore. I used to wo-“

“shut the fuck up.” He walked closer and again Harry took a step back “from now on. I don’t want you near anyone. I don’t want to see you near my family. Do you hear me. I can pay extra for this since this how it works with you”

“I was only a bartender” Harry said looking hurt he looked down because he was ashamed enoughto look at Louis 

“ I don’t fucking believe, and I don’t fucking care. You will make my family hate you. I don’t want them to love a prostitute like you, you can make them hate you just the same way you win their hearts. It is not real anyway, it is a mask you put to hide your shameful ugly truth. So no more contact with them Harry. And I will figure out how to fix this” Harry was looking down, he didn’t raise his head to look at him. 

Then Louis stormed outside the door and slammed the door after him. 

Louis was hit by the groom himself, Tom smiled “okay, there? “

Louis huffed “I need a cigarette “  
*****  
It took Louis two hours to finally calm down and come back to his room he shared with Harry. He found Harry on the couch, his face facing the back of the couch, he didn’t care but he saw Harry’s inhaler lying beside him. He wondered if Harry had an attack or it was a fake thing too. He walked to the bathroom. And when he returned he saw Harry’s shoulder was shaking. He thought Harry was sleeping but he wasn’t. Harry was actually crying. 

Louis tried to act like he didn’t care, Harry lied to him, Harry was a whore he told himself. Louis lied on his bed and covered his body, but he heard sniffles coming from Harry. He closed his eyes and put a pillow on his face. He didn’t want to hear Harry crying. He didn’t want to believe it anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

Louis couldn’t sleep well last night, not even when the sniffles stopped and Harry’s breathing became longer and deeper. He was blaming himself, he was not a bad person, he never judged anyone so why did he judge Harry? 

Maybe he wasn’t okay with selling yourself for money but who was he to judge people? Harry never hurt him, if anything Harry was a great help. 

He sighed when the clock said it was eight in the morning. He left his bed and he walked to Harry’s couch to wake him up. 

He sat beside him and shook his shoulder “wake up Harry”

Harry slightly moved, he opened his eyes and they were puffed and red, and once they saw Louis they turned hurt again, guilt rushed through Louis’s chest right away 

“we need to wake up for breakfast “ Louis said 

Harry nodded, he squeezed his eyes with his fingers and said “we need to talk first” 

Then he sat on the couch and Louis didn’t leave his side 

“I am not a prostitute-“ he started 

“Harry, listen.. Who I am to judge? You can be who ever you want”

“but I am not”

“it is okay if you are, I am not against you, I am not against anything like this. But I was shocked I mean you never told me this, you never told me anything about you, and I am not even allowed to ask questions.. I was angry when I knew the info.. But I was not supposed to be angry”

Harry was watching him talking, his face didn’t rest or anything, he was still hurt and sad 

“I worked only as a bartender, I needed the money, I was working in the morning as a barista, and it was the only job available at night ”

“Harry, you don’t have to tell me”

Harry said with a trembling voice, like he didn’t hear Louis “ I only worked for six months. Then I met my boyfriend and he took me away”

Boyfriend!!! 

How could Louis forget about the boyfriend? For a second he thought he could have a chance with Harry, but again he remembered Harry was only here for a job, nothing could ever happen. 

Louis tried his best to remain the same. He was looking for Hart but the sad look stayed on his face  
“I never sold my body for the money, it is not how does it work for me”

Louis closed his eyes, those were his words from last night, he breathed deeply “I am sorry. I know I hurt you last night I am sorry. Is there anything i can do.. I don’t know-“ he groaned because Harry of course wouldn’t tell anything “never mind. Now let’s forget what happened last night, can we? “

Harry looked down and nodded

“good, I am glad we solved this”

Harry said without looking “your sisters and the bride asked me for a photo session, is that okay? “

Louis sighed sadly, because Harry didn’t change, he was still sad, he was still hurt and Louis didn’t know how to fix that 

“of course it is okay, you can do whatever you were doing, talking to my sisters, the kids… I told you to forget about last night”

Harry finally nodded, and he looked again at Louis “okay”

Then he left the couch and headed to the bathroom “Harry, were you okay last night? “ Louis asked looking at the inhaler. 

Harry finally smiled “it was nothing “

******  
Louis saw Harry was struggling to keep it during the breakfast, for the first time he felt how fake Harry was, everything was fake, the smile, the laugh, even keeping with a conversation sounded sad. 

After breakfast Harry was disappeared, not alone with the girls, so Louis knew the photo session started.  
He was going to look for them, when his name was called. Ben walked towards him 

“where are you going? “ Ben asked 

Louis sighed “I am looking for Harry”

Ben smiled “’ve seen him with the girls around the pool, he was taking photos”

Louis nodded “ he is a photographer "

Ben nodded “he is good” but Louis didn’t comment.  
“come on, let’s have some tea”

Louis had to follow Ben, he didn’t want any more comments about Harry. 

When he reached the table, Nick was there. He looked at Louis with a smile but Louis avoided him completely and sat beside Ben. 

Nick didn’t care, he took his cup of tea and walked to sit beside them 

Ben looked between them, then he looked at Louis  
Nick noticed of course, so he rolled his eyes “God, we fixed everything, you don’t have to make a big fuss”  
Ben shook his head and took a sip, his phone went off and he excused, he looked at Louis to see if it was okay, and Louis slowly nodded his head. 

Once Ben disappeared, Nick asked “ so what will you do? “

Louis narrowed his eyes “about what? “

“about that whore”

Louis said annoyed “can you please stop calling him that”

“what? He is a whore, it is not like he can deny it. Did he? “

Louis looked at him “no. And he wasn’t a whore. He was only a bartender. It is just you who love to make a deal of everything “

“he told you that? “

Louis groaned “listen Nick. Why do you care? If he is a whore or whatever he is. He is with me and I am okay with it”

Nick frowned “are you? “

Louis’ heart was beating fast, he knew that look, he knew that Nick wasn’t going to let this drop easily, so he tried again 

“put him out of your mind. Don’t bother him” he was nervous but he wanted Nick to leave them alone. 

Nick said while drinking “do as you like. I was trying to warn you”

“warn me from what? What can he do to me? He will never hurt me”

“he is a fucking whore. He sells his body for money”

Louis snapped “he is not” 

Nick stopped talking and he rested his back, he smirked “you like him”

Louis rolled his eyes “oh my God”

Then he left the table leaving his tea untouched. 

******  
When Louis found Harry, he was sitting on the ground, in front of him was Phoebe and he was braiding her hair. Lottie and the bride along with other girls were looking at the camera obviously checking their photos.  
The bride noticed Louis, she called his name and waved to him. Harry was watching Louis and Louis smiled to him. 

“your boyfriend is amazing, I love him, look at the photos he took us. I love them all”

Louis smiled widely “he is talented “

Abby sighed excitedly “so much. If I knew. I would not have brought a photographer for the wedding”

“hay leave my boyfriend alone. He needs to have fun”

Lottie laughed “he is. He loves what he does”

Louis rolled his eyes “fine.have you finished? “

Abby giggled “for now”

Then Doris came running to Louis “Louis… looks at my hair, Harry did this” her hair was braided beautifully 

Louis smiled wide “wow, look at you"

Doris giggled, and said excitedly “I know”

Then he walked to Harry holding Doris hand. Harry was still making Phoebe’s hair. 

Once she saw him “how does it look? “ 

Louis smiled “amazing”

She sighed “I wanna see Harry, come on”

Harry laughed “in a minute”

Then Daisy came also with fixed Hair, Louis saw him and said “oh my God, what did you do to my sisters”  
Harry giggled “they look beautiful “

Daisy said shaking her head proudly “we do.. Look at us”

Then Doris jumped and sat beside Harry, Harry was talking seriously to her tryingto teach her. 

Then Harry said “finished”

Phoebe jumped on her feet, Daisy “it is amazing, how did you learn that? “

Harry was still smiling wide “ my sister taught me”

And oops!!

Harry wasn’t supposed to have a sister, he was a lonely child 

“your sister? “ Daisy said 

Harry kept his smile “I mean my cousin, but I call her my sister, she used to live with us”

Phoebe was examining her hair through the cell phone camera “I love it” 

Harry was still keeping his smile, but he only nodded and looked down, Louis was going to ask if he was okay when one of the groom mates showed up “lads, we are playing football, let’s go”

Louis jumped on his feet, and helped Harry to stand up, Harry laughed “I am awful at football “

Louis shook his head “everyone plays football, you can’t be awful”

“I am awful. I stumble a lot and fall all the time. They used to call me with two left legs”

Louis laughed “come on, let’s have fun. My boyfriend is playing football”

They reached the play ground, and they started immediately to make teams. Harry was in Louis’ team, Louis was good at football and he was famous in his family. So the other team was expected to lose. 

Harry did fall a lot, trembled, he could barely run. Every time he falled he laughed hysterically, he didn’t know how to play football but he knew how to have fun. Their team was winning and he was celebrating like champions. When Louis was scoring, he was running to him and giving him hugs. When he finally scored one he ran to Louis and Louis carried him and ran and then they felled laughing hysterically. 

Louis was literally above Harry, Harry was still laughing and Louis didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to break the touch, Harry was laughing and still wrapping his hands around Louis. While Louis was just breathing Harry. 

“get a room” someone yelled and Harry moved his hand away, Louis missed the warmth right away. 

Finally Louis stood up and helped Harry. 

“I need to sit” Harry said trying to catch his breath  
He looked at Louis still smiling “can’t breath .. And I.. Scored a fucking.. Goal. I have never did that before”

Louis laughed although he was concerned “you do trip a lot though “

Harry breathed deeply “told you”

“you okay? “

Harry nodded “perfect, just need to sit”

Louis nodded “okay, go” then he looked at the boys “alright boys. Harry is having some rest"

He looked again at Harry “go”

Harry walked away and sat outside the field on the ground . He took a bottle of water and drank, still trying to catch his breath. 

“you play awful” someone said 

It was Nick, he was standing behind him smoking  
Then he walked and sat beside him, Harry felt restless immediately. 

“I scored a goal” Harry said 

Nick snorted, and puffed the smoke in Harry’s face “yeah, right”

Harry looked in front and didn’t talk.  
“I know who you are “

And Harry froze  
Nick added “I know all about you, I have been one of your clients “

Harry looked at him with narrowed brows “it was you, you told Louis I was a whore”

“but you are”

“I am not”

“you worked at a strip club”

“I was only a bartender”

Nick dragged again “it doesn’t matter”

“it does. You told Louis”

Nick looked at him and said “drop the act. I know you are fake. He told me so”

Harry didn’t talk 

Nick put the cigarette down “ you should leave, there is no place for people like you here. What do you think could happen when they know about you. Come on lad, save yourself the embarrassment and just fucking leave”

Harry tried his best not to get angry “I am not embarrassed, it was a job and I stopped now, so I am not embarrassed “

“you are not? You should. People like you should only be here for blowjobs or a lap dance-” Harry frowned and looked at him shocked, nick added “not as a member of the family. So don’t forget who you are”.  
“what do you want from me? “

"I know why you are here, I know you are after his money" 

"I am not" 

"oh please. Are you gonna tell me he didn't pay you for this?" 

Harry didn't talk 

Nick snorted "that's what I think" 

"I am not after his money" 

“I don't fucking care, I need you to leave”

“I am not leaving “

“no one wants you here” Nick snapped, “look around you, all these people who loves you now will be disgusted in a second when they know the real you”

Harry said weakly “this is the real me”

Nick gave a loud laugh, he saw Louis watching them from a distance, then he looked at Harry “ do you think louis respects you? He hired you for a job and once you return home, you will be nothing to him, you are nothing “

Then Harry said “you love him”

Nick raised a brow, Harry said “then why did you cheat? “

Nick suddenly got furious “like I am gonna tell a whore like you about my life”

“stop calling me that”

“but you a whore Harry, that what you really are. This.. The respect people are giving you here.. You just don’t deserve it, it is not for you, it is for Louis’ boyfriend who could never be you”

Then he left. 

Harry was still hurt when Louis returned back to him, he looked at him “you are okay? “

Harry looked at him “sure”

“ready for a walk?” Louis asked 

Harry nodded and Louis gave him a hand to stand up, Harry asked “how did it go? Did we win? “

“of course we did “

They started walking in the lovely gardens, the smell of the flowers was overwhelming, the weather was too good, but Harry was barely talking. 

“so, what did Nick tell you? “ Louis asked, he hated how Harry looked and how Harry was trying to hide the hurt he was feeling, he knew Nick and he knew Nick would try to hurt Harry as much as he could

Harry only shook his head “nothing important “

“come on, you looked uncomfortable “

“he makes me uncomfortable. He is so… I don’t know rude I guess”

Louis laughed “he is yeah.. So what did he tell you? “

Harry sighed “trust me, nothing important. He was just informing me that he knew I worked at that club. I thought Zayn was the one who told you”

Louis shook his head “no, Zayn trusts you so I didn’t ask questions, he didn’t tell me anything.. It came too fast”

Harry nodded “I am sorry about that, I didn’t want you to know it this way, I didn’t want you to know at all”  
Louis was watching Harry, he was again too sad, like he put his guards down. 

“it’s.. A part of who you are. I mean you can’t change the past, not like it was shameful or anything, I know I said words.. But I didn’t mean them-“

“Louis you already apologized, let’s not make it a big deal”

Louis nodded, but he wanted to know more, he wanted to know why he looked that sad again. 

“ so you have a sister? “ Louis said smiling 

Harry looks at him with big eyes “sorry about that, I didn’t mean to say it, it slipped “

“no, no, it’s okay.. You handled it perfectly ”

Harry only nodded and looked down, Louis sighed “ I know I shouldn’t ask you personal questions according to your rule.. But are you close? “ 

He wanted to know more about Harry, and he knew that it was somehow the right time, Harry was opening up and he was using the chance 

Harry giggled “you remember those rule? “

“how can I forget, Harry”

Harry shrugged “it is not like rules.. It is.. I have never done this before and I don’t know what was the right thing to do. So I.. Somehow tried to look professional or something “ he giggled 

Louis “professional?? don’t get me wrong but you were an ass”

Harry giggled hard “yeah… so were you”

Louis nodded “guess we were”

Harry took a deep breath, Louis looked at him “are you okay? Is it your asthma? “

Harry shook his head “ I am fine. It is okay”

They continued walking in silence for few minutes.  
“her name was Gemma. My sister. She was older than me. And yeah we were too close “

Was older, were close? 

Harry then sighed “when she was nineteen, she made an accident.. She died at the scene ”

Louis’ heart literally dropped, he looked at Harry and his eyes were glassy 

He shrugged “mom couldn’t take it, few weeks later she.. Got really sick.. They said it was cancer and it was always there but her mental state affected it badly. I don’t know how was it possible but they were the doctors’ words” he wiped his tears “so a year later, she died” 

“Harry I am so sorry” Louis said, and he wished he had more to say 

Harry stopped walking, he looked at Louis “ I know about your mom. I know she is sick, actually that’s why I am still here” he smiled “I wanted to leave and return  
the money when you almost attacked me first time”

Louis was looking at Harry guilty , Harry added “ no one told me, but it is all obvious. So, what is it? “

Louis nodded “she has leukemia”

“oh God! “

Louis nodded “yeah.. It is stable at the moment.. But I guess you know how this disease could progress really fast”

Harry only nodded, but tears formed again in his eyes.  
“she is okay now” Louis said maybe trying to calm Harry down. 

Harry nodded “yeah.. I am sorry. She is great mom. You are very lucky to have her in your life ,don’t waste your time away from her because you will regret it”

Louise a didn’t talk, they started walking again  
“when mom died, it was only me and my step dad, he was…. He wasn’t a good man and I had to run”

Louis frowned “how old were you? 

Harry sighed “I was sixteen I guess.. It was too hard for me. No money, no place to live.. Nothing. I tried everything.. Literally, and when I was nineteen everything was crashing around me, someone got me a place at this strip club. I had to work there I was desperately in need for money. I only worked there for six months “

Louis nodded “yeah.. Till your boyfriend met you there and saved you”

“not there. He met me at the cafe I worked in morning. he was still studying and I was.. A lost case, he took good care of me, introduced me to his friends, it's how I met Zayn. They both saved my life I guess if it wasn't for them I would have died. Zayn keeps saving me actually " then he chuckled sadly

Louis only nodded, he didn’t comment. He just enjoyed listening to Harry. 

“so I stopped working there and I kind of forget I was ever there it was five years ago”

Louis sighed, five years ago, it was the time when Nick was cheating on him. He was going to clubs where he slept with strangers and Louis had no idea. 

Harry then said “I need some rest. Can I go to the room? “

“sure yeah.. The lads are going to swim if you like? “

Harry narrowed his eyes “do I have to? “

“don’t avoid them again”

“I am not, but I am really tired. I think I need some sleep “

Louis smiled “okay, I will cover for you”  
******

When Louis returned from swimming two hours later, Harry wasn’t sleeping, he was in the dressing room dressing something, he was shirtless and he was wearing his shirt. But Louis saw something. 

He saw a scar across his chest. It was big, it was ugly and Louis felt it was painful. He didn’t know what to do, he was shocked and anxious. He faked a cough to represent his presence. And he said

“Harry, where are you? “

Harry said coming towards him from the dressing room “in here"

Louis couldn’t look at him, he pretended putting of his shirt, he headed to the bathroom “I thought you will be sleeping, you looked exhausted “

Harry followed him to the bathroom “no, I couldn’t sleep. I was coming for you actually “ Louis looked at Harry through the mirror, he looked tired, his face was pale and his eyes looked exhausted. 

Louis turned his body “are you okay? “

Harry smiled “sure”

Louis only nodded because he knew it was a new secret, because it meant Harry still didn’t trust him enough to tell him. 

“I will have a quick shower, they are waiting for us for the dinner”

Harry nodded “I will be waiting outside then. Take your time”

Louis closed the door after Harry, he was alone in the bathroom, he took a deep breath and he sighed. Maybe he was over reacting, but he would ask Zayn tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry was doing okay, although his tired face , and aching body but he was doing okay, until he got that phone call right before the dinner. He excused while he and Louis were talking to Louis’ uncle and he walked away. Louis of course noticed how did his face chang. He followed him by his eyes but the phone call took only two minutes. Harry then walked directly to the bathroom. 

Louis was struggling to focus with his family till Harry returned back, he seemed lost and his eyes were definitely red. Louis took his hand and looked at him 

“are you okay? “

Harry nodded but didn’t talk. Louis was going to ask but the dinner was served. 

Harry barely touched his food, he didn’t talk to anyone and he tried to look transparent as much as he could. The table was big and there were around thirty person other than him not to mention the kids, so it was easily for him not to interfere with any conversation. 

Louis was watching him from time to time, and he started to get worry. 

“aren’t you eating that? “ Louis asked looking at Harry’s plate 

Harry shook his head “I am sorry, I can’t… I am full”

“Harry you barely touched your food”

Harry shook his head but he didn’t talk. 

Ben then asked “I can’t stop thinking where did I see you before”

He was talking to Harry, Harry looked at him and tried his best to smile, he shrugged “ I would remember, trust me”

Ben shook his head “no, man.. Your face looks familiar”

Then Nick interfered “maybe at a night club”

Louis froze and Harry looked down, Ben looked at Nick “what are you talking about I don’t have time for night clubs”

Nick was eating normally “I said maybe” then he looked at Harry “ when did you start working as a photographer Harry? “

Harry looked at him, he was tired of Nick, his mind was somewhere else but he answered “two years ago”

“any work we recognize? “

Harry shook his head but Louis said “we are eating Nick, let’s talk about work later”. 

p

Nick rolled his eyes “I was trying to have a conversation with this doll here”

Harry snapped his head up, he looked at Nick with fire in his eyes, he was going to talk but his phone stopped him, it went off again and he looked at the phone and Louis saw the blood drained out of his face. at the start he didn’t move, Louis took a look at the phone and it was again Sam. 

Harry took the phone and excused to answer. 

Ben snapped at Nick “can’t you leave the lad alone. It is very obvious you are trying to annoy him”

Nick looked at Ben and said “I am not” he looked at Louis “you know I am not, I am just trying to remember where did I met him too”

Louis shook his head in disbelief.

Ben said again “stop being an ass for once Nick. Just try it, it might work with you”

Nick dropped his fork “and what does this mean? “

Louis groaned “guys. Let’s eat our dinner in peace”

Nick shook his head and stood up “I lost my appetite “

Then he walked away. 

Ben said under his breath “such an asshole” 

Louis heard him and he smiled, but he did not comment again.  
******  
Harry didn’t return to the table. When it took his so much, he walked to where Harry walked. But once he got closer he heard Nick yelling behind a corner “I said no Harry, God. Have some dignity” 

And then Nick showed he almost crash with Louis, he looked at him with big eyes 

“your fucking whore should leave now. “

Then Harry showed behind Nick, he looked distressed and his full body was trembling 

“what did you call me? “ Harry said 

Nick looked at Harry “ a fucking whore, cause that what you are”

Harry was going to attack Nick but Louis stopped him “no, Harry. Not here” 

Harry looked at him “he keeps calling me whore and I hate that”

“but you are” Nick yelled 

Louis turned to Nick “fucking leave him alone”

Nick was so angry “you don’t know what he just said to me”

Louis yelled “ just leave Nick.. Leave”

They started to make a scene so Nick walked away, Louis looked at Harry, he looked furious too, he was hyperventilating and his lips started to turn blue 

“Harry i-“ he took a step forward but Harry stepped back. He wasn’t looking at Louis, he was looking down “I need a minute” then he walked away almost running till he disappeared outside. 

Louis sighed, he looked at the people who was watching them and then he walked after Harry. 

*****  
Louis was smoking alone in the garden. He didn’t find Harry and he found it was the right thing to let him have his moment. 

There was something happening with him personally, not just Nick. 

“I am sorry” 

Louis took a deep breath, because the man who was in front of him was Nick. 

“leave me alone “

Nick didn’t, he just walked and sat beside him “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. But this whore w-“

“stop calling him that”

Nick looked at him and then he sighed “ he asked to give me a blowjob”

Louis snapped his head up “what the fuck! “

Nick shrugged “obviously he wanted money. I don’t know why.. But he asked me that. When I told him no he started to get closer and was touching me-“

Louis jumped on his feet because he didn’t want to hear anything more “shut up”

Nick stood up too “I am trying to warn you here”

“you are lying “

“am I? “

Louis shouted “yes. And that wouldn’t be a first. So stop talking about him”

Nick looked down, he nodded “okay, I know you don’t believe me. I know we had a bad history together. But it is still me. You are not going to trust a complete stranger. He needs to leave before it is too late”

Louis rolled his eyes “you are unbelievable “ he was leaving

“he will cause troubles. Thanks god he asked me not anyone else”

Louis returned “he is not what you are calling him, he didn’t ask you for a fucking blowjob so stop making things up”

“why would I make things up. He is a whore. It won’t be his first time”

Louis didn’t know what to believe, but he was still trying to defend Harry, although he started to doubt him “he was a bartender”

Nick nodded “yes, he was. He started as a bartender but he then worked as a rent boy. He was paid by hour, he was an addict and always was in need for the money. He stole money from a client and he was found and was beaten near death. Next day he was fired. I can call you more than four boys to say the same story, ”  
Louis suddenly felt cold. Okay everything nick said made an explanation. The scar he saw was from that fight maybe? 

Louis took a step back and then he walked away  
“at least pay attention to him” Nick said. 

*****  
Louis couldn’t face anyone after what he heard about Harry, his mind was going crazy, he wanted to ask Harry but he already told him he was a bartender, Louis told him it was okay if he worked anything. But what if it was the truth, what if he was asking Louis ‘ family and the guests for money? Paid sex? 

He tossed the cigarette away and took his phone, he called Zayn. 

“I have been trying to reach you” first thing Zayn said 

“’ve been busy “

“how is Harry? “

Louis huffed “I am actually calling because of Harry”

“what about him? Is he okay? “ Zayn sounded sincere 

“you know him, right? I mean you trust him? “

Zayn answered immediately “with my life”

Louis nodded “okay, why didn’t you tell me he used to work at a strip gay club? “

Zayn didn’t talk, Louis added “I mean I won’t judge, but it would have saved a lot”

“what happened?” Zayn asked 

Louis sighed “someone recognized him, he told me and… fuck Zayn was he whore? “

“no, never” then Zayn added “listen, the reason I didn’t tell because it will not matter. I mean it happened long time ago. And I am sure Harry doesn’t like to talk about this period of his life”

Louis said a little angry “I should know something like that Zayn”

“but why? He hates that time. He had done stuffs that he wants to forget “

“what does it mean? “

Zayn sighed “it is not my story to tell”

Louis groaned “he sold himself for money? Did he do that? is he a fucking addict cause his bag is filled with drugs. He asked a friend a blowjob… what the hell Zayn. Did you get me a fucking addict whore? “

Zayn finally talked “it’s not my story to tell”

Louis became furious “fucking hell” then he ended the call

******  
When Louis entered the room after midnight, Harry was sleeping. Beside him was his laptop just like every day. 

Louis looked at him and he didn’t know what to feel, he was angry because everything around him said that Harry was lying, but his heart told he Harry was not. He hated Harry more and now he wanted those left days to pass quickly so everything would return to normal again, so he could forget all about Harry. 

Next morning, Louis wake up and Harry was still sleeping. Louis walked to him and he tried to wake him up. Harry didn’t move. 

Louis let him and went to the bathroom, he took his shower and got ready, and when he walked back, Harry was half lying half sitting on the couch, his eyes were red and he again was crying. 

“can I skip breakfast? “

Louis looked at him “ are you crying? “

Harry shrugged “I will be okay, so can I skip breakfast? “

Louis tried not to get mad, Harry sighed “I am sorry, but I am really so tired I had a bad attack last night”

Louis snapped his head to him “you are okay now? “

Harry nodded but avoided looking at Louis “chest still hurts.”

Louis sighed “they will ask about you”

“tell them I have a headache. I am sorry. But that would be better”

Louis had to nod his head, Harry looked awful  
“something happened? “ Louis asked, he had to ask, although he was so mad at Harry, he wanted to ask if what Nick said was true or not. 

But not now 

“everything is fine” Harry said. 

Louis nodded and he walked away and left the room.  
******  
Everyone asked about Harry, Louis told them he had headache and he could not leave his bed, everyone sent their best wishes except Nick. He stared at Louis and when their eyes met he smirked. And walked away.  
Louis returned to his room., but he heard his mother voice

“it will be okay”

Louis opened the door and his mom was sitting on the couch hugging Harry. 

She looked at him but Louis was watching Harry, he was crying and he again avoided looking at him.  
Jay said “ he is okay now”

Louis asked “what happened? “

Jay sighed “you could have told me about the fight”

Louis looked at Harry, he didn’t look back 

Jay then sighed and patted Harry’s thigh “will you be fine? “

He nodded, she stood up “ I will leave you two together.”

And while she was walking she squeezed Louis’ shoulder and smiled. 

Louis closed the door and turned to Harry  
“what fight? “

Harry wiped his tears “I am sorry, I told her we had an argument “

“we had an argument? Wow” he was pacing the room “didn’t you think that you should tell me”

“you weren’t here, I didn’t know she was coming to the room, she saw me on the couch and she asked why I wasn’t sleeping in the bed ,what should I tell her, that I am your fake boyfriend “ Harry snapped and Louis didn’t expect that, or even liked that 

Harry sighed “don’t worry, I only told her we had an argument. Didn’t tell anything else. You can go and tell her it was all my fault “

“don’t you dare talk to me like this “ Louis threatened 

“like what? “ Harry stood up “I am only here to help you to fix your relationship with your family”

Louis was shocked “fix what? Excuse me my relation is okay. You are here to play my boyfriend.. But obviously you got distracted by other guests”

Harry narrowed his eyes “what do you mean? “

“nick. I keep seeing you talking “

Harry shook his head “he is an arse. He keeps hitting on me"

Louis didn’t believe that “really! “

“yes” Harry looked at him “I would never like to talk to him, but he is like stalking me everywhere”

He believed Harry, but something was missing, and what Zayn said.. Everything played with his mind. Maybe that why he said the next 

“not everyone talks you is flirting Harry”

Harry glared at him, Louis sighed “ I want you to minimize your interactions with others, the guests, my sisters, mom. I want you to just avoid them”

Harry was still staring at him “avoid them? “

Louis nodded. 

Harry looked down “you know I still can leave. If you what me to leave then I will leave, I can say I have an emergency or something “

Louis didn’t mean what he said “not yet”

Suddenly Harry’s eyes turned dead. He closed his eyes and sat again on the couch. 

Louis wanted to fix what he said, but as usual he did not. He was too lost and he couldn’t make any sense in his mind. So he left the room to maybe think calmer. 

*******  
Louis didn’t talk to Harry again, he saw him taking photos for the bride before the rehearsal dinner and then the boys were supposed to go to a club for the bachelor party. 

Louis was watching Harry from distance. He was so focused on taking the photos, he didn’t interact with anyone as he was ordered, his phone was ringing and Harry was refusing to answer and eventually he turned his phone off. 

Louis took a cup of tea and he walked to Harry. He stopped next to him while Harry was giving instructions to the bride. Louis then said 

“how about ten minutes break Abby? “

Abby looked at him and smiled “this was the last one. He is all yours”

She then walked to Harry and took the camera to watch the shots. 

Louis gave Harry the cup and said “you are good at it”

Harry shrugged “my boyfriend taught me”

Sam, his boyfriend who was trying to call and Harry didn’t answer. 

Louis nodded 

Harry wasn’t looking at Louis “I was not interacting, but I promised her to take photos with rehearsal dinner dress”

Louis narrowed his eyes and smirked “they have a dress for that? “

Harry giggled “they have a dress for everything Louis.”

Louis nodded his head, then he asked “how is the chest? Are you breathing good now? “

Harry nodded “it’s just the cold and the smokes.. Everyone is smoking here”

“oh shit, I am one of everyone”

Harry shrugged “it is okay. I mean it’s only tomorrow left. I don’t think I should stay when you return home with your family, I am not allowed to talk or interact with anyone. It will not fit if I stayed “

Louis was watching him, Harry added “I will return the money for those days”

Louis sighed “you can stay Harry. It is-“

“no, no.. I have to go back. Something happened and I need to be home”

Louis was concerned “ a bad thing or a good thing? “

Harry only shrugged “it depends”

Louis bit his inner cheek, he opened his mouth to apologize but Harry said “I need to wee”

“oh my god” Louis groaned 

Harry smiled “I will be back” and he walked away. 

Louis was taking a deep breath, he revised his apology in his mind again when he noticed Nick followed Harry.  
He walked after Nick, but Nick as already near the bathrooms, when he got closer he heard some movements, so he walked closer and he saw Harry and Nick were kissing beside the bathroom doors

“what the hell!! “ he shouted and the two men pulled away. 

Harry was looking at Louis with huge eyes while Nick said “thanks God you are here. Finally you could see it your eyes”

Harry gasped and looked at Nick 

Nick said “I told you he is a whore and he is after me. I turned his blowjob offer down but he couldn’t accept a no as an answer”

“what! “

Louis was glaring at Harry, Harry yelled “ what are you talking about? You fucking attacked me… you cornered me”

“really!! “ Nick yelled back “how can I attack you Harry? Why? “

Harry looked at Louis “I swear to God”

Nick snorted “as if he is gonna believe a filthy person like you”

Harry looked at Nick and yelled again “what are you doing? “

But Louis stopped them both “shut the fuck up”

Then he walked and grasped Harry’s forearm and pulled him strongly Nick was talking but Louis did not hear anything, because he was furious, the blood was boiling, he saw it his eyes, they were kissing 

“I didn’t kiss him” Harry said, but louis pressed harder on his forearm “shut up”

When they were in their room, Louis pushed Harry inside and slammed the door. 

Harry looked at him “I didn’t kiss him, or fucking asked him for a blowjob, that is disgusting “

Louis shook his head, he was too angry “you know what is disgusting Harry? You.. You are disgusting.. I had enough “

Harry was shocked “you don’t believe me? I told you he was flirting with me, I told you he was stalking me I – “

“and I don’t care. I had enough Harry, that was definitely a mistake. I shouldn’t have brought you here”

Harry narrowed his eyes and he didn’t talk 

Louis took a deep breath and closed his eyes “pack your things up… you are leaving now”

Harry was terribly shocked, he looked at Louis with a wondering eyes, Louis ignored the look cause it hurt “I am gonna go and tell mom that you have an emergency and leave. I will tell them your mom is sick or something “

And fuck, it hurt even deeper. 

Harry immediately looked down

Louis huffed and pulled his hair “just pack up”

And he stormed outside the room. 

He leaned against the door to breath. He didn’t believe Nick, because Nick was always a lair, okay he saw them kissing, but maybe Nick attacked Harry, maybe he knew Louis was following. He knew he was watching Harry, he knew he talked to him a lot. But that didn’t mean he believed Harry too. Harry was full with secrets and unspoken words. He never opened up unless one time when he talked about his mom. 

Louis rubbed his eyes. His mom. Jay. He needed to tell him because she was the only one who mattered. So Louis walked to her room and he opened the door. Jay was lying on the bed and Lottie was in front of her. She was giving her a medicine and Jay didn’t look okay 

“what happened? “ Louis asked rushing to his mom 

Jay smiled “I am fine. I just felt dizzy but I am fine now”  
Louis looked at Lottie who only shrugged, Jay said “ stop looking at each other, I feel fine now”

Lottie stood up “I will bring you some tea”

And she left the room. Louis sat at where Lottie was. He took his mother’s hand “what happened? “

Jay was still smiling “I just told you what happened. I am fine sweaty”

Louis closed his mouth, Jay patted his hand “I am fighting a cancer lou, so having a dizziness spell doesn’t sound bad, I am allowed to have those “

Louis nodded his head “I hate to see you like this mom”

Jay nodded “I know boobear. But I also know how strong you are. You are all strong so I know you will be okay, I need you to be okay” then she smiled “and since Harry is here I am sure he will keep you okay”

Louis just pressed his mouth shut, although his inside was screaming that there was no Harry, Harry was fake. 

“have you make up? “ she asked, “he was a mess this morning, I really hope you fixed everything up”

Louis just nodded, because he couldn’t tell his mom the truth, not now. Not when she is this vulnerable.  
“we did. We are okay”

She smiled wide “good I like him a lot, I want you to keep him”

Louis only smiled  
Jay sighed “I need to get ready for the rehearsal dinner “

“are you sure? “

She nodded “ absolutely. Maybe Harry can take me a couple of photos when I am done? “

Louis smiled “he would love too”

then the door was opened and Lottie with the twins entered. Louis stood up “I am gonna go, get ready too”

*****  
Louis was trying not to cry , he didn’t like to see his mother sick, it hurt bad and his heart shattered every time he sees her suffer. That was the main reason he stopped visiting, because it broke his heart. He could not lie to himself, his mother was dying, all the doctors said so. She was stable but she was getting there, he felt it in his heart. No he knew it by his heart. 

He opened the door, Harry was standing by the window, he was staring and looked abstracted, Louis walked closer and Harry didn’t feel him. 

“you can’t leave now” Louis said and Harry was startled. He looked back at Louis and he frowned deeply “what happened? Were you crying? “

Louis shook his head, but he could not take it anymore, he cried , he sobbed and covered his mouth and looked down to hide. He didn’t want Harry to see how weak he was. But it was his mother, and the tears inside stung so he had to let it out, it hurt his heart, his throat, his mind.

Louis felt hands wrapping him, then rubbing his back.  
Harry hugged him and whispered “it is okay. I know”

Louis found himself hugging back and crying harder on his shoulder, 

Harry was trying to comfort him “it’s okay. I know it hurts”

Louis then looked at him and Harry’s eyes were glassy themselves. 

Louis pulled away and sat in the couch, Harry’s bed  
“she is not okay” Louis said 

Harry nodded and sat on the table in front.  
Louis looked at him and put his hand on his heart “I am too scared”

“I know. It is scary”

Louis shook his head “I thought I am stronger than that, but every time I see her this way I collapse “

Harry put his hand on Louis’s thigh “she is your mother, you are allowed to collapse. To cry”

Louis nodded “it will never go away right? “

Harry sighed “she is still here, so enjoy her as much as you can”

Louis nodded and wiped his tears away “you can’t leave now. I could not tell her, I can’t tell her like ever”

Harry nodded “fine, when the wedding is over we will break up, that’s final”

Louis was watching him, Harry smiled “you still can kill me you know” he joked and louis his rolled his eyes “so dramatic Harry”

Harry shrugged 

“mom wants you to take her some photos. I want them to be the best”

Harry nodded “of course, she is so pretty. I know where did you get your good looking from”

Louis smiles “are you saying I am handsome “

Harry shrugged “ I can’t say something else “

“are you flirting with me Harry styles? What about your boyfriend “

Harry shrugged “he can understand “

But Louis couldn’t. Then he felt Harry’s lips on his. He didn’t know how or why, but he knew he kissed back. He knew it was ring, he knew Harry had a boyfriend, Harry was fake. But he enjoyed it anyway.  
And damn, he was falling for Harry.  
He was falling for a taken, a maybe whore, a maybe addict, a maybe theif Harry. But he was falling and that was a sure thing


	9. Chapter 9

At the rehearsal dinner, Harry was taking photos of the bride and the girls. He tried to keep his smile but he could not, he was too nervous since Nick was watching him. Then he saw Nick heading towards Louis. 

Louis was too calm, although Harry didn’t hear what was said but Nick could anger Louis easily. He saw Louis snapping at Nick and then he walked away towards Harry. 

Harry looked at the girl “girls. I need a drink”

He walked to Louis “what did he say this time? “ 

Louis shook his head “don’t mind him, have you taken photos of mom? "

Harry sighed and nodded his head. Louis smiled “let’s drink something. We have a long day and the bachelor party is after the rehearsal dinner “

Harry smiled and walked with Louis. 

At the dinner, everyone was talking, everyone looked happy, even Harry and Louis were talking like no problem happened. 

This time they were sitting on rounded tables, every family was sitting on her own table. So there was no Nick on the same table. He was too far away and that was relaxing. 

The bride was saying a speech about how did she fell in love with Tom, and how much Time meant to her. It was emotional and they loved how happy she was.  
When she finished Tom walked to her and kissed her, then she wiped her tears and looked again at the guests

“thank you so much for being here with us to share us our moment” abby said, “and we thought of something. We want every couple in the room to tell us something about each other. We want the love to fill the place again”

Harry smiled, while Louis said “ now what? “

Harry looked at him and raised a brow “we can do it, I know what can I say”

Louis rolled his eyes “that because I wrote everything down for you”

Harry giggled “come on, keep the act. Just say how would you love your boyfriend to be “

Then Louis sighed “it is not that easy to tell anything.. What can I say”

“Louis relax.. We can-“

“Louis and Harry” the groom said, Louis and Harry looked at him, everyone was looking at him 

Abby said “ you go first”

Louis was shocked "why us?" 

Abby smiled "cause we love you, we love to hear your love. Come on. Don't be shy" 

Then the girls on the table cheered and Lottie said "come on Lou" 

Harry giggled and said to Louis “ amazing”

“we are screwed” Louis murmured under his breath

Then they heard clapping and shouting their names. 

They stood up but Tom pointed for them to stand at the spot at the middle of the place, where everyone can hear. 

Louis sighed and took Harry’s hand. 

He stopped and looked at the people, he ignored looking at Nick because if he did he would ruin everything. 

He waved his hands “hi everyone. I am Louis. Of course you know that, this is my boyfriend Harry. We have been together for six months now. And we... We are deeply in love.."

Everyne laughed, even Harry giggled 

Tom shouted" tell us more"

Louis was getting anxious "What do you want to know about us”. 

Abby “ tell us why do you love him”

Louis smiled nervously “what kind of question is that? “  
Harry giggled and of course rescued him “alright, I will go first”

Then they cheered for Harry, Harry was smiling deeply, he was honestly enjoying his time. he then looked at Louis and he took his hands, he looked at his eyes 

“first time I met Louis. I thought immediately he was an asshole”

Everyone laughed, and Louis giggled. It was true 

“he was angry, and nervous. He didn’t like me too I can tell” Louis shrugged, but he did not know if that was a true thing or an act 

“ I tried to be patient with him, I mean I liked him the second I saw him. I still like him and I am still trying “

Then he squeezed his hands “I love how much he cares. He pays attention to every small detail about the people he loves. He loves his family so much, I love how he is ready to do whatever it takes to his family. I love how much he loves his family. How he cares so much even though he doesn’t show this. He knows his family so much he knows everything. Like he knows that Daisy’s favorite color is baby blue while pheobe is green. He know his mom loves tea with milk early morning at nine sharp at her favorite spot across the garden back home. How Lottie wants to be a model and he appreciates what she is doing for the family, she could follow her dream but instead she chose gladly to be with her family “

Louis was staring at Harry, tears formed in his eyes but he loved what he was hearing, he loved some appreciation, for once he wasn't that selfish man who left his family and mother dying. 

“he knows Doris loves Mwana and wants to have her hair, and he knows Ernest doesn’t like football but he plays with him because he loves playing with his elder brother” 

He heard the kids giggling, “and last but not least, I love how much he knows me. He knows everything about me, he knows I can’t go to be without a cup of tea.. And maybe that’s the reason I talk when I am sleep” 

Louis giggled because he had no idea Harry was like that, but Harry’s eyes also turned glassy, and Louis deeply wanted to believe the moment

“ you know how I like to wear socks all the time while you hate them” he giggled and tears falls down "so I always stole yours, and you always buy more knowing it wouldn't be you who will use them" 

Then he smiled  
“I love you Louis Tomlinson, you are a great person, I hope you know that, you deserve so much better. I want you to know whether we lasted forever or not, you will always have a place in my heart”

Then he looked down. 

It was silence, no one was talking, Louis looked around him and he saw people were wiping their tears, then 

Abby said “aw… that was better than my speech”

Harry giggled and looked at Louis. Tom said “your turn Tommo”

Louis sighed “I don’t know how to compete that”

Abby said “just speak your heart”

Louis looked back at Harry “ you are my better half you know that”

Harry shrugged and he gave his huge smile again  
“I thought I will never love ever . I thought that maybe when I met someone I wouldn’t open my heart again. I mean last time I did I was hurt. But with Harry… everything has changed inside of me I don’t know what to say because no words can describe what I feel for him”

Harry looked down and squeezed Louis’ hand.  
“I want us to be together forever Harry”

Harry looked at him, the blood drained out of his face. Louis swallowed thickly because he knew what he was saying was honest, Harry saw it too 

“ I never want to let you go. I want you by my side to fight The world together, I am sorry if I say I need you, but I don’t care I am not scared of love. Cause when I am not with you I am weaker, you make strong”

Louis heard Harry trying to hold his tears. Louis hugged Harry and everyone clapped for them. Louis noticed that Nick was watching them and then he left the whole place. He ignored him and enjoyed the touch with Harry, he closed his eyes. 

Louis whispered “I mean every word “

Harry tensed but he did not talk. 

Abby walked and hugged them too "oh, we love you so much. Thanks for coming" 

Tom then said “now, Ben and Mandy..come on your turn”

Louis was still taking Harry’s hand, they returned to their table, Harry whispered “that was good”

Louis looked at him “I meant it”

Harry smiled and shook his head “no, you didn’t “

Louis frowned “why! “

“you don’t know me.”

“I am ready”

Then Jay said “Harry, can you take us a photo now? “

Harry was still smiling at Louis, then he looked at Jay and stood up “let me bring the camera”. 

Harry left the table and headed to their bedroom.  
******  
Harry brought the camera and was walking out of the room when Louis entered. 

“I was coming” Harry said raising the camera 

Louis was glaring at him “what are you doing? “

Harry lowered his hand, Louis was getting angry “I just told you I want you.. I just confessed to you that I want you”

Harry sighed “ and I know you don’t “

“how do you know that? “

“because you can’t “

Louis snapped “oh please. It is not like you don’t like me, and don’t tell me because of the boyfriend . You just kissed me “

Harry frowned “I was trying to help”

“by kissing me? “

Harry nodded “yes, you were panicking, I needed to snap your mind out of it. And it worked”

Louis was pacing the room shouting “who the hell told you that? Is that what you learnt form the strip club”

Harry shook his head and looked down, he closed his eyes and said “”you forget my rules“

“what rules Harry! Why are you doing this? “

Harry raised his head up and said “I have the camera. Let’s go”

He was walking but Louis stopped him “I know you feel something too. I am not blind”

Harry didn’t talk, Louis finally huffed “fine… fine”

Then he left Harry and walked out of the room, Harry followed him. 

******  
Harry wanted to skip the bachelor party, Louis wanted to skip too, but they could not , they individually agreed they were doing this for Tom. 

When they were in the car alone Harry sighed “I am sorry”

Louis looked at him “sorry? “

Harry shrugged, he wasn’t looking at Louis he was looking down “it is just… complicated “

Louis took a deep breath “you are complicated Harry. I mean one second you are opening up and letting your guards down and the next one you build your wall up high. I don’t understand you”

“I am here for a job”

Louis’ heart ached “not now. At the start yeah but not now. Now you are more than a job”

Harry shook his head “I can’t. I have a boyfriend “

Louis wished that Harry could look back at him, but Harry was still looking down avoiding meeting Louis’ eyes. 

“but I really love to have you in my life” Harry added  
Louis didn’t know why but he felt sorry for Harry, he was obviously struggling, and it really hurt.

“I will be gladly be a part of your life” Louis finally said  
Harry looked at him “thank you”

Louis took a moment thinking whether or not bring the thing up “may I ask you something? “

Harry nodded “sure”

Louis smiled “a personal question? “

Harry giggled “my life is not that interesting “

Louis rolled “oh curly, your life is very interesting “

Harry then gave a pure smile “I like that”

Louis looked at him “what?! “

“curly… I like that”

Louis nodded “fine, then you are curly from now on”

Harry laughed “I will be your curly then”

Louis wished “yeah, you will be my curly then”

Harry sighed “so, what is the question? “

Louis took a deep breath “everything okay between you and your boyfriend? Is he the one who keeps calling you? I don’t mean to interfere or use it against him or something… I mean it has nothing to do with turning my offer down”

“I didn’t turn your offer down” Harry murmured and looked down

But Louis waited for the answer. 

Harry said without looking at Louis “it is complicated “

Louis nodded “okay… “

Harry then hugged himself “it is freezing here”

Louis turned on the heater “Harry.. That day when you were changing your clothes.. I saw a scar across your chest.”

He felt Harry tensing, but Harry smiled “ it is another question “

“it is not a question. I am just checking on you”

Harry sighed “yeah… it is an old accident, don’t worry about it”

Harry’s phone went off, he fished it from his pocket and he looked at the caller, Louis also took a look, if it was Sam he was going to ask to know more about him.  
It was Niall. 

And Harry cancelled the call and put the phone back in his pocket. 

Louis took a deep breath and concentrated on the road.  
“how is your mom? “ Harry asked 

Louis nodded “she is good. Just was just dizzy. And I was scared”

Harry nodded “it is scary too”

Then he looked in front again, he took a moment then said “ what did Nick tell you? About me I mean”

“Harry it doesn’t matter”

Harry shrugged “it doesn’t. But I want to know”

He was still looking out of the window, and Louis remembered Zayn’s words, Harry wanted to forget his past. 

“he told me you worked at that club.. And er… you were a rent boy”

Harry didn’t flinch or anything, just kept staring out of the window avoiding Louis’ eyes. Louis wanted to see Harry eyes he wanted to reassure him that he didn’t believe Nick 

“I don’t believe him. I mean.. I would be stupid to believe him according The history between me and him. He proved he is a liar”

Harry nodded, “what else? “

Louis sighed “Harry come on. Just you know, you had clients. You were an addict, you stole money.. He is trying to tell me anything to bother me really. It had nothing to do with you”

Harry didn’t move. Didn’t talk 

Louis returned to look at the road again, thanks God they were close. 

When Louis parked the car, and he shut down the engine. The boys around them left their cars, he noticed that Harry didn’t move. 

“Harry? “

Harry was looking down now, he said “I am not “

Louis waited for more. 

“I am not what he said about me”

Louis sighed “I know”

Harry finally looked at him “you believe me? “

Louis smiled, Harry seemed vulnerable at that moment, he looked smaller and weaker. Louis put his hand on Harry’s thigh “I do. You are my friend and I believe you”

Harry looked like he could finally breath, it looked like his life depended on Louis’ words. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath then he said “thank you”

Louis only smiled and then said “do you wanna skip it? You don’t look comfortable? “

Harry shook his head and rubbed his eyes, Louis wondered if it was normal and Harry tried to stop his tears 

“no, no.. Let’s do it for Tom”

“ are you sure. I mean we can have fun too”

Harry smiled “yeah. I hate clubs” then he chuckled “I mean I don’t drink and everyone around you is losing his mind except you.. So really boring for me, I only enjoy the first fifteen minutes”

Louis smiled “okay, I won’t drink too, “hay, no. You will have fun. I will watch over every one. I can drive you safe so.. “

Louis only nodded “let’s go”  
******  
When Louis and Harry entered the bar, Tom waved for them. The boy were already sitting on a table. The place was crowded and loud. Dark and dancing drunk people were everywhere. 

Louis took Harry’s hand and guided him to the table.  
“what took so long? “ Ben asked 

Louis smiled and sat, one of the boys “the place is amazing “

Tom nodded “Nick picked it”, of course, he was the expert. 

Speaking of him, he wasn’t around and that was relieving.. But that did not take long. He showed up hands filled with huge glasses of bear. He put the cups down didn’t mind how much split out of them. He looked at Louis “I didn’t bring you anything, what would you like to drink? “

Louis shook his head “don’t mind me. It is Tom’s night” he said Patting Tom’ shoulder. 

The boys took their drinks, and Nick sat right in front of Harry. 

Ben said “people know you here Nick. You are here a lot”

Nick laughed “it is not like I work here. But I do come here a lot”

Tom said “I want to drink something strong. I need to lose it tonight “

Nick screamed and the other laughed. Tom looked at Nick “any suggestions? “

Nick answered playfully “there are tons of options. But what d0o I know. We can always ask Harry he was a bartender once “

Harry again tensed and Louis glared at Nick.  
Tom looked at Harry “have you? “

Harry nodded “yeah. Long time ago. “

Tom was excited “that’s sound amazing. You got a pass to drink whatever you Want”

Harry laughed “well. Not for me. I don’t drink”

Ben laughed “no kidding. Why? “

Harry shrugged “I am a lightheaded. So.. Alcohol doesn’t work for me”

Ben laughed again “but I am sure it was interesting”

Nick answered for Harry “of course it was. Meeting different people.. Serving them. “ then he added “I am sure this place brought you a lot of memories “ then he looked at the others “I wanted to take you to a gay strip night club. I know one.. And it’s amazing, the service is wonderful. We could rent Tom a boy to shag or something “ he winked at him, Tom was laughing “ I am not gay”

Nick shrugged “ doesn’t matter. These boys work for everyone. Just stuck the money in their asses and they will drive you crazy. Right Harry? “

Harry didn’t look at him, he was looking at the table.  
“and how do you know Nick? “ Louis fired back  
Nick shrugged “the man should try everything “

“is that what you were trying when we were together “  
Nick didn’t answer that. Everyone noticed the tension 

Tom then said “let’s go dance” 

Tom and couple of boys left.

Ben said “aren’t you dancing Nick? “

Nick shook his head, he looked at Louis and Harry again “aren’t you? Come on lads have some fun. Come on doll. Give us a lap dance or something.. I am sure you know how”

And that was it. Harry was on his feet. Louis was firing Nick but he looked at Harry expecting. 

“I need some fresh air” Harry said. 

Louis stood up but Harry said “no, stay. I will be back”

And he stormed away and disappeared immediately among the crowd. 

Ben said to Nick “ you are such an asshole Nick”

Nick shrugged “come on Dr. I didn’t do anything wrong, I didn’t mean him to be upset. He worked at a club before that what I meant”

Louis shook his head in disbelief “I can’t believe I was with you one day”

Nick raised a brow “so you prefer him than me”

Louis didn’t answer that, instead, he stood up and followed Harry. 

*****  
Outside Harry was sitting on the car back. Alone  
“it is cold here” Louis said walking to him

Harry looked at him and said “please, get back to your family “

Louis walked and sat beside him “I rather you”

Harry sighed “as long as I am not around he won’t bother you”

Louis shook his head “I don’t give a shit about him”

Harry shrugged “you still need to be inside”

Louis chuckled “I don’t think they will even notice Harry. The first fifteen minutes had passed, they are all drunk now”

Harry smiled and nodded his head. 

“I am sorry about Nick”

“don’t apologize for him”

“I know. But I want to”, then he took Harry’s hand, Harry looked at their hands 

Louis said “you don’t deserve this”

Harry smiled “I worked there anyway”

Louis shrugged “ and why does it matter? “

Louis knew at this moment, he wouldn’t stay away from Harry, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He was looking at Harry’s lips and that was all he wanted. So he didn’t think twice. He kissed Harry. 

Harry wasn’t surprised. He was expecting that, he wanted that. So he cupped Louis’ face and kissed back. It was a long, soft, beautiful kiss  
When they pulled back, Louis wanted one more. Louis wanted more of everything. 

He took Harry’s hand and they entered the car again.  
They kissed and kissed. And kissed. 

Next thing Louis knew they were on their bed. Both naked. And both trying to breath regularly and calm their hearts. 

“I can’t believe I broke my rule” Harry said 

Louis laughed “ I am glad it was with me”

Louis lied on Harry’s chest, he moved his finger along the scar. He didn’t want to think of anything. No regrets now. No boyfriends, no worries.

Harry yawns “I want to sleep”

Louis laughed “I drained all your energy curly“

Harry giggled weakly “I guess you did”

Louis then sat in the bed “I need to wee, don’t sleep”

He rushed to the bathroom. It only took him few minutes but when he returned Harry was snoring.  
Louis smiled, he collapsed on the couch. Again he didn’t want to think of what happened. What are the consequences. 

He just took a deep breath. He saw Harry’s laptop and he did not want to sleep. He saw the camera beside the laptop, so Harry was doing some editing. Once he touched the laptop it lightened up. 

He told himself he would only take a look. But once he read what was on the screen he froze. 

HARRY was searching of something. 

There were lots of opened windows of the same topics.  
(how to end your life with no pain)  
Louis froze because what was that. About eight windows of the same topic. What was Harry exactly thinking of?.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that will hurt

Louis felt Harry stirring beside him when the alarm went off, he looked at him and he panicked. He wondered if he should tell him what he saw on his laptop. Why was Harry searching for this topic? Was he trying to end his life? Was he trying to kill someone?  
Harry opened his eyes and once he saw Louis staring at him, he smiled, then he hugged Louis and buried his face in his neck 

“why are you awake? “ Harry asked 

I didn’t sleep, Louis wanted to answer 

“I just woke up”, he smiled and played with Harry’s hair. 

Harry moaned “can we spend the day in the bed? “

Louis giggled “we can have breakfast and then return back”

Harry hugged Louis tighter “I can’t. I need to be with the bride. She wants me to photo shoot the dress and her jewels and stuff”

Louis smiled “she is using you, you should ask for money”

“no, she is your cousin's bride, I would never do that”

“after the photo shoot then” 

“I need to edit the photos. I promised her she will have them tonight before I leave. I was doing some last night but I got distracted I guess “

Louis’ heart went crazy, he was distracted figuring away to end someone’s life. 

Louis only said “ I know you can do it”

Harry then looked at his face “are you okay? “

Louis looked back and nodded “yeah, yeah I am okay”

Harry then pulled away, his brows were narrowed “are you sure? Last night was-“

“great, last night was great. I promise “

Harry looked at his face for few seconds searching for something, maybe some relief, then he nodded his head “it was great, yeah, we will talk about it later"

"we will"  
Of course they would. Where did last night ppàut them. What they were now? 

Then Louis left the bed “if you want to do everything you just said, you need to wake up now”

Harry smiled again and he left the bed, he was shirtless and he was looking for his shirt, Louis was staring at his scar, again he wondered if it was an accident, or was it the client that Nick said he stole. Or did Harry hurt himself. 

“stop staring at it” Harry said giggling when he caught his eyes. 

Louis looked at Harry and he looked down shyly “sorry, sorry. It is just a big scar. I am so sorry”

Harry looked at his scar, Louis then asked “aren’t you telling me how did you got it! “

Harry didn’t look at Louis “of course I will. But not now” then he entered the bathroom. 

Louis sighed and collapsed on the bed again. It felt nice and scary at the same time to have someone like Harry. Louis knew he was full with surprises and secrets. He knew he was hiding something and running from something. He knew he had alot in his past, a lot of losses and regrets, but the question was, was Louis ready for someone like Harry? 

******* 

At breakfast Harry was completely different. He looked sincerely happy , his eyes were glowing, and his smile didn’t leave his face. He didn’t stop talking to Louis, Louis liked that, he liked that side of Harry because for once he believed Harry wasn’t faking. 

After breakfast while Louis was in his room to bring his phone which he forgot, the door was opened. Louis said “I found it Harry”

But there was no answer, Louis turned to look at Harry, but it wasn’t Harry, it was Nick

“what are you doing here? “

Nick was crossing his arms watching Louis “I have to ask you the same question “

“this is my room”

Nick sighed “I meant, why Harry is still here? “

Louis rolled his eyes “and why are you obsessed with him”

Nick gave a loud laugh “obsessed? I am trying to protect you and your family “

Louis snorted “I can protect my family Nick, thank you very much”

Nick walked closer “Louis. Don’t do that, I mean why did you do that from the start, you could have asked me. I mean you know me”

Of course it was all about him. 

Louis only shook his head “I don’t know you, I never did”

“you are still mad at me”

“mad at you? You cheated on me Nick, you broke up with me. And you are asking if I was mad. I am not mad I just didn’t want to see your face ever again. I am trying my best to be civilized while you keep stalking me and my boyfriend and telling lies about him”  
Nick yelled “those are not lies”

“you are accusing him of being an addict, a whore, a thief… those are lies”

“ how do you want me to prove It? “

“I don’t “ Louis yelled, then he looked at nick “ how about leaving me and my family alone. Including Harry”

Nick shook his head “you will regret it”

“okay” Louis just wanted to end the conversation. 

Nick then looked at Louis “he made you love him, didn’t he? His plan is working good for him”

“what plan? “

“has he got under your pants yet? “

Louis didn’t answer. 

Nick finally gave a long breath “remember I tried to protect you”

Then he left the room, and walked away.  
**** 

Louis was drinking tea with Ben, when he saw some noises coming from everywhere, people was walking everywhere, he then saw his sister

Ben “what is going on? “

Louis shrugged, then he called Lottie. She walked to them “what happened? “

Lottie sighed “ the bride can’t find her ring, so we are making a searching party, she can't remember where she put it"

Ben asked “her ring! “

Lottie nodded “yeah, where is Harry? He is the last one who saw it, maybe he knows something “

Louis’ heart dropped, Harry took it, Harry stole the ring.,  
“I will find him” Louis said. 

******  
Louis wanted to punch a wall, he seriously couldn’t believe he was that fool. It was Harry, of course it was Harry who took it, who else could it be. He just prayed to find Harry still there and not already ran away. 

He opened the room door and stormed inside, Harry was on his couch and his laptop in front of him. 

“haven't finished yet, sorry” Harry said without looking at Louis. 

Harry was sitting relaxed, like he didn’t do something, like he didn’t steal the ring. 

Harry noticed that Louis didn’t talk, he looked at him and narrowed his eyes, Louis looked furious. 

“what happened? “

Louis was too angry, he looked at Harry who was still on the couch but he looked concerned. 

“you tell me what happened? “ Louis snapped 

“what do you mean? “

Louis huffed “what happened in the photo shoot? “

Harry shrugged, he was still confused “I took some photos? “

“just took the photos? “

Harry nodded “yeah. I am editing them now” he pointed at the laptop

“you didn’t take anything else? “

Harry sighed “lou.. What is going on? “

And the nickname made his blood boil, harry was trying to run away as usual. But this time Louis Promised himself, he wouldn't fall for that. 

“the ring is missing “ he shouted 

“what ring? “

“don’t you fucking fool me Harry”

Harry stood up slowly “I don’t understand, what ring? What is going on? “

Louis looked at him, he tried not to lose his temper, he was trying to get the ring and make Harry go away without calling the police 

“Abbey’s ring is missing “

Harry gasped “missing how? I just made a photo session for it”

“exactly “

“but-" then suddenly the realization hit him" Wait a minute. Are you accusing me? “

Louis snapped “I don’t know ,should I? You were the last one who saw it, so where is it? “

Harry frowned “are you fucking accusing me? Do you think I stole it? “

Louis shrugged, but he looked serious. He wasn’t going to fall for Harry’s innocence again, he reminded himself. 

“are you expecting an answer? Are you serious? “

“this is serious Harry, the bride’s ring is missing “

“I didn’t take it” 

Louis yelled “then who did? “

Harry shook his head and looked down “you believe him. You believe Nick”

Louis huffed “ Nick again. why should I believe you? You are a complete stranger. Was it your plan Harry from the start? Playing hard to get so I can trust you then.. Paaam. You steal us and run away… oh my God. Nick was right. You are a thief, you are an addict, you are a whore”

Harry shook his head “don’t say that”

“then tell me, where is it? Give it back Harry so I don’t call the police on you”

Harry snapped his head up at Louis “what? Why are you doing this? I thought last night meant something ”

Louis gave a frustrated laugh “meant something? Stop playing innocent Harry. You got caught I can’t believe I almost believed you-“

“louis stop” Harry begged, he didn't want to hear Louis hurting him again. 

“if you didn’t bring the ring now, I will call the police”

“I don’t know where is it, I didn’t steal it, I never stole anything. Please don’t believe Nick.. He is lying and-“

“you are lying too. I know it, I know you were trying to fool me, you wanted to get under my pants just like a slut. But guess what.. I wanted to try to sleep with a slut too. So we are equal-“

“take it back” Harry yelled, tears formed in his eyes and he was angry

It surprised Louis, but he said “where is the ring Harry? ”

Harry yelled again “I don’t know”

Then their door was opened. 

Jay entered looking terrified between the two men, then she looked at her son “ did I just hear you accusing your boyfriend? “

Louis’ heart was beating fast, he didn’t know what else did his mom hear, he didn’t know what to say, or how to fix it. He knew Harry wouldn’t try to help. 

“I didn’t take it, I swear” Harry said to Jay and then he stormed to the bathroom and slammed the door after him

Jay looked at Louis “what is happening? “

Louis sighed “mom.. I-“

“”why did you say that? “

“he was the last one who saw it”

“not true. During the session your sisters were there, I was there. Are you going to accuse us too? “

“mom-“

She shook her head “I really can’t believe you”

“you don’t understand “

“what can you tell? He is your boyfriend. He is in love with you, how could you hurt his heart this way Louis “

Then she walked out of the room.

Great now his mom hated him, he collapsed on the couch and looked at the laptop again, there was a photo of the dress Harry was editing, Louis closed his eyes to calm his heart down. It was when the bathroom door was opened, Harry walked out holding his shaving kit and his tooth brush, he didn’t talk, but he was crying obviously. He opened his bags and he tossed everything on the floor, 

“what are you doing? “ Louis asked him, he got a little calm, cause he wanted to think straight. 

“search them.. Search everything” then he walked to his back bag and he tossed it to Louis, it hit Louis’s chest but he was watching Harry 

“they are my meds, check them, check every container cause a thief addict like me could have hidden the ring anywhere”

Louis didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know if he could believe Harry but Harry was crying mess, he was too hurt. 

Harry took off his cardigan and he tossed it to Louis’s face “here, search the pockets.” 

Then he lift his shirt up and the scar looked red and ugly now “look at me. I could have hidden it anywhere” Then Harry walked to Louis “search my pockets.”

Louis was going to talk, but Harry yelled “do it”

Louis stood up and put his hands on Harry’s pocket only to stop Harry, he didn't search him or anything. 

Harry’s body was shaking strongly, he was sweaty and hyperventilating. Louis looked at him he wanted to talk, but the words stuck at his tongue. 

Harry then took his back bag, and took his inhaler, he took two long puffs, then he took one of the bills with a shaking obvious hand. He knew Louis was watching but his didn't care. 

He looked at Louis “search my bags”

Louis was watching Harry, he didn’t move so Harry rushed to his clothes and started to toss them to the bag, he was shouting hysterically “there is nothing there. Nothing. I never stole anyone. I never did it”  
Louis only stayed watching Harry gathering his clothes and belongigins and tossing them violently in his bags. 

He then zipped his bags and the he crashed on the couch, he like lost all his power. Which was true

He wiped his tears “I was only trying to help you. I was only trying to give you a happy time with your family. I loved your family and now they are gonna think I am a theif” then he looked at Louis “I am not a thief, or addict, or a whore, I heard you talking to Zayn the other night, and I don’t know why are you keep hurting me this way. I shouldn’t have come. I just shouldn’t have come ” Harry wiped his falling tears again “ I know you think less of me. You think I am an addict-“

“those meds? “ Louis' tounge betrayed him, he didn't want to talk, he didn't want to make it worse. 

“I am sick. Not a fucking addict, I am sick, people can still get sick right? I need them to make the pain less” 

then he huffed and shook his head “I thought last night meant something. But who I am kidding. Nothing could happen between us. I will always be the whore in your eyes.”

Then his phone peeped, he looked at it 

“that’s my uber” then he stood up. 

“I know the ring will show up the minute I leave. And you will know I didn’t take it, but it will be too late”

Harry took his bags, he put the laptop and the camera on their bags, he said without looking “ I will send the photos to Zayn”

Then he left the room. 

Louis wanted to follow him, he really did. But he could not, he didn’t know what just happened. But he knew he lost Harry. 

*****  
Louis didn’t leave his room. But after around two hours Lottie entered the room dressing beautifully but she looked at her brother with big eyes 

“is it true? Did Harry leave? “

Louis sighed and covered his face, Lottie “your sisters saw him and he told them he had an emergency. What happened? He looked awful.. they say”

Louis did not look at his sister, he said first thing came across his mind “his mother is sick “

Lottie sighed and sat beside him “oh, Lou. I am so sorry “

Then she hugged him “you can go tomorrow to check on him”

Louis sighed “ did Abby find the ring? “

Lottie laughed “she is an idiot, Nick just found it for her. She put it in the bathroom cabinet. Why would she do that? “

Nick? 

Nick was behind this. 

Lottie then said “come on, get ready. Don’t be late”

And then she walked out of the room.


	11. Chapter 11

Louis had no idea what happened in the wedding, his mind was somewhere else. His mind was with Harry. He wanted to call him but because he was a fool he didn’t ask for Harry’s number; he could not call Zayn because he knew Zayn would be mad at him. After all Harry was his friend who Zayn trusts by his life. 

Louis couldn’t stay home too after the wedding, he packed his belongings and was ready to leave the very next morning. He was avoiding everyone. Everyone was worried about Harry and kept asking him questions, and Louis fed up of lying. 

He didn’t look at his mother face, it was the hardest, he had no idea how to explain it. She heard him accusing Harry of stealing, Harry swore to her with tears in his eyes he didn’t. How could Louis fix that without saying the truth. How could the truth hurt his mom? 

He was sitting beside his bags, trying to be strong while leaving, he would miss his family so much, it just like it kept happening. The same thing happened few years ago. But this time he wasn’t heartbroken, this time he was the bad guy, not the victim. 

His phone went off, it was Nick. 

Nick was trying to talk to him but Louis was keep running away, if he met Nick he would kill him, that simple. 

His door was knocked and opened. Jay entered and closed the door behind her. She leaned on the door and looked at the bags and then at her son.  
“you are leaving now? “

He was looking at her, he nodded his head “I am”

“without talking to me? “

Louis sighed “I was coming to talk to you”

Jay nodded and she walked, she sat beside him on the bed “are you going to explain to me what happened with you and Harry? “

Louis slowly nodded his head “mom.. I.. Something happened. I mean Harry is.. He is – “

“not your boyfriend “ his mom finished for him. 

Louis snapped his head up to his mom, she nodded “of course I know. I knew the very next day”

“how? Was it Harry? “

She shook her head “no, Harry was so convincing, he convinced everyone. Your sisters love him, the kids love him, my father loved him. They are convinced he is real”

“but not you? “

“not me” then she sighed “I am your mother Louis. I raised you up, I know you by the heart. And you are a terrible liar”

Louis looked down, she then said “it worked though. But I just don’t know why? And please don’t tell me you did it for me”

He shrugged still avoiding looking at her, she sighed “oh boobear. You shouldn’t.. All I wanted was your happiness. I always had doubts about that mysterious boyfriend, I mean you barley mentioned him, I have never heard his voice.. And then you came to us with this charming young man… I loved it, I loved to believe that you are really happy. He looked in love, and taking good care of you.. For a minute I almost believed him”

“I am sorry”

“no, no.. Don’t be. I want to know what happened? Why did you accuse him? “

Louis took a deep breath “I thought he was something.. But he was something else”

“wait a minute.. You mean you are not friends? You don’t know him”

“no”

His mom was shocked “Louis what were you thinking bringing a complete stranger to a family reunion? How could you do that? Introduce him to your sisters? “

Louis groaned “I don’t know mom, it just happened it wasn’t supposed to be him I was taking a friend of mine but his girlfriend is heavy pregnant and at the last minute he changed his mind, and suggested Harry”

“wow so you were bringing a straight man to play gay for you I wonder how could this work”

“mom, please stop blaming me, it is over now, it went well”

“went well? “ then she sighed “so is he a thief? Is that why you accused him? “

Louis answered hastily “no, of course not. I mean.. I don’t know. I don’t know him okay, I have never met him but my friend trusts him so much. If I knew he was a thief I would never have brought him”

“so, he is a thief” 

“no, mom. I hope not. Nick says he is”

She frowned “Nick knows too? “

Louis huffed “he knew him, he knew he used to work in a gay strip club and he told me.”

“oh my God! “

“but Harry said he was only a bartender, and he worked only for few months. Then Nick said he was an addict, I saw meds with him but Harry said he was sick. Nick also said he was a thief-“

“so when the ring disappeared, you accused him” Jay said 

Louis shrugged “I guess I did”

She then looked in front “it’s Nick effect. He always had that effect on you and I hate it. Even when you were together.. Everyone told you he wasn’t good for you but you chose to believe him"

Louis didn’t talk. He just listened to his mom.  
“he didn’t steal it” his mom said 

Louis nodded, Jay added “and he is not an addict, and only a bartender “

Louis said “mom, it is over now. Everything is over. I am sorry I did that, I am sorry I lied to you. But please don’t tell the girls anything and I will tell them we broke up or something next month and we all will forget about Harry”

Jay looked at him “but you won’t forget about him Louis. You will talk to him and apologize”

Louis sighed “I don’t think he wants to see me”

“of course he is not , but you will do your best to fix this. He only helped, and you kept hurting him”

Louis shook his head, he was feeling ashamed, and guilty. He knew Harry proved his good intentions, he knew he believed Nick over Harry. But he was Nick. 

Mom finally took his hand and he looked at her “ I know how confused you are now. I know how do you feel. But at the end I know you will do the right thing. And Louis all I want is you to be happy. Alone or with someone. I know I am a pressure on your shoulder but – “

“mom”

“I just want you happy. I am sure Harry made you happy for some time and I could see something between you two”

“there is nothing, we were faking it”

She smiled and pressed his hand tightly, then she hugged him. He hugged her back and he kissed her forehead. 

Louis said goodbye to his family, every member of the family told him to say hi to Harry and to take care of him. Everyone in the family asked for Harry’s number that Louis didn’t have, he told them once he arrived he would call them from Harry’s phone, he told them Harry was too worried about his mom and he would never pick up the phone. They believed him at the end of the day. Earnest gave him a drawing while Doris gave him a bracelet. They both asked Louis to give them to Harry and take pictures with it and send them. 

Louis’ heart broke because this family was falling for Harry and he knew how they would feel when he tell them he broke up with Harry. 

*******  
At the first two days, Louis locked himself in his apartment, he didn’t see anyone one, he didn’t call anyone or answered anyone’s calls. 

Zayn and Niall called him a lot, Zayn was the worst, he called and left voice notes, he screamed and yelled and obviously was too angry. Niall only sent him one text said “we need to talk”. 

Louis of course avoided them. Harry was Zayn’s friend and Niall knew who Harry was. Of course they would be mad at him and he didn’t want to be lectured.  
Zayn called again this morning and Louis’ heart ached, what if Zayn wanted something, he sent him he would come for him if he didn’t pick up so eventually, Louis answered. 

“so you are fucking alive” Zayn shouted 

“hello Zayn “

“where the hell have you been? I was calling you. Were you avoiding me or something? “

Louis answered expecting another yell “no”

“well, you fucking should “

Louis sighed “is it about Harry? “

“of course, it is about Harry you twat, what have you done? What were you thinking? “

“so he told you”

“not at the start, but I cornered him and he told me everything. What were you thinking Louis? I told you he is a friend. Was it your plan from the start? Was this what you were going to do to me? Accusing me of stealing and calling me names”

“no” Louis said defending himself 

“then what? Why did you do that? How could you do that? He doesn’t deserve this shit he was only helping, I begged him to help you, you had no idea how much I begged”

Louis snorted “he took money Zayn for what he did”

Zayn took a deep breath to calm himself and Louis expected it was a win “he returned the money back”  
“what?! “taking the money was the only thing that made louis sleep at night, it didn’t make the guilt grow deeper in his chest 

“he left the money with me. He said something about photos, said he will finish them and send them to me”  
Louis closed his eyes, he bit his lower lip “how is he? Is he still mad? “

Zayn chuckled “you don’t get to ask that “

Louis groaned “God Zayn, don’t be so hard. Just tell me. Where he is then I can go and talk to him”

But Zayn only said “bye Louis”

And he ended the call. 

Louis sighed and tossed the phone away, he rested his back on the couch and rubbed his face. 

Okay Zayn was mad. Harry returned the money back. Maybe if he talked to Harry, he would be able to explain to him and maybe apologize.

The phone went off again, Zayn was calling again  
Louis picked up “yes Zayn”

“Louis, gigi is having the baby” Zayn was panicking.  
Louis jumped on his feet “what? Now? Is she with you? “

“no, no, she is on her way to the hospital. But I am scared shit. I am… fuck, she is having a baby now Louis, I have to go.. Where the fuck is my keys”

Louis was already wearing his shoes “no, no.. I am coming to pick you up, you can’t drive this way, are you home? “

“yeah, yeah.. Okay don’t be late”

“don’t panic” Louis said taking his keys and jacket.  
*****  
During the trip to the hospital, Zayn didn’t stop talking, he was so nervous, so excited, so scared but most importpantly he was so happy. 

Once they arrived there they were met with Gigi’s mother. She told them the baby refused to come out unless her father was in the room. She took Zayn and ran to the delivery department leaving louis. 

Just as Zayn Disappeared, Niall showed up. He was too nervous too and once he saw Louis, he rushed to him “how are they? “

Louis said smiling “ the baby still inside. “

Niall nodded and didn’t talk again. The silence was awkward, Niall was obviously trying to avoid him.  
When it took so long, louis said “let’s have some coffee”

At the hospital café. Louis was staring at Niall. Niall was looking at anywhere except Louis’ direction. 

Finally louis groaned “alright, it is about Harry. And don’t tell me you don’t know him cause I know you know each other”

Niall looked at him with big eyes at first then he relaxed a bit “I know Harry”

“fine” louis said, “now, you are mad at me”

“of course “

Louis nodded “how do you know him anyway? Cause I mentioned you and he denied knowing you“

“I know his boyfriend, he was my flat mate”

Okay now Niall was lying, Louis snorted “yeah right, you only had Liam as your flat mate, and Liam is dead so-“

Niall only shrugged 

Then the realization hit him hard “he was Liam’s boyfriend “

Niall nodded “that’s why I never had anyone else in the flat, I kept the place for Harry”

“you mean he doesn’t have a boyfriend now? “

Niall shook his head “no of course not, he can’t get over Liam. I mean he would come and cry on his bed for days. He never forgot Liam and never will. It was too hard for all of us. But mostly for Harry”

Louis nodded “that was what? Three years ago? “

“yeah, three years ago. Exactly before we met ”

Louis looked down “he never said anything about hislife”

“when he returned home. He came to me. He cried on Liam’s bed again. He didn’t talk or anything. I called Zayn and Zayn showed up and tried to understand. All he knew that you accused him of a robbery. And then he gave him money and asked to give it back to you. When he knew someone else was coming to take Liam’s spot he disappeared. Vanished. “ Niall sighed “I didn’t want to have anyone. I didn’t want him to know. But I also needed money”

Louis nodded understanding, then he asked “and you don’t know where he is? “

Niall shook his head “ and this is driving us crazy. He doesn’t pick our phones, or our messages, but he sees them, so he is alive”

Louis raised a brow, Niall said “Zayn was worried sick about him, he sent him he would call the police. So he started to answer with a word or two  
“

Why are you this worried? He is an adult”

But he started to see the articles Harry was searching for before.

Niall shrugged “he tried to hurt himself before. He tried to end his life but Zayn was there thanks God and he saved him. That’s why he always wears the bracelets Liam bought him”

Fuck and fuck. 

Louis closed his eyes, he knew Harry had troubles, but Harry was actually fucked up. 

Louis then looked at Niall “do you think he will do it again? “

Niall “you mean hurt himself? Well, no one knows how his brain works. But he is not okay now. I mean not only because of what you did, but tomorrow is Liam’s memorial. “

“oh my God.” Louis rubbed his face. “it is getting worse Niall. The guilt is killing me. I should have known something like that”

Niall shook his head “no, he wouldn’t go. He hates when people feel sorry for him”

Louis took a deep breath “where is he? I need to find him”

“he doesn’t want to be found. Specially by you”

“but I need to find him, I need to say sorry before it’s too late “

“too late? “

Louis sighed “something happened when he was with me.”

Niall’s face turned white “what happened? “

Louis tried to ignore his panic and said “I saw something. On his laptop, he was searching for… painless death”

Niall gasped and clutched his chest “he is thinking of this again”

Louis shrugged “I don’t know. But I need to find him. I have to talk to him”

“no Louis. You have done enough. Your simple sorry wouldn’t fix him. He spent those past years trying to run away his past, Liam was perfect for him. They were in so much love, he was in so much love. Liam was his Prince charming who saved his life and gave him a second chance. When he died his life had turned upside down. We saw the light was taken out of his face, he struggles to stay a life. He struggles to keep going with his life. And finally, he is okay, not okay… I mean living. You ruined it for him again”

Louis was about to cry “please. I had no idea you don’t know what was happening there. And his no personal questions rules. I mean he was so dark and someone recognized him” 

“recognized him how? “

Louis tried to control his voice “he was going to the club Harry used to work n, he told me Harry used to be a rent boy”

Niall gasped “he wasn’t “

“I know, but I didn’t know back then. No one told me anything. So I asked Harry and he told me he was only a bartender”

Niall shook his head “he was so hurt. He didn’t tell us the whole story though. Only small pieces.”

Louis tried to control his emotions “ where can I find him? “

“I don’t know”

“think”

Niall repeated himself “I don’t know. I tried to look for him. But I know Harry, when he wants to disappear he can “

Louis closed his mouth, he bit his lips trying to think of anything “who is Sam? “

“Sam? “ Niall asked narrowing his eyes 

Louis nodded “yeah Sam. He was calling Harry”

“fuck”

“what? “

Niall asked “did you know why he was calling? “

“no, but every time Harry answered he became different, who is Sam? “

“all I know he is his step brother “

Louis nodded “maybe he is with him”

Niall shook his head “no, I don’t think so. They are not close. He is not even living here, he is in Canada. They barely talk”

“well they talked recently, a lot”

Niall shrugged “ I don’t know. Maybe there is something with his step dad”

Louis nodded “ maybe yeah. He told me something happened. Maybe he is there with his step dad”

Niall sighed “his step dad is an asshole. He hurt Harry before. I never think Harry would see him again, and I don’t think he would see Sam too. He ran away and left Harry to his father, he never defended him I hate him”

Louis frowned “what do you mean hurt Harry? “

Niall only shrugged and didn’t look at him, Louis sighed “there is a scar across his chest. Does this has anything to do with his step dad”

Niall still didn’t talk, so Louis groaned “fuck. I need to see him”

“why? “ Niall finally looked at him. 

Why? And why was the right question. Why did he wanted so hard to see him? 

“don’t feel sorry for him, he hates that”

“I am not feeling sorry”

“then what? Cause few days ago you just accused him of stealing and now you act like you care, if it wasn’t petty then what is it! “

Love? 

“I don’t know” Louis defended himself, he felt niall was attacking him. 

“then leave him alone Louis” Niall finally said. 

Louis looked at Niall. Niall was so defending, he was trying to protect Harry and Louis understood why. But Louis was also his friend and he wasn’t a bad guy. He really wanted to see Harry. 

“give me his phone number”

“no”

“Niall! “

“no, he told me not to give you his number, I am not doing this”

Louis groaned “you do know where he is”

“I don’t “

“you do”

“I don’t. I swear i wish I did. I am terribly scared and I am trying to call him every hour, he never picks up. But he sees my texts, so he is alive”

Louis was going to talk but Zayn showed up, a huge smile across his face 

“I have a baby girl”


	12. Chapter 12

Louis took the chance of super excited and happy Zayn and he could have Sam’s full name. He didn’t ask for Harry’s number, Zayn would never give him and Louis was smarter than upsetting Zayn at the moment.

The next day he spent it all searching for Sam winchester. It was like searching of a needle in haystack. He looked everywhere on the social media, he didn’t know what to expect to find but he was determined to find Harry. 

He didn’t. 

Next morning he went to Nail’s House. Once Niall opened the door he said 

“what happened? “ he looked truly concerned 

“I need to find him Niall” Louis said and then entered the flat.  
Niall sighed “ we talked about it”

“and I still need to find him”

Niall walked to his kitchen “ he is okay”

Louis followed him “how did you know? Did he call you? Did you find him? “

Niall pressed the boiler and looked at Louis “why are you so obsessed of him? He said he doesn’t want you to talk to him again”

“so you talked? “

Niall huffed “we did. Yes. I told him Gigi gave birth to the girl. I know he was so excited so I said maybe if I gave him this info he would react”

“and he did”

“he did. He didn’t tell me where he was though. But he talked to me”

Louis sighed “did he mention me? “

Niall shook his head “I told him you were looking for him. He made it clear not to tell you anything about him”

Louis rubbed his face “Niall help me here, I want to make things right between us. I want a second chance with him. I have a lot to tell him”

Niall nodded “I know, okay. But I can’t. If I did this he will be mad and maybe never answer my calls again”

“I won’t tell him anything “

“what do you want me to do? I don’t know where he is”

Louis huffed “but at least you have a clue”

Niall liked down. 

Louis walked closer “please Niall, I know I screw up big deal but I want to fix this. I want to know him better”

“why? “

“because I love him” Louis didn’t expect himself to say that, but once he said it he knew it was the truth

Niall looked at him with big eyes, then he shook his head again “no, you don’t. You don’t even know him”

“I don’t care. I loved what I see and I need more”

“what you saw you wrote it down”

“no, we had something there. Something happened there”

“what happened? I need to know… because the way he cried, the way he looked hurt, it was more than you accusing him”

Louis nodded his head “we slept together “

“what!! “

Louis shrugged “we both wanted it, and it was amazing “

“shut up” he paced the room “he slept with you? Oh God. And then you broke his heart? Fuck you Louis. You don’t know what you did"

“I know. And I want to fix it, but no one helps me”

“he’s never slept with anyone since Liam. Do you know what does it mean? And you fucking broke his heart”

“I want to fix his heart Niall” Louis screamed “help me so I can fix it. Help me… I need to find him”

“so you can hurt him again”

“I would never do this again.” Then he took a deep breath “I just want to talk to him Niall. Please. It is all I am asking. If he doesn’t want to see me again, I will disappear and won’t bother him. But I deserve this chance”

Niall was looking at him, but he looked down “I am sorry. I won’t do this to Harry”

Louis groaned “god, you can be a stubborn sometimes “

Niall smiled sadly and said “make us some tea, I am gonna go and use the bathroom”

Niall left the kitchen and Louis walked to pour himself and Niall the tea. He put out two cups and put in them two tea sachets. He was going to take the boiler when he saw Niall’s phone. He looked at the door and then he looked again at the phone. 

It happened in few seconds, Louis unlocked Niall and thanks God for Niall’s kindness he doesn’t have a lock number. Then he searched for Harry’s number, he copied the number hastily in his phone, then he searched for Sam Winchester, and he copied his number. He put the phone back and took a deep breath. He put his hand on his chest to calm his heart down. He then poured the hot water and sat on the kitchen table, his mind was Racing thoughts, he already made a plan and he had hopes that it would work out. 

Niall showed up again, he sat in front of Louis and took his tea, he looked at Louis “drink your tea”

Louis looked at Niall. The plan was sat in his brain and he couldn’t think of anything else. “I have to go”

Then he stood up, Niall was watching him confused “now? Are you sure? “

Louis didn’t answer, he just took his coat and he left the whole place.  
******  
The phone was in front of him on the living table. He was staring at it and his mind was deep thinking. He was revising what he was going to say again and again in his mind .  
Finally he huffed and took the phone, he pressed call. And he waited 

First ring 

Second ring 

Third ri- “hello”

Louis's heart was beating fast “ Hello, Mr Winchester, this is Amazon group.since you are our customer of the month we decided to deliver you a great present, but for more privacy let me check some information “

“er..sure I haven’t ordered from amazon for a year?”

“The point is you won.. this is your number , correct?”

“Correct"

“You live in Canada correct?”

“Correct, but I am in UK now.”

And yes!, that was exactly what he wanted to hear 

“No problem, give us the address and we can deliver to you wherever you are. And let me remind you it is only valid for two days”

“two only? I am going back to Canada next Friday”

“I am sorry. Then you will miss it, but we still can deliver it to your home in UK “

“Well, okay I will give you the address then"

And Louis’s heart was literally dancing.

Louis wrote the address down, he was in Cheshire. Okay that was more than three hours car drive. But he made his mind. First thing in the morning. He would do it.

******  
Louis knocked two times at the Winchester door. It was after midday, he was hungry and tired, he was worried and anxious.  
The door was opened and a very tall handsome man with a long hair showed up 

“how can I help you?”

Louis said hesitated “ Sam Winchester?”

The man nodded “that would be me"

Louis nodded “my name is Louis.. Louis Tomlinson. I am a friend of your brother"

The man frowned and looked at Louis up and down “friend of Harry?”

“yes, yes Harry. I was looking for him and I have no idea where to find him. Someone told me he might be here"

The man Sam snorted “well, that would be impossible Harry would never come back here, I don’t know where he is"

Louis closed his eyes, he felt he was going to collapse and he could lose hope now “ listen to me. I know you’ve been calling him. Please I need to find him"

Sam stared at him for few seconds and then he gave him a room to enter. 

Louis entered warily, he didn’t calculate if it was right or wrong, he just wanted to find Harry 

“I did called him recently. The old man was too sick and he wanted to see Harry"

0

Louis nodded “that’s why you returned home"

Sam narrowed his eyes “ you know a lot about us"

“Told you he is a friend “

Sam nodded “ tea?” 

Sam said and walked inside , Louis only said “thank you"

“Follow me"

So Louis did.

Inside the kitchen. Sam was making tea “Louis tomlinson? Harry never told me about you. Are you close?”

Louis smiled “ Harry never tells you anything, I know you are not close.”

Sam only nodded and poured the hot water “we were before"

“You mean before leaving him to your father"

Sam looked at him with a big frown then he said “ I wanted to take him with me. I couldn’t. But once I was settled I tried to contact him..but he ran away"

“of course he would. Don’t expect him to stay with an abuser like your father"

Sam nodded “ I know, he wasn’t a good man, he treated us bad, that’s why he asked to see him before he dies, I called Harry and told him"

Louis only looked at Sam , Sam said “ five days ago , he died. I called Harry and told him not to bother, father was dead anyway"

Louis opened his mouth “ I don’t know what to say"

Sam only shrugged “ everyone dies eventually “

“ and you blame him for this"

Sam answered immediately “no"

“You called Harry and asked him to face his demon just to please your old man"

Sam chuckled and shook his head “ I did it for Harry. I know Harry deserves an apology from father. I know what he caused him and if I had a clue I would never have left him alone with him"

Sam looked sincere, it bothered Louis, he wanted to hate Sam like Niall said, but Louis knew Sam also ran his father violent abuse.

“ do you know where he is?”

Sam looked at Louis then he shook his head “all I know he lives in London”

Louis rubbed his face , Sam said “ he means that much to you?”

Louis nodded “ I looked everywhere. I thought.. no I believed I will find him here"

Sam only shrugged “ I am sorry about that.but if he called me or anything, I will tell him you are looking for him"

Louis shook his head “ that would be unnecessary “

“may I know why are you looking? I mean why is he hiding?”

Louis only shrugged “ I guess not only your father who owns him an apology “

Sam looked furious “ did you hurt him?”

“no!!! Of course not. I mean not physically… I mean.. “ he huffed “ maybe I did somehow “

Sam nodded his head sadly, Louis stood up “ I have to go , sorry for bothering you"

Sam stood up too, he followed Louis to outside , Louis looked at him “ that phone call from amazon"

Sam giggled “ that was you?”

Louis smiled sorry “I am sorry, but I needed too bad to find him"

Sam nodded “ you will. But when you do. Please don’t hurt him again"

Louis nodded his head and walked outside. Sam watched till Louis entered his car and drove away.

He closed the door and he said “ alright , you idiot he is gone"

Then Sam moved to the stairs where Harry was sitting, tears in his eyes and looking down.


	13. Chapter 13

Sam sat beside him and he sighed “ you are scaring me Harry, why are you this sad?”

Harry didn’t give him any answer 

" my offer is still on"

Harry wiped his tears and rubbed his eyes, he took a deep breath and then he said “ okay"

“ I mean it, you are more than welcome. You are gonna love Canada, my kids are dying to meet you, young harry wants to meet uncle Harry"

Harry gave a sincere smile “ I still can’t believe you have kids"

Sam giggled “ me too , they are good kids. Although they are only three but they mean the world to me"

Harry only nodded, Sam patted his thigh “ come on, there is two hot cups of tea waiting “ 

Together they stood up and walked to the kitchen. 

Harry sat at where Louis was sitting, his smell was still around and it hurt Harry’s heart. He closed his eyes to control himself, he didn’t want to cry again 

" aren’t you telling me who is Mr. Tomlinson?”

Harry shrugged “ a friend “

Sam was watching Harry “ I think he is more than a friend “

Harry shook his head staring at the tea “ no"

Sam was feeling sorry for his little brother , he then sighed “ how did you know he was coming though?”

Harry looked at Sam “ a friend texted me"

Sam smiled “ a lot of friends you have"

" I am okay"

Sam took a sip of the tea and then he said “ he cares, he was really worried about you. When I told him you aren’t here I could swear I saw him panicking “

Harry nodded his head 

Sam sighed “ what is going on with you little brother?”

Harry looked at him and then he chuckled “don’t get me wrong Sam, but you’re only here because you knew he was dying, you came to take his money"

"Harry-" Sam looked at him angrily , then he huffed “ we both know he didn’t deserve anything from us. We both deserve the money he left"

" I don’t want anything from him"

Sam snorted “ well, there is nothing anyway, he was a fucking alcoholic ..he spent everything in drinking"

Harry didn’t comment at all , Sam then said “ I know you are angry at me , I know you blame me for leaving you behind, but … I couldn’t take it anymore Harry , I was fucking twenty two and he was beating the shit out of me, stealing my money , and he fucking raped my girlfriend… I couldn’t stay"

Harry rubbed his face, he didn’t want to remember those awful memories “ I know, but you could have told me"

" and he would have killed you" 

"He almost did” Harry snapped

Sam didn’t talk, Harry added “ he stabbed me four fucking times. I was supposed to die, I don’t even know how or why I made it alive" Harry was getting angry, then he stood up “ and you weren't there, I was all alone and no one was there, when I wake up in the hospital bed he was there , he threatened me if I opened my mouth he would kill me, he would finish his job.. I was alone and hurt and he was still threatening me" Harry was crying now, he wiped his eyes and screamed “ god! I don’t want to remember this"

Sam stood up, he was crying too, he walked closer to Harry and he hugged him so tight “ I am sorry , I am so sorry Harry, if I knew ..if I had an idea about what would happen I would have come to you, I swear to God I would have come and saved you. I didn’t know" 

Harry hugged him back “ don’t go, please Sam don’t leave me"

Sam was really scared, he cupped his face and said “ come with me" 

Harry shook his head , Sam was crying “ please Harry, my kids are there, my wife my life.. I can’t stay here, come with me"

Harry shook his head, Sam said “why?”

Harry shook his face , Sam was still cupping his face “ why?”

Harry sobbed “ I can’t leave them, I can’t leave mom, or Gemma, I can’t leave Liam" 

Sam didn’t know how to answer that, he just hugged him again so tight.

Harry patted Sam’s shoulder, and he pulled away “ I am okay" 

He wiped his tears and took a deep breath, he clutched his chest and obviously he was struggling to have a full breath “ I am gonna go and have a walk"

"Harry-"

But Harry was walking out of the kitchen “ I will be okay"

Sam followed him Harry was wearing his gucci shoes and Sam was watching “ don’t forget to bring your meds"

"Okay"

" I mean it Harry, if what happened yesterday happens again I will call the ambulance “

Harry dressed his coat and looked at Sam “ don’t worry about it"

He opened the door and was walking away, Sam said louder “ I mean it Harry"

But Harry didn’t talk, he walked away and Sam watched till he disappeared , then he closed the door.  
******

It was dark and very cold, it was raining heavily but Harry didn’t care. he was in front of Liam’s grave, lying on the ground and soaked in water, eyes closed and water was covering his face.

" I know liam, I know. Don’t worry about my asthma",

Then he opened his eyes and looked at the stone “ no one cares like you did" then he sighed “ did you really have to go? Did you have to leave me alone? I am too lost without you Liam"

Then he stood up “ it hurts Liam, I know I promised you but I can’t, I just can’t “ 

He put his hand in his pocket “ Sam asked me to buy my meds, I told him I will.. and I went to the store.. but I didn’t bring the meds I need though, I bought my sleeping pills” he chuckled “ I didn’t notice till I was out of the store, it is like my mind is trying to tell me something or make me do something “

He sighed and closed his eyes “ I don’t know if I wanna do this, I Don’t feel like I wanna do this. I know there is no one to save me , not you nor Zayn.” He shook his head “ no, I am not scared, I am ready.. but it’s Zayn and Naill. I promised Zayn I will be his daughter’s godfather" he wiped his face from water or tears “ she deserves much better ..I know I am good Liam but come on.” He then snorted “ Louis was right after all, I am a slut"

Then he stopped talking for few seconds “he came for me. He says he wants to apologize. Yes , I think he should know I forgave him, I Don’t want him to feel guilty, but I don’t have his number. I sent Naill a text though to tell him I forgave him"

He then put out the sleeping pill container from his pocket and he looked at it “ they say it’s painless, I don’t care if it will hurt , I am already in pain. I am always in pain."

" I will be happy Liam, at least I will be with you and mom. I miss mom, and Gemma. I miss you"

" Sam will be hurt? For quiet time but eventually he will be okay, he has a family now. Can you believe it, he has kids, twins a boy and a girl. He named the boy Harry “ he smiled “Sam says he has great eyes and two dimples too. He asked me To go with him but I can’t, I can’t leave you .. I just can’t “

He nodded “ Zayn and Niall will be sad I know, specially Niall. I mean he might feel guilty because he rented the room, he rented our room Liam!! It’s our room.” He huffed “ I know he needs the money but still.. it is our room and now I have no place to go, the landlord will evacuate my room, I am too behind and the money I took from Louis was supposed to be for it but you know I returned it back so .. maybe that’s another reason to go away. To leave this world behind. It’s not happy anymore, I am not happy anymore Liam" then he cried 

He cried and sobbed, he hide his face in his hand and he cried “ I am not happy and I want it to stop. The pain in my heart is too much and I slept with him and I was happy for less than a day, I thought he cared about me. I thought someone finally loved me again, but I was wrong" he cried again “I was wrong Liam. No one will ever love me. No one but you, that’s why I should be with you"

He then opened the container with a shaking hands, he put all the pills in his hand and he looked at them, he wasn’t scared, he was ready, he was ready to say goodbye to this cruel world, to his pain, to everyone who hurt him before . Then he suddenly saw Louis in front of him , he closed his eyes because his mind was also cruel, he was playing games with him. Louis was the only one he wanted to see, although he hurt him but he still wanted to see him, to tell him goodbye, to hear him apologize, to give him another kiss and another hug. 

Too late 

Harry took a deep breath, he was going to put the pills in his mouth when someone shouted 

" don’t “ 

Harry suddenly froze, he opened his eyes and looked in front of him.

" please don’t “

Harry shook his head “ you are not real" , he shook his head again hysterically “your not real, my mind is playing games" because in front of him was Louis 

" I am here Harry, please.. Don’t do this"

Then Louis walked closer and stood right in front of him, the rain was covering him , he was soaked in water and Harry didn’t know if Louis was crying or that was the rain .

Louis then touched his hand that had the pills “ don’t “

Harry was still staring at Louis to figure out if he was imagining him or not, Louis lowered Harry’s hand down but suddenly harry pulled his hand away, and he pushed Louis “ no, I don’t want to be here anymore" 

Then he screamed repeatedly “ I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want to be here anymore" 

Louis was shocked, he looked clueless, he didn’t know what to do, he was too scared and too frightened that Harry would do something stupid .

He was going to touch Harry again but Harry screamed “don’t touch me , why can’t you just let me go, I want to go and no one can stop me this time, stop stopping me" he was screaming his lungs out, he was too angry and too sad and that literally broke Louis’ heart 

Louis shook his head “I can’t let you go , you can’t go"

" yes, I can, I want to go. No one needs me I want to go”

He was going to touch him but Harry again screamed “ don’t touch me"

Louis raised his hands up “ okay, okay, just hear me out okay.. please give me a chance to explain to you give me a chance"

" I already forgave you, just go..leave me alone"

" listen to me Harry, I know you are hurt and broken. But you still have the opportunity to make things right, give me that opportunity inl want to make things right for you"

Harry cried again " no you don’t "

"But I do. I want to do this Harry"

"Why? You feel sorry for me" Harry screamed 

"No"

"Yes"

"No, because I love you"

Harry stopped talking, he was frozen and staring at Louis. Louis again got closer and said " I love you" 

" kiss me" Harry said between sobs 

And louis cupped his face and he kissed him , tears were mixed with rain. Harry's body was trembling, his lips were so cold, his face was cold, he was cold. And Louis wanted to hug him closer and to hide him inside of him, warm him, he wanted to hide him from all the pain. But even while they were kissing Harry didn’t stop crying.  
They pulled away and Harry was looking at him , Louis said " I love you"

Harry only said " I am sorry"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is it? Poor Harry.. do you think Louis will be able to make him change his mind


	14. Chapter 14

Harry was again going to swallow the pills, but Louis rushed and hugged him. He hugged him so tight,

Louis cried “don’t do it Harry, please. I need you"

Harry was shocked, he was still shaking but he was shocked from Louis behavior , he was frozen and his mind too

" I love you, I want you…please. Give me a chance to prove to you how much I love you"

Harry didn’t hug back, then his mind was racing, he wanted to do it now, he was ready, nothing could stop him.

"I love you, Niall , Zayn, Gigi love you.. my family loves you. My mom, my sisters..look, look" he pulled away and he put his hand in his pocket, he put out his wallet and he made sure Harry was watching him, he put out the drawing Earnest did it for Harry “my little brother drew this for you" then he put out the bracelet “ and Doris…Doris made this for you"

Harry was looking, he smiled “it is beautiful “

Louis nodded hastily “yeah.. yeah.. she asked me to give it to you"

Harry nodded still looking at the bracelet, Louis “ do you want to try it? I am sure it will fit you"

Harry nodded, he stretched his hand and Louis walked closer, first he took the pills and then he dressed him with a shaking hand the bracelet right behind Liam's old one, and smiled “see, it fits you"  
Louis threw the pills away without being noticed.

Harry was staring at the bracelet “ I loved your family" 

Louis was still holding Harry’s hand “you still can"

“ I am not what they think I am" 

" you are better than what they think"

Harry looked at him, and said with a broken voice “ i am fake"

Louis shook his head “ you are real" 

Harry smiled “ for a minute I wished this was real"

" we can make it real Harry, we can.. you and me we can go through this together, I am not gonna leave you I promise “

Harry looked down and cried “don’t.. Don’t promise me that"

He looked again at Louis “I told you not to fall in love with me" 

Louis shrugged “ it’s hard not to" 

Harry closed his eyes and tears cascaded his face “ everyone loved me left. I can’t do this again, it is my time to leave"

Louis again shook his head “ no, it’s not. Give me the chance .. give me the chance to fix everything “

" You can’t fix me"

Louis nodded “ I know I can’t, but I can help you to fix yourself. i want to help you to get better. It will be okay"

Harry was staring at him, Louis said again “ it will be okay.” 

He hugged Harry again “ I will be there, I won’t go anywhere, I am with you"

And finally Harry hugged back and finally Louis breathed.

They stayed till god knows when, but Louis whispered “ I’m freezing Hazza, let’s get inside the car" 

Harry nodded and Louis took his hand and guided him to the car, he closed the door behind him and ran to jump behind the wheel. He rubbed his hands together to get some warm although it was impossible. He turned on the heater and he grasped Harry’s hand to give him some warm. Harry wasn’t looking at him he was gazing downward. Louis did it unintentionally just like he was taking care of his younger siblings.

Harry’s heart wrenched for the touch, Louis wasn’t even looking at Harry he was raising the heater “ you need to take off your coat, your gonna upset your asthma ” then he helped him to take it off, then Louis did the same.

Louis then rested his back, and he breathed. He took a long relaxing breath. Harry finally looked at him, Louis’s face was restless and he looked so tired and exhausted, Harry hated the idea of Louis doing all this effort for him 

" how did you know where to find me?” Harry finally asked  
Louis opened his eyes and looked at him, his eyes were red and Harry knew Louis was trying not to cry in front of him 

" I saw your gucci shoes and I waited outside your home, then I followed you" 

Harry nodded his head he looked down again “ they are Liam’s.. so as my clothes. He loved this brand" 

Louis smiled “it is a good brand" 

" he was very classy, he knew how to dress. I know you talked to Niall and I know he told you about him" 

Louis nodded “ I did" 

" I know you did, that’s why you are here" 

Louis sighed “ I don’t feel sorry for you Harry, I wanted to find you even before Niall told me your story" 

Harry only nodded but he didn’t believe .

Louis took his hand again “ promise me something “ 

Harry looked at him , louis continued “ you won’t try to do it again. You will give me a chance, you will give yourself a chance" 

Harry looked down 

"Promise me Harry" 

Harry murmured “ it is hard . And it hurts so much, I want the pain to go away, Every time I tried to do it someone had to be there, I don’t know why you keep saving me. I don’t deserve to be saved , I deserve to be with my family "

Louis swallowed “ I don’t think your family will want you to be with them this way Harry" 

“ they are dead Louis, they wouldn’t care" he didn’t mean to be angry, but he hated these kind of words, Liam used to tell him that and he believed him, and now Liam was dead 

" Harry I know how do you feel, and don’t tell me I don’t, I lost my sister remember. My mom is dying so I understand, I understand the pain and I know it never goes away. But this is not how to fix it" 

Harry shrugged “ we don’t have to fix everything in life" 

"Then you have to accept it, you need to accept life Hazza, because it worth living" 

Harry didn’t answer that 

Louis pressed his hand softer “ please, promise me. I need to make sure you will be okay" 

" maybe I will lie" 

Louis shook his head “ I think I learnt to trust you" 

Harry looked at him with tears in his eyes, but Louis only smiled “ it will be okay" 

Harry slowly nodded, he wasn’t sure if he believed Louis or not , but he wanted to for now 

" I promise “ 

Louis nodded his head in a relief, he thought he would feel better when Harry says those words but his chest closed on him and he just cried.

Harry was watching him “ I am sorry “

Louis shook his head several times “ it’s just.. I was too scared" 

" I am sorry “ he said again softly 

Louis smiled and wiped his tears with his other hand “ no, I am sorry Harry” 

They stayed silent for about ten minutes when Louis finally said “where do you want to go?” 

Harry took a deep breath “ can you take me back home, to Sam?”

Louis nodded “ okay?" 

Harry sighed “ I am sure he is too angry, I thought when they tell him about my body he will finally forgive me" 

Louis winced at that, Harry shrugged “ sorry, it sounded better in my head" 

Louis started the car and they drove to Harry’s home in silence.  
When Louis parked the car, he saw Sam was standing at the stairs trying to figure out who was there in the dark . When he finally saw Harry coming out of the car he yelled

“ what the hell Harry? I was too fucking worried, I called the police" 

It was when Louis just understood what Harry meant earlier. Harry knew Sam would freak out and call the police, Harry knew that Sam would give them the places Harry might be in including Liam’s grave.

Sam then noticed Louis but he didn’t talk, he let them in and closed the door behind him, he looked at his brother “ damn Harry, your lips are blue and you are shaking"

Harry sighed and looked at Sam “ I need some sleep" 

Sam shook his head “not in this shape, you will die. Go have a hot bath" 

" sam" 

" Harry, go"

Harry looked at Louis, but Sam said “I will keep his company, just go"

Louis smiled and nodded his head, Sam looked at Louis “you look awful too, where were you?” 

Louis only shrugged “ can I have my cup of tea?” 

Harry sighed and walked inside while Sam guided Louis again to the kitchen. Then he took his phone and he called someone "yes Mark, no he is here" he glanced at Louis then he said "okay, I will call you later"

Louis sat and he was freezing too, Sam looked at him “ you are wet" 

Louis nodded “ it is raining"

Sam sighed “I can find you something to wear, you will get sick this way" 

"I will be fine"

Sam shook his head “ no, you won’t..”

Louis was really tired “ can I drink my tea first then?” 

Sam finally nodded and pressed the boiler “ where did you find him? And how?”

Louis shrugged “ I knew he was here, I saw his shoes and I knew" 

Sam cursed under his breath “he made me lie to you"

"I know" 

"He was too sad though. So what? Did wait outside and followed him?”

Louis nodded “ yeah, exactly “

" where did he go?”

" The store, then To Liam” 

Sam closed his eyes, he was expecting this but he didn’t know what to do when he heard it.

Sam gave Louis his tea “he just can't get over him. He was in love deeply “ 

Louis nodded and cupped the cup to get some warm.

Sam sighed “I am not a bad person. If you know his story then you know his friends, I know they hate me but.. I am really not a bad person. I love my brother but I just don’t know how to help him" 

Louis sighed “ he doesn’t want your help. He wants to be saved"

Sam snapped his head up, Louis sighed “ I saved his life. He wanted to die two hours ago”

Sam was truly shocked , he gasped and then he hide his face “he did it again" 

" and I am not sure he won’t try again" 

Sam looked at him “were you there the last time?”

Louis shook his head “ no, I only met Harry ten days ago" 

Sam frowned “ and you came after him and saved his life?”

Louis shrugged 

Sam sighed “ he has to come with me. I can leave him alone again" 

" take him where ? To Canada?” Louis’s heart dropped, because Harry can’t leave him now

" He doesn’t want to come, says he can’t leave his family and Liam"

Louis didn’t talk he took a big sip of his tea to calm down.

"He was a good lad , Liam. He loved him so much. I mean when I finally found Harry after one year of looking, I asked him to come but he said he had Liam. He couldn’t leave him. He sounded happy. I mean he had an awful time previously, he was attacked and he left home and lived in the streets, so I know how he loved Liam. Liam was calling me to tell me about Harry, he was taking good care of him and watching over him. I was calling them from time to time. I knew he was in a good hand” then he sighed “I wanted to come, when Liam died, I wanted to, my wife was pregnant and she was too sick. He is family but she has no one in Canada. It was when I knew Zayn and Niall. They told me he was struggling but I never thought he would try to end his life. When Zayn told me, I lost my mind. My wife went into labor the exact day, I was going to lose her. I didn’t know what to do. My wife and my brother, and then there were my twins alone... I couldn’t come. When she finally left the hospital a month later Zayn and Niall told me Harry was doing much better. I couldn’t come and I know he thinks I don’t care about him" 

Louis put his empty cup down “ have you talked?” 

Sam shook head “I haven’t seen him ever since “ 

Louis nodded his head “ he understands, he loves you “Louis didn’t want to tell him he heard everything Harry said in front of Liam’s grave. He just skipped that part

Sam looked at him “ come on, let’s find you something to wear"  
*****  
Louis was waiting for Harry in Harry’s bedroom, it was the basement in fact, it had a small bed and a small closet. But at least it was warm.

Louis was this close from sleeping but he wanted to see Harry , he wanted to make sure he was okay. When Harry finally entered the room he didn’t look better, maybe cleaner but not better. His eyes and nose were red so obviously he was crying, his body was still trembling and his breathing was rigid. Louis smiled when their eyes met , Harry walked and opened his back bag he put out his inhaler and took two puffs.

"Are you okay? “ Louis asked 

Harry shrugged and sat beside Louis on the bed , he looked at what Louis was wearing, Louis smiled “ I was freezing and your brother offered, I am sorry I should have asked you first but I couldn’t feel my limps" 

Harry only nodded.

"Can we stay the night here? I really can barely open my eyes"  
Again Harry nodded 

" can we lie down?” Louis asked and Harry nodded.

Together they lied on the small bed. Their heads were touching, Harry’s body was too warm and Louis like that  
Louis said “I like your room"

" it is not my room" Harry said, Louis frowned but Harry said “ I had a big room upstairs. When Sam left I moved in here. It was safer. I could hear his footsteps coming down to me... to get ready I guess” he shrugged again.

Louis didn’t talk.

" he wasn’t always that bad. He was a homophobe, but he never showed it when mom was alive. I don’t know if she was protecting me or he didn’t care. Right after her death... I just buried her and I didn’t want to leave. Sam stayed with me till after midnight. When we returned home, he was already drunk. He attacked Sam that night, he was trying to protect me so the old man put all his anger on him. Next morning when he was super and he saw what he did to his own son... he blamed me and marked his hands on me. It was when it started.” 

Louis took Harry’s hand and kissed it “you didn’t deserve this"

Harry only closed his eyes. he didn’t talk again so did Louis. Finally, they slept.  
*****  
Louis opened his eyes panicking, he was hyperventilating and he was feeling too scared. The place wasn’t so dark and he could see and feel someone was beside him. He chuckled his eyes and opened it again maybe he could see clearly and he could. Slowly he calmed down. He was with Harry at Harry’s home, memories of last night showered his brain and he lied again. He tried to have a full breath and to calm his heart down. He reached his hand and took his phone from the next night stand. 6 am it said. It was too early but he knew he couldn't sleep again.

He looked at Harry again, he was on his stomach, his face was directed to Louis. He wasn’t moving. Louis watched his back and for a second he was going to panic again… but he saw Harry’s back raised and failed. . Okay he was still breathing. He was still alive.

Louis left the bed , he couldn’t even try to sleep again and he was very hungry.

He walked towards the door and he saw the lock was broken, and the door was in a bad shape, it expressed the anger the door witnessed during the abuse Harry faced.

Louis only sighed and didn’t want to think about Harry’s past. He walked to kitchen he just wanted some water and maybe some tea. Once he entered Sam was sitting there.

“ you are up early?” Louis asked

Sam looked at him “ couldn’t really sleep"

Louis sat in front of him, Sam added “ I am trying to figure out a way to take him come with me"

Louis snapped his head up “ what? He said he doesn’t want to go “

Sam shook his head “ I am not leaving him again. I am not gonna wait for the phone call that tells me he fucking offed himself “ 

Louis noticed how nervous Sam was , he looked tired he was exhausted and his eyes were swollen 

“he is not gonna do this"

“you don’t know that..”

“I Don’t. But I will make sure he won’t “

“No offence but you only have known him For ten days, you just said it. You Don’t know him. You don’t know anything about him" 

“but I am ready to do it. I am ready to stay, I know I will" 

Sam looked at him “ you like him, don’t you?”

“I do. Yeah. And I am ready for him. I mean... he is broken i know but he wants to live , he wants to be happy"

“He doesn’t know how to be happy,” Sam snapped “ he tried to end his life three times ... do you know how scary that is? I can’t just leave knowing he might try to do this again. I just can’t “

Louis was watching how panicked sam was “i can take care of him"

“you don’t know what you are putting yourself through"

“ I know. Stop seeing less of me. I can and I will. If he doesn’t want to go with you then he stays. I will be there for him”

Sam jumped on his feet “ do you think it’s a joke? Do you know how serious this is? I can’t lose him too. I lost everyone , he the only family left and he doesn’t want to stay”

“ I will stay" they both snapped their heads towards the voice. Harry was leaning on the kitchen door “stop blaming yourself Sam"

Then he entered “and stop worrying about me. I am an adult i know how to take care of myself. I don’t need your help" he looked between Sam and Louis.

Sam looked down but Louis said “itis okay to ask for help. It’s okay to let people help you. You are obviously in pain and-" 

Harry groaned “ i am always in pain.” Then he rubbed his face “ everything hurts. My head, my body, my heart. All hurt and I am trying.. fuck I am struggling to show you the best of me, it’s okay to feel tired , sometimes it is okay to let go"

Sam cried “ you want to die Harry"

Harry looked at Sam “ yes Sam. I wanted to die. I was ready, finally I was brave to do it. But I keep failing" then he looked at Louis “ maybe because there is something waiting for me"

Louis nodded his head and smiled. 

Harry walked to Sam and hugged him “ I love you Sam. I don’t blame you. Maybe I hated you for leaving me but not for what he did to me"

Sam only sobbed but Harry cupped his face “ you are gonna go now to your family, and you’re gonna send me photos of them, you are gonna let them call me all the time. And I will be fine. I am not alone now . I have louis"

Louis was smiling but it was when he saw it, he knew Harry was lying , Harry was only trying to convince his brother that everything would be okay.

Sam hugged Harry again. Harry looked at Louis while rubbing his brother’s back. His eyes begged him to go with this. Louis only looked down and didn’t talk.

Two hours later, Harry and Louis were in Louis' car heading back to London. They finally left Sam after Harry promising him over and over that everything would be okay. Louis somehow believed everything would be okay. He looked at Harry while driving , Harry was sleeping deeply, and Louis didn’t know what was next. All he knew he wanted Harry , he wanted Harry all the way. And he was sure he would never let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still with me?


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentioning of past suicidal attempt

When Louis stopped the car, Harry finally opened his eyes, he was sleeping ever since he stepped inside the car, just like the last time they travelled together. 

“ where are we?” Harry asked groggery , looking around him  
“ my home" 

Harry looked at him “ no"

But Louis took his hand and squeezed, he was already tired and he couldn’t really argue “please, let’s just get inside and eat something cause I am starving, then we can talk about everything “

HARRY was looking at their hands, then he looked at Louis and nodded.

*******  
Louis changed his clothes really fast, he offered Harry a clean ones but Harry refused, said he was okay with his sweatpants and comfy hoodie. LOUIS made them fast breakfast, he was really hungry so he put everything out from his fridge and made whatever he could.

Harry barely touched his food, Louis noticed but he did comment. 

“can I have another cup of tea?”Harry asked across the table.  
Louis nodded “ of course,” he stood up “aren’t you eating anything?”

Harry shook his head “not really hungry “

Okay, Louis could understand that, Harry wanted to finish his life few hours ago, of course he didn’t have an appetite at the moment.

Louis put the filled cup of tea in front of him, he sat again in front of Harry and said “are you ready?”

Harry frowned and looked at him “ for what?”

Louis said “ we need to talk"

Harry chuckled “no we don’t “

And louis was shocked, Harry added while squeezing his eyes with his fingers “listen. I appreciate the effort you did last night, okay..I got it you were trying to apologize and you found me at the fucking wrong time" then he looked at Louis “but that’s it" 

“Harry , what are you talking about?”

Harry shrugged “ I am just trying to clarify everything “

“ clarify what?”

Harry huffed “ what do you want from me?”

Louis was getting angry “you know what I want from you.i just told you-"

Harry gritted his teeth “don’t say you love me cause you don’t “

Louis snapped “Fuck Harry!. How can I prove it?”

Harry then narrowed his eyes “are you a lunatic? How come you love me? You don’t even know me"

“I know you. I have seen you"

“where? Cause staying period with your family doesn’t count, it was all your beautiful imagination. You wrote down for me what do you expect from me. … that wasn’t me at all"

Louis sighed “Harry , Don’t get us back there “

Harry jumped on his feet “there is no us"

Louis stood up too, he was terribly shocked “ what happened to you? You told your brother-"

“ oh God! Did you fall for that? I thought you know better" he gave a high frustrated panicked laugh

“ what do you mean?”

Harry snapped again “ it means I wanted him to leave me the hell alone. He wasn’t planning to leave and he has a family waiting for him. He had to leave and I had to convince him I am not alone"

“You are not alone-"

“stop talking like you know me" Harry groaned 

Louis finally snapped back “fine Harry, tell me.. tell me who you really are? Tell me so we can get it over with , what do you want to tell me" he crossed his arms on his chest and waited 

Harry stopped talking for a second , then he shook his head snorting “you think you really want me, you think you really love me" 

“I can speak for myself. now, you explain who you are”

“no" 

“why not?”

Harry yelled “ because I don’t have to explain anything to you , to any one .It is my life and I want to do whatever I want" 

Louis kept his calmness “ like offing yourself “ 

Harry yelled again “ like whatever I want ,no one has a say"

Louis shook his head , he wanted to cry but he couldn’t, he knew it would make things worse, he knew Harry was so confused, hurt depressed, he knew Harry was shutting himself.

“ I can’t let you do this" 

Harry took a deep breath “ why Louis? Why do you care this much? Stop feeling sorry for me"

“ God Harry, I told you I don’t “ 

“ then it’s guilt”

Louis snapped “ or maybe it’s love. Maybe I love you I don’t know how or when but I do… and if you don’t feel the same for me which I know it’s not true… we slept together -“

Harry shook his head “not because I love you, because I needed … because… fuck. Your boyfriend just called me a whore and you fucking believed him, I needed to … fucking revenge.. I needed to sleep with you so you can know what it feels to sleep with a slut"

Louis yelled “stop saying this. God.. you keep mentioning this, I am sorry okay.. I didn’t know"

Harry chuckled “ you will always be like that, you sleep with me and the next morning someone says anything about me and you believe it.. because you can’t stop thinking of me as a whore"

“Harry you weren’t-"

“But what if I was “ he screamed 

Louis stopped talking , Harry said “I was… I worked as a bartender but .. I desperately was in need of money so yeah.. it was one time I slept with a man for money. Your boyfriend was right, I was a slut Louis.. this is who I am, can you love me now?” 

Louis was shocked, tears formed rapidly in his eyes and he said with a broken voice “you are lying “ 

And Harry gave a frustrated laugh “I knew it"

Louis added wiping his eyes before tears fall “ zayn said -"

“ no one knows okay, well except for Liam.”

Louis nodded , so that was true , he swallowed thickly , he took a deep breath to calm down and walked closer “ I don’t care. It was in the past, everyone has his mistakes “

Harry snorted “ Don’t lie to yourself. You won’t be able to live with this. You can’t love me" 

But Louis shook his head “ I can" 

“No, no one loves a whore Louis” 

“ Liam. did" 

Harry snapped at Louis again “Liam was stupid. He was stupid he thought he could do it, he thought he could fight everyone for me .. but guess what he lost the battle and he fucking left me alone “ Harry sobbed saying the last words. Then he covered his face and he cried hard.

Louis walked more closer, he then hesitated put his hand on Harry’s shaking shoulder “ I don’t know why you are pushing me away Harry" 

Harry shook his head “ I can’t do that, I can’t put you through that" 

“ Harry, what are you talking about"

Harry looked at him but he didn’t yell “ there will be always Nick, there will always be someone, someone who can’t accept me, a family member, a friend ..and you will always try to fight them.. and i can’t do it anymore. I am tired Louis , I am so tired and I want all the pain to go away"

Louis sighed, he tugged Harry’s curl behind his ear “ I don’t know what’s in your head curly, but I don’t care about what people say or think. You don’t know how my life was.. you don’t know how I struggled so they can accept me between them, and I am ready to fight again for you if that what sacres you" 

“but I Don’t worth it"

“ please, don’t talk this way about yourself . Of course you worth it"

Harry was crying freely “ you will regret it, I am awful Louis I have a lot of shit around me you Don’t deserve this" 

Louis again sighed “ why don’t you let me decide then?, okay. Harry I’m adult enough to know what I’m putting myself through. I know and I want this" 

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, he didn’t stop crying and that literally shattered Louis' heart into pieces, okay he didn’t know what he was putting himself through, he really didn’t know if he loved Harry that much, he didn’t know if he could do stay and never leave as he promised. But he only knew one thing, he knew if Harry gave him a chance he would do whatever it takes to make it work.

Louis was very tired and exhausted , his mind was killing him and he just wanted to shut it down.

Harry sat again on the kitchen table and Louis sat in front of him “please eat anything “ 

Harry closed his eyes and shook his head “ can i sleep?” 

Louis didn’t expect that , Harry slept the whole way and the whole night, but Louis didn’t want to argue “ sure” 

Then he stood up , so did Harry. Louis headed towards the bedroom but Harry froze outside the kitchen, Louis looked at him “ what?”

“ where are you going?”

“ bed room" 

Harry shook his head “ no, the couch" 

Louis shook his head too “ no, I am tired.we will sleep on the bed" 

Harry didn’t move, so Louis sighed “ just for few hours, when night comes you can have the couch”

Harry slowly walked after Louis.

Louis’s bed room was big, neat and classy. Harry liked it so much, the huge king size bed was in the middle and right in front of of it was the big screen. It felt different than the rest of the flat. It felt Louis.

Harry looked at the bed and at Louis “ are you sleeping alone on this"

Louis was removing the covers, he looked at Harry and rolled his eyes “ I move a lot, you will see" 

Harry tried to smile “I feel nothing when I am sleeping”

He said it genuinely but Louis winced deep inside.

Together they lie their exhausted bodies on the bed, their backs were resting on the headboard. And then Harry looked at Louis “ how was the wedding?”

Louis looked at Harry surprised , then he shrugged “ okay , I guess" 

Harry nodded his head “ I sent Zayn the photos , I edited them, did he tell you" 

Louis shook his head “I guess he is busy with his new baby"

Harry’s slowly nodded, he looked down “ have you seen her? The baby?”

Louis smiled deeply “ she is gorgeous. Really beautiful “

Harry swallowed and nodded his head sadly, Louis couldn’t understand him of course . 

“ Harry? Are you on sleeping pills ?” 

Harry looked at him, louis was nervous “ I mean, you sleep a lot, you always look exhausted..so?”

Harry sighed “ it makes the pain go away"

Louis didn’t talk at the start, but he felt Harry was abusing the prescription so he had to ask “ does your doctor know that? That you are taking them daily?”

Harry shook his head “ they were not written for me", Louis frowned and Harry added “they were for Liam, but I could cheat the system after he died. So I don’t know, it just worked. They work and i sleep, so as the pain killers .."

" Harry, it doesn't work this way" 

Harry shrugged " it kills the pain"

“ does your doctor know?”

“I Don’t have a doctor Louis. How can I afford a doctor.”

Louis was shocked but he nodded “ so you don’t know what's with you? I mean you said you were sick, do you know how sick?"

Harry nodded “ I am sick. I mean after the .... after i was stabbed and i am not the same anymore. Back at hospital they mentioned if i felt anything wrong I should return back, of course I felt something was horriboy wrong with me, I couldn’t return back i ran away , and If I had returned to the hospital  
they would have told my step dad. Liam took me to a doctor years after i was getting worse i guess, and he said something about my heart , he told me I was too late, too late for what?. He wrote me some meds and said I might need a surgery or something. I took the meds for a while and it made me better but.. then I stopped. When he died I stopped"

Louis only nodded his head, he was feeling terrified. Harry was playing with his new bracelet while talking and Louis felt restless so he changed the subject but he made a mental note for taking Harry to the doctor himself.

“ Doris will be crazy when she knows you are wearing it"

Harry gave a truthful smile and nodded “ maybe you can take a picture of me and show her"

And that was a great sign, Harry was making plans for future, it meant he was planning to stay for a while 

Louis nodded hopefully “yeah, yeah .. I will do that" 

Harry nodded and looked back at the bracelets “ Liam bought me this. It wasn’t our anniversary , but I used to express anger on my wrests “ he slowly moved the bracelets away and Louis could see faint marks around his wrest and a big specific one , he knew what was that, it was the scar from his last attempt  
Louis slowly touched the scars, and then he rubbed the big one softly 

“I made it wrong, they say it should be vertical ,they say it goes a long the veins, I didn’t know that, but it hurt anyway and I stayed in hospital for days. I hate hospitals" 

“Why?” Louis only whispered , he didn’t mean to say it loud but he just did .

“ I am always in pain. I just want the pain to stop" 

Louis looked at him , Harry looked back “ my life was normal one day ,like anyone.. suddenly nothing seems right again. Everyone I loved left me, they all promised to stay but they left" 

Louis was still rubbing his scars softly “ I will stay"

Harry was looking at him, when Louis looked at Harry’s eyes he felt Harry was searching for something, but he didn’t know what, Harry only nodded his head and looked down.  
Harry wanted to believe Louis. He really did.

When Louis opened his eyes again, it was dark, and he was alone on the bed.

There was no sign for Harry.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter

Once Louis walked out of his room, he heard voices coming from his living, he didn’t know how to think but his heart was racing and he was paranoid. He looked around him and he found his old pat resting beside his bed so he rushed inside and took it and walked carefully to the living. 

He walked closer and he then heard sniffles and a voice said “ okay, I know. I am sorry" 

Louis finally breathed, because who talked was Harry.  
He put the pat beside and he showed himself to Harry, once Harry saw him he wiped his eyes and he said “ I am gonna call you later" and then he ended the call and put the phone beside him.

Louis smiled softly “ are you okay?” 

Harry sighed “that was Zayn. We had plans I was supposed to be there with him when he has his baby" 

Louis nodded and sat beside him “ it is okay, you can go and see her if you want" 

“ maybe" Harry whispered and looked down.

Louis wished he could know how Harry was thinking , he knew he was still feeling sad and unsecured, he knew he had a long way to change his mind, that if he could.

"Are you hungry?” Louis asked 

Harry shrugged 

" I am starving, I will order us some pizza, do you want something specific?”

Harry shook his head and didn’t talk.

Louis ordered the pizza and when the food arrived Louis played a movie and he waited patiently till Harry ate his piece.  
Once the movie was over, it was still 8 pm, Louis turned the TV off “anything in your mind?” 

Harry nodded “ I kind of promised Zayn I will pass by" 

Louis nodded “ are they still in the hospital?”

Harry nodded “ okay, good. How about you go and take a shower and then we go" 

Harry slowly nodded and stood up, so did Louis, Louis showed him the way and said “ I will try to find something that fits you"  
Harry nodded and closed the door behind him.

******  
Harry was so emotional, he hugged Zayn and cried and hugged gigi and cried even harder, he didn’t touch the baby, he didn’t even look at her , no one pushed but everyone was worried.  
Harry was talking to Gigi while Zayn took Louis’s hand and walked out of the room 

" what is his wrong? Did you do something?”

Louis sighed “ God! I had no idea you are this overprotective “ 

Zayn didn’t answer, he was looking at Harry through the door  
" you have a reason though" 

Once Louis said it Zayn snapped his head up to him “ what happened?” 

Louis shook his head “ I will tell you later” 

"LOUIS?” 

"later Zayn, later. Let’s go inside “ 

Zayn rubbed his face “ he tried it again, didn’t he?” 

Louis looked at Zayn and didn’t answer, Zayn wiped his formed tears “ I knew it, I felt it I knew" 

Louis said “ I was there at the right time" 

" then what? What if no one was there at the right time? What if we missed it and couldn’t save his life.. fuck I told him he needs help"

Louis patted Zayn's shoulder, he was surprised, he knew Zayn and Niall two years ago but he never saw that part of him, he never saw him once worried about anything. 

" he will have it, but we need to convince him first “ 

Zayn snorted angrily “Well, good luck with that, the only one who could convinced him before is now gone. And Harry is a fucking stubborn he can’t afford it and he will never accept the money from us" 

Louis nodded “ we will think about it, don’t worry okay, you just have a baby I know you are nervous enough, don’t add anything else" 

Zayn again wiped his tears but he didn’t talk.

" I promised Liam. I promised him I will keep him safe" 

Louis frowned and his heart wrenched at the same time. He squeezed Zayn's shoulder again and didn’t talk. Harry was walking toward them struggling to keep his smile.

" can we leave?” he was asking Zayn “I don’t feel okay, I need to rest" 

Zayn nodded “have you carried the baby?”

Harry looked down “ I will, I don’t think I am ready now" 

Louis frowned but Zayn didn’t mind, it was like they talked about it before and Zayn was understanding 

Zayn then said “okay, where are you staying?” 

" With me" Louis said hastily, Louis added “ for now, he is staying with me" 

Harry slightly nodded but Zayn seemed relaxed, finally relaxed and for a second Louis was happy because Zayn trusted him with Harry. 

Harry walked and stood behind Louis “we will see you tomorrow “

Zayn nodded and said “ take care of yourselves “ 

Then they walked away. 

They were walking through the corridors when Louis asked when he saw how Harry was shaking “are you okay?” 

Harry nodded “ just nervous. I hate hospitals , I lost mom and Liam in the hospital.. I just hate hospitals “ 

Louis nodded and he knew the feeling, he had it before, when Fizzy died they all were gathering in the hospital praying and hoping, but when the doctor told them the bad news Louis swore he would never enter a hospital again.

Louis took Harry’s hand, he intertwined their fingers together and they didn’t talk.

" what the hell are you doing here?” Louis heard someone was yelling in front of them, he was an old doctor and he was glaring at Harry and was about to attack him. Harry tensed and he squeezed Louis’s hand strongly 

Harry froze in his place and looked in front of him at the man, his eyes were filled with dread and Louis felt so confused.

The man walked closer “ I thought I would never see you again, I got millions of scenarios of what I will do to you when I see your fucking face again" He stopped right in front of him.

Harry looked down  
" I don’t know how do you stand yourself, why are you still alive?”

Louis found himself yelling “haaay" 

Securities started to surround them and then he felt Harry was pulling Louis back.

But the doctor totally ignored Louis and yelled to Harry “ people like you shouldn’t be alive. You should have died too Harry you should have fucking died" he attacked Harry and held him by his collar Louis was going to attack back he tried to set Harry free but he couldn’t, the old man was strong, then some other doctors interfered and freed Harry from the doctors grip.

The doctor was yelling and shouting and wishing Harry to die, then one doctor looked at Harry and said “leave Harry, go!"

When Louis looked at Harry he was crying, he didn’t move he was just crying. Then the doctor who absolutely knew what was happening and why looked at Louis and said “take him and go" 

Harry looked at the old man who was still shouting and trying to attack Harry again through his friends. Then Louis took Harry’s hand and walked faster out of the hospital. 

Louis and Harry were inside the car, Louis was trying to calm his heart. He was so angry and so nervous .

He looked at Harry, he stopped crying but he was looking down.  
“ who was that?”

Harry looked through the window and took a deep breath “ dr Payne , he is Liam’s father. He doesn’t like me"then he shook his head sadly and closed his eyes “he hates me. He always hated me" 

Then he looked down “ he blames me for Liam's death, I understand him" he shrugged “ I should have died too" 

Louis huffed “ of course not" he started the car and his mind repeated the awful words Liam’s father said to Harry. 

Harry put his hand on his chest , on his heart and Louis felt Harry was in pain “ liam and his father were too close. Then I showed up and ruined everything” 

Louis was looking at the road, he didn’t know what to say and he wanted Harry to speak , at least that was progress 

" when he knew about us, he lost his mind. Liam left the house and never returned back. This man couldn’t digest that his son was gay and in a relation with me. He came to me and told me to leave his son … he was… he is hard" 

Louis looked at him and nodded “ sometimes parents don’t understand “

Harry nodded “ Liam was mess, he was too sad and I hated myself I was the reason he was fighting with his father daily, I was the reason for his sadness. I tried to leave him I really did but he always found me. No matter what I did he found me , and eventually I stayed.. he loved me and I needed that.. I guess"

Louis nodded “ it wasn’t your fault, Liam’s death isn’t your fault “  
Harry only nodded his head and didn’t speak.

Few minutes later “ can you go faster? I need to lie down"

Louis looked at him “how do you feel?” 

Harry only shrugged but his hand was still in his heart, “ should we go to the hospital?”

Harry shook his head “no hospital, I just wanna sleep"


	17. Chapter 17

Next morning, Louis again opened his eyes and didn’t find Harry beside him, he didn’t panic cause the night before Harry insisted to sleep on the couch. Louis tried to convince him to sleep with him but Harry was a stubborn as he was.

Louis left his bedroom praying that Harry was still there, and his heart calmed down when Harry was still there sleeping deeply.

Louis didn’t try to wake him up, he just walked to the kitchen to make the breakfast, he had work today and he needed to be gone In an hour. 

He was making the egg when Harry entered the kitchen “good morning “ Louis said once he saw him.

Harry was looking at him “are you going out?” 

Louis smiled and put the egg for Harry on a plate “ I have work. So do you, remember “ 

Then he added " you don’t have to go today if you don’t feel like it"

Harry only nodded but didn’t comment. 

"Sit down" Louis said after pouring the hot tea.

Harry sat in front of him, he was frowning and obviously he was thinking deeply 

"Did you sleep well?” Louis asked 

Harry nodded, he cupped the tea 

" were you cold?” 

Harry shrugged and he coughed , Louis gasped “fuck Harry, why didn’t you say anything.. I knew it was a bad idea and now you caught a cold"

Harry shook his head “ I am fine. It’s okay I am always cold. I guess I caught it from that night.. you know under the rain" Harry didn’t meet Louis’ eyes saying the last words. But Louis noticed how congested his voice was .

" drink this, I will bring you something later for your cold"  
Harry nodded his head , but he didn’t move. Louis wanted to ask about his chest pain but he couldn’t 

Louis struggled not to ask him again “I called Niall to stay with you, is that okay?” 

Harry closed his eyes “ you didn’t have to, I told you I am not trying it again louis" 

Louis bit his inner cheek “ it’s not that" 

Harry opened his eyes and looked at his tea, he wasn’t angry , he was just tired “ of course it is that, you are scared but you can’t watch me all the time Louis.” 

" You are making it hard" Louis whispered, “ you were this close, if I wasn’t there-"

"I would have done that" Harry finished for him, then he looked at him “ and you stopped me, I know that, I know all of that but… I am not suicidal” 

Louis was watching him, Harry’s eyes were filled with tears “ I guess you are" 

Harry tears fall freely , Louis added “ you tried to end your life twice in less than five years.. this is what suicidal means?” 

Harry frowned “ oh" 

Louis sighed , he cupped Harry’s hands and he said “ you need help Harry" 

Harry was looking at his eyes , he didn’t move his eyes, so Louis added “ I want to help, I really want to but you need a professional help.. I will be there I will never leave but I am too scared Harry, fuck I am bloody scared" 

Harry closed his eyes and whispered “I am sorry"

Louis shook his head “ no, don’t be. I just need you to promise me something. If you ever felt sad again and you were thinking again of doing it, call me.. no matter what ,call me. Even if I am not home , or out of the town, even if I am so far away" 

" even if we are not together?” Harry whispered 

And louis swallowed because he didn’t know what Harry meant but he nodded “even if we are not together “

Then the door bell ran and Louis tried to smile “Niall is here" 

Harry slightly nodded and wiped his tears.

Louis opened the door for Niall, he was so anxious he looked at Louis worried “ where is he?” 

Louis smiled “Good morning Niall"

Niall took off his jacket and smiled shyly “ sorry “ 

Louis only nodded “he is in the kitchen “ 

Actually Louis understood how worried Niall and Zayn were, they lived through this together. He still can hear Niall sobs when he called him late last night to ask him about Harry , Zayn told him what Harry tried to do and Louis begged him not to come this late and asked him to come this morning. 

Louis heard Niall sniffles before he entered the kitchen, then he saw Niall and Harry hugging, Harry was rubbing Niall’s back softly and Niall was clutching Harry’s shirt.

" I am sorry" Harry was saying 

"You promised me" Niall was answering.

Harry looked at Louis feeling betrayed, Louis smiled sadly and he wanted to tell Harry that Zayn knew by himself, he didn’t mean to tell him.

Finally niall broke the hug and looked at Louis , then he hugged Louis too, Louis was surprised but he hugged him back “ is it Niall' cuddle day?” he tried to joke and he looked at Harry who was staring down

" I am just too glad that you found him in time" Niall said while pulling away 

Louis sighed and again looked at Harry “ I think it meant to happen"

Niall nodded and looked at Harry “of course it was meant to happen, I didn’t leave my phone unlocked for no reason" 

Louis snapped his head up to Niall, Niall smiled “ I know you care about him, I know you will find him and convince him to come back" 

Then niall walked to Harry “ we got the flat for ourselves Hazza, and let me tell you Louis doesn’t like sharing" 

Harry finally looked up when Niall embraced him and said “ I know" 

Louis was finally happy by Harry’s cooperation in the conversation, he saw he was struggling for Niall, just like he did for Zayn. He saw him building his wall again, painting his fake face with his gorgeous smile again and it hurt Louis but at least Harry was himself with him , when they are alone together Harry didn’t have to act.

Louis only pretended hurt “ not you curly" 

Then Niall said cheerfully like he wasn’t crying a river a moment ago “ Don’t you have work to do Mr. Important, go now. Me and Harry here have a lot to do"

Louis looked at Harry to see if that was okay, and surprisingly Harry slightly nodded his head as if he read Louis. Louis nodded and he said “ alright , then ..eat something Harry, I will be back around 4”

Niall said “ alright, alright. Now go"

*******  
When Louis returned home , he found Niall sitting alone watching TV. 

Niall greeted him with a small smile and said Harry insisted to make him some dinner.

" where is Harry?” he said while collapsing beside Niall 

" sleeping”

"In my room?” Louis frowned 

Niall looked at him “is that okay?” 

Louis nodded “ of course, it just he didn’t want to sleep in it last night"  
Niall sighed and looked back at the TV “it is not the room, it is you" 

Louis was more confused “ what does it mean?”

Niall looked again at Louis “ it means he starts to have feelings for you, and he is scared and trying to push this feelings away. He doesn’t want to get attached Louis" 

Louis slowly nodded his head “ tell me what to do?” 

Niall shrugged “ I have no idea. I am just repeating Liam’s words. He once told me that. He was the only one who understood him. It was like he had Harry’s catalogue and he knew how and what to do"

Louis only nodded, then Niall asked “ how.. how did he try to do it this time?” 

Louis took a deep breath “ he has those pills, I don’t know what they are but I guess his sleeping pills or pain killers" 

Niall wiped his teats and nodded, then he said “last time he cut his wrests”

Louis nodded , he knew “Niall, do you know what’s wrong with him,”

Niall snorted “ you mean with his head or his heart?” 

" His heart" 

Niall shrugged “I don’t know, again it was Liam. He was the one who was taking him to doctors .. he knew his meds and he was bringing them, Harry says it costs a fortune . But he was okay with Liam buying him things. I mean when Liam died I tried to give him some money you know I tried to help but he never took it"

Louis rubbed his face “ he needs help. How could you leave him all that time without help"

Niall sighed and squeezed his eyes “ around these days last year he was the same, so depressed and awful.. that was when he tried to end his life .. it was because Liam’s memorial, we know it was too hard for him and for all of us.. when he wake up in the hospital he cried for days, then I took him home , we were watching him around the clock and we begged him to have help. He doesn’t have money and he didn’t take our money. He stayed for a week and when he decided to leave he promised he wasn’t going to do it again. Zayn threatened him if it happens again he will send him to the rehab and there was nothing was going to change Zayn’s mind" 

Louis was listening then he asked “ how come I never met him?”

Niall only smiled “ you have, but you never met properly I guess. He was there at the hospital when I had my knee surgery he never left my side. And when Zayn’s father died he was there and I am sure more than that .. but Harry is too … I don’t know what to say, he hates himself he is feeling he shouldn’t get into any new relations, he only has us Zayn and I “- 

They heard then foot steps walking to them and then Harry showed up clean and full dressed.

Louis looked at him and stood up “ are you going somewhere?” 

Harry looked between Niall and Louis, both were looking at him in confusion. He gave a smile and said “ I am going home" 

Louis sighed “ Harry we talked about it" 

“about what?”

"You staying with me?”

" For few days , not forever" 

"It has been only two days, stay till the end if the week" 

Niall stood up too “you can stay with me"

Louis looked at niall “ and what is the wrong with me?”

Harry sighed “ guys. I am not staying with anyone, okay. I am going home. I need to be home ,it is near my work, my clothes is there everything is there" 

Niall huffed “what about the landlord?” 

But Harry groaned wanting to shut Niall’s up “ I said I am going home" 

Louis looked at Harry “ what did I do?” 

"Nothing, nothing Louis you were more than a help. But I just need some time to be alone. I need time to think" 

Niall asked panicking “ think about what?” 

"Me, I want to think about me , you all know what I tried to do and failed again. And I am not trying to do it again so please relax", then he cursed “ fuck, I know this would happen when you know, I know how nervous I will put you through again, I know I will need forever to make you trust me again but all I want now is your trust Niall. I need to stay with myself, I need to depend on myself again"

" but why? “ Louis asked “ you are pushing me"

Harry looked at him “ Louis, you are the only reason that stops me" 

And with that the conversation was ended, Niall was crying he wiped his tears and said “ I know I can’t do anything about it" 

Harry walked closer to him and he hugged him so tight “ just trust me, okay .if you want to help I need you to trust me" 

Niall looked at his eyes , Harry said “ I know you heard these words before, and I know you are blaming yourself. I know you promised Liam but guys I am not your responsibility “ 

Niall wiped his tears again “Harry, you are my friend. I love you, we love you. You are so important to us"

Harry nodded and he hugged him again.

Louis was feeling sorry for Harry, he was struggling to convince Niall and Niall was the easy one. When Zayn knows he will lose his mind. But Louis was more sorry because he felt Harry was still not believing that he actually was in love with him. He simple didn’t believe. 

Harry then said “ go home. Louis will give me the ride" 

Louis snapped his head up at Harry, okay he could do that  
Harry looked at him “is that okay?”

Louis nodded “ more than okay yeah"

And finally Niall left.

Louis ate his dinner that Harry made for him as a thank you, now Louis got the message. Harry waited patiently in front of him. He asked about his day , and Louis answered warily because his mind was still racing what to do to convince Harry to stay.

*****  
Harry asked Louis to stop the car in front of Harry’s building. Then Harry looked at him “ you believe me?” 

Louis turned the engine off and looked at Harry , he shrugged “my heart tells me to believe, my mind has a different idea"  
Harry nodded “understand that” 

"Then come back , bring your stuff and come and live with me. I don’t need anything in return from you, you don’t have to love me if you don’t feel it now you just don’t have to do anything just stay with me. I will bring you another bed, maybe I can finally use the spare room in my flat"

Harry was listening to him with a smile ,he then took his head and said “ I want to love you. And I want you to love me. But not because of what happened “ 

Louis sighed “we talked about it Harry, I don’t know how to prove it. I loved you and I don’t know how it starts .. love doesn’t have permission “ 

Harry nodded, but the tears again formed quickly in his eyes “ I am still in love with him"

Louis closed his eyes and nodded “I know. And I am not trying to take his place. He will always be there. But you promised me a chance and I think I deserve it, not because I saved your life but because I really love you. And want you ,and want another chance" 

Harry then cupped his face and he kissed him a long soft kiss. Then he looked at Louis “ I promise you I will be alive and give us that chance. But I need to earn your love" 

Louis knew there was no way he could convince Harry tonight, so tomorrow maybe.

Together they left the car, but once Harry was closer to the building he frowned and was looking at some bags and boxes inside the building. Then he cursed “ Fuck" he rushed inside and checked them 

Louis looked at him confused, but Harry took his phone and called someone “ what the hell Mike….I told you I was going to pay" he was so angry “ no, I.. what do you mean someone took the place.” Then he squeezed his eyes and rubbed his face strongly “I can’t believe you did this to me" then he ended the call.

Harry then left the building and sat on the stairs . Louis walked closer and sat beside him “those are your stuff?”

Harry was silent, he then huffed “ I was too behind. Like five months behind. I get it. When you gave me the money I told him I was paying him he told me that was my last chance, but I gave the money back" he shrugged “ I didn’t think I was gonna make it so..” 

And fuck. He really thought about everything before he tried to end his life . He took time and put plan. And that was scary.  
Louis then said “ I guess you are coming with me" 

"No" 

Louis looked at him “ Harry, it’s either me or the boys. They have no place I am the only one. You don’t have money to afford any place else" 

" I am not staying with you" maybe the tune he used that hurt Louis and broke his heart 

Louis looked down and swallowed hard. He just couldn’t understand Harry, a minute ago he kissed him and then he didn’t want to stay with him in the same place.

" I am so tired" Harry said 

Louis looked at him and didn’t talk , “ and I know you are too. And I am sorry for dragging you around. I know you say you love me but love doesn’t suppose to be like this" 

Louis stayed silent 

" I want us to be happy. I can’t love you unless I am sure I can make you happy, and right now I will only make you sad and worried. And I can’t do this to you , and if I come to yours I will love you more and I am already loving you and loving Liam and I am so confused I don’t know what to do, and I have no place to go .I can’t go to Niall because I can’t see someone on Liam’s bed it will just fucking kill me. It will kill me and I don’t want to die. Not now. Not anymore. I don’t want to die and I know no one believes me.. but I don’t want to die" he was frantic ,so Louis held his hand and said “shhhh" 

Harry looked at him 

" I believe you okay, I believe you.. just calm down.it is freezing let’s get inside my car to figure it out" 

Harry was watching him then he slowly nodded his head and said “ can I take my bags?” 

Louis nodded , and Harry walked inside and took his two bags and two boxes , louis helped and they put the bags in the car.  
Once they were inside the car Harry was so tired, so exhausted.  
" listen. We will go home now, we are both tired and exhausted okay, tomorrow we will think of something else please say yes" louis pleaded smiling 

Harry finally nodded his head. 

Of course when they went home Harry insisted to sleep on the couch, Louis didn’t argue, he didn’t want to push him he didn’t even bring the bags to his flat, but he made his mind he would ask Harry again tomorrow. 

Louis tried again to feed Harry, and thankfully Harry obliged. He didn’t eat much but it was enough to rest Louis’ heart, he didn’t want to add anorexia to the table of Harry’s problems.

Next morning louis wake up early and rushed to look for Harry, he was there sitting on the couch full dressed. Louis walked and sat beside him “good morning “

Harry looked at him with red puffed eyes, he said with scratchy voice “ morning “

Louis frowned “ were you crying?” 

Harry shook his head “ I had a terrible nightmare, I couldn’t sleep after, it felt so real" 

Louis only nodded his head “ why didn’t you wake me up" 

Harry snorted “of course I won’t, you were tired and you have work to do in the morning, I am not a child I can manage a stupid nightmare “ 

Louis frowned , Harry obviously was in a bad mood , Louis sighed “ never said you were a child, sometimes nightmare are too much to handle alone, not stupid" 

Harry groaned and rubbed his face strongly “ I just want it to stop" 

Louis’ heart dropped, he hated this word “ what?” 

" The headache, then pain, my chest pain, everything hurts and now I can’t sleep" 

Louis nodded “ what about your sleeping pills?” 

Harry took a deep breath “ doesn’t help with nightmares, it makes them worse, like the nightmare never ends" 

Louis frowned “ I once heard it brings the nightmares"

Harry looked at him and didn’t talk.

Louis sighed “okay, why are you dressed up?”

Harry looked away “ I have to go to work. I have to ask for it back and I need money, like a lot of money so I can rent a place"

Louis nodded “ okay makes sense, but you don’t have to go today if you are that tired" 

Harry gritted “it helps , it makes me busy you need to make me busy if you want to keep me alive" 

Louis frowned and decided not to talk again , he only stood up “ I will get ready in five" 

He walked inside, he understood Harry was furious at the moment, his life was a mess and he didn’t have any clue how to fix it, he didn’t want help, he was pushing everyone away. He refused the money from Naill and Zayn, he even returned his money back.

When he left his room, he found Harry in the kitchen sitting on the table gazing at the floor.he made Louis a sandwich and a cup of coffee like he always ate .

Louis frowned and looked at him “ what is this?” 

Harry snapped his head up and said “I am sorry" 

Louis was still confused , Harry added “ I know sometimes I get so hard, sometimes my mood is shit I am sorry, I swear I am not trying to push you away. I am just…” he closed his eyes “ I am really trying , I know I can be awful sometimes that’s why I need my own place" 

Louis finally walked inside and sat in front of him , he smiled “ is that for me?”

Harry shrugged , Louis took the coffee “thank you so much I really need it" 

Harry nodded but didn’t smile. He was expecting something  
" are you mad at me?” 

Louis looked at Harry, he put the cup down and shook his head “ no. And I know you are trying and I am really happy to hear it. I know you need your time.” He then sighed “ I swear curly sometimes I wish I can read your mind"

Harry whispered “ please don’t “ 

Louis was watching him, he then said “I am so patient, I know you can’t believe that but I am, I can wait for you.. I will be waiting “ 

Harry slowly nodded, Louis said when he noticed Harry was still waiting for something 

He took Harry’s hand and said “ and I will always be here, I am not going anywhere"

Harry looked at their hands and nodded, his features relaxed a bit 

Louis then added “and I can handle it” Harry looked at him , louis said “ i really want you to stay here” Harry was pulling his hand but Louis didn’t let him “ I am not pushing you I swear, I trust you but we can keep each other company. We can-" his phone went off, Louis looked at it and he was going to ignore but it was Lottie and his heart skipped a beat 

Louis looked at Harry and his face turned from soft to worried “ I will take this, sorry" 

He took his phone and walked out the kitchen “Lottie, hi"

" hi, lou did I wake you up?”

Louis’s heart was beating very fast “no, no I am awake. Is everyone okay?”

She sighed “don't worry, mom is okay now"

"Now?”

" she had a rough day , she was too tired and she passed out, I took her to the hospital “

" She is in the hospital?” he said frantically 

" doctors say she is stable now. I called to tell you the news, give her a call later , she is sleeping now"

Louis squeezed his eyes because it stung, he took a deep breath and said “ I will okay. Are you all okay?” 

He then wiped his tears, she said “ we are fine. Just missing you and Harry. How are you guys?” 

Louis sighed “we are okay, Lottie .he says hi"

Lottie said after a moment “ I am glad you have him Lou during this time. I don’t want you to be alone.” Louis sat on the sofa, the tears fell freely now , suddenly he felt it was a lot. Suddenly he felt he couldn’t breath.

"LOU.. are you still here?”

" I am here, I am here I am sorry . I will call you later”

Then he ended the call and put the phone on the table in front of him.

He covered his face , he wiped his tears and suddenly he felt a hand on his back. Harry was sitting beside him looking at him worried “ everything okay?”

Louis took a deep breath “mom is in the hospital “

"Oh!”

“Lottie says she is stable now, but I don’t know…this is the fourth time this month" 

Harry bit his lower lip, Louis said “ I am too scared"

Harry nodded “ I know"

Louis shook his head “ I don’t want to worry you with my stuff “ 

"Hay.. I am allowed. We are friends. I really want to help you" 

Louis only sighed and again pressed on his eye “stay with me"

Then he looked at Harry when Harry didn’t talk, Louis then sighed “I am sorry.. I am being pushy” 

"Okay" 

Louis snapped his head up , Harry nodded “ I am staying in one condition” 

Louis nodded hastily “ anything “ 

Harry gave a weak smile “I will pay my rent" 

" fine" Louis finally breathed

Harry nodded “ good, now let’s pray I win my job back"

*****  
Louis was leaving his office. He was feeling different, for once he wanted to leave for the first time he knew there was someone waiting for him. Harry sent him he was still in his work, his boss was happy to have him back. So Louis had now to go and pick him home.

He was leaving when the door was opened and someone entered .

Not anyone.

Nick Grimshaw


	18. Chapter 18

what do you want Nick? It has been an hour and you are just rambling and saying bullshit, so if you don’t mind I have a place to go" Louis and Nick was sitting in a café shop near Louis’s company. When Nick visited him last night he wanted desperately to talk, Louis had to pick Harry up , but Nick didn’t take no as an answer and Louis knew if he did not meet him he would visit him home and that would bother Harry .  
So next morning they met

Nick grasped Louis’ arm “ sit down. I will tell you okay" 

Louis huffed and sat again  
" I followed you last night, so you're still seeing that whore"

Louis gritted “for God sake!”

Nick shrugged “ what !! he is"

"Not any more" 

" doesn’t really change the fact that he is a whore" 

Louis shook his head in frustration “ why are we talking about him?” 

Nick snapped “ because he is a fucking whore and you still seeing him" 

"His name is Harry" Louis hit the table with his fist 

Nick watched Louis, he rested his back and crossed his arms over his chest 

" why are you doing this? Why are you fighting me for him?” 

Louis snorted “ why would I even fight you, why do you think I care about you?” 

Nick smirked “ I know you still care. I mean back at the wedding I know.. I know you still have feelings for me"

Louis gave a loud laughter “ oh my God. You are crazy" 

Nick was still watching him with no words, Louis said “ nick there is nothing between us, nothing. We are done Long time ago, nothing will change this" 

Nick sighed, then he touched Louis’s hand “baby-" but Louis flinched and pulled his hand away 

Nick nodded his head “I am sorry, okay. I know I was stupid, I know I was… fuck I know I did you wrong" 

Louis frowned “ Nick. What are you trying to do?”

" I am trying to fix us" 

" fix us? Now? Years later?”

Nick shrugged and said softly “I didn’t know how much I love you till I saw you again"

Louis groaned “ Nick please. Just drop it" 

Nick frowned and then he snorted and laughed “ oh my God. You are in love with him"

Louis looked at him, Nick groaned “ you love this fucking whore"  
" his name is Harry"

" fucking whore. What are you doing? Are you choosing him over me? A whore? An addict whore" Louis stood up ,he took his keys and phone “we are done talking “

Nick jumped on his feet “ no, we Don’t. Open your eyes, what are you doing? Don’t you have any one else? How will you even introduce him to the family? Why?”

Louis closed his eyes, he was trying his best to contain his anger 

"They will find out Louis, they will know" 

Louis looked down , he sighed “ it not something to be embarrassed about"

Nick snorted “really? How come he deceived you this way? He will fucking cheat on you ,he will steal you and fucking leave you, I can’t believe how dump you are. You are choosing him over me? A thief?”

Louis huffed “you and i know what happened in the wedding Nick, so fucking drop it" 

"You are choosing him, you should choose me.. me"

Louis looked at him “ you? You want me to believe you? You cheated on me Nick, you were always cheating on me Nick when we were together ,and you know what is the funny part? That I always knew but I just wanted to give you chance after chance. Till one day you came and dumped me. Fuck you Nick, I will choose anyone over you .. anyone" 

He then stormed outside , but he heard Nick yelling “ he will fucking hurt you , I can prove it" 

Once Louis stepped outside the café, he felt his arm was grasped and there was a lip touching his, a strong kiss he was given.

Louis pulled away and pushed Nick “ are you out of your mind",  
Nick walked closer “ baby pleas, just give me a chance", 

Louis yelled “no, I won’t. Now leave me the fuck alone", 

"You can’t do this to me" 

", I can and I will" Louis yelled again and walked away, but Nick yelled with angr “he will pay for this. I will make sure he does"  
Louis jumped in his car, he was frustrated that his whole body was shaking, he couldn’t believe what just happened. Nick lost his mind .

Louis took his phone and he dialled Harry’s number  
After the third ring, Harry answered “Louis?”, Louis closed his eyes, Harry sounded concerned, he knew Harry was busy and yet he answered 

"Hi Hazza” 

" You are not okay" Harry stated 

"No, no I am fine. I just want to check on you, how is your day going?”

Harry sighed “I am tired already, can’t wait to go home. Then I remembered we have to go to bring my new bed …”

Louis smiled softly, Harry sounded excited “ you still wanna do this? I get cold in the night and I really will appreciate a cuddle" 

Harry giggled through the phone “dream about it… I have to go, we don’t want me to lose my job, do we?”

Louis sighed “ no , we Don’t “

" Are you sure you are okay?” 

Louis nodded although Harry couldn’t see “ I am great, just wanted to hear your voice", 

Harry chuckled “ fine, now go to work" 

******  
Harry and Louis just finished arranging Harry’s new bed room, they both were lying on the bed heaving, looking at the ceiling then Louis giggled “I am starving" 

Harry nodded “ yeah, me too" 

Louis looked at him shocked “you are?” 

Harry looked at him and said “yes?”

Louis smiled and looked again at the ceiling “ good, let's order some pizza" 

"No, I am gonna cook for you” 

Louis again looked at him but this time he leaned on his elbows “ you are?” 

Harry nodded “ it’s as a thank you" 

" thank me for what curly?” 

" Everything” 

Louis smiled and rested his back again “ anything for you Hazza" 

Harry then put his hand on Louis’s hand and he squeezed without saying a word.

****  
The food was delicious, more than delicious that what all Louis felt. He watched Harry cooking and he felt Harry was starting to relax a bit, he tried his best to forget that Harry tried to end his life few days ago and he just wished Harry was true and not pretending but he would never know.

After eating dinner they were still on the table, exhausted to move. Louis was watching Harry from time to time, he ate exactly four forks he didn’t add more and Louis again started to feel worried 

" Harry, please finish your plate"

Harry looked at him , he took another one but he then rested the fork on the table and sighed “ I really can’t “ 

Louis nodded sadly “ I noticed you have lost some weight" 

Harry nodded “ I know, but I am trying I promise “

Louis just smiled “ I know you do" 

He then stood up and took his empty plate to the sink, Harry also stood up and wrapped his plate to put it in the fridge for maybe Later or for Niall who was always starving.

Louis was washing the dishes when Harry said “ aren’t you telling me what was the wrong with you this morning “

Louis froze for a second and then shrugged “ told you I just wanted to hear your voice “ 

Then he turned off the water, he looked at Harry and smiled “I was missing you” 

Harry gave a weak smile and then he nodded “ okay"

Louis sighed and walked to him, he took his hand and they sat again on the table “ but I need to tell you something “ 

Harry nodded 

Louis put his hand on his pocket and he put out an envelope. Harry looked at the envelope and recognized it, then he looked at Louis 

"I want you to have it back" Louis said 

Harry looked again at the envelope and didn’t talk 

"I don’t try to say anything but I need you to take the money, it is yours you earned it. You need the money Harry”

Harry was still staring at the envelope 

Louis sighed “ I am not trying to offend you, but Harry… it is yours" 

Harry closed his eyes 

" Harry?” 

Harry opened his eyes again and he looked at Louis “I can’t taken it"

" you need it “ 

Harry nodded “ I know I do but if i take it I will hate myself" 

Louis put his hand on Harry’s, and Harry then put his other hand on their intertwined hands 

"I will not take the money Louis. Please.. Don’t ruin it. I loved the feeling your family gave me, like I was a part of something… if I take the money I will lose this feeling. I mean I already gave up once and I am trying “ 

Louis only nodded “ I want to help Harry, let me help you"  
Harry smiled weakly “ not this way , you are more than a help for me"

Louis then said “- just take it till you have your salary" 

Harry shook his head “ this money is not mine.”

Then Louis only nodded he didn’t want to upset him.

Harry then took the envelope, he put the money in front of Louis. He then took some and said “ this for the bed and the things you bought me for the room" he put the money in front of Louis 

Then he took some “ and those … as a rent . I won’t be able to pay you till next month and I need to find a night job so I can afford the rent and life" 

He put the money in front of Louis too 

" and those for the grocery that I am supposed to buy this month" Harry giggled and again put the money in front of Louis, Louis smiled too, he knew what Harry was doing 

" and those-" Harry said but Louis interrupted “for your pills.. please Harry I am too worried about you"

Harry looked at him “ that’s I can’t do" 

" but why?”

Harry gave a long breath “because Louis I can’t ever afford the pills. Not even with my two jobs"

"Then let me help. Let me buy it for you. Liam did",  
But Harry only looked down .

Louis then said after a long moment of silence “I just need to sleep at night knowing you are okay “

" I am okay" 

"Harry, please.. I know you are not. I know i should have taken you to the hospital to check on you… you look tired ,you Don’t eat, you don’t sleep and I know baby how much you are trying.. but the pills will help" 

Harry didn’t talk.

" fine… okay. As you want I am not gonna push you. But can you at least tell me when you don’t feel well?” 

Harry looked at him and nodded “ I don’t want you to be worried about me. I am not taking them for two years or maybe more… I am not always tired .. I mean I am in pain but I can function “ 

Louis nodded and said softly “ I hate that you are in pain “

Harry only smiled “ I will be alright.. I will manage" 

Louis didn’t talk for a moment then he said “Harry.. can I ask you for a date?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need your support guys, I know what to write but I am scared I am losing the feeling yo write 🥵🤯😟


	19. Chapter 19

"A date!” Zayn asked Harry. Together they were leaning on the wall at the back of Harry’s café. It was evening and they were smoking. It was too cold that if they spoke they see vapours coming out of their mouths but they didn't care, Zayn never felt the cold and Harry never cared

" a date" Harry nodded

" what did you do?”

Harry took a big drag and said “ nothing “

Zayn was still shocked ,he nodded trying to understand “ and what did he do?”

Harry looked down “ Nothing “ , he took another drag but this time clutched his shirt and coughed

Zayn noticed and said “ are you sure it is okay to smoke with your asthma"

Harry shrugged and looked at him “ Liam said it was okay"

"Also Liam wasn't a doctor"

Harry frowned deep “he grew up surrounded by doctors so he knew better than you, plus I am nervous, so let me"

Zayn sighed and leaned beside Harry “ he really likes you… no I think he loves you"

Harry looked down again “he really shouldn’t "

Zayn looked at him “ why not? He is a good man.. I think you saw it yourself”

" That’s why he shouldn’t love me. He deserves much better"

Zayn sighed “ you deserve better Harry, stop torturing yourself"

Harry didn’t answer, he finished his cigarette and then threw it on the ground and smashed it with his shoes.

" gigi misses you, so as the baby… I really want you to see her, she wants her uncle Harry to carry her… I mean you will be her godfather"

Harry closed his eyes and he then said “ I know you know about what i did" then he looked at Zayn who was looking at him shocked, Harry said “I know Louis told you. But believe when I say your baby is one of the reasons that kept me away from doing it"

Zayn closed his mouth, Harry rubbed his face like he was nervous from what he was saying next “ I know you are worried, all of you. I known and I understand.. I know I can’t give you any guarantees but I swear I am not thinking of doing it again"

Zayn only nodded his head, Harry added “ and I need time, okay. I need time to heal.. I need time to take the responsibility of being your daughter Godfather"

" Haz-"

" I want to be sure, before I carry her and get attached to her, I need to be sure that I can do it , I need to do it Zayn and I need to do it right, but.. I just need time"

Zayn only nodded his head, he looked down and he said “ you can have all the time you need Harry , as long as you are around"

Harry nodded his head and stayed silent for a moment  
" His mother is sick “

Zayn frowned “ Louis?”

Harry nodded “ he was crying all the night, he called her last night and he was mess, I don’t know .. she seems too sick this time. I didn’t do anything.. I couldn’t “

Zayn sighed , Harry “he is very confused, I think he just doesn’t know how to think clearly, that's why he is asking for a date"

Zayn shrugged “ I guess both of you need some happiness Harold, I don’t think he asked you for a date just because he is nervous“

Harry shook his head then said “ give me another one"

Zayn giggled “I might be not as Liam, but I know an asthmatic person as you shouldn’t smoke more than one.. why are you this nervous Harry, I say give it a go. Go in a date with him, he is adult enough to know what is right for him"

Harry shook his head “you don’t get it"

Zayn sighed sadly “ I do get it Harry. You are scared" then he patted his shoulder “ it’s okay to fall in love again"

Harry didn’t raise his head, Zayn elbowed him softly and smiled “ give it a try"

Harry didn’t give any reaction, Zayn then said “ I have to go, Gigi is losing her mind with the baby, she doesn’t sleep"

Harry smiled and nodded “say hi to them both"

Zayn was walking “come on, l will give you the ride"

Harry waved him “ no, Louis is coming"

Zayn only smiled and winked for him drawing heart sign with his fingers , Harry giggled and then Zayn walked away.  
*****

Harry was waiting for Louis outside , he was too cold. His body was trembling, he regretted not wearing the jacket Louis begged him to wear , he said it wasn't that cold and Louis was overreacting, now he knew how much Louis wasn't overreacting he was in fact right.

Finally louis' car stopped in front of him, he was thirty minute late, Harry texted him ten minutes ago and he said he was on his way, Harry started to feel nervous but he calmed his heart down. Louis opened the door and then a large bouquet of red roses showed first, then Louis left his car walking behind the bouquet hiding his face . Harry giggled and walked towards him crossing the street .

Then Louis stretched his hand “so sorry I am late"

Harry was looking at the bouquet with amazed eyes , he loved flowers “you are forgiven already “ then he looked at Louis “are those mine?”

Louis nodded proudly when he saw Harry’s face “I picked it flower by flower"

Harry giggled again and took it , Louis said “ sorry for keep you waiting.. it took forever to be ready"

Harry was still watching the flowers “ I love it , it deserve the wait”

Louis clutched his chest " thanks god you love flowers",

Harry looked at him " who doesn't? Liam always bought me flowers"

Louis saw how Harry’s face changed once he mentioned Liam, he didn’t know what happened, but again he reminded himself  
he still has years to learn Harry

Louis then noticed how blue his lips looked “let’s get inside the car ,it is very cold"

Once they entered the car , Louis turned the heater on again he took Harry’s hand, Harry put the bouquet on his thighs and let Louis give him some warm , Louis rubbed them “ damn curly, your hands are frozen"

Harry again giggled although he remembered when was the last time it happened. But he couldn’t not smile to that, Louis was so caring, he was rubbing them focusing only on the hands

Then Louis looked at him “ i told you wear that jacket “ He scolded , and Harry could die for this the caring , the love he felt was too much

Harry didn’t answer instead he said “ so are you trying to bribe me with these beautiful flowers?”

Louis laughed “ I don’t know, does it work?”

Harry laughed too , pulling his hands from Louis's grip to move a hair stand from his face “you are impossible “

Louis only nodded , Harry was again hiding and Louis was again being patient with him, he looked at the road “are you hungry?”

Harry nodded “ very"

Louis screeched “ thanks god, I ordered pizza, it will be there the minute we arrive"

Harry sighed “ I don’t know what to do without you", although he didn't say it dramatically, but he meant it from the bottom of his heart.

******  
" it was awful curly stop laughing at me" Louis said watching Harry who was laughing his heart out

" stop it Hazza, come on" Louis tried to look serious

Harry put his hand on his chest trying to stop laughing “I am sorry, sorry… but that was hilarious “

"It was, but I never imagined I would do an ad for David Beckham, I am like a big fan, but he understands he is such a great person, he understood the fan spirit inside of me , my boss came and explained everything, Beckham said he understood young people like me"

Harry stopped laughing but was still giggling, Louis “ come on I am sure you have some embarrassing stories yourself"

" oh you mean like almost killing a celebrity like you did?no never"

Louis sighed dramatically “ god curly you will use it against me"

Harry nodded “along with forgetting your twins at school and losing your pants stories"

Louis covered his face feeling hot “oh my God"

Harry sighed “ I do have a story though, I am only telling you so you can have a point against me"

Louis rolled his eyes

"I was thirteen okay, I was with Gemma and Sam. Mom and his father just got engaged, they took us to that resort , it was amazing and very huge, and there was a lot of food, like a lot. So mom told me not to eat too much so I can move freely and swim lightly, of course I didn’t listen, so I ate like an elephant, and then I jumped on the pool with Sam, he knew I wasn’t feeling okay so he kept his distance, Gemma didn’t “

Louis giggled “oh God"

"I threw up on her, in the pool, it was fucking embarrassing and I was too sick for the rest of the vacation, kids called me puke boy, I am mean I ruined their pool, they closed it for the rest of the day to clean it"

Louis laughed “ I am trying to feel your pain, but you were an idiot"

Harry nodded “I was, yeah. Mom was so mad at me, Gemma showered for like two hours, but at the end of the night, she slept by my side and cuddled me like she always used to do, she wasn’t mad"

Then he stopped talking and Louis knew he was showered with memories.  
"You seemed close"

Harry shrugged " she was my best friend "

Louis sighed “ how about a movie?”

Harry smiled and nodded “yeah, sounds perfect"

Louis closed the pizza box, Harry only ate two pieces Louis didn’t comment, at least he was trying.

They picked a rom com movie and it was funny , Louis brought a light blanket and Harry made them some tea, Louis covered himself with Harry, they sat very close that Harry rested his head on Louis' shoulder , they drank the tea peacefully. Louis laughed at the movie and Harry was reacting from time to time.

" ask me again” Harry said suddenly

Louis frowned and looked at him “what?”

"Ask me again" Harry said again

Louis smiled and paused the movie, he looked at Harry “ Harry , would you go on a date with me?”

Harry looked at him and nodded his head “I would love to"

*****  
The date was next week , Louis was too excited for it, he wanted to surprise Harry, Harry knew Louis was on something but he didn’t push to know , he was excited too although he didn't show.

Louis opened his eyes in the morning and he felt awful already , he knew he was sick.

He tried to take a deep breath but his body hurt. He looked beside him and he groaned, he was early , his alarm hadn’t ring yet. And he felt he couldn’t sleep again

He wanted something for his head, it was killing, that was why he wake up from the start.

He left his bed and he walked to the kitchen. He was dizzy, he felt hot, fuck he was sick. But Louis couldn’t be sick, not that night, he was supposed to take Harry out, their date was tonight he was fine last night, what the fuck happened.

He took two Tylenol pills , he poured some water. He took his pills and he couldn’t take it anymore, he sat on the chair. He didn’t know for how long, but he felt someone was shaking him.

He lost the time and he slept resting his head on the table. He raised his head and he felt more awful

" what’s wrong?”Harry asked narrowing his brows, he looked restless and Louis hated how Harry looked

Louis only rubbed his face, Harry put his hand on his forehead “ fuck Louis, you are burning, come here" without a chance to answer, he helped him to stand up, he then walked him to his room and he put him on bed

" I am fine, just headache" Louis said weakly

Harry covered him “ not fine, you are sick. Have you take anything?”

Louis closed his eyes “ Tylenol.. I will be alright, just let me call my boss and tell him I will be late"

"Late? You are sick, you are not going anywhere"

Louis reached his hand to take his phone from the nightstand beside his bed, but he was too weak, he couldn’t so Harry took the phone “ you are not going"

Louis sighed “I can’t be sick Harry, not today"

Harry raised his hand up with Louis phone “ tell him or I will myself “ he raised his voice

Louis closed his eyes “ don’t yell at me"

Harry sat beside him on the bed, suddenly all the anger melted “ I am sorry, sorry. But you are not going”

Louis opened his eyes “ fine"

Harry gave him the phone and waited till Louis told his boss he was sick, and couldn't go. then Harry said he would make him something hot.

When he returned he was holding a tray with light breakfast, and a pill container, Louis looked even worse, he was sweaty and trembling, Harry groaned and put the tray down and rushed to him “ fuck. What is happening?”

He sat beside Louis, Louis could barely open his eyes , Harry again put his hand on his forehead, then he rushed to the kitchen, he took some luke water and a clean cloth. He ran back to Louis.

Louis was already closing his eyes, Harry didn'tknow if he passed out or was sleeping, he put the soaked cloth around Louis’ neck. He made him cold compresses till the fever was down again. Louis was hallucinating and Harry was too worried, he called Niall and Niall told him to keep calm and continu what he was doing.

When the fever was finally down , Harry left Louis for some sleep, he made him some chicken soup and he looked in his bag for some acetaminophen to bring the fever down and help with the body ache. It was already night when he decided to wake Louis for some food.

He put the tray at the nightstand beside Louis, he sat beside him. First, he touched his forehead, he was still hot. Then he shook him softly “ Lou. You gotta wake up, you need to eat something “

Louis opened his eyes and looked at Harry, Harry smiled at him “hello there"

Louis frowned and he winced when he rested his head on the backboard of the bed , he was too confused

"How do you feel now?” Harry asked concerned

Louis sighed “like.. sick"

Harry smiled

Louis groaned “I haven’t been sick since forever" He squeezed his eyes , he looked tired, sick and in pain , his eyes were red, his face was pale, his lips were chopped, he was awful.

Harry sighed “I made you some soup, and you can have something for your fever and body ache. Then maybe you can have a bath it will help"

Louis was watching Harry, Harry then took the plate and he gave it to Louis, Louis wasn’t hungry but he knew better than not eating , Louis took it and then he frowned “ wait a minute, what are you doing here? Did you stay?”

Harry nodded “I did, I called them and took a day off"

Louis couldn’t argue, he felt already tired “ you shouldn’t “

" don’t worry, now eat some"

Louis started to eat , Louis didn’t taste anything but he was sure it was delicious , Louis could only ate some ,he put the plate back Harry was watching but he didn’t talk.

He then gave him the medicine , Louis took it and drank some water . Then he closed his eyes again “I can’t believe I am sick tonight “

Harry frowned , Louis opened his eyes “i was supposed to take you out, our date"

Harry smiled “ you can take me out later, when you feel fine. I was worried about you, you were hallucinating when I was doing the cold compresses, I didn’t know what to do”

Louis gave a sided smile “you did what?”

Harry chuckled “you were dying"

" oh, drama Queen. But did I say something embarrassing?”

Harry shook his head and smiled “I wish, I was dying for another story but… you didn’t “

" Thanks god"

" Also your phone was ringing, I had to answer I am sorry, but someone named Mark from Sizzler restaurant”

Louis sighed sadly “ fuck, that was our date surprise “

Harry smiled “ I am sorry, he wanted to confirm the reservation, I had to tell him to cancel"

Louis groaned “ I feel so stupid”

Harry frowned “ don’t be a child, you are sick, it's not like you wanted to be sick, you still can take me to it, it sounds classy"

"It is" Louis said sadly

Harry then sighed and stood up, Louis frowned “ where to?”

Harry took the tray “ I will put it in the kitchen, you need a bath"

Louis smirked “ are you going to help"

Harry rolled his eyes “ God, you have a filthy mind "

Louis giggled “ still need your help, please “

" I already helped"

Harry was going to leave, but he didn’t trust leaving Louis, he looked more awful , so he watched him. Louis left his cover and was going to stand when he collapsed on his bed . Harry frowned and put the tray down again and hastily was on his knees in front of Louis,

Louis was giggling “ what did you give me curly?”

" Acetaminophen I swear" Harry answered frantically, Louis looked at him “ I am kidding"

" I am serious, how do you feel?”

Louis with Harry’s help sat slowly “ dizzy, maybe because I stood up fast, I told you I need your help"

Harry sighed “ should we go to the hospital?”

Louis smiled “ it’s just a sore throat, maybe I caught an infection or something, I am drowsy that’s it" but Harry was still restless, Louis sighed “ if I am still sick tomorrow, I am gonna call my doctor “

Harry only sighed, he touched his forehead again “your fever is still high, come on I am gonna help you bath"

Louis let him, he leaned on Harry and let Harry do all the work, he was sick but not that sick but he enjoyed Harry’s soft hand around his body, Harry put him on the bath wearing his boxer, Louis wanted to take it off but Harry insisted not. He helped Louis relax and after fifteen minutes he put him out of the bath , he dressed him something new and put him again on the bed.

" what a way to spend our first date huh? “ Louis said once his head touched the pillow, he was still so tired, he didn’t feel any better, his head was killing him, his throat was killing him , and he could barely move his eyes.

Harry sat beside him “ you will promise me a better one”

" I do" Louis sighed and closed his eyes “I was looking for tonight I made a reservation and everything “

Harry just shrugged “I think it will be another embarrassing story to tell"

Louis looked at him “I guess"

" you have to be okay tomorrow “

" I will"

" good… now get some sleep"

Harry stood up, he was walking out when Louis said “ Harry, sleep with me tonight “

Harry looked at him, Louis shrugged “ please, I am already upset"

Harry smiled “ okay, I will brush my teeth first"

But when Harry returned Louis was already sleeping, Harry turned the light off and he lied beside him, then suddenly Louis turned and put his hand on Harry waste, Harry was watching him but louis looked deep sleep, Harry only smiled and whispered “nighty Lou"

" nighty Hazza"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are enjoying, they still have long ride to go i am telling you this story isn't finishing soon, so stay with me and thanks for your lovely words and support 
> 
> All the love 
> 
> English is not my first language


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, English isn't my first, I get sad when people say how they find it hard to read my stories, but this is how I write 🤷♀️  
> I write for fun, I love writing, I know I should work to improve myself and I am trying but it seems not enough

Harry watched Louis for three days, he wasn’t getting better and he didn’t want to go to the hospital, he called his doctor and Harry bought him the medicines , he watched him night and day but he couldn’t skip his work again. So he would go in the morning after making Louis his breakfast, and then during his break he would come back home to make him some soup and make sure he ate perfectly. And when he finished his shift he would return home right away to help him with his bath and make him something hot.

Louis was really sick, he couldn’t leave his bed even for a wee. He hadn’t felt that sick since he was a little kid, and back then his mom was there to watch over him. But this time Harry was there and he took good care of him just like his mom used to.  
When Jay knew he was sick she was so worried, she wanted to send Lottie to take care of her brother, she was so down till Harry talked to her and convinced her that he would be always there and never leave him till he became okay again. Louis told him that Jay knew the truth and she told Louis to fix everything with Harry , he told him that the girls had no idea so maybe that relaxed Harry a bit. Later at night Harry called Jay and thanked her for what she said about him he apologized for lying to her and he told her if he could turn back the time he would still go but as a friend, he asked for a second chance and she told him he was always welcomed with opened arms.

Day four Louis finally returned to work, Harry was too angry at him , he said he still needed time but he understood how life goes on, he gave Louis the ride this time by Louis’ car, although Louis didn’t like sharing. he parked the car there and said he would return to pick him up, he begged him not to drive sick, Louis wanted to laugh at that cause Harry had no idea how many times he drove while sick, drunk, and sleepy. But he didn’t mention that.

Louis called Harry at the middle of the day and told him he had to return home he promised he didn’t drive but he let one of his mates drove him. Harry had to believe him till he return home and he would see about that.

When he returned home Louis was on the couch, wearing his robe which was not normal, he was opening his laptop working, he said hi to Harry and told him to take his shower and not to cook, he ordered some food, he fed out of the healthy food Harry was making for him.

Harry was in his room collecting his hair in a bun when the door was knocked, Harry opened but he found a man, wearing like a waiter smiling at him “ Mr Styles, Mr Tomlinson is waiting for you"

Harry froze “ what?” what was going on 

"He is asking you to wear classic" 

Harry was still watching the man with confusion “ Lou?”, 

Louis said laughing from somewhere in the flat “ just do as you are told Hazza, I am paying by hour" 

The man smiled again and said “ food will be served in ten minutes sir" and he closed Harry’s door.

Harry didn’t move, then he heard Louis saying “ hurry up" 

Harry dressed a nice shirt with a jacket, and then a classic pant. He even dressed his gucci boot, he then walked out of the room and the waiter was still waiting for him. He then guided him towards the outside. The balcony.

The place was amazing , it wasn’t cold it was filled with scented candles, and it was decorated classically, the table was in the middle, Louis was watching him with big smile, he stood up and walked to him and took his hand, he sat him on the table on the huge comfortable chair that Harry had no idea where did it come from.

The waiter then said once Harry sat with opened mouth “ welcome to Sizzler sir, shall we start?” 

Louis answered “please, we are starving" 

The waiter smiled and walked inside 

Harry looked at Louis “ what the hell? Is this true?” 

Louis giggled “ it is, I wanted so badly to takeQ you out and I know you would never accept since I am sick, so I brought the Sizzler here" 

Harry giggled and covered his eyes “ you are crazy” 

Louis shrugged “ I am , yeah" 

Harry then looked at him “ how do you feel now?” 

Louis giggled “I wasn’t even tired, I just wanted to return early home to make those arrangements without making you feel any suspicious “ 

Harry looked around him and sighed with a smile “it is amazing, no one had ever done this to me , maybe Liam was taking me out but.. this is..” he looked at Louis “ you made so much effort for me"

Louis smiled and took Harry’ hand “ you deserve it, you took care of me, I want to tell you how much I appreciate it"

Harry smiled “ well, you saved my life .how can I tell you I appreciate it" 

Louis rolled his eyes “ oh come on, Don’t be mean. All I meant I wanted to show you that I loved what you did" 

" I was joking" 

Then the waiter showed up with soup, he put the plates in front of them and he excused.

Harry was watching the soup, Louis said “ no pressure, but the food here is amazing, please give it a try, I preordered our dishes but they're still making it in the kitchen , so.. I hope you like it"

Harry gave a sincere smile and shook his head in disbelief  
Louis smiled back “shall we start?” 

He took his spoon and tasted it, so did Harry, Louis looked at him and shook his head “ yours are more better" 

Harry giggled , Louis continued “ I mean it, yours are better. I think you would be a great chief” 

“ thanks Louis.. I love cooking very much, Liam wanted me to take some classes so I could be a professional or something" he shrugged “it didn’t work out with me"

Louis was listening smiling “ maybe you should think about it again. I mean I only tasted the soup but it loved it already “  
Harry giggled “ stop it"

“ you should try my cook, I have plenty of embarrassing stories related to me cooking"

Harry frowned “you cooked for me" 

Louis shook his head “ not if I wanted to keep you alive. But there is a nearby homemade restaurant, I buy the food and reheat it and walah" 

The waiter then came and took the soup, Harry only ate half of the plate, then he put the main course.

Harry looked at the wonderfully decorated plate and looked at Louis “wow" 

Louis was watching his eyes , he only smiled and said “ I hope you like it curly" 

Harry giggled “stop calling me that !!” 

Louis shrugged “what, I thought you like it!! Besides It fits you. You have a natural shiny curly hair , I am sure at some period of your life someone was calling you curly" 

Harry shrugged “ Gemma did when we were kids ,I cut my hair and the nickname disappeared “ 

“you grew it back , the nickname reappears " 

Harry started to eat , he looked enjoying the food and Louis could swear his heart was going to stop. All he wanted was Harry to be happy and eat 

" how is your mom?”

Louis looked at him “ better, she wants to see us when I gain my strength back" 

" us?” he froze 

Louis sighed “ she made sure to bring you with me ,the kids are dying to see you" 

Harry was looking at him, he only nodded his head 

" no pressure curly, just saying hi and coming back the same day",

Harry left his fork and Louis lost his breath, Louis swallowed thickly “ did I make you uncomfortable? Listen.. forget it, don’t come it’s really okay-"

"No , it is not that… it just.. I don’t know I mean.. I will go as what?” 

Louis bit his lower lip “ whatever you want to call us" 

"Am I still gonna play the boyfriend “ 

Louis giggled “ you can be my fiancé if you want" 

Harry didn’t comment 

Louis sighed , he put his hand on Harry’s when he noticed they were shaking “ take it easy please, we were having fun, I can’t believe I killed the mood" 

" you didn’t no" he squeezed Louis’s hand then he said avoiding looking at his eyes “ does your mom know? I mean that I tried to end my life?” 

Louis frowned and shook his head “no, I didn’t tell anyone. I mean it is your story not mine. No one knows" 

Harry nodded and Louis felt that Harry finally breathed  
" so I will be your boyfriend “ 

" Harry I want you to be my boyfriend..for real" 

Harry was staring back at him, louis sighed “I know I promised you no pressure, I know you can’t believe my feelings but I want you to know what I want, and I will wait, if not today.. or this month or even this year I will wait"

Harry gave a smile and nodded.

Louis knew he wasn’t getting anything else from Harry so he said “ and now, we have got to eat all this, we still have dessert"  
Harry smiled brightly again “ dessert!” 

" Of course, now eat up.. come on" 

Harry smiled and took his fork again ,Louis felt air getting inside his lung again when Harry started to eat 

" next time I will take you to a restaurant me and Liam used to go, It serves sea food if you like it"

Louis moaned “ oh I love sea food “  
Harry smiled excitedly “good, cause they are the best. Liam adored sea food , he ate at every place. And finally we came into a conclusion. Or he did. It was that restaurant and Liam said-"  
then he cut himself .

Louis raised his head and looked at him, he frowned when he saw the look on Harry’s face “what!”

Harry looked down “I am sorry"

" sorry?” 

Harry sighed “I keep mentioning Liam, and I am ignoring what you might feel" 

" what I might feel Harry?” 

Harry shrugged 

Louis smiled “I love hearing about him, actually it only makes me sad cause I missed meeting him. I am sure he was a great man"

Harry nodded his head “ he was, yes" 

" I love hearing you talking Harry, I want to know more about you, know your friends and family through you, I really don’t mind" 

Harry finally looked at him and smiled “thank you" 

Louis shrugged, but Harry said it again “thank you louis" 

Louis smiled “you are welcome curly" 

They spent the date talking randomly about everything, Harry mentioned Liam once or twice, and every time Louis felt Harry was Wincing inside so Louis lightened the mood.

The date was perfect, they both had amazing time, laughed from the heart. And after the date they watched a movie together, Louis slept first and Harry helped him to bed and gave him his medicine.  
*****  
Louis felt a movement outside. He opened his eyes and he heard it again. It was coming from the bathroom and his heart wrenched. He felt there was something with Harry.

He left his bed warily and walked to the kitchen. And his heart dropped when he saw Harry sitting on the table crying.

He walked to him and hugged him 

Harry hugged back, Louis rubbed his back “ are you okay?” 

He pulled away and looked at Harry’s red eyes 

" can you take me to Liam?” 

Louis’s heart ached, but he nodded his head “ okay, dress up" 

Harry nodded and stood up, Louis helped him to his room, Harry only wore his jacket, and his sneakers . Louis did the same.  
The weather was too cold, Louis opened the heater and was watching Harry from time to time , Harry didn’t stop crying but at least he wasn’t sobbing now.

After two hour driving, Louis stopped the car and looked at Harry “ do you want me with you?” 

Harry nodded without looking at him.

Together they left the car,they walked till they reached the grave , it was still dark but the sun was shining in less than thirty minutes so the weather was getting warm soon.

Harry stopped in front of the grave and Louis noticed a new bouquet, so someone visited Liam recently. 

Harry was watching the flowers and then he covered his eyes and cried. Louis embraced Harry. Harry calmed down after ten minutes he looked at the grave again and he said “ hi Liam.. I am Harry. I know I promised you to see you soon, but I couldn’t “  
Louis’s heart was going crazy 

"I Don’t think I will do it soon. I know you feel happy for me..” he wiped his tears 

" I want you to meet Louis"

Louis didn’t expect that, he looked at Harry, Harry was still looking at the grave so Louis did the same 

" hello Liam. I am Louis.. I am Harry’s friend" 

" he knows you" 

Louis nodded 

Harry then said “ I am gonna stay with him Liam..” then he cried

It was when it hit Louis. Harry was taking permission form Liam. Harry didn’t want to love Louis because he felt he was cheating on Liam. Louis looked at Harry and his eyes stung, he wiped his tears hastily because he felt so sorry for Harry .

He squeezed Harry’s shoulder “ it is okay" he whispered, then he looked at the grave “ I will keep him safe Liam, Don’t worry about him" 

And Harry cried again. Louis sighed and said “ it is okay Harry, it is okay"

Louis stayed with Harry till he finally was ready to leave, the sun shined and it got wormer, Louis and Harry had work, together they drove home, Harry was feeling off and lost, Louis was feeling tired and exhausted. 

Once they entered the flat, Harry stood at the middle and said before even taking his jacket off “ I am sorry" 

Louis walked closer to him, he looked at his face “I understand “

Harry shook his head “ no, that was stupid, I don’t know why I did it God.. I feel so st-" 

" I understand Harry"Louis said again 

Harry stopped talking and looked at him, Louis nodded “ it is okay, I understand why you did that, it’s okay" 

Harry closed his eyes and sighed “ I never thought i can love again" 

Louis’s heart jumped , did Harry said love again 

Harry opened his eyes, and he looked at Louis, he shrugged like he found no words to say.

Louis hugged him and Harry hugged back

" don’t leave me too, please “ 

Louis tighten his grip “ I would never leave you Harry, that’s a promise" 

" never?” 

"Never"

Harry then sighed " Louis, can I be your boyfriend?" 

Louis tensed at the start then he pulled away and looked at Harry " are you sure?"  
Harry nodded " if you really want me" 

Louis smiled " I really really want you" 

Harry then shrugged 

" yes, Harry, I want you to be my boyfriend " 

Harry smiled through his tears, Louis then said " can I kiss you?" 

Harry nodded 

Louis cupped his face, and then they lips met.


	21. Chapter 21

Louis returned home, he heard Harry from the kitchen and smiled fondly. Harry was day off and they decided to call the boys to visit and tell them about the recent news. Ever since they became boyfriends and Harry was better. How better Louis didn’t exactly know but he was better. 

" baby, I am home “ Louis announced 

" In the kitchen “Harry answered 

Louis headed to the kitchen, and the smell penetrated his nose sterile, the smell was perfect and it reminded him home  
When he entered he was surprised, Harry was sitting on the table looking exhausted . Louis gave him a kiss and opened the oven and smiled widely “ Harry, what did you do?” he was also confused 

Harry smiled sheeply “ I might have changed the plans" 

Louis giggled “ might?” then he walked and sat in front of him “how was your day?” 

Harry sighed and he looked awfully tired “ like usual, I cleaned the house, cooked then watched some TV, then baked some cookies.. the usual" 

" the day off is for rest Harry, you exhausted yourself" 

Harry shrugged “the flat needed some cleaning, and you are not helping at all"

Louis giggled “ look at us talking like old married couples"  
Harry giggled and covered his face 

" did you sleep well last night?” Louis knew the answer before he heard it “ it was okay" 

Louis smiled softly “ Harry, it has been a month since we are sleeping together, it never was okay"

Harry sighed “ I don’t want to return to the pills again" 

“ me either,love. But you need your sleep"

Harry looked at him “what should I do then if not taking my pills”

Louis was looking at him debating whether to tell him or not what he was planning, he then decided to tell him. He left his seat and walked to the kitchen drawer, and he put out some pamphlets and put it in front of Harry “ I collected some of the good therapists around , I really want you to think about it, I can pay them and you can pay me later, I know we talked about it before, but please think about it" 

Harry sighed and took them, he looked at them 

Louis was watching him, Harry drew a frown across his face so Louis said “ I am sure they can help with your sleeps and nightmares.. you need a professional’s opinion baby about what you almost did" 

Harry groaned “ I told you I am not thinking about it again" 

" I know"louis said hastily “ they will help Harry" 

Harry huffed and put them down “ do you think I am crazy? “

"What?-"

" cause I am not"

" baby, who said anything about you being crazy, I am just trying to help, if -" 

Harry pinched his nose bridge “ can we talk about it later?” 

Louis kept his mouth shut , Harry looked at him “ I will think about It, I promise"

Louis nodded 

" I am nervous Louis, I don’t want us to fight" 

Louis turned softly again “ we are not fighting, we are arguing. Why are you nervous? If anyone should be nervous it has to be me, i mean Zayn and Niall are so overprotective.. I am sure they will give me hard time" 

Harry giggled “they are" 

" don’t be nervous please, if telling them about us is making you nervous then we can tell them when you can" 

Harry shook his head “ no I want to, Niall is calling me daily and i hate lying to me” 

Louis then took his hand and kissed it “ we will be alright, but let’s tell them when their stomach are full, I am sure they will be more easier after eating your food" 

Harry giggled then he said “ now, go and have a quick shower, they are on their way" 

Louis smiled and kissed him on the cheek before heading to his bedroom.  
******  
Harry was with Niall in the kitchen, since he smelled the food and he didn’t leave the kitchen, Louis and Zayn were sitting the table, Harry then went out of the kitchen and gave Louis the huge salad , Louis looked at it “ with extra lemon?” Harry nodded 

" and those small pickles?” 

Harry giggled “ yes" then he walked inside again , Zayn was watching Louis putting the salad with a smile 

"Okay, what is going on?” Zayn asked 

Louis looked at him “ what?” 

"You and Harry?” 

Louis tried not to laugh" me and Harry what?” 

"You are doing good together?” 

Louis sat in front of him “ of course we are, he is making me food, he is watching over me, he-"

"Oh God, you are sleeping together “ Zayn groaned 

"What? How did you.. I mean no.. fuck he is gonna kill me, he wants to tell you" Louis sighed 

“you are!” 

Louis whispered screaming “ keep quiet, I promised him he will be the one to tell " 

" okay okay, so what? Are you having an affair? Are you together. What?”

Louis smiled “ all I know that I love him so much Zayn" 

Then Harry showed up again carrying the lasagna and put it in the middle of the table. He then looked between the two of them , both were trying to avoid looking at him

"What?”

Then Zayn suddenly stood up and hugged Harry so tight, Harry surrounded his hand around him and looked at Louis who only shrugged.

Niall then showed up carrying the chicken , he put it on the table and he hugged him too 

Harry closed his eyes “ you told him?” 

Niall then pulled away “ why are we hugging Harry? I mean the food is great but why?” 

Zayn wiped his tears and sat on the table. Niall was freaking out “what happened? What’s wrong?” he looked at Harry with panicked eyes 

Harry only smiled and looked again at Louis “ Lou..” 

Louis stood up “ okay, sit down. Don’t worry. It’s a good news” 

Zayn reached his hand and pulled Niall to sit.

Louis then said “ okay, we meant to tell you after dinner, but Zayn is smartass and he figured it out himself" 

Harry only gave a smile ,Louis looked at him “ do you wanna say it?”

Harry nodded his head and took a deep breath “ me and Louis.. we are together now" 

Zayn was watching Harry with a proud smile while Niall screamed and clapped his hand “ yes.. yes… fucking yes!! It took you two months but yes" 

Then he jumped on his feet and embraced them both “I know you would be perfect together.. thanks God it worked" 

Louis frowned “ what worked?” 

Niall then gave a long sigh , he looked between the two men “ I knew if you both wanted to be saved, then you should be collected together “

Harry giggled and sat while Louis only gave Niall an understanding nod.

The food went perfect. They ate till they couldn’t breath, well, they all did except Harry, he only ate few bits but after all he was laughing and talking freely.

After dinner Louis and Zayn were washing the dishes , while Niall and Harry were chilling outside at the balcony 

" I don’t know Zayn, I mean sometimes he is good and sometimes he is just distant. I wish I have this ability to get inside his brain and figure everything out" 

Zayn smiled and dried the plate Louis gave him “ he is stubborn, and so deep" 

Louis nodded and then he sighed “ he needs therapy" 

Zayn snapped his head up, Louis shrugged “ he is not sleeping, he is not eating, he always has nightmares, and let’s not forget he tried to kill himself two months ago" 

Zayn took a deep breath, Louis added “ and about his heart, I need to understand his condition, he is not taking any medicine and he is always in pain” 

Zayn put his hand on his shoulder “ take it easy, mate. He will be okay. I mean I haven’t seen him laughing since Liam. Do you know how much you affect him?” 

Louis turned the water off, he looked at Zayn “I love him Zayn, I never imagined I might fall in love easily but I am fucking scared. You don’t know how freaked out I can be when he locks himself in the bathroom over ten minutes, or when i call him and he doesn’t answer. When I wake up and he is not there by myside...” he sighed “ I just want him to be okay" 

Zayn squeezed his shoulder “ I know. I understand what you are going through. Stick with him Louis. He needs you and you need him" 

Louis was going to talk when Niall entered the kitchen shouting “ we need to celebrate “ 

Louis looked at him and leaned on the sink “ how?” 

Niall took an apple “ we are going out now" 

Louis looked at Harry, he looked relaxed and was watching his friends fondly “ sounds good for me, curly?” 

Harry shrugged “ okay" 

******  
At the pub, they didn’t drink much because they all had work the next day, they all drank except Harry, Louis took only one shot because he didn’t want to have headache.

Harry and Zayn at the bar bringing some drinks, Harry was watching their table where Louis and Niall were talking  
" Niall looks so serious there" Harry said 

Zayn looked back and smiled “I am sure he is lecturering Louis over you" 

Harry’s smiled faded a little “he doesn’t have to" 

Zayn looked at him and nodded “ I know, but we know Niall.” 

"Louis is a good lad"

Zayn nodded his head , Harry then asked “ did you lecture him too"

Zayn shook his head “ he doesn’t need to . Actually I want to talk to you"

Harry raised a brow “ me?” 

Zayn smiled and nodded “ well, I know Louis will never hurt you" 

" but I will hurt him?” suddenly he became defensive 

Zayn sighed “ I didn’t say this, you won’t hurt him on purpose” 

Harry looked at him shocked “ wow" 

"All I am saying Harry, that the lad loves you so much, he cares about you and I know you do other wise you would never live at the same place with him or even be his boyfriend.. but-" 

" you think I will hurt him" 

" not on purpose" 

" God Zayn..” then he took the drink from the bartender and returned to the table.

Till the end of the night Harry didn’t talk to Zayn, didn’t even look at him of course Niall and Louis noticed the tension and Louis was going to kill zayn. 

Once Harry excused to the bathroom before they leave , Louis glared at Zayn “ what did you do?”

Zayn shrugged “ nothing “

" It doesn’t seem like not, obviously he is upset..” 

" i didn’t do anything “ 

" Then explain..” 

Niall had to interfere when he the boys started yelling “ guys, guys. He is Harry okay”

Louis snapped at Niall “and what does this mean?”

" it means one moment he is okay and the other he is… like this. I am sure Zayn has nothing to do with it.” Then he looked at Zayn who was looking down 

Louis sighed “ I think you should go"

Zayn looked at Louis "Tommo-"

" just go Zayn.. I have my car anyway” 

Niall took Zayn’s forearm and walked away. Louis looked at the bathroom direction, he saw Harry walking to him, then suddenly he stopped and turned his back, there was a guy who was taking to him. Louis never had seen him before. He wanted to walk to them but he waited for a bit, he couldn’t see their faces but he just hated that Harry was talking to a stranger. Then Harry was going to leave when the man grasped his forearm, it was when Louis walked to him. Harry said something and he noticed Louis walking towards him , the man looked at Louis and then he let go of Harry.

Harry walked directly to Louis and passed him saying “ let’s go"  
Louis had another look to the man who was watching them, and then he followed Harry.

In the car Harry was silent, Louis waited for an explanation that never came out

" who was that?”

Harry sighed and looked at the window “ no one”

" Harry-"

"Just drop it please “ 

Louis frowned, he looked at the road again but he was getting angry 

" well, I deserve to know" 

Harry huffed and closed his eyes “ drop it Louis. He is no one, I don’t wanna fight with you"

Louis snapped “we are not fighting, we are talking . Something happened ,this man knows you, he grasped your arm so he is someone" 

Harry didn’t raise his head, didn’t talk.

Louis closed his mouth till they reached their place. Harry left the car and he waited for Louis and together they entered the flat. 

Louis fished his phone and headed to the balcony “I am gonna call mom" he said. Harry looked at him sadly and nodded his head. He headed to their bedroom .

When Louis ended the call, he entered the room, and Harry was on bed, eyes red but no tears. Louis headed to the bathroom , he changed his clothes and brushed his teeth, he was still mad at Harry but he was watching him through the mirror and he hated how he looked. He turned off the light of the bathroom. And lied beside Harry . He didn’t talk as he didn’t know what exactly to say 

" he recognized me" Harry said , Louis looked at him , Harry was looking at his lap, he sighed and said “ he recognized me and wanted to tell me he knew who I was" 

Louis’s heart dropped , he knew how Harry hated this too much  
" I didn’t want you to see or to know. Because it is different now" he looked at him and tears formed immediately in his eyes “ we are together now, you are a good person and .. fuck I was a -"

" shut up" Louis said 

Harry shook his head, the tears fell freely “it always starts this way"

" what way?” 

Harry shrugged “ someone recognizes me then everything comes upside down" 

Louis took his hand “baby, I don’t care . I just want you to tell me, I hate to see you upset" 

Harry sighed and wiped his tears “I hate this, I wish it never happened “ 

Louis smiled “ don’t say that . We all have our mistakes okay. Just don’t close on your self, okay. I am here, I will always be here", 

*****  
Louis opened his eyes, he heard a sound, he didn’t know what was it, it felt like someone was suffocating. But how or why?  
He closed his eyes again and he heard it again, then he said “ Harry, do you hear that?” 

No answer, but he felt Harry was moving beside him. Louis sat in the bed and turned on the light, he looked at Harry and Harry was sitting, his hand on his chest and he couldn’t breath. The sounds were coming from Harry?

"What's wrong?” Louis jumped and he touched Harry 

Harry looked at him, his lips were blue, his body was trembling

“ can’t -breath"


	22. Chapter 22

Louis was watching Harry warily, Harry was sitting on the hospital bed, an oxygen mask over his face, his eyes were closed, his chest was rising and falling deeply, he seemed focused on only breathing. And louis was still freaking out. He was bitting his nails scared to move his eyes from Harry.

The last thirty minutes of his life was pure torment , he was watching Harry fighting to breath while driving, Harry didn’t want to go to hospital at first , he asked for his inhaler but his case was getting worse, so eventually Louis literally held him to his car where Harry was fighting both Louis and breathing. 

Harry reached his hand and took Louis's he squeezed softly although his eyes were still closed, he just wanted to let him know he was getting better. He wanted to calm his heart down.

Louis took a really long and deep breath, he looked down trying to calm himself a bit, he told himself Harry was better, he was breathing again, he looked alive again. Harry was there and alive.

" I am okay" Harry said 

Louis snapped his head up “ put your mask on" 

Harry obliged immediately but was still looking at Louis.

Louis then sighed “you scared the shit out of me Harry, you-" 

then the door of the room was opened , a doctor entered and Louis felt Harry’s hand tensed between his, he looked at Harry and he was looking down trying to avoid everyone in the room 

" hello, Harry" the doctor only said 

Harry nodded his head 

" long time no see" the doctor added cheerfully while reading Harry’s file. Louis looked between the two men, so they knew each other? 

" how is life?” the doctor asked looking at Harry again 

Finally Harry raised his head up “I am fine Luke" 

Luke nodded but he looked back at the file “ obviously, you are not. Have you been taking your medication?” 

Harry sighed “ it is just an attack" 

Luke looked at Louis first then at Harry “ not a regular one, have you been complaining any trouble breathing recently?” 

"no" 

" yes” Louis said 

Luke then put the file down, and looked at Louis , he gave him a smile “a friend of Harry I assume?” 

Louis nodded his head “ Louis Tomlinson, I am his boyfriend “

Luke looked surprised for a second , then he looked again at Harry “ good for you Harry" 

“ when can you sign me out?” Harry answered ignoring Luke's comment 

When Louis looked at Harry, he was looking down, he couldn’t read his face but he knew Harry was annoyed 

Doctor Luke sighed “ you need some tests"

"Maybe later" Harry added

"- maybe your boyfriend can help" 

"Luke" Harry snapped warning , and Louis had no idea what was going on.

Harry gritted his teeth “ just sign me out” 

Luke shook his head in disbelief, he wrote something on the file “ when you finish your session, you are free to go" 

Harry whispered “ thank you"

Luke bit his lower lip and said “ I am happy you are okay Harry, I really want to help, it's still me you know" he said softly

But Harry didn’t even raise his head “ I appreciate it Luke.” 

Then the doctor gave Harry a sympathatic look and then he walked out of the room.

Louis looked back at Harry , he wanted an explanation, but the look on Harry’s face shut his mouth up , again Harry was hiding behind his walls, and again louis felt helpless.

" I used to know him, he was Liam’s friend “

Louis frowned and nodded his head, he suddenly understood why Harry refused to come here, it was where he met Liam’s father and now Liam’s friend.

" help my find my shoes" Harry said, he put the mask down and Louis froze “what are you doing?” 

Harry looked at him “it is done. The doctor signed me out, you just heard him" 

Louis sighed “ what about those tests?” 

Harry shook his head and with Louis’s help he hopped down the bed “ later" 

", why?” 

" I have no money for this now" 

Louis sighed “ Harry-"

"No" Harry said sternly looking at Louis’s eyes “now help me find my shoes" 

Louis was smarter than upsetting Harry now , so he leaned and brought the shoes from under the bed, he didn’t leave Harry’s hand and Harry was leaning on him for support, he was still weak from the attack and Louis didn’t trust letting his hand. 

Once Harry put his leg on the first one the door was opened again, and Liam’s father stormed inside 

Harry froze, so did Louis 

The man glared at Harry and said icly “ so I heard right, you are here again?”

Harry hastily wore his second pair of shoe , the old man said “what brings you here? Are you sick again? Who is your victim this time"

Then he looked at Louis “ hay, you are from the last time?what are you ?his friend? His boyfriend god forbid?” 

Louis said trying his best to remain calm, he knew this man wanted to hurt Harry “how can we help you sir"

But the man ignored him and looked back at Harry “ why are you still here? Why people like you get to stay while my son not"

Harry sighed and looked down , he whispered “let’s go"

Louis looked at him and nodded immediately, they walked towards the door when the man said “ run son, run while you still can. Cause he is going to drain you out. He will take everything and let you to die .. your money, your happiness, you life" 

And with that Harry froze , he looked at the man “ that’s unfair" it was the first time Harry reply to the man , his sound was hurt and chocked with tears

The man glared at him “fair? How about my son die while he was still that young? Is that fair to you? I wish it was you .. I wish-" 

Louis couldn’t take it anymore “ Hay..” he let Harry’s hand and walked towards the man “ I am sorry sir, I don’t know who you are ,but I have heard about your son, and I know he was a good man and he loved Harry, so if you respect your son, please just leave him alone"

" loving that piece of shit was the worst thing happened to my son" he gritted his teeth, he then took a step closer to Louis “ are you his lawyer?”, 

Louis hated how this old man talked, grieving his son or not, he couldn’t talk like that to Harry 

" I don’t think you knew your son well then" 

It was like Louis pressed on an invisible button, the man suddenly shouted “my son was better off him, my son would be alive if it wasn’t for him"

"Not true, you can’t blame him for your son death, you-" Louis was shouting back

"Louis” he heard Harry calling his name from behind, he looked at Harry and he was crying 

Then the man said snorting “ you are his new victim then.. Well I warned you, didn’t I?” 

Harry said to Louis “ let’s just go, please “ 

Louis walked to Harry immediately, he looked tired and extremely sad, he reached his hand for Louis and Louis took it watching him, he was scared that Harry would collapse or something. 

But the man said “ has he take your money yet? You look good person..perhaps rich, so has he?” 

“ That’ enough" a woman entered the room, and once Harry saw her he gasped, then he covered his eyes and cried. Again Louis felt lost. Harry was sobbing covering his face with his hand and his whole body was trembling 

The man looked at the woman, and didn’t utter a single word, he left the room.

The woman looked at Harry, she was pretty, maybe at late 50s, with grey short hair and blue eyes. She smiled and walked to Harry, she hugged him and to Louis’s surprise, Harry hugged back. He rested his head on her shoulder and cried.

The woman patted his shoulder softly and Louis saw tears already formed in her eye, She then pulled away and wiped his tears “ I missed you" 

He didn’t talk , he was just looking at her 

" I am sorry about him, I just..-" she sighed and shrugged “ I don’t know how to deal with him anymore" 

Harry nodded his head “, I understand “ 

But she shook his head “no, he doesn’t have any right to blame you for Liam’s death , no right. It was not your fault Harry, I hope you believe me" 

He didn’t answer, but she insisted “ not your fault “ then she looked at Louis “ you are his friend?” 

Louis didn’t know how to answer, he had no idea who this was, and he didn’t like the reaction Luke gave him.he looked at Harry and Harry was looking down, so Louis only nodded his head  
" my boyfriend “ Harry said 

The woman’s eyes turned sad for a short second then she smiled honestly and she sighed “ oh God, I am so happy for you Harry, I am glad you finally start living again, I am sure Liam would be too, I know my son"

And fuck .

Louis’s heart dropped . She looked at him and smiled “ I hope you are taking care of him. Harry is amazing person and he deserves all the best" 

Louis smiled and nodded his head “ of course “

She then looked at Harry “ why did you stop coming Harry?” 

Harry didn’ answer, he kept looking down

"please come, you promised me that night", then she looked at Louis “please he must come, you too , I will wait for the two of you" 

Louis had no idea, come where , and why. But he only nodded his head, the woman was too kind and soft. Louis figured why everyone loved Liam. It was his mom genes.

" I have seen your files Harry, you can’t do this" she begged softly “I can help"

Harry only nodded his head, the she smiled “ you still have my number, call me to sit it up", then she hugged Harry again and said “ I have to go"

Louis and Harry walked outside the hospital, Louis was grateful no one talked to them again. The ride home was silent , Louis of course waited for an explanation but Harry kept silent.

Even when they got home, he didn’t talk. It was the time for wake up and they both didn’t sleep last night. Harry was silent Louis was angry because of this. He wanted Harry to talk, he didn’t want to feel an intruder, but Harry didn’t talk so Louis decided he wouldn’t ask

When Louis saw Harry putting out clean clothes from the closet he had to talk “what are you doing?” 

Harry looked at him “ changing my clothes? We have work" 

“ you are not going" Louis stood up and headed to him 

Harry sighed “ I will, and so do you. I can’t skip again you know that"

Louis snapped “ I don’t care , you just came out of the hospital “

Harry shrugged but kept calm, he didn’t want to irritate Louis but he also didn’t want to argue “ it was just an attack"

Louis huffed, he saw Harry was struggling and they both knew he needed rest “ it wasn’t like any attack, you were suffocating for God sake" 

“ chill-"

“Stop acting this way, stop pretending that this is okay" 

Harry was really trying not to get angry “ I know it is not okay, nothing between us is okay” 

“It is not about us Harry, it is about you… you were dying on me few hours ago. How do you expect me letting you go" 

“Because I am adult enough to know what is right and what is wrong for me, because this isn’t the first time and certainly not the last time to go to work after barely surviving , because this is my life and nothing and no one will change it" 

Louis pressed his mouth shut, that was a lot, that was something he never wanted to hear 

“ I will be okay"Harry said calmly “ I will stay away from the kitchen and its Thursday. No hard work" 

Louis didn’t talk 

“ I have to go lou , I can’t skip again, plus I won’t be able to sleep this drugs keeps me awake. So we will go to our work and when we return home you will order us something to eat.. okay?” 

Louis sighed , he knew there was no need for talking. He just walked away and headed to the bathroom. 

****  
When Louis left the bedroom, he found Harry waiting for him fully dressed . When he saw Louis he stood up ready to leave  
“ can you at least eat something?” 

“ I will eat there” Harry answered, Louis struggled to keep silent but he was fuming, he hated how reckless Harry was.

In the car no one said a word but before Harry leave the car he gave him a quick kiss and he pressed his hand, Louis felt he was begging him not to be angry but Louis didn’t say a word .  
During the day Louis didn’t call Harry, he was dying g to know how he was but he was upset and he didn’t want to add more pressure on the situation. 

It was the middle of the day when he couldn’t take it anymore, he took the phone but it was ringing already 

“HARRY?” 

“ Hi lou..” 

“ are you okay?” Louis’s heart was about to explode 

“ I am okay, I swear. You just didn’t call... are you mad at me?” 

Louis took a deep breath, he pinched his nose bridge “ I was going to call I swear, but.. I didn’t want to upset you; you seemed a little annoyed this morning “

Harry sighed “ I will never get upset from you. Caring for me is what keeping me alive lou” 

Louis nodded “ glad to hear it" 

“It is not you, it’s not.. it just.. I really didn’t want to talk about it, I wanted to protect myself from remembering , I know you will get mad at me, I mean you are already mad at me.. but God lou.. it hurts to see them all"

And with that Louis’s heart melted “ baby, I am sorry. I am not mad at you, I just .. I don’t understand. Why do you let him talk like this to you?”

“ he is his father" 

“ so what? He can’t say this shit to you" 

“ we will talk later okay, I will explain. I mean I should have before but I will later tonight “

“ okay baby" 

“ So are we okay?” Harry asked 

“ of course we are okay, we will always be. I will always be here love"

“ I love you" Harry whispered 

Louis gave a smile “ I love you more" 

*****  
As usual Harry barely ate, Louis didn’t comment too, but he made sure he drank something hot.

They watched a movie, Louis chose a funny one and they both laughed. Harry didn’t talk about what happened and Louis didn’t ask. But this time he wasn’t mad , he just gave Harry his time.  
They lied on the bed, and Harry closed his eyes, he gave Louis his back , Louis didn’t push him, he just turned the light off.  
Once Louis closed his eyes he heard sniffles . 

He then spooned Harry and played with his hair “ are you okay?”  
Harry took Louis’ hand and kissed it 

Louis buried his face on Harry’s curls and smelled him “ I love you curly" 

Harry chuckled . Then he took a deep breath

“ he killed himself “ 

Louis felt numb for a second, he prayed that he heard wrong, he prayed that Harry didn’t mean Liam 

“ that why his father blames me" then he took a deep breath, Louis kissed his shoulder cause he had no idea what to say 

“his father was my doctor, I mean he was the doctor Liam took me first to see, he didn’t know we were in relation back then, he started the treatment and I felt perfect, like I finally can breath without feeling that stab pain in the middle of my chest . I met his family, I met his friends.. but no one knew what was going on.” He took a deep breath again to regular his breathing 

“ when his father knew, everything turned upside down. He didn’t know his son was gay, he couldn’t accept the idea, and then somehow he knew what I used to work and he lost his mind. Liam loved his father so much, his life turned miserable and I know he was too sad, he didn’t give up on me, he took me to other doctor .. that’s how I met Ben" Louis tensed and Harry smiled “he has a great memory although I stopped seeing him two years ago" then he added "his father found out and became more angry, he felt Liam was challenging him, Liam was like he didn’t care but he did, he did so much. the old man gave him so hard time and then he asked him to choose. I begged him to choose his dad, I even left the whole place and broke up with him. I mean he is his father. Liam didn’t take it easily and I don’t know why he did it. I still don’t know why. He was always the one who asked me not to hurt myself, he was always the one who told me there was a solution for every problem.” Then Louis felt Harry tensed “he called me that night, he cried and said sorry over and over again. At the start I didn’t understand but then.. I felt there was something wrong. I begged him not to do anything stupid. He told me it was already too late; I called an ambulance and I rushed to his place." He cried and said "I was too late, I was too late Louis if I… if I knew..if he hadn’t met me… God.. it was my fault “ he sobbed and Louis hugged him tightly , he was crying too 

Harry sobbed hard and Louis said with a broken voice “ wasn’t.. even his mom said that"

“ how? I couldn’t save him, I .. he called me , I was the last one he heard his voice and I still couldn’t, and he always had saved me" 

Suddenly everything made sense. The way Harry always made sure Louis was there, the way he always feared people to leave, why he didn’t get in any relationship. All made sense.

Louis kissed his hair “ no, baby. He wanted this, he couldn’t face it anymore, it was his father who gave him hard time, if there is anyone to blame then it should be his father", 

Harry only sniffed " after Liam, his mom tried to give me meds, but I didn’t want this, I mean I killed her son, I don’t deserve this, I am not a charity case" he sobbed 

"Stop baby" 

Harry sniffed again 

Louis hugged tightly “ I wish I could help Harry, I really wish I could erase all your pain away, I wish I knew you earlier I don’t know maybe things would be better I don’t know-"

“ just stay" Harry whispered 

“ always baby" 

“ no, stay even if I turned awful, even if I asked you to go, please don’t just leave me. Stay"

Louis felt his tears cascaded his cheeks and on the pillow and Harry’s hair “ I promise baby, I will never leave Harry. I will never let go" 

Harry then again kissed Louis’ hand “ I love you Lou, I want you to remember this, no matter what" 

Louis kissed again Harry’s shoulder “ I love you more baby, I love you more”


	23. Chapter 23

Life was doing alright for both of them, there was no more visits to the hospital , harry didn’t have any other attack but he wasn’t perfectly fine , he was still coughing and out of breath. Louis of course noticed but every time he tried to open a conversation about it, Harry always skipped it.

They were both going to their works, and then return home and Harry was cooking for them and Louis washing the dishes. Then they were watching a movie and maybe sometimes Niall or Zayn or both would join them.

So yeah, life was doing good for both of them. Harry started to sleep three hours with no nightmares, and if he was lucky enough, he would sleep the whole night without them. He stopped panicking at the middle of the night and he started eating again.

Louis was feeling more and more relaxed, every day passed where Harry slept and ate was a win.

Harry just finished packing the cookies Louis adores. The weekend was tomorrow and they invited the boys for a day where Harry would cook for them. Harry noticed that since Louis went to their room to call his mother he didn’t show up again . So he felt there was something wrong.

He opened the door and he found Louis sitting on the sofa looking down. His heart dropped and he walked closer “Lou?” 

Louis startled and looked at him “Hay Hazza" 

Harry walked closer “ everything alright?”

Louis nodded his head and then he shrugged “ I don’t know”

“ What’s wrong ?” 

Louis sighed “ I think she is sick again" 

Harry’s heart melted, he sat beside him on the sofa, he patted his thigh 

“ she says she is fine, but I know there is something wrong" 

“ go and see her" Harry said, Louis looked at him, Harry nodded “ it’s weekend, you should go" 

Louis nodded his head “ yes, yes I will do that" 

Harry smiled sadly “ good, I am sure she will be so happy", he embraced him and kissed his cheek “ I am gonna make us some tea" he stood up but Louis grasped his hand “ come with me" 

Harry looked at him, louis was looking back “ please, come with me"

Harry sighed and sat beside him “she knows everything Lou, you don’t need to prove anything “

Louis shook his head “ no, I want you to come, I want you with me. I am so scared Harry" 

Then he covered his eyes. Harry frowned and he hugged him “ are you sure about this? I mean.. back again to your family after what happened-"

But Louis hugged tighter “ please, I want you with me , you are my boyfriend . They already know that “ he looked at Harry “ I want them to know you” 

Harry smiled sadly “ which one? The real me or the one you created”

Louis sighed “ I want them to know Harry styles . My boyfriend who I love so much” 

Harry only smiled wide and didn’t talk, Louis said “ if this is too much I can understand-" 

“ no, no.. let’s do it. I missed your family so much"

*****  
Louis couldn’t’ sleep the night, he was crying and it hurt Harry, Harry hugged him and tried to calm him down a little bit, later they both slept cuddling.

So when the morning came, Louis gave Harry the keys, he said he hadn’t slept well and he was so nervous, he said he might crash them. Harry took the keys and made them quick breakfast, sent the boys an apology and he took the small bag for one day and together they left. 

The weather was better but he still coughed when he moved outside, the cough didn’t stop that he leaned on the car and took two puffs of the inhaler, he knew Louis’s eyes were on him but he appreciated that he didn’t comment.

The ride was long, Harry tried to talk about everything to snap Louis from his thoughts , it scared Harry too because he didn’t want to think that Jay was dying. 

Once they parked the car and walked out of the car, they heard the kids yelling their names, then the door was opened while Harry was putting the bag out, he saw Doris and Ernest running towards them.

They both jumped on Louis, they were hugging him so tight and then they noticed Harry, 

“HARRY" Doris yelled and then she jumped and hugged him just as she did with Louis and then Ernest.he hugged them both while the three of them were giggling. 

Doris was still hugging his neck she said “I missed you Harry, did you got my bracelet?” she said excitedly  
“ I did, I am wearing it right now"  
“show me, show me" he put them down and she was jumping excitedly, Harry rolled his sleeve and he0 showed her the bracelet beside Liam’s, Louis was watching fondly and he made a mental note to bring Harry a third one.

Ernest was watching shyly , he was a shy boy, then Harry whispered something in his ear and Ernest's eyes went wide and he hugged Harry’s neck again 

“ Hay, what did you tell my brother?” Louis asked but before he could answer the twins came running with Lottie, they hugged Louis so tight, Lottie hugged the longest, then the twins hugged Harry and phoebe played with his hair , he was wearing his famous red bandana , Louis called it famous bandana since Harry never lost it, if it wasn’t on his hair it would be around his wrest, or over his mouth, it could be hanging on his pants, he never lost it , and when he asked Harry answered it was Gemma's 

“ I like your hair" 

Harry giggled “ I like yours too" 

"Wait a minute, you were driving?" Daisy asked , Harry nodded ,Daisy " you were? He let you?"  
Harry giggled " I guess he can share his car with me, he trusts me" Louis rolled his eyes and didn’t talk.

Then lottie hugged him quick and walked away, he frowned and was surprised , he looked at Louis but he was watching his sister too.

They walked inside the house and then Louis asked 

“where is mom?”  
***** 

Lottie opened Jay’s bed room door, Louis took Harry’s hand and when he saw his mom he squeezed his hand and tensed .  
Jay looked so sick, she was pale and small on her bed. She was covered with her rose duvet and even she was under the duvet she looked slimmer. Her face was exhausted, her eyes were weak

When Jay saw them, she gasped and reached her hand for them, Louis ran to her and hugged her , she wrapped him and patted his back softly, Harry was standing in front watching them, his heart ached and he remembered his mom, she reached her hand for him and he walked and hugged her too.  
She then looked at them, Louis sat beside her on the bed while Harry stayed standing 

“ what a beautiful surprise “ she said , although her eyes were tired but they looked happy 

“ why didn’t you say something? We could have cooked for you your favorites, I sent the servants home for the weekend" 

Louis patted her hand “ Harry will cook for us, that’s the real surprise” 

Harry giggled, she looked at Harry and said “ I am very happy to see you again" 

Harry wanted to talk but he knew his voice would betray him so he nodded smiling.

Jay then looked at Louis “ how are you doing darling, you look tired" 

Louis sighed “ I am fine mom, I just couldn’t sleep last night"  
Jay stroked his hair “ everything will be okay"

Louis leaned to the touch, then Harry said “ I guess I should start making the dinner then" 

Jay smiled “ can’t wait, lottie can help" 

Lottie only nodded her head, she walked outside the room and Harry followed 

Louis then looked at his mom “ how do you feel?” 

Jay shrugged “not okay boobear, I am sorry" 

Louis only nodded, she then said “ I am too happy to see you together “

Louis sighed “ he was worried, he didn’t know if he is still welcomed” 

Jay looked sad “are you both okay?”

He nodded “ very, he is amazing mom, has a great personality, shy , smart and kind heart, I just want to help him confront his issues”

Jay nodded “ you both need each other then. I have never seen you talking this way about anyone ever since Nick" 

“I know. I am falling hard for him" 

“you deserve to fall in love. And I know he loves you the same. He actually loved you since the last time. The way he was looking at you it was like you were in love . It is the same way he looks at you now, and now you are both in love” 

Louis sighed “ now enough talking about us. Tell me about you, what do the doctors say?”

Jay smiled sadly and told him all about her case. Louis and Jay relationship was more than a mother and a child, it was like two close friends who faced the impossible together and returned. They supported each other, they were like one person . So when Louis first knew about his mom, his life literally came upside down. He got depressed and he didn’t know how to face it, so he took off. He left the place and barely returned. Not because he didn’t care but because he didn’t know what to do

****  
In the kitchen, Harry and the girls were in the kitchen . The twins were talking and talking they told Harry how they loved his photos, and they asked him for another photo shoot, Harry excused and said he forgot to bring his camera, maybe next time.

When the twins left the kitchen to help the kids drawing, lottie suddenly asked 

“what are you doing here again?”

Harry was cutting some pepper looked at her with big eye, she shrugged “I mean I know “

Harry closed his eyes, he left the knife cause his hands were awfully trembling, he didn’t want this to happen 

“ I heard mom and Louis talking, you are not together.. he paid you for this. So now what? Is he still paying? Is this another play?”

Harry sighed and looked at her “ you are mad" 

“Of course I am, I loved you and you lied to us. I loved to have you as a part of this family, I just don’t understand how could you do this?how could you pretend loving us, why did you let us love this way?” 

“I didn’t pretend, I loved you. I mean I still love you and I loved to be a part of this..” 

She chuckled “ stop lying.”then she looked at him “I don’t know why lou brought you back but I don’t want you near my family again. They know nothing but I want-" 

“ Lottie" Louis called her name he was looking at her with shocking eyes “what are you doing?”

Lottie took a deep breath “ I know you are not together,I know he is fake" 

“he is not"

“he is"

“he is not. not anymore , he is my boyfriend “

She chuckled “ you can fool the twins, you can fool the kids , even mom but not me" 

They heard the kids coming and Harry looked at Louis with eyes full of dread, Louis didn’t want to put Harry through this, he looked at his younger sis “ can we talk somewhere?”  
She nodded her head, obviously she didn’t want her siblings to know the truth.

Lottie walked to her room, Louis entered the room and he tensed, he didn’t enter this room since Fizzy. He didn’t know why Lottie did that, why she moved in her sis room.

Lottie sighed softly “ I didn’t want to forget her" she took a shaky breath “ that was the only way to remember her. She used to give me strength you know" 

Louis was watching Fizzy's pictures hanging on the walls  
“ I missed her” Louis said 

Lottie wiped her tears, he looked at her “ Harry is my boyfriend. Listen I am sorry I lied to you, I am sorry I brought a fake man pretending to be my boyfriend. I am sorry to you.. because I deceived you, but I am not sorry because doing this making me meet the most precious person I could ever met. I love him Lots , I love him so much and I will explain I swear I will explain everything later, but right now I want you to believe me. Give him another chance, give me another chance" 

“ I don’t understand why did you do this?”

He sighed “I did it for mom, I don’t want her more worried about me, I don’t want you to worry about me" 

Lottie was looking at her brother again tears formed in her eyes Louis smiled and wiped them “ ever since Fizz and I know how you took this family responsibility on your shoulder and with mom illness. You acted as if you were the eldest and I let you. I skipped everything and took off. And I am so sorry. I am so sorry lottie for this"

She hugged him “ you are my brother, I love you and just will always worry about you"

He kissed her forehead, she added “ and I like Harry, but I am mad at him I mean he deceived us" 

“not his fault baby, blame it on me, I asked him to do this.”  
Lottie shrugged “ he seems good"

“ he is perfect, and he loves you all guys. He doesn’t have a family so I really want him to feel like we are his family" 

Lottie smiled and she looked at her brother “ you love him Lou?”  
Louis nodded his head “ I love him so much lottie. I really want us to work”

*****  
When Louis returned to the kitchen he didn’t expect to see Dan there sitting on the kitchen stool, he was talking with Harry and laughing as if they were best friends.

“Dan?” Louis said 

Dan stood up and walked to him, they hugged so tight, Louis always loved Dan, although they weren’t meeting alolllt but Dan was a great man who made his mom happy.

“ you are finally here, I can’t believe my eyes" Dan said looking at Louis 

“ we missed you at the last wedding" 

Dan sighed “ I know, I had to be in Thailand.. sorry about that"

They both sat on the stools in front of Harry, louis looked at Harry to make sure he was okay, Harry smiled softly although he looked super nervous , then he looked at Dan “ you have met my boyfriend” 

Dan sighed dramatically “ finally I met the man who my kids didn’t stop talking about, you are my daughter's crush Harry"  
Harry giggled and then he walked to the oven, he checked the food and said “dinner will be ready in few” 

Dan put his glass of wine down, and he stood up “I will go and check on Jay. I am sure she will join us today on dinner” 

Louis nodded and then Dan left, Louis looked at Harry “ where are the girls?” 

Harry shrugged, he took a deep breath 

“ are you okay baby?”Louis asked 

“How is Lottie?” Harry answered 

Louis took Harry’s hand and said “ everything is great" 

Harry was looking back at his eyes, he nodded, then the twins entered the kitchen 

“lou" Daisy started “ are you leaving tomorrow?” 

Louis nodded sadly “ we have to, we both have work and we need some rest" 

Daisy sighed and sat beside him “we miss you lou" 

Louis smiled “ I will come again later, I promise" 

Then Phoebe asked “ Harry.. did you promise the kids a bed time story?” 

Harry nodded giggling “ and some drawing with Ernest" 

PHOEBE giggled “ they are cleaning their room and sitting the beds, they are super excited" 

Then Lottie showed up and entered the kitchen, Louis noticed Harry’s face turned pale for a second, lottie only walked and she sat beside Harry , she looked at him “ I am starving" 

*****  
The food was surly delicious, they all ate till they couldn’t breath, even Jay joined them. After dinner Harry took the kids with the twins and headed to their room.

Louis helped his mom and put her on bed. He covered her and he looked at her , she said “ thank you, thank you for coming, you really made me happy , I wanted to see you" 

Louis smiled “ I am here”

She sighed and closed her eyes “ are you okay? I feel there is something “ 

Louis shook his head “ no I am really fine. Just worried about you" 

“ and Harry?”

“What about Harry?” 

She shrugged “ everything good together? You didn’t tell me how you worked things out?” 

Louis sighed “ he is broken mom. He is so broken. I don’t know if I can help him but.. I really wish i could"

He told her everything about Harry, about Liam, about his mental and physical state. He told her how much he wanted to help but he didn’t know how. He told her that he knew Harry loved him so much but he was scared that if things turned wrong Harry would think to end his life again.

*****  
Louis was on his bed when Harry entered the room, he lied beside him , he looked so exhausted, Louis was watching him  
Harry smiled “ I love kids, I love your sibling, I told them five bed stories and I was ready for more but they slept" 

Louis giggled, Harry too “ they remind me of Paul’s kids" 

Louis frowned and looked at him “ Paul?” 

“my boss, he has two kids ,they are adorable” 

Louis smiled and he put his head on Harry’s chest“ maybe one day we will have our own"

He expected Harry to tense or freak out, but instead Harry stroked his hair “ you will do all the pregnancy my heart can’t take it" 

Louis giggled and looked at him “I am serious though"

Harry was staring at Louis’s eyes and whispered “ don’t do this" 

“what?"

“make me dream.” 

Louis frowned “why not?” 

Harry shrugged “ I don’t want to get attached to my dreams and suddenly wake up all alone"

Louis sighed and rested his head back on Harry’s chest “ Harry, I won’t leave"

Harry printed a kiss on his hair “ I know"

“Then dream" 

Harry giggled underneath him “ okay, I would love that. I want family, do you know Sam has kids?”

He did , he heard him that day

“ really?” 

Harry nodded and smiled “ he has twins. I want to have twins" 

Louis smiled “then I am the man for this, I have two sets of twins. It runs in the family”

Harry nodded “ yeah, I know" he then took a deep breath “ I want twins, a boy and a girl. And a big house with a back yard. I want a dog.. no two I don't want him to be lonely" 

Louis giggled “ you don’t want him to be lonely?”

“ no, not fair" 

“ i have two dogs" 

He felt Harry’s heart jumped “ you have?” 

Louis looked at Harry giggling “ I do" 

“where are they?” 

“ A friend of mine is taking care of them, I don’t have time and I am always out..” 

Harry’s face lightened up, his eyes glowed and he asked very excited “ what are the names?”

“Bruce and Clifford”

Harry covered his mouth “oh my God , it’s true" 

Louis was watching him giggling, Harry then said “ bring them back”

“ Harry, I don’t have time-"

“I do, bring them , call him, tell him we will take them back"  
Louis nodded “ okay"

“Tomorrow” 

“Okay curly"

“call him now, tell him"

Louis giggled again “ I will okay, I will" 

“Go" 

“Hazza, it is after midnight, he is sleeping” 

Harry sighed but was still smiling wide “okay, in the morning then"

Louis rested his head back again on his chest  
“Bruce and Clifford “ Harry whispered 

Louis wrapped his hand around Harry’s waste and smiled . He was grateful for this moment 

******  
Next morning louis felt his body was jumping on the air, he startled and opened his eyes but he saw his twins siblings jumping on the bed. When they saw he was awake they laughed so Hard, they collapsed beside him, he noticed that Harry wasn’t there, he then hugged them both and tickled them , they laughed screaming that his head hurt.

“ where is Harry?” he asked 

Doris answered “ with mom" 

They all were looking at the ceiling  
“ Louis" Ernest started “ is mom gonna die?” 

Louis frowned he didn’t look at his younger siblings because he didn’t know what to say 

“Ernest, we talked about it"Doris said “ she will be better if she’s gone, she is in too much pain, besides she will be with Fizzy"

Louis’s tears fell, Ernest sighed “ I know, I will miss her though”

Doris took her twin hand “me too, but she is still here okay, so stop thinking this way” 

“Lou" Ernest said again , Louis cleared his voice “yes”

“ You are not in pain right? You will stay” 

Louis turned and looked at his siblings, the two of them were waiting even Doris who sounded older and wiser few minutes ago

“ no, no I am not going anywhere” 

“ promise?” Doris asked 

“ promise” 

“And Harry? He won’t go anywhere right? He will stay?” 

Louis nodded “ sure" 

“But he is sick" Ernest said “ he used his ..small device this morning. He put it on his mouth” 

“it’s called inhaler, and he is fine. Don’t worry" but he was worried 

Doris giggled “ Lou.. are you gonna marry him?” 

Louis smiled again “ do you want me to marry him?” 

“ can you? Yes “ 

“yes, please “ 

“ yes, yes" 

The kids said excited. Louis giggled “ maybe, one day we will marry who knows?” then he sat on his bed “let’s go and find him" 

*****  
Louis heard his mother laughter before he entered the room, he opened the door and Harry was there with her and Lottie.  
“morning sleepy head" his mother said 

Harry looked at him and smiled wide “ I made you breakfast, I didn’t want to wake you up, you looked tired" 

“ shut up Harry, you sent the kids” Lottie said

Harry giggled “ it worked” then he looked at Louis “ I am ready whenever you are" 

Louis smiled and nodded, he sat by his mom and lottie stood up “ I will make a phone call" 

Jay looked at Harry and patted the spot where Lottie was, so Harry sat on it.

She took their hands and intertwined their fingers “ stay like this" 

Harry looked at the hands and didn’t talk, Louis smiled and looked at his mom 

She said “ you make each other happy, you care about each other. You love each other. Make your love grow bigger, let it conquer whatever comes" 

Louis looked at Harry and Harry looked back “ guess I am willing to do it" 

Harry smiled “ yeah, me too" 

Then Harry’s phone went off, he looked at it “ it is my boss, I am gonna answer this" 

And he excused and left the room.

Jay looked at Louis “ visit me again" 

“of course “ 

She smiled “ and bring him too” 

Louis took her hand and kisses her “ stay okay mom" 

She hugged him so tight, and he had that feeling that it would be the last time he talk to his


	24. Chapter 24

Louis was on the phone with his mom, when Harry finally entered home. Bruce and Clifford immediately ran to him, yes Louis brought them back and yes they loved Harry way more, Harry leaned on his knees and hugged them and rubbed their heads and necks. Louis watched him taking Off his coat with a smile “ he is here now mom, okay .. okay I will take care of him"  
Harry smiled widely, he took off his shoes , louis said “ fine mom, he won’t cook.. I know he is tired" 

Harry giggled and walked to him followed by the two dogs , he collapsed beside him on the coach, he rested his head on his lap and he closed his eyes, Bruce and Clifford lied underneath him

Louis of course got worried “ okay, mom call you later" 

He ended the phone and asked Harry immediately “everything okay?”

Harry nodded 

Louis wrapped his hand around him , Harry’s hand stretched to pat the dogs , Louis rolled his eyes “ they love you more than me Harry stop spoiling them” Harry giggled 

Then Louis sighed “ I hate night shifts" 

Harry didn’t answer, Louis asked again “ Harry?” 

Harry sat right and looked at him “ Paul is getting married" Paul was the café owner 

Louis frowned “ and.. you don’t like that? I thought he is already married" 

Harry sighed and shook his head “ he is a widow and now he is getting married again"

Louis still didn’t understand “okay, why are you mad about it?”

“I am not mad.. I just..he asked me to come" 

Louis smiled “of course he would, you are his favorite employer”

Harry shrugged “he wants to meet you" , Louis nodded “ of course,I will go” 

Harry looked at him again, Louis sighed “ what is it? You don’t want me to come?” 

“of course I want you to come.. but.. Paul is.. Paul is an old friend. I knew him ever since I stepped here. He would be overprotective sometimes” 

Louis giggled “ I can handle him, don’t worry, I handled Niall, Zayn, Sam..so Paul is going to fall in love with me" 

“haaay, only me get to fall in love with you" 

Louis giggled “ I ordered Chinese. It will be here any time now. Get your shower and don’t keep me starving" 

Harry kissed him on his cheek and stood up, he walked to the room while Louis was watching. And of course the dogs followed him.

Then he called Zayn  
“ Tommo"

“hello Zayn, how are you and the baby?”

“We are all fine, you and Harry?is he still refusing to meet my baby?” he sounded sad

Louis sighed and rolled his eyes, they talked about it million times “ just give him time , please”

“fine. Only because i love him" 

Louis smiled “I know you do. So Do you Know Paul? The woner of the café Harry works In ?” 

It took Zayn a second to answer “yes.. why?”

“ he is getting married, and Harry doesn’t seem happy about it" 

“ it is not that, of course he is happy about it, the lad had rough time after his wife, Harry lived with him for quiet some time"

“ did he?” Louis frowned, why didn’t Harry mention that 

“Yeah, Paul knew everything about him, he gave him shelter and everything, he tried to help you know…", then he said with broken voice " Harry did it in his place" 

Louis’ heart dropped “ did what?” 

Louis heard Gigi calling zayn , or screaming his name , the baby just did something horrible again, Zayn sighed “ I am gonna call you later, Gigi is calling me, okay?” 

“Yeah..fine. bye"

He ended the call feeling more curious to know about Paul, what did Zayn mean? And why Harry neglected telling him he lived with him. Why Harry was hiding something. 

The doorbell went off and he walked and opened the door, he took his order and called Harry “ food is here" 

He put the food in the kitchen and headed to the room, Harry was standing at the middle of the room looking at his phone , then he looked at Louis with a pale face 

“I was calling you" Louis said 

Harry nodded, he put his phone back and walked with Louis.

They ate their food, Harry acted normally so Louis figured he was overreacting, and he really was. But he saw Harry was eating and telling him about his day, so maybe there was nothing to worry about 

“When is the wedding?” Louis asked while cleaning the kitchen table.

Harry was drinking some water “ this weekend”

Louis nodded and looked at him “ you are close?”

Harry took a deep breath and gave Louis his back to put the glass in the sink “ we were.. at some time” 

Louis frowned because why was he hiding “ and now? What happened?”

Harry looked at him and shrugged “life"

Louis nodded, Harry wasn’t going to talk, so he would interrogate Zayn later 

“ how about a movie?” Louis asked 

“I would love that" 

*****  
Louis couldn’t meet Zayn or talk to him for the whole week, Harry seemed okay and Louis didn’t think about it again. The weekend was the next day and Harry was on the phone with Niall, they were getting ready to sleep , they were both on bed  
“ I don’t care Niall, I don’t want to do it" , then Harry pinched his nose bridge, but Louis heard Naill talking , then harry said “ I know nothing about marketing, I know nothing about numbers I don’t wanna work there.. “ he giggled “ I don’t wanna work with you" 

Niall said something and Harry answered “ how they even gonna hire me? I didn’t finish my school” he laughed “ they won’t hire me cause I am a good looking Niall" Louis laughed too but approved with Niall 

Harry finally sighed “ yeah, I wanna do this for the rest of my life, either serving people of taking their photos, that’s what I am good at Niall, but really thanks for offering" he said the last words softly “Nighty Niall" he said and then ended the phone 

Louis looked at him “what was all that about?” 

Harry put the phone beside him “ he offered me a new job. I don’t know how he is thinking “ 

Louis laughed “ he is just trying to help" 

Harry nodded “ I know, I know..” 

Then Louis turned the light off, They lied on bed and Harry asked “ Louis, do you think I will work with Paul for the rest of my life?” 

Louis sighed “no" 

“no?”

Louis shrugged “ I don’t know, I think one day you will own your own café. I know how much you like serving people and feeding them, but I guess in the future you will have your own signature where people will come across the country to eat your muffins , or your sweat cheese cake. Or your cinnamon rolls that I adore..Harry why didn’t you make me some this week,” 

Harry giggled “ I will, I promise “ then he turned to face Louis “but I like the idea.. never actually thought about it" 

Louis turned to face him too “ what did you think?” 

Harry shrugged “nothing, I never thought I am gonna make it till here" 

Louis tensed and Harry cursed “ I am sorry, I am sorry.. I just talk without thinking with you" 

Louis didn’t talk he kept staring at him, Harry sighed and said “ maybe when I was younger ,I always dreamt to be a doctor, I wanted to save people you know .. it never happened. I didn’t even finish school"

“ you still can do it" Harry only snorted "There are jobs don’t require education, only need talent “ 

Harry laughed “ like what? Singing?” 

Louis giggled “ yeah… if you are interested I know a lot of famous people, you know Beckham and I are friends", 

Harry giggled “ yeah, you almost killed him… totally friends" 

“Haaay, okay.. cooking, you are good at it" 

Harry sighed “ I don’t know , I mean the stress in the kitchen... And vapors sometimes disturb my asthma" 

Louis knew he didn’t only mean his asthma , but he didn’t comment 

“ okay.. photographing which you are brilliant at“

Harry took a moment “yeah, I like it"

“I can help"

Harry didn’t talk, Louis didn’t talk, he didn’t know why he always refused his help.

“ I will only look for something.. you know. I think I can help, is that okay?” 

It was dark but he felt Harry’s head was nodding, then he took his hand and kissed it, he whispered “I love you" 

Louis sighed and he hugged harry “ I love you more curly"

******  
Harry was hugging Paul tightly, Louis didn’t expect Paul would look like that, a huge tall guy with an innocent face. He loved him already, 

“I can’t believe you are getting married" Harry said, Paul rubbed his back still hugging him

Paul looked at Louis and shook his hand and looked at him still embracing Harry, he knew how much Harry meant for this guy.  
“congratulations “ Louis said

But Paul pulled him and gave him an embrace too , then he looked at him “ I was waiting to meet you, it is really pleasure “ 

“pleasure is mine" 

Then two kids ran to Harry and hugged him, a boy and a girl, maybe ten and seven years. Harry hugged them and they didn’t let go.

Then he looked at Louis “okay, guys. I need you to meet my boyfriend” 

The boy who was the older looked at Louis and shook his hand “hello, sir" 

While the girl only smiled and had her face in Harry’s neck. Harry pulled her away softly then looked at her and said “what a wonderful dress you have here"

She giggled and Louis said “ just like a princess"

The boy then said excited “ Harry, come on. I need to show you something “

He took Harry’s hand and pulled him away that Harry almost tripped 

Paul said “easy tiger” 

Harry looked at Louis excusing and the three of them disappeared. 

“The kids just love him"Paul said 

Louis looked at him and smiled “who doesn’t?” 

Paul smiled “ is he okay? I know he lives with you ..so how is he doing?” 

Louis nodded “he is doing good, yeah" he didn’t know what Paul know and didn’t know.

Paul sighed and looked down “ he looks okay, he is different. He wants to live" then he looked at Louis.

Louis nodded, Paul smiled “I guess all thanks to you"

Louis smiled, the man was nervous and fighting emotions , Louis said “ he is fine. I take care of him. I will keep him okay"  
Paul nodded “ that’s what I want to hear, he had been through a lot. He was in so dark places and I… I don’t want him to fall for them again. Don’t let him" 

Louis nodded “ I won’t, I promise" 

Then Paul’s bride walked towards them , she said “ can I steal him for a second?” 

Louis smiled and Paul excused and left.

Louis was by himself, he looked around and he felt warm filling his chest. It was a calm simple wedding, not like the weddings he attended back home.

Ten minutes later Harry returned to him smiling shyly “ I am so sorry” 

Louis smiled widely and embraced him “ I am having fun, I swear" 

Harry was also having fun, the band was singing, Paul and his wife was dancing Harry was watching fondly, then he took his hand and ran to the dance stage and they danced. 

Harry danced and Louis was watching him happily too, he looked funny but he didn’t care, he didn’t know the moves but he was so comfortable dancing happily with him and with the kids.  
“is that Harry styles?” the band said between the songs, Harry looked at them and smiled, Louis looked between them and then raised a brow 

The lead singer said “come on Harry, like the old days"

Paul and the kids and couple of guests cheered, Harry shook his head shyly and didn’t move, he looked at Louis “we used to sing together at the café “ 

The lead singer said again “just one song, come on" 

Louis pushed him softly “ go, I want to hear you"

Paul said from a distance “come on, for me" 

Harry was so shy that his cheeks turned red, the crowd was calling his name, he looked at Louis who was Cheering for him too. Finally he gave up and he walked to the stage. The lead singer gave him his guitar and Harry said something in his ear. The man smiled and patted his shoulder , Harry took the guitar and fixed it around his nick and looked at Louis. Louis was clapping for him he had no idea he could sing, or play guitar. Although Harry told him before but he thought he was lying.  
He started playing and Louis knew the tune already 

“Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes  
But it's the only thing that I know  
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes  
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph  
We made these memories for ourselves  
Where our eyes are never closing  
Hearts are never broken  
And time's forever frozen still

So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans  
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet  
You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home  
And if you hurt me  
That's okay baby, only words bleed  
Inside these pages you just hold me  
And I won't ever let you go  
Wait for me to come home

Love can heal, loving can mend your soul  
And it's the only thing that I know, know  
I swear it will get easier,

Remember that with every piece…”

When Harry finished , all the crowd clapped hands, even Louis who didn’t realize he was crying and he had no idea why.  
Harry left the stage and he headed to Paul, he hugged him and then he walked to Louis, he hugged him too  
“That was incredible baby" Louis said 

Harry shrugged smiling, Louis added “I didn’t know you can sing"

Again Harry shrugged “ it’s not like I can" 

“ oh, shut up. You are amazing, you gave me chills”

Harry was looking at his eyes “ I love you lou. This song is like meant for you" 

Louis smiled and he kissed him on the lips, then he whispered “ I love you more"

******  
They lied on the bed, heaving, both staring at the ceiling, they just had an amazing sex. Both were naked, red and sweaty.  
Louis giggled “ perfect"

Harry tried to have a deep breath “ you could have killed me" 

“ I am glad I didn’t “ 

Harry smiled “ let’s do it again"

Louis smiled too “I don’t know about you but I can’t move my leg", 

Harry giggled, then he put his head on Louis’s chest  
“ I love weddings" 

Louis stroked his hair “ yeah, I saw you. You were so happy"  
Harry shrugged “ I love Paul, he helped me a lot.” Then he bit his lower lip “ I did it in his place" 

And again, did what?

“ I.. cut my wrists at his bathroom” Louis gasped . Harry embraced him to calm him , he added “He went to drive the kids to their grandma for two days so i was all alone. He tried to call me , I guess he was already worried when I didn’t pick up he called Zayn.. Zayn found me .. he said I wasn’t breathing and it is still a miracle I am alive with my condition “

Louis kissed his hair, he was already in tears 

“ I don’t want you sad, I am just telling you because I don’t want to hide anything.. no secrets between us"

Then he raised his head and looked at Louis, he wiped his tears and Louis sighed “ you can’t just drive me from this to that Harry, my emotions will get confused” 

Harry smiled sadly, Louis sighed “ well, I am glad you are telling me this. But I want you to stop think of your past. I want you to start planning for the future. You were stuck in your past for too long and I guess it is the time to move on, right?”

Harry nodded “ right" 

Louis kissed his cheek and Harry said “I love you"

****** 

Next day was a different story. When Louis picked Harry he was totally weird, he entered the car without a single word  
“ are you okay? “ Louis asked 

Harry nodded without raising his head “ just tired" 

Louis nodded , he started driving “ are you cold?”

Harry shook his head , Louis looked at him and he didn’t talk.  
They reached home and Harry was no different, he didn’t talk he barely ate. And while Louis was washing the dishes he heard the dogs parking . He called Harry but he didn’t answer. He left the kitchen and at the door he saw Harry wearing his shoes while the dogs were parking around him like they were feeling he wasn’t okay 

“where to?” 

Harry looked at him “ I need a walk" 

“ a walk! Now?”

Harry dressed his coat, louis walked to him “ are you sure you are okay?” 

Harry nodded and before Louis could touch him he opened the door “ don’t wait for me" and he stormed outside and closed the door behind him.

Louis was confused, he looked at the dogd and sighed “ now what?” 

He waited for Harry, Harry was late, he called him but Harry cancelled and sent a text saying he would be late. Louis was getting furious and worried at the same time.

He was on his bed , lights closed he was trying to get some sleep, he couldn’t. He felt Harry opening the door and he heard him shushing the dogs that started shuffling. He then felt him lying in the bed .Louis pretended sleeping and then he felt Harry’s hand wrapping him, he spooned him and buried his face in his hair. Louis knew he was crying but he didn’t want to disturb , actually he didn’t know what to say because he knew Harry wasn’t going to talk, he just took Harry’s hand and kissed it, he patted his hand as a gesture to tell him he was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it goes, the drama and angst is back , wait for it. But i promise this work has a happy ending


	25. Chapter 25

Louis felt cold before opening his eyes, he sighed because he knew Harry didn’t sleep well, Harry might not sleep at all last night. He left his bed and walked outside the room to the kitchen. Harry was there drinking some coffee. Louis smiled and kissed his cheek “ morning, baby"

Harry smiled back “morning, Lou" 

Louis looked around him, Harry didn’t make breakfast, so he poured himself some coffee too and sat in front of Harry “ are you okay?” 

Harry nodded and looked down at his cup. Louis took a sip then asked “ are you sure? I feel there is something wrong" 

" it’s okay, I am fine"

It had been a week since Harry took the night walk, a week since Harry became behaving weirdly, Louis tried to figure out what was the wrong, he asked him several times but the answer was always the same. 

" Sam says Hi" Harry said 

Louis smiled “ how is he?”

"Good, he says he might come and visit next week"

"That’s good Harry"

But Harry only nodded his head and didn’t talk, Louis then said “ we will meet Niall and Zayn tonight, remember?” 

Harry looked at him and frowned Louis sighed “ I know you will forget, we talked about it three days ago, we will meet Niall’s girlfriend “

Harry remembered nodding his head, then he rubbed his face “ i have work"

Louis raised a brow “ it is weekend !“

Harry nodded “ I gotta cover for Ryan..” 

"But Harry-"

"I will be there, maybe little late but I will I promise not to, I will be there “ 

Louis shook his head in frustration” you need your rest, why it has to be you?” 

Harry closed his eyes he wasn’t ready for any argument just like the whole last week, Louis barely could talk to him “ because he covered for me a lot, I owe him" 

"Harry-"

"God Louis. I said I will be there" then he stood up 

" it is not about the fucking- where are you going?”

Harry put his cup in the sink “ i will get ready, I need a bath" 

He was walking outside the kitchen when Louis said “ you didn’t sleep last night"

" I will sleep later"

" you haven’t been sleeping over a week" Louis snapped 

Harry stopped and looked at him “ i am okay" 

" God, Harry you are not okay, you are hiding something “

Harry looked down “ I am not”

But louis had enough, he walked closer and stopped right in front of him “ look at me in the eye Harry, look at me and tell me you aren’t hiding anything “

But Harry didn’t , he didn’t look at , he just took a step backwards and then turned his back and said “ I have to go” 

He walked outside the kitchen, Louis closed his eyes , he wanted to scream, he wanted to run after Harry and lock him inside the room and interrogate him. He wanted to know he was okay, his mind was okay, he wanted to know that he would be okay. But of course Harry wasn’t making it easy.

******  
Louis was on the phone with Zayn “I don’t know, he is not here yet" 

Zayn sighed “ I don’t know man, I mean he is not calling or answer me calls, but he keeps texting.. so I thought maybe he is busy"

Louis huffed “ doing what?does he has a secretive job i don’t know about?I mean why all this!”

"Maybe just ask him" 

Louis snapped “ are you thick? Of course I did, I did everything I can, I even went to his work but everything seemed normal" 

“ I don’t know Tommo. Maybe are overreacting “ 

Louis his nose bridge “ Zayn-"

"I will talk to him tonight “

Louis snorted “ that if he shows up" 

"Means?” 

Louis looked again at the clock on the wall “ he has work today, said he is covering for someone .. but he promised he will be there.. I don’t know" 

" if he comes i will talk to him, now go and get ready we don’t want Niall lose his mind on us" 

Louis smiled “ okay, see you later” 

Louis was buttoning his shirt when he heard the front door opened, he looked at the clock again and Harry was of course late, but he was there and that what mattered. Louis couldn’t deny that he git released seeing him entering the room  
" sorry I am late" first word he said 

Louis was still mad so he took his watch and said “ you have ten minutes, better hurry" 

Harry ran to the bathroom .

It took him fifteen minutes, Louis was waiting in the car and Harry jumped in heaving, holding his watch, his wallet, his phone and his shoelace was untied. He put his jacket at the backseat and Louis started driving.

Harry tied his hair and he put on his watch. He then tied his shoes then he rest his back to have a deep breath.

Louis struggled not to look at him, but when he felt Harry’s eyes were on him he looked back “ what?” 

Harry shook his head and looked at the window “ what’s her name?” 

Louis frowned and looked in front “sorry?”

"Niall’s girlfriend?” 

"Oh, ashe"

"Zayn and Gigi are coming?"

Louis nodded " they are on their way, yes"

Harry nodded “where are we heading?” 

Louis shrugged “ he sent me the location.. some restaurant i guess" 

Then they didn’t talk again till they reached their destination. 

Harry tried to act normal, he talked and laughed with the lads to the point Louis almost believed he was overreacting earlier. Ashe was amazing too, she was funny and wise she was the perfect match for Niall, niall was looking at her proudly when she was talking, Gigi looked beautiful that night, she was without the baby for the first time, she was nervous and she kept calling her sister to check on the baby, Zayn tried to calm her down and eventually when her sister told her that the baby slept she relaxed. 

Louis was watching Harry from time to time, Harry was leaning on him, their legs were touching and Harry was playing with Louis’s finger when Louis was talking.

Harry was okay till he received that text.

Louis saw it happening, Niall was telling a story and everyone was listening, Harry’s phone buzzed in his pocket, Louis felt it because they were sitting too close. Harry took his phone and once he looked at it he frowned and then he put it back. And his mood shifted. He adjust his body on the chair leaving Louis missing the warm. Then he looked at his plate and didn’t raise his head up again. He was thinking. 

" Harry.. what do you think?” Zayn asked , of course Harry didn’t respond, didn’t even listen so Louis touched his shoulder and he flinched for a second, he looked at Louis and Louis tried not to draw attention to them “ Zayn is asking you a question babe" 

Harry’s eyes relaxed again and he looked at Zayn smiling “ sorry sorry I wasn’t listening .. what did you say?”

Zayn shared a look with Louis and Gigi said “he was telling you that maybe one day you could invite us to your restaurant which should be like this one"

Harry smiled nervously “that would be a dream come true" 

Niall waved his had “dream big brother “ 

Harry only smiled and looked down again .

Ashe then said “ I really have to go" she stood up so did Niall , he looked at the boys “ I will drive her” 

Gigi looked at Zayn “ I will go to the bathroom and then we can go" 

Zayn then looked at Harry “ so, where have you been?” 

Harry looked at him “here", 

" you are not calling, you are not answering your phone... even your boyfriend barley is talking to you" 

Harry rubbed his face “ the night was doing okay, why do you have to ruin it?” 

" We are not ruining it, we are trying to figure out what is the wrong with you” 

"Nothing is wrong with me"he looked at Louis who was watching silently “ i told you I am fine"

Louis didn’t talk Zayn said “Harry, you are not fine.” 

"What was that text about?” Louis finally asked 

Harry looked at Louis, Louis continued “, the text you received an hour ago?” 

Harry shook his head “, there is no text"

Louis sighed annoyed “ God, I saw the text , i know there is something about it so what?” 

Harry was getting angry “, it was from Sam, he says he can’t come, I mean I know he won’t..” 

"You are lying"

Louis stated

Harry sighed "I am not Louis, why can’t you accept that, why can’t you accept that I am okay" 

There was a moment of silent then Zayn said “we are just worried"

"Well stop, I know it is hard and I get it.. but maybe you should stop, I am fine..I am just busy"

Louis lost it “doing what? You are just a waiter" 

Harry looked at him with a raised brow “ well i am sorry my job is not that important like yours but it is still my job"

Louis snapped cause he didn’t meant it this way, he knew what Harry was doing , he was turning tables on him “, what does this suppose to mean?" 

Harry stood up “ Nothing Louis, it means nothing “

Zayn sighed “ Harry we are talking here..sit back" 

" I am done talking Zayn, I am going to the loo" 

And he walked away, Louis pinched his nose bridge “see what I'm dealing with?”

Zayn sighed “ I don’t know Louis, I mean he looks okay"

Louis snapped “he is not okay, he is not. He is not sleeping again, he is not eating again, we are just going back to zero point and I am fucking scared” then he stoop up when he saw Gigi walking towards them "I am gonna drink something.. bye Zayn" and then he hugged Gigi and walked towards the bar.

"Straight vodka please” Louis told the bartender.

He finally surrendered, he wanted something strong to clear his mind a bit. His head was strong and just one shot wasn’t going to lighten his head.

" well, never expect to see you again" a voice said from behind.  
Louis wasn’t ready for this man, he closed his head and didn’t turn his back “you didn’t “ 

Then Nick stood beside Louis “ how are you doing Louis?”

He didn’t answer, the bartender put his drink in front of him.  
Nick said “wow.. now you drink vodka, did he teach you that?” 

Louis sighed “ what do you want Nick?”

Nick smirked “ just checking on you"

"I am fine. Now you can go" 

Nick shook his head “ you don’t have to be rude. I am just trying to have a civil conversation with you", 

Louis was going to talk, but he saw Harry standing away watching them awkwardly , he looked back at Nick “ I don’t have time for this “ 

"Louis..come on. Five minutes won't harm"

"I don’t understand what do you want?” 

" have you think about it?”

" About what?” 

Nick looked at him and moved closer “ us?” 

Louis looked again at Harry, he was still there not moving, still staring at them.

Louis finally put his drink on the table “ I am leaving “ 

Then he walked towards Harry , Louis was watching Harry but Harry was staring at Nick. Louis reached Harry and took his arm and pulled him behind.

The whole ride Harry didn’t utter a single word. He was staring out of the window, Louis noticed that his hands were shaking, he was coughing and he heard some wheezing .

Louis sighed and said squeezing the steering wheel “ do you have your inhaler?” 

Harry shook his head, he then pressed his fingers at the middle of his chest, louis tried to stay calm “ you are okay?” 

Harry took a deep breath and said “ I am okay" 

Louis parked his car and together they walked to the flat. 

Harry was in the bathroom, Louis saw him taking few puffs of his inhaler but he didn’t give any comment, he was upset, and angry at Harry, he was angry at Nick , and he didn’t know why Harry didn’t say a word about Nikc

When Harry finally sat on bed , Louis was sitting on the couch “ what are you doing?” 

Harry sighed “ sleeping? I am too exhausted”

Louis nodded , but no he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.  
" aren’t you asking me?”, 

Harry was going to lie but he looked at Louis “ about what?” 

" Nick?”

Harry nodded “ I don’t care about Nick"

"Well you should, cause he is asking to come back to me, and that isn’t his first" 

Harry looked at Louis after a moment of silence “ will you?” he asked with a cracked voice 

Louis sighed , okay he wanted to make Harry jealous but now he could see panic rising in his eyes “ of course not" 

Harry only nodded "okay, I trust you" 

Louis really didn’t want to ask but he couldn’t control his mouth “ why are you hiding from me?” 

Harry closed his eyes “ I don’t wanna fight Louis, my chest is hurting like hell and I can barely breath, so please I already told you I am not hiding, I hide nothing and you choose not to belive me. So we can talk tomorrow “ he lied on bed and he covered himself, he looked at the ceiling .

Louis didn’t say any other word , he entered the bathroom to brush his teeth, but he noticed that the medicine cabinet was slightly opened, he opened it and he saw the sleeping pills container was not in its place ,fuck Harry returned to his sleeping pills, he closed the cabinet again and he put his brush in its place, he turned the light off and he walked to the bed and he lied beside Harry he turned off the light 

" I know you are worried" Harry said “but I can take care of myself “ 

Louis didn’t talk , his mind was racing, he returned to the sleeping pills again. Again.

Then Harry gave louis his back , Louis looked at him and his eyes stung, that was the first time Harry didn’t cuddle Louis on bed. That was the first time Harry didn’t ask for Louis touch, that was the first time Louis didn’t bury his face in Harry’s hair.


	26. Chapter 26

Louis was the one who didn’t sleep that night, he watched Harry sleeping deeply beside him, his breathing was laboured and he seemed struggling to take deep breathes. When the morning came Louis left the bed and walked to the kitchen, he was so worried about Harry, he didn’t know what to do with him, he knew Harry was hiding something but Harry was right he was an adult and he knew how to handle himself. 

Louis made Harry breakfast he wasn’t eating good recently and he was going to be tired to make anything. 

When Harry didn’t wake up Louis decided to wake him up. He entered the room and Harry was still sleeping. Louis sat beside him and shook him softly “ Hazza.. wake up" 

Harry slowly moved, Louis smiled “ wake up, don’t you have work today?” 

Harry opened his eyes and smiled “morning “

" Morning, come on, you will be late “ 

Harry adjusted himself in bed and looked at his phone “ i am not going" 

Louis raised a brow “really?” 

Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes “ yeah, Paul gave me a day off, I wasn’t feeling okay yesterday “ 

Louis looked down “ damn it Hazza" 

Harry looked at him “ I was just exhausted i promise, nothing major. You know Paul.. he is just overreacting like you are" he giggled saying the last words

Louis looked back at him “ well , we are just trying to take care of you" 

Harry nodded “ I know" 

Louis then sighed and said “ I made you a big breakfast so you gotta share me cause I am not gonna eat it all myself"

Harry was looking at him with big eyes “ you cooked!” 

Louis rolled his eyes “ It is just breakfast, now come on" 

He was going to stand but Harry grasped his band and pulled him to sit again, Louis obliged and looked at him , Harry was looking back at him “ thank you Louis" 

“itis not a big deal curly, you make me breakfast daily" 

"I don’t mean that, I mean for everything “ 

Harry was looking at Louis with honest and caring eyes, Louis missed that look, he missed how caring he was, he Always cared for him, he missed how Harry was looking at him with love 

Harry added “ I know recently I wasn’t good to you, but please I love you and I need you to stay" 

Louis melted for Harry’s words “ of course I will stay, I will always stay Harry. I am not leaving unless you want me to leave" 

Harry’s eyes filled with tears “ i will never do that, I will always need you" 

Louis smiled and wiped Harry’s tears , Harry said “do you still love me?” 

Louis frowned “ of course I do, what kind of question is that?” 

Harry shrugged and looked down “ I mean.. you don’t think to return to Nick" 

"You must be joking now. Are you serious?” 

Harry didn’t talk, didn’t even look at him.

Louis took Harry’s hand and said “ look at me baby” and Harry did, Louis smiled “ Nick and I are old story. We are over and nothing will bring us back”

" And me?” 

" what about you?”

Harry said still looking at him “ promise me you won’t leave me"

" I do baby" 

" I love you, remember that, I love you very much" his eyes again was filled with tears 

Louis’s heart wrenched , he couldn’t read Harry, he couldn’t understand the insecurity he was feeling towards Louis “ I love you Harry, I love you very much too, and I will always stay by your side, I will always be here for you, even if we aren’t together anymore.. even if anything pulled us apart i will be here for you"

Harry then nodded but tears cascaded his face, he hugged Louis and he cried on his shoulder, Louis wrapped his hand around him and said “ stop crying now, let’s go and eat, the food will be cold and I am not promising another breakfast" 

Harry pulled away and smiled , he nodded his head .  
***** 

Harry poured Louis some coffee while Louis was on the phone , he was annoyed and clearly wanted to end this call “ fine, fine.. I can do it, but not today...” then he took the coffee from Harry with a smile and then said “ because i have loads of work and I really want to focus on... I know okay I know we are running out of time but that’s really not my problem “ he put the coffee down, and he pinched his nose bridge “ can we talk we talk about it when I come, I am really trying to have my breakfast now.. yes thank you. See you" he then tossed the phone on the table.

Harry sat in front of him and said softly “ sorry" 

Louis looked at him and sighed “ it’s not just that" 

Harry was going to have a bite but he stopped midway and asked “ what?” 

" I have to travel for a week" 

" a week?” 

Louis nodded “ we are shooting an ad near Clevedon so we are staying for a week “ 

Harry put the fork down and Louis hated that he mentioned it now , Louis sighed “ it will pass really fast, you won’t even feel it"

Harry nodded “when will you go?”

Louis was still watching Harry “ three days from now, I only was informed last night I was going to tell you but you weren’t in a good mood" 

Harry nodded 

"Is it okay?Will you be okay?” Louis asked 

Harry nodded “yeah, yeah.. I will be okay, don’t worry “ 

Louis nodded , he then put his hand on Harry and pressed softly “ I can cancel, they can find someone else or do whatever” 

"No .. no.. I am going to be okay, I promise. It just er... we haven’t been apart since..” 

Louis smiled “ will you miss me?” 

Harry giggled “ of course I will” then he took a deep breath “ but it is okay, I will meet the boys and try to waste the time", 

Louis nodded “yes, do that, now please eat something “ 

Harry nodded but he really couldn’t. 

When they finished Harry stood up and collected the dishes and put them in the sink, Louis was watching him “ are you staying at home?”

Harry shook his head “ no, I have to go and buy groceries, we are out of a lot of things" 

" good, do you want me to give you the ride?” 

" I don’t want to keep you waiting” 

Harry’s phone went off, it was resting on the table in front of Louis, so Louis could see the caller , it was unknown number.  
Harry picked it up, but he didn’t answer and put the phone back in his pocket 

"Aren’t you answering that?” 

Harry shrugged “ I don’t know the number" 

"It could be something important “

" Then they can call me later" he gave him his back and Louis felt he was avoiding him

Louis nodded and stood up, he was leaving the kitchen when he heard Harry receiving a text. Louis remembered his own phone was on the kitchen table so when he re-entered the kitchen again, Harry was staring at his phone with big eyes, once he saw Louis he put his phone back in his pocket, and again louis was filled with doubts.

*****  
When Louis returned home later that night he didn’t find Harry at home. He looked for him but Harry wasn’t found. He picked his phone and tried to call him but Harry didn’t pick up.

Louis tried to ignore and he entered his bathroom for a shower.  
Two hours later finally Harry returned home. Louis was pacing the living room, he called Harry million times and he was losing his mind, so when he heard the door being opened he stormed towards it and once he saw Harry he yelled “ where the hell have you been?” 

Harry closed the door and looked at him “ i was having a walk” 

And there Louis lost it “ having a walk? And couldn’t you answer your phone?” 

Harry sighed and put it out of his pocket “sorry, it was silent” 

" What the fuck Harry? You could have called me, you know I was coming home you know I would be worried about you" 

Harry took off his jacket, he hanged it on the hanger and looked at Louis “ I am sorry" 

Louis shook his head in frustration “ no" , he then yelled “you don’t get to do this, you don’t get to act this weird and expect me to keep shut, I won’t do this, I can’t do this and I was so patient with you Harry, you kept lying and hiding things from me but I respect you and respect your privacy but this... this needs to be over. We are boyfriends I get to know everything about you, I should know everything..you can’t just keep pushing me away all the time and when you feel like it you just bring me back. Don’t make it more difficult because it’s already exhausting.” 

Harry was listening to every words Louis said, he slowly swallowed and then he nodded his head.

Louis finally looked at him “I am gonna ask you one more time Harry, where have you been?” 

Harry only answered with one word “ walking"

Louis was watching him, he stared for a second then he said “you know what! Fine. I had enough" and he stormed to his room and slammed the door behind him.

Once Louis sat on the bed the door was opened and Harry entered , Louis closed his eyes “ Harry, please..leave me alone. I Don’t wanna talk right now “ Harry walked and sat in front of him, he then opened his fist and he showed it to Louis “I was buying you this"

It was a silver necklace of two parts, with L&H crafted on it “ it’s handmade, I ordered it two weeks ago and it took forever to be done” 

Louis took it and looked at it “it is beautiful “

Harry shrugged “I wanted something to connect us together or something.. i will take the L and you take the H. I know it super stupid but-" 

"I love it" 

Harry smiled “i was going to give it to you next week, I was planning a second date" 

Louis looked at him “ second date?”

"Yes, made reservation and everything “ 

Louis smiled sincerely “ you did?where?” 

" Well, I saw that place.. it’s nothing like Sizler but I am sure you are gonna like it"

" Harry that’s great, when?”

Harry smiled shyly because he already could predict Louis’s reaction “next Saturday” 

Louis’s smile dropped “ fuck Harry, I won’t be there"

"I know it’s okay"

Louis shook his head “no it is not okay, I ruined our first date and now I am ruining the second one"

Harry shrugged “ it’s not ruined, we still have life. I can do another reservation.. I can pick something else later ,it is really okay"

Louis looked again at the two necklaces in his hand “ it was going be amazing"

Harry smiled and nodded “ it was yeah" 

" how can I make it for you?”

" Don’t.. please. It is me trying to make it up for you, so please Don’t blame yourself or anything. I just I don’t know i saw the necklaces and I thought about you, I was going daily to make sure it was working perfectly.. I hope you like it"

" I loved it baby, of course I do"then he hanged the one with L around Harry’s neck and the other around his neck .

Harry looked at Louis’s neck and smiled “we will be connected this way” then he looked at his “I will always wear it, it will always remind me of you, it will remind me that I once was happy"

Louis smiled but he didn’t know why his eyes stung, he kissed Harry’s on his lips “ you will always be happy, as long as I am alive I will do whatever to make you happy"

Harry nodded watching Louis’s lips while talking, he smiled widely and then he kissed him again.

******  
Next morning , first thing louis did was buying the two rings he had been checking for the last month, he put the box in his pocket and he for the first time was ready for this commitment.  
He called Harry once he was in his car 

"Lou?” Harry asked worried “ are you okay?”

Louis smiled “I missed you" 

Harry giggled “ you just dropped me an hour ago"

"Still, I miss my boyfriend “ 

Harry laughed “okay, I miss you too. Now what is it?” 

Louis sighed “ okay, okay. I am gonna be late tonight okay?when will you return home?” 

" I don’t know .. Paul says he needs me after my shift so I think I will be late too"

" really, don’t exhaust yourself then"

"You too" 

" see you later, love you"

"Love you too"  
*******  
Louis revised everything in his mind over and over . Everything was perfect, everyone was there waiting for his signal.  
He saw Harry dressing the apron coming toward him, Harry had no idea who he was going to serve. He stood in front of the table and asked ready to write the order “ good afternoon , sir how can I help you" 

"Marry me" Louis said 

Harry gasped and looked at Louis “ lou.. what are you doing here?”

Louis shrugged “ what do you think i am doing, I am proposing"  
Harry didn’t know how to react, to laugh or to look serious, he looked around him and he found Paul and all his mates were standing watching them, then he saw Niall and Zayn also there and Niall was recording, while Zayn was holding a phone where it showed all Louis’ family looking at the camera. Harry snapped his head back at Louis and he found him on his knees, an opened box in his hand, and a smile on his face 

" marry me" 

"Lou..” 

" I know i promised no pressure. But I want something to connect us too. I want this" 

Harry was staring at the rings, he out his hand on his chest  
" God Haz what? Are you okay?” 

Harry then looked at Louis and nodded “ yes" 

Louis was confused “ yes you are okay or yes-" 

" I will marry you" the crowd cheered and clapped their hands , some screamed and some yelled Harry’s name , even the customers were clapping for them 

Louis sighed “ God curly I thought you will turn me down" 

Louis then put out the ring and put it in Harry’s finger, Harry was crying and he hugged Louis so tight, Louis wrapped his hand around harry 

"Are you sure?” 

Louis whispered “ more than sure.” He pulled away and looked at him and cupped his face and said" you complete me" he kissed him on the lips, and it felt different . They both were crying, they both were happy and their heart was going crazy. They both didn’t want to let go

Then louis looked at the crowd and Zayn and said “ he said yes mom" 

Harry saw all the family member through the phone screaming their names. Then Niall ran and hugged Harry, then hugged Louis too , he kissed Harry’s head and whispered “ you deserve all the happiness “ 

Then Zayn who was hugging Louis looked at Harry, he hugged him too 

" I am happy for you" 

Harry smiled “ are you sure about that?”

Zayn sighed “ Hay.. you never let me explain... of course I am happy, and i know you will be there for him just like he is there for you" 

Harry hugged again and said “thanks Zayn" 

Paul also hugged Harry and then all his mates, then Harry heard music and singing, the band that sang in Paul wedding started singing too and congratulated the couple. 

The rest of the night was more than amazing, Harry felt his heart was filling with happiness that he might explode. He didn’t care about the sharp pain that was shooting every once and a while, he was happy and nothing was changing this.

Louis and Harry were dancing, Harry was resting his head on Louis’ shoulder “ you are the best thing that ever happened to me"

Louis tightened his grip “ you are" 

Harry giggled “ can’t believe you did all of this behind my back" 

Louis shrugged “ I am full of surprises, actually I was thinking about it for quit long but I didn’t want to add pressure “ 

Harry smiled closing his eyes “ perfect timing” 

Louis also smiled “ Sam was going to come, but I told him he could come at the wedding" 

Harry looked at him surprised “ wedding?” 

Louis was confused “ usually people who are engaged get married .. having wedding?”

Harry looked lost in his thoughts, he nodded his head smiling “ yes, i like that" 

Louis smiled “ so we will have our wedding, right?”

Harry again nodded “ I guess we will" 

Louis then hugged Harry again “ I can’t wait"

Then Harry said “ I love you" 

Louis nodded his head “ I love you too Harry" 

Harry smiled ignoring again the shooting pain across his chest

0


	27. Chapter 27

Harry suddenly opened his eyes , he was sleeping on the bed beside Louis and he couldn’t breath.

He looked at his finger gasping for air and he then clutched his chest , he shouldn’t have said yes, he should have said no, what he was doing? How could he do this for Liam. 

He couldn’t breath 

They had sex, it was great, Harry was so happy and everything was normal but suddenly he couldn’t breath.

Harry left his bed head spinning and he was about to fall, he was still gasping for air and now he couldn’t stand still, but he had to leave the room, he just had to leave. He was panicking 

He opened the drawer and took his inhaler, he knew it was his heart not his lungs but he just wanted to breath  
He stormed outside the room and collapsed on the couch in the living room, opened the mouth piece if the inhaler and took three puffs. He closed his eyes but he was still panicking, how could he say yes? Why did he do that?

He opened his eyes then he picked his phone and he stood up, the pain in his chest was unbearable but he had to leave. So he did.

He left the whole place.  
***** 

Harry’s chest pain was gradually Subsiding, he was able to breath again once he was outside, he didn’t know he was crying, he looked again at his hands and they were shaking.  
He then picked his phone and dialled someone “ I need you" 

*****  
Harry was waiting in front of a door, trying his best to calm down, when Zayn opened the door he was frantic, Harry hugged him and Zayn closed the door behind him. Instantly he took Harry and they sat in the living room.

"Please, tell me you are okay, what happened? Did you fight? Did he hurt you? What?” Zayn was sitting close to Harry extremely worried 

Harry shook his head , he then tried to take a deep breath but it felt like a stab in his chest . He pressed his fingers at the middle of his chest and said “I can’t do that" 

Zayn struggled to move his eyes from Harry’s chest to his face “ do what?” 

" Be with him, I can’t..fuck I am not ready, I can’t do this..you were right Zayn I will hurt him" 

“Hay, hay... calm down okay please you are scaring me, what with your chest?” 

Harry shook his head he didn’t listen to a word Zayn said “ and now we are engaged? I mean.. he will leave me too, of course he will , when he knows he will leave me too. Everyone leaves.. Liam did and he will, and it will hurt even more..” he looked at Zayn “ he said he wants us to marry.. I can’t marry him.. I.. what did I do?”

Harry was panicking, Zayn took his hands and said “ look at me, look at me Harry Styles" he yelled his name 

Harry slowly looked at him, Zayn said “breath.. in and out" 

Harry was going to talk but Zayn squeezed his hands “ breath..” 

Harry nodded and started to breath struggling to ignore the pain. The pain was a lot and he never felt it before, he thought it was because he was panicking and Zayn was right, he needed to breath. He needed to calm down.

He closed his eyes and started to take deep in breathes. Few minutes later he was slightly getting better.

Finally zayn said “ feeling better?”

Harry opened his eyes , he saw Zayn beside him looking at him softly, and Gigi was in front of him on the table sharing the same look.

Harry shook his head “ i am sorry, I guess I was panicking “

Gigi smiled and patted his knees “ you don’t have to be sorry. I will make you something to drink" 

Then she excused after squeezing her husband shoulder, Zayn looked at Harry “ are you sure you are okay? We could go to the hospital if you want" 

"No, no hospitals.. I am fine" 

Zayn nodded “ okay. Do you wanna talk about it now?” 

Harry looked down and shrugged “ I don’t know, I don’t know what I am doing “

Zayn smiled “ you are doing alright, you were just panicking and it’s totally understandable. You need to calm down and don’t worry about it, you are not doing anything wrong, Louis is a great man and being with him is the right thing for you” 

Harry didn’t raise his head, Zayn said “ I know what’s in your mind, I know you think you don’t deserve him, but you do.. he knows you , he knows all your secrets and he still chose you, so calm down .. he loves you and I am sure you do the same. Right?” 

Harry only nodded his head, Zayn then sighed “ I know you were going to freak out , I thought it would happen when he proposed, I actually was scared that you might say no or run away, I was surprised but it was when I knew that you love him too, and you care for him and you are ready, you are ready Harry”

Harry finally breathed deeply “ I don’t wanna hurt him”

"Then don't" 

Harry didn’t say he already had, he didn’t say it was too late he just nodded his head and didn’t talk.

Gigi came holding her baby and Harry’s cup. Harry saw the baby and he almost gasped, gigi gave the baby to Zayn and Harry was watching her, she looked too beautiful, a mix between Gigi and Zayn, but more from Gigi.

Zayn was rocking her when he noticed Harry’s eyes he asked “ would you like to carry her?”

Harry looked between him and Gigi, gigi smiled assuring, he then looked at Zayn and he gave him the baby “ okay baby girl, meet uncle Harry i told you about"

Harry carried the baby and suddenly everything changed, he stopped feeling anything , he was looking at the baby and the baby was looking back at him , then she closed her eyes and smiled 

Gigi giggled “ she already loves you she smiled for you Harry"

Harry nodded and smiled wide , he then said with a suffocated voice “ she is too beautiful “ 

Zayn nodded “ yes, she is"

Harry then brought her closer to him, he was crying and for the first time he felt something different, he felt hope. He wanted to promise this little girl that he would be better person , he would protect her and live for her, yes live for her. And for Louis. He wanted to have this with Louis. He loved to form a family with him and have babies. Maybe one day.

*******  
Louis was on the phone pacing the room “what do you mean I rushed things out? We have been together for five months  
Niall..”then he huffed “ well, I didn’t think about it, i just did it... I didn’t tell you because I know you would have stopped me"the he groaned and looked at the clock again “I just want to know where he is , I am too fucking scared.. what if he hurt himself?”  
Then he nodded and took a deep breath “ i called Zayn  
yes..okay, okay.. I will wait" 

He ended the call and threw the phone on the couch, then the door was opened. Harry entered holding donuts and coffee. He looked at Louis and he was better, calmed and more relaxed  
"Hay baby" 

Louis was watching him, he couldn’t talk, he wasn’t able to talk , he heard his heartbeat in his ears 

Harry smiled “are you okay?” he put the donuts and the coffee on the table and walked to him “ I am sorry, I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t make breakfast" 

" Harry it has been three hours, I was calling you” 

" you did? Shit.. “ he put his hand his pocket and he fished his phone “ oh I am sorry" 

Louis sighed and looked down , Harry looked okay but Louis felt there was something wrong.

" let’s have breakfast” 

Louis obliged, he sat on the table and Harry opened the box, his hands were trembling badly and Harry sighed but smiled “ I feel tired, I blame the sex" 

"HARRY-" 

Harry giggled “ it was great by the way"

"Where have you been?” 

Harry sighed “ buying these” 

" for three hours “ 

Harry shrugged “ I was having a walk first , I lost track of the time, I am so sorry" 

Louis was watching him, again he felt Harry wasn’t okay “ are you sure you are okay?” 

Harry smiled “ of course, I am fine.” Then he took a bite of the donut and he pushed the box towards Louis.

Louis was going to take one when suddenly Harry squeezed his shirt , Louis frowned “ what?” 

Harry couldn’t talk for a second , then he looked at him “ I guess.. I am nervous"

Louis was more worried “ shall we go to the hospital?”

Harry shook his head instantly although he knew he would regret it later “ i am fine. Let’s not worry okay" 

Louis sighed “ i am worried Harry, I know you are too. Tell me what’s going on?” 

Harry chewed his inner cheek then he said “ alright. I freaked out. I am sorry" 

"HAZZA-" 

Harry shrugged “ I am sorry, I.. panicked I guess. I wake up in the middle of the night unable to breath and questioning everything happened. I needed some fresh air, I am sorry, I am just so sorry" 

Louis left his seat and walked to Harry “ don’t.. Don’t.. I understand. I mean it came suddenly, I burst the question and cornered you there. But I... I love you okay, I wanted us to be more serious? I don’t know, I guess I wanted to make you feel more secured.. i am sorry I made you feel this way"

Harry was crying , he shook his head “no, you didn’t, you didn’t. I am sorry, I didn’t mean I don’t want to be with you cause I want, but I am... I am so confused lou.. I.. I don’t know what to do" 

Again his chest hurt and he felt the same pain from earlier.  
"Baby, stop crying... listen to me. We can pretend that last night didn’t happen"

Harry looked at him with big eyes, Louis finished “ till you feel ready, baby.. it is okay, i will wait"

"No" then Harry shook his head “no, no, last night happened, we are engaged i can do that, I can-" he stopped talking because the pain was too much

"HARRY.. what’s wrong?”

Harry took a deep breath , he looked at Louis “ please. Don’t say that again" 

Louis nodded “ I won’t. But baby, you Don’t seem okay, what do you feel?” 

Harry shook his head “ no, I am okay. I just.. I want some sleep"

Louis nodded and helped him to stand up, Louis frowned when he felt Harry was dizzy “ are you sure you are okay?” 

Harry nodded and Louis put him on bed, he covered him and sat beside him 

" you are scaring me Hazza"

Harry smiled “ no, don’t be ridiculous, I didn’t sleep and just had a panic attack” 

" panic attack?”

Harry shrugged “ I was at Zayn’s.. wasn’t alone" 

Louis cursed under his breath, because he called Zayn, he fucking called Zayn 

Harry must read him because he said “I told him not to tell you. I am sorry" 

Louis smiled “don’t be, I am glad you weren't alone" 

Then Louis sighed “I hate to leave you like this, but I have to go to work, I am leaving in two days and I have massive work to be finished"

Harry smiled “ I am okay, I promise. I will wait for you at dinner. I won’t eat without you”

" You have a night shift?” 

" I do" 

Louis groaned “ i hate night shifts"  
******  
It felt like a struggle for Louis to leave Harry that day, he was so worried and confused. They had to talk a lot, they had to listen to what in each other heart. Louis was ready for anything, he wasn’t scared he promised Harry he would always be there.  
At work was a different story, everyone saw him congratulated him, they looked happy for him and he certainly looked happy.  
Before Louis entered his small office he saw a shadow for someone inside through the glass window, he opened the door and once he saw the man sitting in front of his office he sighed  
"What do you want?” 

The man raised on his feet and looked at Louis “ good morning to you too" 

Louis walked to sit behind his desk “ well my morning was certainly better before seeing you Nick" 

"Auch" Nick dramatically put his hand on his heart “ that hurt" 

Louis looked at him “ good, now what do you want?” 

Nick sighed and sat too “ how are you?” 

"Nick-“

“ I am just checking on you, last time we met you weren’t okay" 

Louis snorted “ i was okay, and I am okay now. Thank you you can leave" 

Nick laughed “not so fast Lou..” Louis rubbed his face and groaned “God, I have loads of work..please “

Nick didn’t talk, when Louis looked at him he was looking at him shocked, at his hand specific “ what’s that in your hand?”

Louis raised a brow and didn’t talk 

"Please tell me you are not engaged to him, please “ nick looked at Louis’s eyes, Louis could hear his heart beats 

" I am Nick, I am engaged to him" 

Nick jumped on his feet and yelled “ to that whore?” 

LOUIS copied Nick “ if you call him that name again-“

"He is a whore, he is a fucking whore, how could you do this to yourself, how could you do this to your family"

"I do what I want to do, you don’t have a say" Louis yelled back  
" yes I do, what are you doing?why... what does this whore offer you?” 

Louis hit his desk with his fist furiously “ stop calling him that" 

That startled Nick, he froze in his place, then he looked Louis “ I can prove it"

Louis groaned and then he tried his best to contain his anger “ get out"

"He is cheating on you" 

" get out" he literally screamed , then the office door was opened and two security men entered , they looked between Nick and him and asked “ everything okay Mr Tomlinson?” 

Louis looked at the one who asked “ yes, he is just leaving" 

Nick was still staring at Louis, he then nodded “ i will go” 

He walked towards the door but before he left he said “ I will prove it" 

Louis slammed the door after Nick left the office, he was too angry that all his body was trembling, he collapsed on his chair but he couldn’t ignore the serious tone Nick talked.  
Then he shook his head, cause Harry would never cheat on him. Right?

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Do you think Hazza wa cheating? Do you think nick had proves ?


	28. Chapter 28

Baby, I am back" Louis said excited, he threw his bag beside the door . He heard foot steps coming from the kitchen then Harry showed up, he ran and hugged him so tight “God I missed you"  
Louis was hugging too “miss you more curly"

Then he pulled away “ I didn’t expect to miss you this way" 

Harry giggled “ how was the flight?” 

"It was okay I guess. I slept the whole trip" 

Harry took his hand and walked inside “ I will set the table, go and have your shower" 

Louis took a deep breath “i will skip my shower ,the smell is amazing I can’t wait"  
******  
"I want to hear everything “Louis said while eating 

Harry smiled “literally we were talking all night, you know everything I don’t have more to tell" 

Louis sighed “i want to see you talking, I missed that"

Harry rolled his eyes “it was just a week lou.”

"A week, seven fucking days.. hundreds of hours, millions of minutes-"

"Wow.. I didn’t know you screwed in maths” 

Louis giggled and then he ate a big fork “ Niall will lose his mind if he knew you cooked that" 

Harry giggled “ are you kidding, I saved him his share" 

Louis looked at him “ that’s my beautiful fiancé” 

Harry shrugged shyly 

Louis then took a deep breath, he was full but refused to stop “ so, tomorrow the weekend, any plans?”

Harry smiled “ why?” 

“I was thinking to take you to the cinema, then eat something, and come home and give love to you till the sun rise" he wiggled his brows and Harry laughed then he said “ I loved how you planned the day"

"But?” 

"but tomorrow is my mother memorial and I was thinking to visit her" 

"Oh-" Louis’s face melted “I am such a twat I didn’t know" 

Harry shook his head “yeah, you didn’t. I didn’t tell you" 

Louis smiled softly “ I am sorry”

"Lou, stop. I mean it" 

"Can I come?” 

Harry was shocked “ to mom?” 

Louis nodded “ I think it’s time to introduce me" 

Harry smiled “ I would love to, but you don’t have to, I am sure  
you are exhausted and it is two hours or maybe more driving “ 

Louis nodded “ I insist, if that’s okay with you"

Harry just nodded gratefully. He wanted Louis to come, and he wanted Louis to offer and Louis did. Harry was truly grateful to have him in his life.

******  
Louis was holding a big bouquet of flowers, they were standing in front of the grave stone. Where there was a freshly new bouquet lying there. When Harry saw the bouquet he didn’t comment, he only stared for seconds then said 

"Hello ,mom. It is Harry. I miss you so much" his voice cracked and he pressed his fingers in his eyes to stop the tears, Louis took his other hand and squeezed softly “ I am sorry, I haven’t been visiting recently, but good news is I am engaged. He is here. His name is Louis and he wants to say hi" 

Louis smiled and put the bouquet beside the other one and said “ hello Mrs twist. I am Louis Tomlinson your son's fiancé. “ he felt Harry smiling “I came here today to promise you, I will always love him and care for him” he felt Harry’s hand squeezing his this time “ I just want you to be comfortable and watch over us from where you are" then he looked at Harry and Harry was looking back at him.

Harry smiled “ I promise you too mom, I will always love him, and i will never hurt him" 

*****  
In the car Louis was driving according to Harry’s directions, they were going to have breakfast at a cafe Harry used to work in when he was younger.

When they entered the cafe, Harry stayed still for a second, Louis stopped beside him and he looked at him, Harry was remembering and he looked overwhelmed, Louis gave him his time but he could imagine what he was going through.

They sat at the table Harry chose, and then he looked around again, he wiped a fallen tear , Louis asked “ are you okay?” 

Harry looked at him and nodded immediately “yeah, yeah I am fine.. it just brings memories” 

Louis nodded understanding “how old were you ?” 

Harry sighed “ sixteen" 

Louis was going to say something to comfort him when he heard “Styles? Is that you?” 

She was a lady, maybe couple of years older than Harry, once he saw her he smiled bright and stood up, she gave him a tight hug and he did the same, he hugged her and she rubbed his hair softly, then she looked at him “oh my God, look at you.. you are so much taller" she giggled 

He was looking at her too “ you too look gorgeous “ 

She sighed and wiped her tears “oh god, I never thought I would see you again, I didn’t know you were-" she cut herself, but Louis knew what she meant, she thought he was dead  
Harry shrugged and smiled sadly, she then said “Mark will lose his mind when he sees you" 

Harry opened his mouth shocked “you still together?” 

She nodded “of course, we are married now, with a baby girl”

Harry embraced her again “where is he?” 

" He is coming now, tell me how are you doing? You didn’t show up ever?” 

Harry sighed and looked at Louis “this is Louis Tomlinson, my fiancé " 

She covered her mouth surprise, then she hugged Harry again and looked at Louis with eyes full of tears again “you are very welcome here” she looked at Harry again “ I am so happy for you" 

He nodded and looked at Louis “I got lucky i guess' 

Then she screamed “oh here he is" she waved her hands “Mark, Mark! Look who is here" 

Louis looked at Mark, tall handsome guy who somehow reminded him of Zayn , Mark opened his eyes big and froze in his place, he didn’t move so Harry did, Mark looked down and he was crying, he covered his eyes and he was crying, Harry hugged him and Mark wrapped his hands around him and cried on his shoulder 

" I thought you were dead, I thought you got killed and I couldn’t save you" 

Harry was rubbing his back softly , he looked at Louis who was watching them with tears too.

******  
"Thank you guys for the flowers on mom's grave" Harry said sitting beside Louis, in front of him were the couple ,Mark and Maily . 

"So that were you?” Mark asked “ i always wondered who was putting those flowers , I thought it was Sam but he wasn’t even here, and I am sure not your father.. I mean step father”

Harry slowly nodded “ it was me, yeah" 

"Then why didn’t you show yourself Harry” Maily said “ we were so worried ..I mean we really-" her husband stopped her “ we thought you were dead" 

And then there was silence 

Mark then took a deep breath and rubbed his face ,he then looked at Harry “ you could have called" 

Harry was watching, Mark “ we were like brothers Harry" 

"He was going to hurt you" Harry said , and Louis snapped his head to him 

Harry continued “if you knew.. if we were in contact he would hurt you..I am sure he thought you knew my place for some time. He would have hurt you. He did it before" 

Mark bit his lower lip and didn’t talk, Harry sighed “ that night at the hospital.. when he punched you and threatened to hurt..he was going to make it and nothing was going to stop him" 

Mark just shook his head but Maily said “ listen guys, that happened long time ago, the point is Harry is okay" 

Mark looked at Harry “ he is okay and happy" he looked at Louis “so he could have called” 

"I wasn’t okay, I was awful, my mind was in dark places, I couldn’t have contacted this way, but now I am fine and I am happy, and I want you to meet the one I love, I didn’t come to you before cause I wasn’t going to put you through hell again because of me, and now he is dead" Harry said and looked down 

Mark sighed “ you were my friend, I wanted to help"

" you already did. Please I am sorry" 

Louis then took Harry’s hand, he knew he was stressed and he wanted to calm him down 

"Listen guys, I don’t know what history you had together, but all I know that Harry is trying to collect himself again. He had been through a lot and I think he is ready now to give his life a second chance" 

Harry looked at him and nodded, Louis smiled and looked back at Mark “ he is ready for second chances" 

"That easy?” Mark asked 

And louis nodded “ it wasn’t easy for him too" 

Maily then said “Mark, stop it, you have been dying to know anything about him, and he is here and fine and safe. You know why he did what he did" 

Mark took a deep breath and looked at Harry “ I missed you"

Harry smiled and nodded while wiping his tears.  
******  
Louis and Harry couldn’t stay with Mark and Maily for few days , but they promised they would return back. They exchanged numbers and Louis was more than happy. Harry was letting him in. Okay he freaked out at the start but now he was ready, he was ready to face his past, to meet his old friends and he wanted Louis with him.

They just entered their flat, Harry rushed to the bathroom, he wanted to pee, while Louis entered the kitchen for some tea.  
He pressed his kettle when his phone buzzed in his pocket.  
He picked it and unlocked it. It was Nick, he sent him photos.  
Photos of Harry with a man, kissing, heading towards a hotel.  
Louis’s heart stopped. He was frozen. 

" baby, make me tea too" Harry said entering the kitchen, when he saw Louis standing there gazing at his phone  
"Are you okay?” he asked 

But louis looked at him “ what is this?” 

Harry took the phone, he felt dizzy . His heart dropped and he felt the worse sharp pain in his chest.

He raised his face and Louis was looking back blankly  
" what is this Harry?” 

Then he yelled “ answer me “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but the pain starts


	29. Chapter 29

Louis was crying on the phone , he was sitting in a chair on the hospital waiting room all his body was shaking, his mind was racing and he couldn’t talk it anymore 

"I don’t know Zayn, we were talking and suddenly he collapsed” the tears were running freely and his hreat ached “ they say it’s a minor heart attack, he had a heart attack Zayn?” he nodded his head and wiped his tears “okay, I will wait" 

He ended the call and put the phone beside him, he wiped his tears and tried to breath , it was hard and it was scary. He still remember Harry collapsing in front of him unable to breath, he still remember the hard words he told Harry before he collapsed, he still remember how Harry looked hurt and disappointed. But Harry cheated on him, and there was a tap, and it was recent since Harry was wearing Louis’s shirt, he was cheating and he didn’t defend himself, he didn’t even tried to.

" Harry styles?” a man said

Louis raised his head and there was a man dressing hospital scrub standing in front of him.

Louis stood up, the doctor said “you are here for Harry styles?” 

Louis nodded, the doctor gave him a hand shake “ I am doctor Alex Karev, and I am Harry’s doctor. You are?” 

Louis swallowed thickly, he hated this part, he hated where the doctor wanted to know the relation so he could give eye bad news 

" his fiancé” 

The doctor nodded his head “ he is stable now, and he is removed to the cardio intensive care for tonight?”

"Can... can I see him?”

The doctor nodded again" yeah, of course. Only for few minutes. But I here to ask you something questions, and I hope you will be able to answer" 

Louis sighed cause he knew internally that he wouldn’t be a help.  
*****   
Louis wasn’t a help, he couldn’t answer any of the doctor questions regarding Harry’s case, he didn’t know the name of his medicines, and he didn’t know when did he start taking them, he didn’t know what exactly happened to him years ago, he didn’t know anything about at all. The doctor tried to calm him down, he tried but he failed, Louis was getting upset and scared with every question he heard. Finally the doctor allowed him to see Harry.

The place was cold and quit, it was dark and depressing only the sound of the machine was heard. Louis sat beside Harry’s bed and he stared at Harry’s face, and there was only one question he wanted to hear the answer. 

He took Harry’s hand and he kissed it, he couldn’t talk, he couldn’t think. He just stared there till the doctor came and told him he had to go.

****  
Once Louis left the room he saw Zayn standing there waiting for him, he hugged him tight and Louis cried again. He wanted someone to support him, he wanted someone to stay by him during all this.

Zayn patted his back softly and then he took him and they sat at the hospital cafe where Louis told him what happened .

Zayn finally shook his head while looking at the phone “ I can’t believe he did it, Harry would never do this"

Louis nodded then he rubbed his eyes roughly “ I don’t know what to do" 

Zayn then gave him his phone “ Nick sent them” 

Louis looked at him and raised a brow “ does it change anything?” 

Zayn shrugged “ maybe" 

Louis snapped “and maybe not. We all know Harry was hiding something, even you noticed.. so what if it was this?” 

Zayn was listening then he sighed “I don’t think Harry would hurt you. I mean those photos Don’t prove anything “ 

"Oh come on, they were kissing" 

Zayn again shook his head “ you believe that?”

"What not to be believe Zayn, they were kissing, he didn’t even deny that"

" oh you mean he should fight his struggling heart to beat and answer you accusations” 

Louis stared at him and didn’t speak, Zayn took a deep breath to calm himself then he said “ I guess you should leave. You look tired and exhausted. The doctor says he won’t wake up till tomorrow..I will stay" 

Louis looked at him “ you are pushing me away" 

"I am giving you time to think and calm down.” Louis didn’t talk   
"Tommo, I know the minute he opens his eyes you will demand answers, his heart is weak and he will be disoriented and depressed. I don’t think he can handle this" 

Louis snapped his head up “ did you talk to his doctor?” 

" I did. And his case is getting complicated” 

Louis shook his head in frustration, Zayn said “go home, get some rest and some sleep. And then tomorrow is going to be a different story" 

Louis did. He left home but he couldn’t sleep. Of course he couldn’t. He flipped as a fish on his bed and eventually he decided to take one of Harry’s sleeping pills. He opened the board and he took the bottle and it only had one. One!

Louis stared shocked at the nearly empty bottle, last time he checked it was half full. What was Harry doing?what was he thinking?

"Are you fucking cheating on me Harry?” Louis yelled looking at Harry 

Harry was staring at the phone blankly, he didn’t talk, he didn’t even blink , but he whispered 

" Nick" 

Louis was fuming “ are you joking? Is that what you care about? Nick? You know what... I can’t believe I didn’t believe him" 

It was when Harry looked at him “what?”

Louis looked back, tears already formed in his eyes “please tell me this is not true.. Harry you were wearing my shirt”

Harry again looked down 

Louis pleaded “please, tell me it is not true"

Harry didn’t raise his head up, Louis shook his head in frustration “you did it, you cheated on me. After all of this..After what I have done for you? You fucking ungrateful... he was right"

Louis was pacing the kitchen “ he was right, he told me you will cheat on me, actually everything he said was right.. and I didn’t want to believe him. I chose you to believe. And I was a fucking stupid. He was right , you are a whore a thief and a cheater..” 

He looked at Harry and he was swaying he put his hand on his chest and then he collapsed.

end of flashback

Louis shook his head trying to shove the memory at the back of his mind, he didn’t take the pill and he returned to bed. He hugged himself and he cried again, everything was too much now. He closed his eyes still crying till he slept.

******   
When Louis opened Harry’s room that he was transported to it this morning, Zayn was there sitting by Harry. Harry was awake. Sitting on his bed resting his back on the pillow behind him.  
He saw Louis and his face was blank. Louis smiled and walked closer “baby, you are awake" 

Harry nodded and looked at his lap 

Louis sat on the bed beside him “how do you feel?” 

" I am okay" 

Zayn then stoop up “ okay guys, I am gonna leave you two together “

And he left the room, Louis took Zayn’s place and he looked at Harry “ you scared me" 

Harry again didn’t raise his head.

Louis sighed “ i want to know you are okay now..” 

" Leave" harry whispered 

Louis frowned and said “what?” 

Harry sniffed “ leave me" 

Louis was so confused “what are you talking about"

Harry raised his head up and looked at Louis, he was too weak, his eyes were barely opened, his face was pale and he looked too sad “ i can’t do this anymore" 

"Do what Harry? What are you doing?”

Harry cried again “ I am putting an end. We were not suppose to happen" 

"Are you breaking up with me?” 

Harry closed his eyes and the tears fell freely “ you deserve better, you will always not believe me”

"Harry.. Don’t do this... what did you expect me to do? I saw the photos”

Harry nodded and looked again at Louis “That’s why you should leave" 

Louis was staring back at him “ don’t do this to me, you can’t do this to me" 

Harry took Louis hand, he took off the ring and he put it between Louis’s hands “ i didn’t want to hurt you..but everyone was right. I was right. I will hurt anyone. That’s me, and I am so sorry"

Louis shook his head “ we can talk" 

Harry squeezed his hand “ you will always have your doubts lou.. you will always suspect me.. anyone says anything you will choose to believe him" 

" I didn’t.. I asked you.. I wanted answers i deserve answers" 

Harry shook his head “ you deserve better" 

Louis shook his head and pulled his hand away “how dare you do this to me" 

Harry looked again at his lap and didn’t talk 

" I can’t believe I lived you, I can’t believe I let you do this to me.why? What did I do wrong? What did I do?” 

Harry didn’t answer, but the machine that was measuring his heartrate started to peep 

"Tell me why? Just tell me why?” 

The machine was peeping faster and higher. Harry didn’t raise his head and Louis didn’t understand anything. The door was opened and a doctor and two nurses entered. They pushed Louis outside the room. Louis was staring at Harry, the doctor lied him down and Harry was closing his eyes. Then the door was closed.

Louis was frozen outside, he didn’t know for how long then the his phone went off.

Louis gathered himself and answered the phone 

" Louis?”

Louis frowned “Lottie? Why are you crying?” 

"She is mom... you need to come immediately”


	30. Chapter 30

Louis was running non stop, his heart was beating fast , his mind was going crazy and he was freaking out. Lottie’s cries were still in his ears, her words and her voice couldn’t leave his mind .

After he got the phone call, he called Zayn again to come and stay with Harry, Zayn didn’t answer so he called Niall and asked him to come immediately, the doctors were still with Harry when he left the hospital, he couldn’t drive and he took the train.   
Niall called him two hours later and told him Harry was stable now, Louis begged him not to leave and Niall promised he wouldn’t. 

Louis saw Lottie crying by his mom room, his heart literally dropped and he felt weak in his knees. He ran to her and once she saw him she hugged him and cried 

“What happened?” he asked looking at the closed door

She said still hugging him “she is so sick Lou, she is too sick" 

He looked at his sister panicking “what is going on?” 

Then Dan showed up and patted his shoulder, Louis looked at Dan and asked “ someone tell me" 

Dan took him steps away and said “calm down, the doctors are with her" 

Louis couldn’t calm down “ will she be okay?” 

Dan sighed and he said “ i am so sorry louis" 

“Sorry?”

“she is dying" 

“no" he whispered 

“ I am so sorry, but her case was getting worse"

“how worse?”

Dan sighed and said softly “ she is not responding to the chemo, she is not responding to anything. And recently the doctors told us it was a matter of time and she wouldn’t be able to leave the hospital..” 

“Oh god" he gasped. He couldn’t breath 

“I am so sorry Louis.. but she didn’t want to tell anyone" 

Louis snapped his head up “what?”

Dan added “ she has been dying ... it has been six months” 

Louis couldn’t’ talk, he just cried then he looked at Dan “why didn’t you tell me Dan?” 

Dan shook his head “ she asked me not to..”

“I would have come"

“ and she would have hated that, she wanted every single one of you to live his life as nothing was wrong" 

Louis sobbed “ everything is wrong .everything..” 

Dan hugged Louis really tight and together the two men cried.  
******   
He never saw his mother this way before, and once he saw her he knew. She didn’t have long.

She lost most of her weight, she lost her brightness and energy. She was too pale and his heart really hurt . He never wanted to see her this way.

Once she saw him standing at the door, she reached her hand for him, he walked to her and hugged her ,he promised himself he would be strong and he wouldn’t cry, but how could he possibly do this?

“I missed you" she said weakly 

He looked at her and he knew his voice would betray him, he only nodded and kissed her hand 

She sighed “I am so sorry baby, I am sorry I let you down , I let all your sisters down, I can’t win this" 

He looked at her with quivered chin “ why didn’t you tell me mom, I could have come"

She shook her head still smiling “no, baby. I would have hated that, you have your life.. I can’t just drag out of it" 

“ You did everything to me, you always stayed by myside .it is the least I could do"

She patted his hands “ I can’t stand this look" 

And he couldn’t take it, he sobbed “ i can’t let you go mom"

She looked at him sadly “come here" she hugged him and whispered “ I know you will be strong, I know. I will finally meet my baby girl" 

He cried harder and she rubbed his back softly, she rested her head on his shoulder “ I trust you, I know you will be okay" 

******   
"Pick up, pick up" Louis was saying walking in the hospital corridors 

"Tommo"

"Niall, where the hell have you been? I have been trying to reach you"

"Yes Tommo, sorry I was busy. How is your mom now?”

Louis sighed and stopped walking , he leaned in the next wall “not okay, how is Harry?” 

Niall took a minute to answer “I was talking to his doctor, he is stable now. But Louis.. he needs a surgery.. as soon as possible" 

Louis felt weak in his knees   
Niall added “what happened between you two, he doesn’t want to talk but he is not okay. I told him about your mom and he still didn’t talk" 

Louis squeezed his eyes to stop the tears “ I will tell you everything, Niall please don’t leave his side” 

"Sure man, I won’t. Take care and say hi to your mom, I hope she gets better soon” 

Louis nodded “, yeah, I hope so" 

He ended the call and he walked to the waiting room to meet Lottie. She was sitting with Dan. Once Dan saw him he excused to go to Jay. Louis sat by Lottie. She was crying .

He embraced her and she hugged on his shoulder “she is dying Louis.. she is. And I can’t do this.. I can’t lose her too" he rubbed her hair softly, and then he kissed her forehead and he didn’t say anything. How could he? He was scared too.

*****   
Louis decided to stay at the hospital with his mom, he asked Dan and Lottie to leave and he stayed with her.

It was early morning and he was talking nervously on the phone in front of the window, he was trying to keep it low as his mom was sleeping but he couldn’t control his anxiety “what do you mean? He can’t just leave Niall... he can’t just disappear “ 

Niall said through the phone “ I am telling you, I just went for a shower, it didn’t talk long , only half an hour and when I returned he was vanished. I looked everywhere I don’t know-"

"Why didn’t you tell me?” 

"Louis. I know you are already nervous with your mom.. I really didn’t want to tell you, I wanted to find him ..but I don’t know where to look" 

Louis gave a frustrated huff “ I can’t leave mom and go to look for him" 

"Just tell me where do you think he could be, I went to Liam’s and his mom's grave, I went to his old house , I even called Sam. I went to Paul.. I don’t know, I thought he could be with you"

Louis shook his head “no.. he wouldn’t. We broke up Naill" 

"Shit.. but why?” 

Then Louis felt movement from behind, he turned his back and he saw His mom was moving “listen I gotta go, mom is waking up. Call you later and if anything happened please let me know"   
He ended the call and he tried to smile at him mom, she was smiling back at him 

" did I wake you?”

She weakly shook her head and said “ I missed your voice" 

He sat beside her and kissed her forehead “ how do you feel,”

She was looking at him and then she smiled “ what is wrong with you and Harry?” 

"You heard me?” 

She shook her head “ I only heard his name. But I was expecting him with you, if he isn’t here then there must be something wrong" 

He shook his head “ no, we are fine. It just.. it is a little misunderstanding.. he doesn’t know you are here” 

She nodded , he took her hand and she smiled and looked at him “ he is a good man, he loves you.” 

Louis looked down, he loved him? And cheated on him?  
" will you be okay?” 

He looked at her again and shrugged “I don’t know mom, I really don’t “ 

She nodded “ he has a big heart, he wants new beginning with you. He might fall once .. but don’t make one mistake ruin it" 

He frowned looking at her, did she know?

She smiled “ people like Harry with hard past, will always fight their past, their past will always hunt them.. sometimes they gave up and sometimes they stand-up again and fight. And they will always need our support in both ways “ 

He smiled and nodded his head   
******   
Louis was sleeping on the couch at his mother room. His phone suddenly went off after midnight and startled him. He picked it up and answered immediately with accelerated heart beats “Harry!”

"LOU" he was crying

"Baby, where are you?”

"I am sorry" , Louis looked at his sleeping mom, she was too tired today that she barely wake up. Doctors were too worried and Louis felt there were missing words when they tried to reassure him 

She was under ventilator, she couldn’t breath now on her own. Louis know she was getting worse with every minute.   
"Harry, where are you?”

" I didn’t mean to hurt you, I am so sorry”

"I know" 

" please forgive me" it was when Louis felt there was something wrong 

" Harry where are you?”

There was a huge moment of silence then Harry whispered “ I want to do this" 

"No!” 

" I can’t.. I don’t want to do this anymore” 

Louis was crying “Harry, please listen to me baby.where are you? I can’t get to you now.. but tell me where you are. I wills end Niall or Zayn to help" 

He heard sniffles 

" you promised me Harry, you promised “ then he left the room because he couldn’t think or talk 

" I am sorry “ 

" I forgive you.. just don’t do this. HARRY I need you. Mom is dying and I can’t come to get you .. please don’t leave me too" he was sobbing too.

Harry didn’t talk 

"Harry.. where you are?” 

He was hearing Harry breathing , Louis said again “please, please I need you" 

" do you still love me?” Harry asked with broken voice 

" I always will" 

" I love you too"

"Don’t do this, don’t hurt me this way, please “

" I won’t “ 

Louis froze for a second “ you won’t what?”

" I won’t hurt you" but that didn't mean he wouldn't not hurt himself 

Louis nodded “ yeah.. yeah good. Send me your location baby" 

"Okay" 

Then he heard his phone received a message , he put Harry in speaker while sending Niall Harry’s location and a text saying “ go now and save him” 

He said “ Harry i will see you soon, right?” 

" Yeah..” 

"Niall is coming for you, is that right?” 

"Okay, I will wait “ 

"Good baby...” then he saw number of doctors rushing towards his direction then they entered his mom’s room.

The door was opened and he saw the doctors were trying to revive his mother. He entered the room and watched while there were trying to resuscitate her. 

He looked at his phone where Harry was waiting and he looked at his mom while she was dying.

He knew he was losing one of them tonight.

And he was right.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter

Louis was hugging his little twins while watching his mother coffin going under, he was crying, his sisters were crying the kids were crying. Everyone was crying. Jay was a lovely kind person, she was like an angel and no one could ever hate her.  
Lottie walked closer and she took his hand and squeezed. His heart was breaking for her. She was the closest to his mom, she was the closest to Fizz and now she lost them both.

Louis didn’t want to leave. He stayed although it was cold, but he didn’t leave. It was going to rain and Dan took the others home . But louis stayed. He couldn’t leave her alone. Not now. He didn’t want it to be the last time he could smell her, he was still smelling her. 

He stood in front of the grave watching it and crying. He never thought he could feel this pain before, feel this powerless. And for the first time he really could feel Harry. Or a piece of what Harry was feeling. 

Harry. He missed him. He hadn’t heard from him since that night, he didn’t know if he was okay or not, Niall told him he was alive but Louis couldn’t hear his voice . He missed him and he just wanted to feel safe, and somehow he felt safe with Harry.

Louis wiped his tears and sighed, he looked up to the sky “ the skies are sad too mom" then he squeezed his eyes and cried again. He hugged himself because he felt small, he already missed her hug and he just refused to believe she was gone.  
Louis felt hands wrapping him, from behind, then he smelled him, he smelled Harry, he felt hair touching his neck and then he turned and it was Harry.

Harry was here.

Louis didn’t talk, he just hugged him and he cried. Harry cried too. Louis felt his sobs. But together they stayed and cried even when it rained they didn’t leave. They left when Louis felt Harry trembling beside him and his lips turned blue. Harry promised he was okay, but Louis knew how cold Harry easily gets.

When they entered the house , everyone was there. The twins were the first who saw Harry, they ran to him and both hugged him, he carried them both and kissed them , he missed them as if they were his own sibling.

Then the twins came and he hugged them too, he kissed their forehead while they cried in his hug.

He then walked to lottie who was crying alone. He hugged her and she hugged back and she sobbed, he hugged her tight, wrapped his two arms around her and he also cried.

He didn’t let go until the younger twins hugged his head again.  
He smiled to them and he kneeled to be in their level “ I missed you so much" 

Doris smiled “ we missed you too” 

"Mom is gone Harry" Ernest said , Harry nodded ad swallowed his tears, he tried to keep his smile , Ernest said “ she is with fizzy now. I am not sad you know. I hated that fizzy was alone" 

Harry nodded again, Doris said “ mom loved you Harry, she told me that, she told me that you are a part of this family too. You are like Louis a brother to us"

Harry looked down and couldn’t answer that, Louis said “alright kids. Let Harry go to the room, he needs shower, okay" 

Ernest looked at Harry “can you tell us a bedtime story?”

Harry smiled at them and said “ sure" 

Then Phoebe and Daisy took the twins and walked to their room. Lottie sighed “ I will ask them to make you something to eat.. you look pale" 

Louis looked at Harry, he did looked pale and so exhausted, he looked like he was running a marathon for a month , well he ran away the hospital, he still needed his rest and medication , he needed a surgery 

Harry nodded and she walked away  
" let’s go to our room" Louis said 

******  
After the shower, Harry walked out of the bathroom looking more exhausted, Louis was on the couch, he sighed when he noticed his reflection in the mirror while Harry was tieing his hair 

" You left the hospital Harry" 

Harry turned his back and shrugged “I hate hospitals “

" Harry, this is serious.. you can’t do this" 

Harry looked down and didn’t talk, Louis then walked to him and stopped in front of him “ you can’t do this to me again, you can’t scare me this much again Harry, please “ 

Harry was looking at his eyes “ we need to talk" 

Louis nodded but he closed his eyes , he was so tired, he had this awful headache from crying , and this chest pain that he knew it wasn’t physical.

" we will talk later, I need to shower and you need to tell the kids the story"

Harry only nodded and he left the room  
****  
When Louis entered the kitchen, Harry and Lottie was there, she was crying and he was patting her hand softly and whispering to her. When he noticed Louis he only shrugged. And then he left his seat and Louis sat on his place

" lots.. come on. Give yourself a break baby, stop crying”

She nodded and took a kleenex and wiped her tears she looked at him and she shrugged “ it is hard" 

He nodded trying his best not to collapse “ I know it does. But I need you to take care of yourself too, please. I don’t need to be worried about you"

Lottie took a deep breath and then she asked “ what is the wrong with you two?” she looked between Harry and Louis “ did you break up? Harry doesn’t wear his ring"

Harry looked at Louis with big eyes, Lottie went on “ and he didn’t come with you.. did you break up with him?” she was talking to Harry

"I ..I -"

"He forgets his ring with me" Louis said 

"Another reason to believe you broken up, he didn’t come , he knew mom was dying and he didn’t come..”

"I was at the hospital..”Harry said , Louis looked at him shocked Harry swallowed and looked at Lottie “I am sick Lottie.. and before Louis knew Jay was in the hospital I was there.. he didn’t tell me not to cause panic and I guess he didn’t tell you too" 

As usual Harry rescued the situation , but this time by telling the truth. He knew it was wrong to tell his siblings the truth now, he didn’t know if Harry still wanted this relationship or he wanted an end and he just came to say goodbye.

Lottie then left her seat and she hugged Harry “ how sick?” she was extremely worried 

Harry gave her his sincerest smile “ I am okay, I promise" 

Louis wanted to shout that no you aren’t okay, he watched as Lottie gave Harry a kiss on his cheek, she looked at her brother and she excused to sleep. She was tired too and she didn’t want to argue anything, she didn’t want to worry about anything. 

Louis then looked at Harry “ how do you feel?you look tired" 

Harry sighed and sat in the table “I am tired"

"Harry, you should go back to the hospital “ 

Harry shook his head and closed his eyes “ I hate hospitals..” 

then he opened his eyes and there were tears falling  
Louis frowned and walked closer “ why are you crying?”

Harry shrugged and then he hugged him “I am sorry.. I am so sorry" 

Louis hugged back and he rubbed Harry’s back softly “let’s get some sleep" 

Harry looked at him shocked, like he didn’t expect that , he only nodded and together they walked to their bed.

Louis lied on the bed and Harry lied beside him, together they were looking at the ceiling 

"I will miss her" Louis said

It was dark but he felt Harry nodding “ you will never stop"

" does is get better? The pain?” 

He felt Harry’s hand on his “ a little. But she will always be in your heart..in your head. She will never go" 

Then Louis with his other hand covered his eyes “God.. it is so hard" he cried 

Then he felt Harry’s turning your him “ don’t worry, it will be less hard.. you can cry Louis..” 

Louis squeezed Harry’s hand and then he gave him his back, and he did. Louis cried and Harry hugged him, he spooned him and he wrapped his hand around him, he buried his face in his hair . And louis cried .

But he felt a little relived. Harry was there with him. Harry was okay .


	32. Chapter 32

Next morning, when Louis opened his eyes his head hurt like hell. He knew this feeling, he was sick.  
He looked beside him and he was alone. Harry wasn’t there. He didn’t have the time to pick cause he saw Harry’s watch on the nightstand, and then he saw his bag next to the bed.  
Harry didn’t leave.

He entered the kitchen and he found the servants there, they greeted him and told him that the family were having their breakfast. 

When he reached the dining table ,Dan was the only one left. He was alone and abstracted he didn’t even feel Louis sitting beside him 

“ are you okay?” Louis asked his voice was congested , Dan startled and looked at him, he then smiled and sighed “ sorry, I was just... sorry"

Louis saw Dan's eyes. They were red and puffed. He was crying  
“you just missed the family, Harry insisted to make us breakfast, he even fed the kids himself" 

Of course he did. Louis then asked “ where are they?” 

“ Harry took the kids outside, the girls are in their rooms i guess. Are you sick?" 

Louis shrugged "maybe "

Louis was watching Dan, he was struggling to talk.  
Louis finally asked again “ will you be okay?”

Dan nodded his head then he shook it and he covered his eyes and he cried “I am sorry, I am just so sorry... it’s very hard. She was always there you know.. she always knew what do.. she was the one with a solution and now I am by my own.. and I know shit Louis.. I don’t know what to do.. I mean I couldn’t even fed my kids.. when they cried I couldn’t calm them down.. I have no clue..”

“ shh .. calm down" Louis said, then he pressed his hand softly “breathe” 

Dan nodded and he took a deep breath “ sorry" 

“don’t.. Don’t apologize. I hear you okay , and I am here.. I am here and I won’t go away" 

Dan nodded again, and he wiped his tears “ yeah, thank you" 

Louis nodded too “ do you know what is happening next?” 

Dan shrugged “ all I know that I will keep this family together. Just like she always wanted" 

Louis smiled “good"

“ but I really need your help. I mean Lottie should go London.. I will be back my own”

“ Lottie is going to London?”

Dan looked at him shocked at first then he sighed “ she didn’t tell you, did she? She was supposed to go there for some courses like three months ago, she stayed for your mom. I guess now we should encourage her , she would say no because she would need to watch over the family but it’s not her job.. she has been doing a little for this family, it’s time for her”  
Louis nodded , he had no idea about that, but he only nodded , he would talk to Lottie. 

Dan then shook his head “ I don’t know if I can do it Louis?”

Louis smiled “you live this family, I am sure you will do great"  
Dan looked at him and smiled back “ those words mean a lot to me. And you too, you will do great and you will have a great family with Harry, he is a good kind man and you deserve each other" 

Louis couldn’t talk. He wished he could have this hope, he hoped he can imagine his life with Harry but even this was impossible, he had no idea where did he and Harry stand.  
He stood up and squeezed Dan’s shoulder “ you will be great" 

And then he walked outside. He saw Harry and kids lying on the ground, looking at the sky and pointing at the clouds. They were laughing and talking loud. Louis walked and lied by them. 

“Hay lou.. look this looks like Harry" Doris said pointing at a cloud 

Louis narrowed his eyes “how?” Harry giggled and so did Ernest  
“look at his hair. It’s just the same" 

Louis then nodded and laughed “ well.. yeah. Maybe" 

Ernest the said “ and this is a dear"

Louis looked at where he pointed , he had to approve so he said “ yes, it is" 

Harry also pointed at one “ this is an ice cream “ 

Doris and Ernest said “ yes it is" 

“ how do you guys do this?” 

Doris patted his shoulder “ it is okay, Harry says not all people could see that, only talented ones"

“ Hay, I am talented “ 

Ernest said “ then find one" 

Louis smiled and looked at the sky focusing, Harry said “ I found one" 

Doris said excited “ me too" 

Louis sighed “ come on Ernest help me here. “ 

Ernest giggled “ Harry.. can I help him?” 

“Hay... you are my brother. Help me" Louis said 

Harry laughed “ help him Ernest.. he is sick and can't focus"

Ernest said excited pointing his finger “ do you see this? It’s an angel. Can you see the wings" 

Louis was looking, he then smiled. He could finally see it “ wow.. it is beautiful” 

Doris said “ it is..” 

Harry said “ she is your mom.. she is watching over you" 

Ernest said “ yes, she is"

“ she is" Doris said 

Louis looked at Harry, he saw Doris rested her head on Harry’s shoulder, Louis looked again at the angle “ yes, she is"

Ernest then asked “ Louis.. “

“Yes buddy" 

“ is Harry my brother too? Moma said that"

Louis smiled “ he is" 

“ is he a part of our family?” 

Louis looked at Harry “ I guess you should ask him that" 

Harry looked at Ernest and Doris “ Ilove to be a part of this family” he looked at Louis “I already consider you as my family, and I know I have a lot of things to do to earn your love and trust.. but you have to trust me. I never hurt you and never will" 

Louis knew Harry meant him, he meant to tell him everything Harry wanted to talk and Louis wanted to listen

*****  
Louis was in his bedroom, he was feeling worse and Harry offered him some pain killers and asked him to get some sleep. He slept for three hours but he had to wake up cause he hated to leave Harry alone all this time.

He walked to his sisters ,they were gathered with their friends who came for support. They all gave Louis their condolences. 

Louis asked Lottie about Harry and she said he was in the garden with Nick.

Nick was there.

Louis stormed outside and there he saw Harry and Nick looking like fighting or something. He walked closer and Harry was walking away but was followed by Nick . Obviously no one saw him. But he saw and he heard 

“No Nick, I am not gonna stop and talk to you"

Nick was following him “why not? Are you scared to get caught? What did you do this time? Did you delete the photos before he could see them?” 

Harry shook his head but didn’t stop walking, nick yelled “ I am gonna tell him Harry, I am gonna tell him you cheated on him, I am gonna tell him what kind of whore you are.. you fucking peace of shit, I can’t believe hoe you played him.. you know what Jackson was right.. you are a great actor. “

Louis was going to talk to stop Nick, but he saw Harry froze in his spot, he turned and looked at Nick “ it was you?” 

Nick raised a brow, he didn’t understand 

“ you told Jackson where to find me? You told him where I work.. that’s how he knew about me.. but why?” 

Nick snorted , Harry added “ what did you expect? What do you think was happening between me and him Nick?” 

“ I know you were fucking" 

Harry shook his head in disbelief “ and he told you that while sucking your dick?” 

It happened too fast, Nick pushed him and he fell on the ground. It was when Louis finally interfered when Nick was ready to attack again. He stopped in front of nick and pushed him away  
Nick looked at Louis “ Louis.. thanks God you are here. I tried to save you, just sent you pictures of him cheating on you.. you know with his pimp.. Once a whore forever a whore"

Harry stood up and he yelled “ stop calling me that"

Louis looked at Harry, and Harry was angry , so angry  
Nick saw that too so he went on “why not? Are you ashamed of what you really are?” 

“ that’s not who I am"

Louis yelled and looked between them “ stop it right now" 

Nick yelled at Louis “ I can’t believe you brought that whore to your mother funeral, what would people say when they know about him? A whore, a thief , a fucking addict and a cheater" 

Harry yelled again “ I am not, don’t fucking call me that, if there was any cheater in this room then it would be you"

Nick and Louis looked at him, Harry nodded furiously “ yeah, I remember you, I remember the great Grimshaw.. that one who never take no as an answer. I remember how many times you asked for me.. I was only a bartender in a gay club..so what i needed money, but you? You were a customer.. usual customer who spent everything day fucking whores in this place you fucked everyone Nick and when you finished.. you asked for every other person worked there.. oh I remember you.. and I remember how many times you asked me.. and I always said no, I remember you telling Jackson that you wanted me.. I know how much you offered for me.. I remember when you were drunk and attacked me but I could run away.. and next thing you did you accused me of stealing.. Jackson beat the shit out of me for you... he was ready to kill me to please the great whore in the place Nick fucking Grimshaw.. he fired me and you still came for me.. I remember when Liam called the cops for you.. and I remember you doing this while you were engaged to Louis.” 

Then he stopped, he stopped taking but all his body was shaking, Louis then saw Harry looking with big eyes at something behind Louis. Louis turned his face and he saw all his family was there, and they heard everything.

Harry left the place and stormed inside ,Louis looked at Nick “ leave” 

He then followed Harry but he heard Lottie calling his name, he was on the stairs towards his room “ not now Lottie”, 

But she called him again, and he looked at her and she wasn’t alone, his sisters and Dan were there 

Daisy asked crying “was this true? Is Harry.. is he what Nick says he is?” 

Louis didn’t answer, he just ran to Harry. He needed to know. He needed to know why Harry kept it silent all this time.

Louis entered the room and slammed the door behind him, Harry was standing at the middle of the room, his back to Louis

“ Is this true? What you said? Is this true? Did you know Nick the whole time.. fuck Harry.. did you? And you didn’t tell me.. you knew him and you kept it away, and you knew he was my fiancé? why did you do that? What does this even mean Fucking? Fucking answer me Harry I need answers"

Harry finally looked at him, the blood had drained of his face “ i want to explain “ 

Louis walked closer “ then please do, how could you hide this from me Harry.. i-" 

Harry reached his hand for Louis, and Louis immediately knew there was something wrong , he was going to take Harry’s hand but Harry collapsed on the floor. He fainted.


	33. Chapter 33

"Jackson was my boss, he was the one that ran the club. Tough horrible man with no heart, I always tried to avoid him, tried" 

Harry snorted, he was on the bed, Louis was standing in front of him. Once Harry gained his conscious back, he wanted to tell Louis everything. 

" Jackson is the man in the photos Nick sent them.” He looked at Louis “ I didn’t cheat on you I swear to God. He was threatening me to tell you everything.. it’s nit that i hid anything but I didn’t want you to talk to him, I didn’t want him to get near you. I won’t do the same mistake twice"

"Harry, you could have told me..what did he want?” 

Harry sighed and nodded “I should have.. but I don’t want my past to come between us. I mean.. I don’t want you to see me as a whore-"

"Harry-"

" I didn’t cheat. I owned him money, the money Nick accused me of stealing. Liam was the one who threatened him, Liam has a friend.. an officer he handled that. I didn’t steal the money.. but Nick accused me and Jackson to save the reputation of his place paid him. I guess Nick told him Liam was dead and his friend wasn’t in town so he asked for the money, he came to me and he wanted to threaten me with you, he wanted to scare me. So I asked him to meet at that hotel.. I called Liam’s friend and he came too, I guess I won’t hear from him again.. he was arrested for using kids underage. Selling drugs, beating his co-workers and a lot.. I set him up"

"Harry.. this is fucking dangerous, why didn’t you tell me, I could have helped I know there was something “

Harry nodded “ I would never put you in this Louis. I would never make you deal with people like him. “ 

"But Liam could" Louis said a little bit angrier 

Harry snapped his head up “ Liam was already there, Liam knew me when I was working there, Liam is a part of this past I want to let go"

Louis closed his eyes because it was stupid to be jealous from a dead person “ I am sorry..” then he took Harry’s hand “ but I wanted to know. I wanted to help Harry, you made me believe you were cheating, you were hiding things from me and acting completely weird,then Nick sent those photos and I lost my mind.. I shouldn’t have doubted you but.. I don’t know I was too confused, I mean I could have forced Nick to tell him you didn’t steal..”

" I know.. but trust me. It was not the money he was after, even if Nick told him it was all a lie.. he wants me. And the only way to stop him is to put him in his pace for good" 

Louis shook his head and closed his eyes again, he took Harry’s hand “ that was dangerous Harry, he could know and maybe act stupid" 

Harry shook his head “ Claflin was ready” 

Louis took a deep breath then he looked at Harry “ you didn’t tell me about Nick” 

Harry nodded and shrugged “ I know you were not together, but I didn’t want you to know what he was doing while he was still engaged to you.. I am so sorry"

Louis was shocked “ you didn’t tell me because of that,”

" I didn’t want you hurt you, I mean I know you don’t live him anymore but the whole ordeal was still something to you" 

Louis sighed “you could have stopped him from day one Harry” 

Harry shook his head “ I never cared about him. How are your sisters? What do they think of me?” 

Louis shrugged “ I don’t care-"

" I do. I meant it Lou when I said I love your family" 

Louis was looking at Harry “ you broke up with me Harry" 

Harry nodded but his tears fell “ I know..” 

" Then you showed up again" 

Harry nodded and closed his eyes “ I couldn’t. I couldn’t live without you and I am sorry" 

" don’t be" Louis was crying too “ my heart literally broke Harry, but I wasn’t going to let you l go this easily, I was going to fight you know that don’t you? But Lottie called and told me about mom.. then you disappeared..I was listening my mind. I didn’t know what to do and I couldn’t pick-"

"I am so sorry to put you through this”

Louis shook his head and wiped his tears “ I can’t live without you too Harry” then he put his hand in his pocket and put out the ring, Harry was looking at the ring and then he looked at Louis “ they all know now" 

Louis shrugged “ I love you, I chose you" 

Harry shook his head “ I can’t let you fight this battle for me" 

Louis sighed but his heart was going crazy “ I am not Liam Harry, my family not his. I know they love you, I know they are shocked and confused now.. but we both know they deserve time, and trust me.. it is not about your past, it’s because we lied to them. And it is all my fault “ 

Harry then closed Louis’s hand “ ask me again, ask me when they are all okay with this" 

" Harry don’t overthink about it" 

"They are your family Louis. I can’t do this knowing they hate me"

“they don’t “

"Let me talk to them first” he was leaving his bed but Louis stopped him “you are not okay, I am worried about you"

Harry shook his head “ I will be fine"

"We both know that’s not true and we will talk about it"

"Then we will talk about it later" Harry left the bed but he felt dizzy that Louis had to support him for two minutes then he walked by his own. 

The family was gathered all together, when they saw Harry they didn’t talk. Lottie looked down while the girls were staring at Harry

"What is he still doing here?” Daisy said standing up  
Dan said “Dais..”

"No" she yelled, then she looked at Louis “ I want him to leave.. I can’t believe you lied to us" 

Louis was going to talk, but Harry took his hand and shook his head 

Daisy “we trusted you Harry, God mom trusted you.. she loved you and considered you as her own son" 

"Mom knew girls" it was Dan, and of course Dan knew too  
Harry finally said “I am so sorry"

Daisy crossed her arms “ well that’s not enough"

Louis said “ can we talk, please?”

Daisy then cried “ no, no it will not fix anything. Mom is dead, Harry is fake , Lottie is leaving. Nothing is right, nothing “ 

Then she ran upstairs.

Then Phoebe followed her without talking.  
Lottie stood up hut Louis said “ lottie..”

She shook her head “ it was wrong Louis. You shouldn’t have brought him again" 

" he didn’t “Harry said “we broke up lottie because I know people like me has no place on family like yours. But I am here because I loved Jay and I love you and I didn’t want to leave you alone on time like this. I know.. I know I can’t express how sorry I feel but I hope you will forgive me someday .. that’s all I am asking “ 

Lottie didn’t even looked up, then she also left the room. Dan then stood up and walked and stopped in front of them “ the girls are upset and they are allowed, they are confused and sad. Everything is mixed up. Just a little talk when they calm will fix everything “

When Dan left Harry collapsed on the chair, he covered his face and he cried. Louis walked and sat beside him “ Harry don’t “ 

"They hate me now"

"They don’t “ 

Harry looked at him “that’s why Louis i didn’t..” but he stopped himself 

" didn’t what?” 

Harry wiped his tears and took a deep breath “ that’s why I didn’t want to be in any relationship.. because it supposed to make you happy.. but no not in my case" 

"Harry.. they are kids.. they will understand “ 

Harry stood up and he said “ I will be in the room" 

Louis nodded and said “ I will follow” 

Louis saw Harry leaving the room and he stayed for a minute to gather himself. It was so complicated. He knew his sisters meant no harm but also he knew it would take time to fix it.

"What are you gonna do about it?”

Louis was shocked, he raised his head and he looked at him furiously “what are you still doing here" 

Nick walked coldly and sat in front of him “I am here to save you. I am -"

"Shut up Nick. What do you think you are doing?we are done”

" You can’t believe that-"

Louis jumped on his feet “mention his name again and I swear to God I will tell the police about you?”

Nick frowned “about what?” 

Louis looked at him “ you know exactly what I am talking about"

Nick also stood up “ you can’t be serious “ 

Louis crossed his arms “ I know what I saw.. and I know how much you tried to stop me, you know I didn’t talk because I loved you back then but right now I don’t have any reason to stop me" 

"You are doing all of this because of him?” 

" If i do this I will be because it is the right thing" 

" you can’t prove anything “ 

Louis nodded “ at least they will start an investigation , y.ou will lose your job you will may be deleted from the bar association"

"Are you threatening me Tomlinson?” 

" Harry will also tell the police. You accused him of stealing from you"

" he did" 

Louis snorted “ he didn’t, we both know why you were after him you couldn’t resist him before and you can’t resist him now" 

"How dare you? I am trying to protect you"

"And I want you out if my life Nick. For good. We don’t want to go through this cause trust me I will and you will lose, hiding an evidence for client is crime. You will lose your reputation; you will lose everything” 

Nick nodded his head “ I thought you loved me"

Louis shook his head “ just know you were cheating on me Nick, I know where you were spending your spare time and what clubs you were going and who you were fucking. So loving you is not a part of question any more" 

Nick was looking at Louis “ remember i warned you"

"GET OUT"

And finally Nick did. He walked away and left Louis.  
******  
When Louis entered the bedroom, Harry was sitting on the couch, his bag was beside him, he was full dressed and he was ready to leave.

"What are you doing?”

Harry looked at him and stood up “i am not welcomed anymore"

"You are my guest, and it is my house too" 

"Louis-"

"Harry.. why are you doing this?” 

"I am not doing anything Louis. I came right? I came and j know he would be there, he sent you the photos and he can play with your mind and you always choose to believe him i mean i broke up with you and I came. J know he would never stop and I was ready to take it, to take it all.. but I can’t stay where I am not welcomed" 

"They need time"

"And I am giving them time “ he walked closer to Louis “ I am not leaving you, I am just leaving here, I am giving them the time they deserve. They are your family and you can talk to them and they will listen to you, not me" 

Louis shook his head although Harry was totally right “I can’t let you go"

" I am not going anywhere" 

Harry promised him that before, and Louis hated to think that Harry was a suicidal but he couldn’t stop his mind 

"Wait till tomorrow then, you just passed out and it is already midnight, please Harry don’t make me go through this again"  
Harry was looking at Louis , Louis pleaded again “please" 

Harry nodded his head and Louis felt a little relieved. He took Harry’s hand and said “change your clothes, we both need some sleep" 

Harry walked to the bathroom, he closed the door behind him. Louis wanted to talk to his sisters, he wanted to out reason back in their mind, he wanted to convince Harry to stay, and he wanted to sleep.


	34. Chapter 34

Louis felt Harry was moving like a fish last night, he knew he couldn’t sleep and so couldn’t Louis. At the morning Harry left the bed and Louis saw how dizzy he was but he ignored, he decided to take Harry to the hospital when they return home even if it was against his well. 

He watched Harry getting out of the bathroom full dressed. Louis was waiting for him on the couch, he was debating whether to ask him to stay again or not. But when he saw how Harry was in rush, he knew Harry wasn’t able to stay and he wanted to leave as fast as he could.

He took his hand after calling him his uber, and they went downstairs. No one was there, Louis took him to the kitchen and they sat for the breakfast . No one was there only the servant who continued darling her work silently.

“Will you be okay,” Louis asked 

Harry nodded his head , Louis “ we should eat at the dining room"

Harry shook his head “ no, here is better. I am only here for some coffee" 

Louis sighed and looked at the servant “Tess. We will be in the dining room" the servant nodded smiling.

Louis took Harry’s hand and walked to the dining room “ you will eat your breakfast and tell me what is in your mind “ 

Harry shrugged “Nothing in my mind i promise. I am just trying to avoid your family , I don’t want to make them uncomfortable” 

Louis sighed and sat beside Harry “ I wish things were different” 

Harry nodded “yeah, me too" 

“ I am sure they will understand “ 

But this time Harry only nodded, he then said “ I am gonna visit mom today.”

“ and Liam?”

Harry nodded his head “yeah, and Liam.. “ then he looked at Louis “is that okay?”

Louis wanted to shake his head, recently he wanted Harry to stop visiting Liam not because he was jealous, well he was a little jealous yes ,but because he wanted Harry to let go of the past .

Louis nodded his head “ of course.” 

But Harry like heard Louis' thoughts “ please don’t “he sighed 

“don’t what?”

Harry shrugged “ don’t feel that about him" 

Louis was going to talk when Dan showed up , he greeted the boys and sat in front of them , he looked at Harry “ leaving already?” 

Harry only smiled 

Dan sighed “ please, tell me you aren’t leaving because of them" 

Harry didn’t talk , Dan sighed “ they Don’t understand Harry, they are only kids" 

Harry asked “ and you?”

Dan looked at Louis first then at Harry “ me what?”

“ Understand?”

Dan smiled softly “ well, we all had our own mistakes Harry, don’t we? Besides working as a bartender in a night gat club is not a mistake. You worked, you earned your own money instead of stealing or worse. I know you made some decisions but there are what make you today" 

Harry sighed “ it is not that easy. It’s only words" 

Dan smiled again “ but we both know they are true" then he looked at Louis “but tell me, is everything between you two okay? Jay was over the moon when you got engaged” 

Harry didn’t talk but Louis answered “ we will be okay" 

Harry looked at him and Louis nodded reassuring. The breakfast was there and Harry barely touched his food, he drank his coffee and when he was going to stand he swayed that Louis had to support him.

Dan saw everything and he panicked “ you can’t leave this way, what is wrong?” 

Harry gave a weak smile “ I will be okay" then he looked at Louis “ I promise, I will be okay. I will stay with Niall. I called him last night and he is waiting” 

It should had calmed Louis down, but it didn’t, it only meant one thing, that Harry wasn’t okay and he confessed that.

Louis’s phone buzzed and he looked at it, Harry asked “ is it my uber?” 

Louis looked at him “ I wish I could come" 

“don’t.. Don’t you dare leave them, they need you"

Louis sighed and Harry walked to give Dan a hug, Dan rubbed his back and squeezed his shoulder tightly.

Louis then took Harry’s hand and they walked towards the front door 

“Harry" Doris screamed his name . Both Harry and Louis turned their head and there were Doris and Ernest running towards him crying, Harry kneeled at the right moment and they hugged him so tight crying 

Doris said “where are you going? Are you leaving?” 

She pulled away but Ernest didn’t, Harry looked at her “ I have to go" 

She sobbed “no, please.. Don’t” she looked at Louis “ please Lou, make him stay. Why is he leaving? What happened?” 

Harry answered for Louis “ Nothing happened baby, but I have to go home" 

Ernest hugged tighter and Doris said “but we need you, please. Please don’t go too please “

Too. She said too and it hurt.

Harry cried and hugged her , he rubbed her back and said “I will be back"

She sobbed “no you won’t, you are sad. Everybody is angry at you but I forgive you" 

Ernest cried too “ I forgive you too”

Harry looked at Louis fir help, Louis didn’t know what to do, he never expected this from his younger siblings and his heart hurt, he wished Harry could stay but he didn’t want to push Harry to do something he wasn’t comfortable with.

Louis kneeled too and he rubbed Doris's back “ come on Princess, Harry has to go and he is not sad" 

She looked at Louis “he is not coming back" 

Harry sighed “I will be back i promise, but not now.. now I have to go" 

Doris hugged him again “ please, if you love me" 

Harry whispered “help me Louis” 

Louis was going to talk but Phoebe showed and she hugged Harry too. Harry looked at her shocked, she was crying too “I don’t want you to leave" 

Harry closed his eyes, now the tears were cascading his face, then Louis took Doris who cried on his shoulder, and phoebe took Ernest. Harry stood up and then he wiped his tears.

He looked at them and he said “I wish things were different “

He took his bag and he said to Louis “I will call you when I arrive" 

He didn’t see her, or he didn’t expect that, but suddenly Daisy came running and she hugged him too “ please don’t go" she cried 

Louis was shocked, he was watching his sister hugging Harry and crying g like her life depended on him , Harry was also shocked, he wrapped his hand around her to calm her trembling body “it is okay"

“ I am sorry" 

Then lottie also showed up and stood beside Louis, she took Doris and she was looking at Daisy and Harry 

“ it is okay Daisy, don’t cry"

She looked at him “ you hurt me"

Harry nodded “ I am sorry" 

“Is there anything else? Are you hiding anything else?”

Harry swallowed thickly and looked at Louis, Louis couldn’t give him any instructions because he was speechless.

Daisy said crying “ I want everything to be clear, no more secrets, do you love us Harry?” 

Harry nodded hastily “ of course I do" 

“ then tell us everything “ 

******* 

After dinner 

Louis and Harry were sitting together on the couch, Doris was sleeping on his lap and Ernest was sleeping on Louis.

They told him everything, Harry told them everything and Louis was both shocked and happy, shocked because he didn’t expect Harry to open up and happy because Harry trusted his family and told them everything. 

“ how sick ?” Daisy asked 

Harry shrugged “ the accident with my step father left me with damaged heart, but I don’t want you to worry about it" 

“ so you will be okay?”phoebe asked 

He nodded, Daisy “ are you on medications?” 

Harry sighed but Louis answered for him “ girls, he has been talking for three hours, give him a rest i have never seen him talking that much" 

Harry smiled and the girls looked more relaxed, Harry looked at every single one and asked “ so? That’s who I am. I didn’t hide anything I told you all the truth and trust me I never did this before" 

Lottie smiled “ we didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, we just want no secrets, we have been through a lot Harry ..and we are so sorry to make you feel this way" 

Harry shook his head “you deserve to know. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I really really want to be a part of this family” 

Doris then hugged him while still closing her eyes “ you are my brother"

Harry smiled , Louis was watching his whole family , at the start he was angry at them for interrogating Harry, he didn’t like them asking question after question, but Harry was okay and relaxed so maybe that calmed his nerve a little bit.

Dan wasn’t there, he had to go to work, he said he won’t be late but if was an emergency. 

Lottie then smiled and said “ I guess Doris said what we want to say, you are our brother” 

Harry looked at them again “ am I?” 

The twins nodded and then Lottie said “ mom loved you Harry, she knew everything and she still loved you. And mom had a good eye, she could read people easily. And believe it or not she asked us to take care of you" 

Harry was really shocked “ did she?”

Daisy nodded “ she did, she told us to take care of you because you have a good heart and deserve the best, we didn’t know what the reason for this but I guess now we know" 

Louis didn’t want to cry, but he thanked his mother for this.

“Okay curly , let’s put the kids on their bed" 

Harry nodded and together they walked to the kids bedroom, when Harry put Doris on bed she hugged Louis , she opened her eyes and asked “ is he gonna die,” 

Harry was kissing Ernest goodnight, he tugged him under his cover 

Louis smiled at Doris “ no one is going to die”

“Promise?” 

Louis’s heart wrenched but he said “ promise" 

****** 

Harry and Louis were drinking some tea, Harry’s features changed, he was more relaxed, more calm. He was more relieved 

“ that went well" Louis asked 

Harry sighed “ I was scared" 

“ told you they will understand”

Harry nodded and smiled , Louis sighed “I need to talk to Lottie"

“everything okay?” He looked concerned 

Louis shrugged “ she is going to London and she hasn’t talked to me yet" 

“London? Wow she can stay with us"

Louis looked at him “I don’t think she wants to come"

Harry frowned “ why?”

Louis sighed exhausted “ that’s why I need to talk to her" 

Then someone called “ Tomlinson “ 

Louis looked at Harry “ that’s Stan" 

Harry’s face fell, okay if Stan was here then Oli too, Harry stood up “ I will be in my room" 

He was going to walk, when Louis caught his hand “ stay" 

“ Louis.. I am so exhausted. I can’t deal with Oli now" 

“Here you are" Oli said entering the room, he looked between Harry and Louis , then he walked to Louis and gave him a hug, Stan followed and he gave Harry a quick hug too, then he hugged Louis but Oli ignored Harry.

Then Oli said “ Tommo , can we have a talk?” 

Louis narrowed his eyes “ okay, talk" 

“not here" oli said glaring at Harry 

Louis sighed “ Harry is my fiancé.. so talk" 

Oli looked shocked so did Stan, oli asked “ you are engaged now?” 

Then Stan looked at Oli , he slightly shook his head and Oli finally sighed “ congrats man" 

They all then sat and talked, oli still ignored Harry, so Harry played the same.

Louis went to answer his phone and Oli followed him. Stan was watching and then Harry sighed “ so Nick told you?”

Stan looked at him “ what? “

Harry smiled “ I know he did.” 

Stan sighed “ well, he could say what he likes but I don’t give a shit about Nick lad, you are a good person” 

Harry smiled gratefully “ thank you. But obviously your friend is not" 

Stan have a soft smile “Well oli is oli, he always finds something to nag about. He just can’t understand that Louis replaced us" 

“ he didn’t “ Harry defended 

Stan chuckled “ I haven’t heard from him for ages. And suddenly this year I see him twice and it feels like I Don’t know him anymore" 

****** 

Louis just ended his call, and when he turned he saw Oli there waiting for him leaning on the wall

Louis frowned “ what are you doing here?”

Oli shrugged “ what are you doing? What were thinking bringing him here again, and now you are engaged. What the hell happened to you?” 

Louis got angry super-fast “ are we talking about Harry?”

“Of course, we are talking about Harry” he walked closer “he is a whore, a thief an addict-"

“shut the fuck up, let me ask you Oli when will you stop believing Nick “

“It is not a lie. It is different” 

“And it is my life, and I chose him. Nick is big fat liar who proved how an asshole he is several times. I had enough of him and if you start to take sides and you took his then I had enough of you too"

Oli froze he was shocked “you like his this much?” 

“ I love him Oli. Love... do you know what love means?”

“ of course I do, what are you talking about? Do you really ask me if I know what love means? Oh my God" 

Louis shook his head “ I don’t think so" 

Oli walked closer “ you are wrong Louis. I know. I always know. But it is you who don’t “ 

“what does this even mean?” 

And it happened too fast, Oli just kissed him, he clumped his face and kissed him. It surprised Louis but when he gathered his shit again he pushed Oli. And Harry was there looking at them shocked so did Stan 

Stan asked “ what the hell?”

Louis looked between them , then he looked at Oli “get out"

Stan said “Louis-"

But Louis yelled “out"

Oli shook his head “you can’t be serious “

Louis glared at him “ you can’t be serious. I am engaged, I love someone and yet you pushed yourself on me" 

“Don’t tell me it is not mutual" 

“It is not, of course it is not.. Oli what were you thinking?”

“ I don’t know I just...”

Louis pulled his hair, he then looked at Harry who was looking down , he took his hand “ this is my fiancé.. “ 

“you don’t even wear the rings" oli cut him 

Louis shook his head in anger “this is my fiancé”he repeated himself “ I love him, and I plan to marry him and to have family with him. Of you can’t accept that then you should go and forget all about me. But if you can then he deserves respect and love because he is the perfect one for me" 

Stan nodded his head while Oli only stormed outside , Stan sighed and called him, then he looked at Louis who only nodded “ go" 

Stan then walked after Oli.

Harry looked at Louis “ I told you he loves you"

Louis shook his head “ I don’t know what is going on”

“ I am sorry" 

Louis sighed “ now they all know. And that’s a relief"

“is it?” 

Louis looked at Harry “ I love you, and i will always do, and I don’t really care.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only three chapters left


	35. Chapter 35

Happy ending?sad ending? Two endings? 

I have something in my mind but you know I love the votes


	36. Chapter 36

Louis was in the big office in his family house, the door was closed and he was sitting in the salon in front of Ben 

They were drinking tea and Ben was looking at Louis’s phone “ that’s very complicated Louis"

Louis was looking at Ben nervously , his knees were vibrating and he could hardly control his hands “ complicated how, they say he needs a surgery" 

Ben nodded “ yeah.. but it’s very risky" and Louis’s heart dropped, Ben then said “ I need more, this only half of what I want.. who is he to you again?” 

Louis didn’t talk, he was still processing his last words, he rubbed his hair and tried to remain calm “ he is not Harry , is he?”

Louis looked at him and shrugged, Ben cursed then he looked at Louis “ what happened?”

Louis shook his head “long story"

“ then tell me, bring him and tell me" 

Louis was still shaking his head “no, he doesn’t want to do it, he doesn’t even want to discuss it" 

“so what are you planning on?” 

Louis sighed “ I need to know if you can do the surgery or not" 

Ben took a deep breath “this is not how it is working, this is not enough “ he pointed at his phone “and you say he doesn’t take his medications over a year" 

“Or more" 

“ and he is still alive?”

Louis snapped his head up, Ben said “ I told you , it is very complicated.. he needs help , and he needs it tomorrow..so bring him and let’s talk"

“well I can’t.. not here, not with my sisters around. I don’t want them to worry" 

Ben nodded his head “ I understand..yeah you are right, then I need to talk to him"

“No, listen..I will bring him to you” 

“when ?” 

“soon. But if you want more info you have them" 

Ben sighed “ Louis..what you showed me is nothing “

Louis shook his head “ no, he was once your patient. Two years ago I guess maybe less j am not sure.. but he was. Look for him in your data Harry Styles"

Ben nodded but was still puzzled “ why did he stop?”

Louis looked down “it’s a long story"

Ben then closed his eyes and rested his back “so Nick was right" 

Louis snapped his head up and glared at Ben, Ben said “ I am not judging but I think he stopped coking and taking his meds because he had no money" 

Louis shook his head and stood up “ can you help him or not" 

Ben was watching “even if I can’t, I can recommend who can" 

Louis looked down “just don’t tell him anything, don’t show him anything. Just find his data and tell me what to do" 

Ben stood up and walked to Louis “ I have nothing against him, don’t be ashamed" 

Louis frowned and looked at him “ I am not" 

Ben only smiled “ you started that road and it’s now or never, you need to decide what to do, because from where I am standing it will be a hard road" 

Louis took a deep breath “ i want an end , I want everything to be okay"

“and it will be.. just be patient" 

Louis looked at him “ you have no idea how patient I was, but when he collapsed that day and wasn’t responding and I had no idea what to do or what was wrong, I mean I am his fiancé and I have no idea what is his problem and he doesn’t want to talk” the he looked his eyes “ I just want to save him" 

Ben nodded because he thought he just want to save his heart, but Louis meant he wanted to literally save Harry from everything. 

***** 

Harry was in the kitchen with the twins, they were helping him cooking and Tess was also there watching them with a glass of wine, it was Harry’s idea .

She was watching Harry and saying “that is new Harry" 

Harry was adding some of vinegar to the frying pan , he looked at her and said “ that makes the meet more juicy, but I am sure you know that" 

Daisy took a big breath “oh.. that smells amazing Harry, why can’t stay longer?”

He smiled and looked at her “ I Really wish but I have work, your brother has work.. where is he anyway?”

Phoebe eating good from the salad Harry made “ he is with Ben in Dan's office, I don’t know what secret they are talking about"

Harry froze for a second then he completed his work but his mind went somewhere else.

Five minutes later Louis and Ben showed on the kitchen , Louis smiling “ I know I will find you here”

Harry tried to smile, he looked at Ben who was smiling back at him “ hello Ben" 

“Hello Harry, how are you?”

Harry looked at the food “ join us for dinner"

Ben waved his hand “ although the smell is tempting but I really have to go" 

Then he looked at Louis “ I will call you when I find anything “ then he greeted the girls and went out of the kitchen.

Louis looked back at them and said “ what are you cooking?”

Harry didn’t answer, he busied himself with cutting some carrots, Daisy answered “ Harry says it is your favourite dish"

Louis hugged Harry from behind “ every dish is my favourite “ but he felt harry was tensed between his arms and he sat himself free and pretended busy.

Louis looked around him and no one felt anything wrong, he asked “where is Lottie?”

Daisy answered “ in her room"

Louis took a glance at Harry, then he said “ ok, I am gonna see her" 

And he walked out the kitchen, he entered Lottie’s room and she was sitting on the couch looking at her phone, she looked at Louis “ hi" he said 

She smiled at him “hi to you too" 

He sat beside her “ are you okay? You’re locking yourself here” 

She shook her head “ I am not" , he looked at her eyes and he knew she was crying. 

He sighed “ I can’t find the right words to say Lotts" 

She shook her head “ she is your mom too, we share the same pain"

He nodded “ it feels like you are the only one who can’t process it yet" 

She sighed “ we all deal with it by our own way” he nodded, she added “ I hear Daisy cries eve night before she sleeps. Phoebe is always silent.. I mean she is always quiet but not this way. Dan is barely focusing on everything.. and you" 

He looked at her “ me?”

She smiled “ I can see the pain all over your face. Maybe Harry is a good distraction but now I know why you are looking at him this way" 

He was watching her shocked “what way?” 

Lottie “ like you were looking at mom, scared of losing him" 

He closed his mouth and looked in front, she said “ how bad is it?” 

“Lottie I am nit here to talk about Harry" 

She nodded “ yeah I know, you are here to talk about me going to London" 

“ right, you are the smart kid between us mom was right"

She smiled “ I am not going” 

“What?!”

“ come on lou, you know I can’t go" 

Louis shook his head “ no you can, and you should and don’t say you can’t leave them" 

She left her seat “i can’t “ 

“they are not your responsibility Lottie. You always wanted to take this class, stop putting yourself after us" 

She looked down and he saw the tears cascaded her face , Louis left his seat and walked to her “ they will be okay"

She shook her head and covered her eyes “ I can’t do this to them, I can’t leave them too. First was Fizzy and you and then mom, i can’t do this to them" 

Louis shook his head “ we will figure it out. I didn’t leave Louis.when Fizz died I know how much you took it on your shoulder but.. they are not your responsibility “

“then who?” 

He sighed “ they are adult enough, I mean the twins they understand actually I talked to them the other night and they seemed okay with this, and the kids have their father" 

“ so you are asking me to abandon them" 

Louis frowned and asked “ do you think that of me? Do you think I abandoned you?” 

She wiped her tears “ it’s different louis"

“how?” 

“ mom was there, she encouraged you .. we all did because that was the right thing, you just had an awful break up and needed a new start" 

“no.. okay maybe at the start that was the reason, but I found myself there, the job I have the people I met.. I am happy there and you will be" 

“I will never be happy away from them"

He sighed “ the twins can come and see us whenever they want"

“us?”

He raised a brow “you will live with me, right?”

She smiled and shook her head , he said “yes, you will. My place is very big , I have an extra room since Harry is staying in my room" 

She didn’t talk, Louis took a deep breath “ it is okay to think about what do you want . No one is blaming you, everyone wants to see you happy"

She looked at him and cried again, he wiped her tears and kissed her forehead “ think about it, I know you are confused now but promise me you will think about it" 

She nodded her head and hugged him

****** 

Louis was in his room sending an email when his phone went off, it was unknown number . He picked up 

“Hello “ 

“Tomlinson..it is Paul”

Louis nodded “ hello Paul"

“ hello son, how are you. I am so sorry for your loss, I just know" 

Louis nodded his head and squeezed his eyes with his wrest “ thanks Paul" 

“ I have been trying to call your fiancé for over a week but he doesn’t pick up, it scared me. I didn’t have your number so I called Niall and he told me" 

“ it is okay” 

“is there anything I can do for you?” 

Louis smiled “ thank you Paul, really I appreciate your call"

“If there is anything, don’t hesitate to call me" 

“ I will” 

“So, is Harry with you?”

“he is" 

“Is he okay? Niall said something about the hospital so..how is he?what happened?”

Louis didn’t know if he should say the truth or not , Paul said “ he doesn’t want to talk to me" 

“i don’t think it is true" 

Paul sighed through the phone “ he tried to do it again, right?” 

Louis felt panicked, he didn’t know what to say, Paul said “ he did. I know it, I told him last time if he tried it again he would have to forget about knowing me" 

“PAUL-“ 

“ I didn’t mean it, but what happened? I thought he was doing okay, I thought he was happy with you" 

Louis sighed “ Paul, it is a long story. We will meet and talk"

“ yeah, yeah..I am sorry . It is the wrong time”

“it is really okay, I will make him call you back though" 

“ please, thank you, and again i am sorry for your loss” 

“Thank you" 

*****

Louis found Harry drinking some hot tea alone, he sat beside him “ why alone?” 

Harry looked at him and shrugged “ wasn’t alone.. I don’t know where did they go"

Louis smiled and took the tea from his hand and took a sip

Harry asked “ how did it go with Lottie?” 

Louis sighed “ well.. exactly like i expected.she doesn’t want to leave her sisters and go now" 

Harry nodded “ that’s why you needed to talk to her" 

“I did.. but I don’t think she can decide now" 

“She needs her time" 

Louis nodded then he looked at Harry “ Paul called me" 

Harry tensed for a second then he nodded “Niall?” 

Louis nodded his head “he says you don’t want to pick up his calls" 

“I was busy"

“ you were avoiding him" 

Harry shook his head and didn’t talk 

“ He knows .. you tried to do it again"

Harry snapped his head up to Louis that his nick popped , Louis said “ I didn’t tell him anything. But since you weren’t answering and Niall told him you were in hospital he remembered what he told you last time you did it ..so..do the math" 

Harry jumped from the couch, but Louis jumped too and grasped his hand, Harry looked at him “not now Louis “

“when..Harry you tried to do it twice since I met you.. you are scaring the shit out of me.. of anyone who knows you as a matter of fact" 

Harry shook his head and the tears already formed in his eyes 

Louis sighed “ Harry.. I am scared" 

“Me too"harry said but he was angry “ I am too fucking scared because I found out that I let my life depends on you that the minute I thought I lost you I wanted to end my life" 

Louis was terribly shocked; Harry wiped his tears “I am doing it again.. do you know how i felt when Liam died? When I couldn’t save him, when I caused him to do this. it wasn’t only quilt that I was feeling, I felt my life was taken away from me.. I felt that air left my lungs and didn’t want to come back.. everything. My mind .. my heart..everything was broken.. damaged... and I was only thinking of one thing.. I couldn’t live without him.. I tried ..I struggled .. I even stick system with people because I knew the minute I would be alone I would kill myself. Last week I felt the same" 

Louis walked closer but Harry stepped back , he shook his head “I love you okay, I love you so much.. but this feeling is too much for me to handle..for you to handle. Every time we fight you will believe I want to end my life and I will want that.. “ 

“what are you doing?”

“ I don’t know okay.. I don’t. I know you are mad at me because I called you that night.. I know you are mad because I was weak but I don’t know how to do it, I don’t know" 

Louis took a step closer but Harry didn’t move, Louis took his hand “ we will figure it out"

Harry was still crying “how?” 

Louis shrugged “ we will"

“ i don’t wanna die, I know i am dying but I don’t wanna die. I don’t want to hurt myself anymore and I know I am too week to keep myself from doing it" 

Louis swallowed thickly “ you are not dying"

Harry stopped talking, he wiped his tears and he looked at Louis “ you talked about me to Ben, didn’t you?”

Louis didn’t know what to expect “ I did" 

Harry nodded, he took his hand from Louis but Louis hugged him “ don’t get mad please. I just.. I don’t wanna lose you too" 

Harry hugged him back “ okay" 

“ okay?” then he pulled away and looked at him “ what do you mean?” 

“ We will hear what he has to say about my case, but I won’t do any surgeries” 

Louis had to nod, because that was a start. And it was more than enough


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone

Home sweet home" Louis said closing the door behind him, Harry took off his jacket and took Louis and hanged them on the closet beside the door. He was too quiet and barely talking. 

He moved to the kitchen and Louis was watching him, he was going to ask but his phone stopped him, it was Ben.

“ yes Ben" 

“ I found his file" Ben said, just like this without even hello , and Louis knew it as serious “and?” he asked anxiously 

“it is bad, Louis i need to see him i need to know how he had reached. His heart is very weak and he needed the surgery years ago not just recently “

Louis sighed and didn’t talk, Ben sensed how worried he became “ listen, we still can save him it just need to be urgent" 

Louis nodded his head although Ben couldn’t see him “ I will see about it"

“ sooner is the better”

“Alright”and he ended the call.

Louis took a deep breath, he tried his best not to panic, he tried to calm himself down and then he entered the kitchen and he froze. Because he remembered what exactly happened last time he was there, he remembered seeing Harry falling and fainting and then he remembered Ben words

“Lou?” Harry snapped him out of his thoughts 

“ are you okay?” Harry asked 

Louis looked at him and Harry was looking at him with huge concern, Louis gave a fake smile and nodded his head 

“ the boys sent me, they are coming. Is this okay?”Harry asked 

Louis nodded , he knew they were coming to give him their condolences. 

Harry take his hand and sat him in the chair , he sat in front of him “ they are for your mom" 

Louis again nodded “ I know Harry" then he rubbed his face “ i am sure they are upset cause I asked them not to come..it just i wasn’t ready.. “ 

Harry nodded softly “ they understand.. are you ready now?” 

Louis looked at him and he just cried, Harry thought he was crying because of his mom which was partly true but he was also crying because he was scared, he was panicking that he might lose Harry and he couldn’t adjust the idea.

Harry wrapped him between his arms and he kissed his hair “ it is okay" he whispered “ it will be okay" 

Louis hugged Harry tightly, he wanted to make sure Harry was here with him, he wanted the time to froze because right now he was feeling a bad feeling, he was feeling that Harry was going to leave.

***** 

Harry was making some tea, Zayn and Niall were at the living with Louis. He was better and he was talking freely. It was hard at the start Niall cried a little and Zayn didn’t talk, but he didn’t leave Louis ‘ side . His phone went off and he answered without seeing who was calling 

“hello" 

“ I am gonna fucking kill you Harry Styles" then the phone turned dead.

Harry was shocked at the start, then he looked again at the phone. He put it down and his mind was frozen, he didn’t know what was that. But he knew the voice 

“Harry, where is the tea" Niall entered the kitchen 

Harry looked at him “ I am coming, sorry" 

Niall looked at him “ everything okay?”

Harry nodded, but Niall walked closer “ how do you feel? Like really?” 

Harry took a deep breath “ i am sorry about what I did. I am.. it was just complicated “

Niall nodded “ you fixed everything with louis i see" 

Harry smiled and nodded “ yeah, I guess we are okay"

“ then where is the ring?” 

Harry looked at his finger and shrugged “ I said it was complicated, it is still complicated but.. I am going to fix it" 

Niall looked at him shocked, then he smiled and patted his shoulder and Harry knew why, making an effort to make this relation work made Niall relieved, it was new even for Harry, after Liam he didn’t even thought to be in any relationship, now he wanted to make this relationship work . He was too worried and Harry could know why. 

***** 

Harry was lying on the bed, Louis was brushing his teeth and Harry’s mind was still with that phone call. Louis came and sat beside him, he kissed him on the cheek and said “ what is in your mind?” 

Harry looked at him “ nothing, Sam wants to talk to you, I told him to call you tomorrow “ 

Louis nodded “ it is okay, how is he?”

“ he says he is coming next week" 

“ and you don’t believe him" 

Harry shook his head “ no, it’s.. I know he is trying to fix us.. I mean he always was trying to.. I mean.. before we weren’t that close but I felt protected to have him in my life and I loved that feeling.. I missed that feeling" 

Louis nodded “ and you are scared to feel that again" 

Harry shrugged, Louis looked at him “ but this time he is not leaving, I mean.. ever since last time and he has been calling right?” 

Harry nodded then he said “ I called him..that night” 

And louis gasped internally because he wasn’t ready to talk about that night 

Harry sighed “ after I called you, i need another reason.. I mean.. I don’t know why but I called him, and his son answered .. he knows me Louis, his son knows me and he was talking like we were friends..like I was his real uncle..” he wasn’t crying but his tears was falling “ and I loved that. I want that. I want to have family, nephews and niece, I love when Doris calls me brother and when Ernest asks me to draw with him, and inwant to meet my brother's kids" 

Louis was listening, he smiled and he kissed his hand “ then we will make it happen, you will get to know them" 

Harry sighed “ just can’t afford a ticket plan" 

“About that"

“ Louis. I am not atk8ng your money” 

“who said anything about giving you money" 

Harry looked at him and raised a brow, Louis said “ I showed my boss couple of your photos you took in the wedding and he adored him” 

Harry was looking at him with big eyes, Louis said “ I wanted to tell you before but .. you know what happened. So my boss wants to see you and interview you" 

“ he does?” Harry asked but a smile started to form on his face 

Louis shrugged “ it’s not like it is necessary, I am sure he will hire you once he sees you but it’s the routine" 

Harry looked down , he shook his head “I will have a job” 

Louis was watching him “ you are having a job"

Harry raised his head up and shook his head “not like this.. this is a whole different thing. This is" then he covered his eyes 

“don’t you dare cry" 

Harry shook his head but he cried, Louis sighed “why now Harry?” 

Harry looked at him and wiped his tears “ i don’t know what to do" 

Louis smiled and touched Harry’s nose “ be happy" 

Harry again shook his head “ I don’t know how" 

“How what curly" 

“I don’t know how to be happy” 

Louis giggled “ oh come on" but he looked again at Harry but Harry looked serious 

Harry said “ everything is always wrong, it is like I am not supposed to be happy.. like It is not meant for me to be happy" 

“ please don’t say that” then he hugged Harry “I promise you from now on, everything will be okay, you will be Happy as long as I am here" 

Harry then pulled away and looked at Louis’s eyes “then promise me"

Louis nodded “ I will always be here Harry, I will" 

***** 

Harry was alone in the kitchen, Louis just left the house to work. 

He was on the phone pacing the kitchen pulling his hair “you should have told me Adam , I should have known that. He is out and he is threatening me"

Adam the cope said through the phone “Harry, calm down. He is not out, he is still under the trial"

“he is free" Harry yelled “you promised me, you said he will be in jail forever.. now he is out and he is after me, last week he called and now he is sending me threats"

“ don’t worry, be can’t touch you Harry”

“how?”

“because if he did, then it will be him"

Harry shook his head “ you don’t know Jackson" 

“Harry, trust me"

“I will tell Louis" Harry said, Adam said hastily” don’t “

“I can’t keep it away from him, what if he hurt him Adam?”

Adam sighed “do you want me to put protection 24/7” 

Harry froze “what?”

“Cause I can.. if that what you want then I can. But don’t tell your boyfriend, you will only freak him out"

Harry sighed “ I will think about the protection. But if something happened to Louis I swear to God-"

“Nothing will happen to him, now calm down.. go to work. I will keep my eyes on you , both of you. Now go"

Harry ended the call, and then he looked again at the text he received this morning 

“I will kill you" 

****

“ Harry can I ask you something?” Louis asked when they were having their late dinner one day 

Harry looked at him and nodded , his heart was racing because he was hiding about the threats for two weeks now 

“You are not sleeping again" Louis said

Harry swallowed thickly “ i don’t want to go back to the sleeping pills" 

“Me neither, but I have been thinking" then he left the table and opened one of the kitchen drawers and took some papers, he put them in front of Harry . They were names and numbers 

“what are those?” Harry asked 

“ those are numbers of some doctors..” 

“ Therapists?”

Louis was watching Harry’s face, he was waiting for more, for a fight, and he was ready, he got all the answers and all the ways to convince Harry 

“Who do you think is the best?” 

Louis froze for a second “what?” 

Harry was still looking at the paper, Louis said “ you mean you are willing to go?” 

Harry looked at him and sighed “ not really, but I want to be okay” 

Louis exhaled in a huge relief “ yes baby, I want you okay too" 

“ will you come with me?” 

Louis nodded and smiled widely “ of course I will" 

Harry then nodded but was embarrassed with chocked voice “ thank you Louis” 

Louis shook his head but he was really grateful, Harry said “ I mean my interview is tomorrow and I really want to nail it, you know? I want to be okay and I want to make you proud”

Louis’s smile dropped “ are you fucking kidding me now? I am more than proud of you Harry, you are the strongest man I have ever seen" 

Harry smiled “ I really want not to let you down" 

Louis took his hand “ you won’t.. I know you won’t “ 

And right at this moment Harry wanted to tell him about the threats, but he couldn’t take Louis’s panic, he wouldn’t forget himself for putting him in all this panic. 

*******

The interview went well, Harry was sure he did well, Louis knew he did well, his boss told him he did well. So they decided to celebrate.

They all were there, Harry, Louis Zayn and Niall, Sam was coming tomorrow and Harry was more than Happy. Adam told him he fixed everything and there was no need to worry. No need at all.

Louis was talking to Zayn when Niall and Harry came to the table with drinks, Harry was going to drink.

Louis looked at the drink in Harry’s hand “ are you drinking that?”

“I want to celebrate” he sat beside him.

Louis shook his head “ no you don’t. We will celebrate but not this way" 

Harry then huffed “ what way then? I just got a job Louis, not any job.. a decent one, where I can finally breath, and I will work with you, so no..I will drink" 

He was going to take the glass but again Louis pushed it away “ no..”

Then he took Harry’s hand and he looked at it 

“ there is something missing"

Harry looked at his hand too “ now, you are drunk. What did I lose a finger?” 

Louis rolled his eyes “no, but you miss this" he then put a ring in Harry’s hand.

Harry looked at his hand, Louis smiled “yeah, that’s better" 

NIALL said “definitely” 

And Zayn said “ yeah, definitely “

Harry giggled and looked back at Louis “ are you sure?” 

Louis frowned “ sure? Are you kidding me? I am more than sure baby” 

Harry sighed , Louis “ I wanted to make it huge proposal and everything, but trust me I can hardly keep myself “ 

Harry giggled “ tonight is perfect" 

Louis nodded and then he kissed Harry, Harry kissed him back while Niall yelled “ get a room" 

******* 

Harry and Louis were in Louis’s car, Harry was still staring at the ring , Louis parked the car and said 

“Tell me what’s in your mind?”

Harry sighed and looked at him “ can my life get any better?” 

Louis smiled and nodded “ yes it can, and you will see"

Harry shook his head “ I feel my heart can’t take it" 

Louis only smiled at that, he still didn’t talk the surgery. And he decided he wouldn’t ruin the night so he smiled and said “ alright, let’s go" 

Harry nodded he opened the door and so did Louis, they were walking towards their building when someone called Harry’s name.

Harry turned so did Louis, it happened too fast, Louis first heard a sound, he didn’t recognised it, but he could recognize the gun in the man's hand. Then the man said “ I said I will kill you" 

Louis didn’t understand, he looked at Harry but Harry was looking down, he was frozen then Louis saw something, he saw there was a red spot in Harry’s chest and that spot was getting bigger and bigger, then Harry looked at Louis and collapsed on the ground, Louis caught him and he looked again at Harry’s chest, he put his hand on it and he knew want was this. That was blood .

And Harry was shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will start with the happy ending 
> 
> So the next chapter is the happy ending and it will be the last one .
> 
> Hope you enjoyed


	38. Chapter 38

Every single atom in Louis was shaking, his whole body was shaking and for the first time he couldn’t control it. He didn’t feel anything and also didn’t feel numb, his mind was still with that moment when Harry was taking from his arms into the ambulance, Louis fought hard to be with him, and finally they let him and he wished he wasn’t there. Harry flat-lined there and they had to revive him in front of Louis’s eyes.

Harry can’t be dead, he kept reminding himself over and over again. Harry had survived his step-dad attack, his several suicides attempts, so no he wasn’t going to die because of stupid bullet penetrated his chest. 

Louis was crying too, his years hadn’t stop falling ever since they took Harry to the operation room and that nurse accompanied Louis to the waiting area. He collapsed on the chair and he made couple of hysteric phone calls, he called Zayn, he called Sam, he called Ben.

Who could hurt Harry? He kept asking himself that question since he sat there, why someone would want to kill Harry and he found no answer. 

Why? Why was that happening to Harry. He just kept remembering his last words about being happy, about his heart couldn’t take all the happiness. He said he wasn’t meant to be happy and he was right, being shot is not a part from being happy, was it?

“louis" he head Zayn’s voice first, he raised his head and he saw him running towards him, face covered with concerns and tears.

“ what happened?” he said and Louis just hugged him and didn’t talk, he cried, actually he sobbed so hard that his whole body was shaking severely .

Zayn pulled away and asked again “what happened?”

Louis shook his head “I don’t..I don’t know.. I.. he was shot.. I don’t know"

“was shot?how?why?”

“I don’t know Zayn” he yelled “I don’t fucking know" 

Zayn nodded as trying to calm Louis down “alright, alright.. is he at the surgery?”

Louis nodded his head and wiped his tears , zayn “ no one showed to reassure you?”

Louis shook his head “I have no idea what is happening, I don’t know.. I...Zayn he died” 

Zayn’s blood drained from his face “ what?”

“ at the ambulance his heart stopped.. fuck his heart needs a surgery and now this.” He shook his head “ he is not gonna make it"

“He is" but it wasn’t Zayn, it was Ben , he was walking towards them, he stopped in front of Louis and hugged him “he is alive, he will be okay i talked to the doctors here.. but he needs a critical surgery louis"

Louis looked at Ben and he said “what do you mean?”

Ben looked at Louis’ eyes to make sure he got him “he needs his surgery now.. and we need a family consent” 

“consent of what?” Louis asked, while Zayn looked down he got it.

Louis looked between Ben and Zayn “ just don’t understand “ 

“It means, he might not get out if the surgery alive Louis. We need a family member's consent, if he was conscious then it would be his decision but since he is not.. we must have a family member consent"

“oh my God" Louis gasped

Ben hastily said “ it doesn’t mean he is going to die, it means there 50/50 chance. His case was already critical and now with the amount of blood he lost and the bullet had damaged his lungs.. he needs the surgery now" 

Louis shook his head “ I don’t understand what do you want me to do?” 

“ I want you to get me his family”

Zayn said “ he doesn’t have a family” but Louis said “ Sam.. Sam is coming.. his flight will land at night" 

“He doesn’t have that time" 

Louis looked at him with dread in his eyes “what can I do , he is on plan. I can’t reach him"

“fine me another one" 

“ he is all he got" 

“you are his fiancé “

And louis gasped , Ben saw all the panic and he said “ listen to me, you are his only chance, sign the paper and let me save him" 

Louis shook his head “no"

“ he doesn’t have till night Louis. If I didn’t interfere now .. he will be dead by then"

Louis shook his head again butting his lower lip to suppress his screams 

Ben said again “ trust me in this"

“he might die" 

“and he might survive. But if he didn’t do it now. He will die" 

Louis covered his face “please, please don’t make me do this, take all the money you want but don’t ask me this, don’t make me responsible of this decision” 

Ben looked down, he then looked at Zayn who was also crying then he looked back at Louis “ I am gonna scrub, sign the paper Louis” and then he walked away.

Louis hastily looked at Zayn, Zayn shook his head “ it is the only way"

Louis shook his head again and he collapsed on the chair behind him. Zayn sat next to him “I know it is hard, but you are his only hope like the doctor said”

Louis again shook his head “ I can’t do this" he looked at Zayn “I can’t Zayn, I can’t be responsible for this..no i can’t “ 

“You need to focus Louis. You are his only chance" 

“No"

“he will die" Zayn begged 

Louis again shook his head “ he might die there on the table" 

“then we did everything, there would be nothing to blame" 

Louis again looked at him with tears in his eyes “ I just lost my mom.. I can’t lose him"

Zayn swallowed his tears and nodded , Louis “ you are asking me to sign my fiancé death, you want me to know that he could die there and still ask me to approve this Zayn.. I can’t “ 

Zayn wiped his tears “you have to “he said sternly 

“Would you do this? If you were in my place. If you were his fiancé.. would you do this?” Louis asked Zayn in the eye. Zayn didn’t answer and he moved his eyes down.

Louis sighed and stood up”i am gonna use the loo"

******

When Louis entered the bathroom, he didn’t expect to see Liam’s father there, he was the last one on the planet he needed to see. At the start Liam’s father didn’t see him, but Louis opened the faucet and washed his face, he wanted a moment for himself, a moment to think clearly. Then Liam’s father tossed the kleenex in the trash and walked down the bathroom. Louis gave a relieved sigh but he cried. 

He cried, and cried, and cried. Cause Liam’s father was one of people who wanted Harry to die. And now when this man found out he would be happy.

Louis sobbed and collapsed on the floor, he didn’t know what to do, he wasn’t ready for that, he was ready for life filled with happiness. Harry was finally happy, was just celebrating having a new job.

“are you okay son?” a man asked, then Louis felt someone sat in front of him on the ground.

Louis looked at the man, Liam’s dad was looking concerned at him, alright he didn’t recognise him.

Louis shook his head “ I am sorry.. I am.. I have to go" 

“what is going in with you?” the man asked 

Louis cried again “ i .. I have to make a huge decision regarding my fiancé” 

The man stared at Louis for few seconds, then he nodded and he rested his back beside Louis on the wall 

“ that critical?” 

Louis nodded “ he was shot by a stranger” 

The man nodded and looked in front again “what are the options?”

“ do the surgery and he might die, or don’t and he will die.. they need my consent" 

The man took a deep breath “ do it" 

“ he might die" 

The man looked at Louis “ if he doesn’t he will die. You might still can save him" 

Louis looked at the floor, the man sighed “ I known it is hard, but sometimes we need to make hard decisions against our will, and we have to take responsibility “ 

“have you?”Louis asked 

The man looked at him “ I am 57, I have made a lot of hard decisions”Louis nodded, the man looked in front again “but the hardest was take my sun off the life support , I was the one yo give the final word”

Louis didn’t know that, but he also didn’t know what to say “ I am sorry"

The man tears fell , he nodded “ me and him weren’t good, I mean.. I pushed him away, I refused to believe that he was gay.. and I tried my best to fight him, I was only trying to make him come back" he shrugged “ I was wrong, now I know. I made his life and his boyfriend’s life miserable. I made his boyfriend’s life hell.. I made sure that they can’t live together, but no matter I did, their live was growing and growing, till one day .. I asked my son to choose. Me or him"

Louis was listening, he already knew the story but he never expected to hear it from that side 

“ my son .. Liam , he left me and chose him, but that night I saw something in his eyes. It was like he already knew that I will regret it forever, his eyes begged me not to make him choose, but I was arrogant . I was stupid. Two months later he tried to end his life. He didn’t even call me to say goodbye. He called his boyfriend who rushed to him and it was too late” he wiped his tears 

“ he didn’t leave his side, for fifteen days he didn’t although I made his life a complete hill, I blamed him day and night instead of blaming myself. That night when I made that decision..I called his boyfriend I told him to come cause Liam was waking up, and once he was here in the room filled with hope.. I cut the life support. And I didn’t even look at my son .. I was looking at his boyfriend screaming, begging, crying to stop. I wanted to punish him, to make him believe that it was his fault. My son died and his boyfriend passed out.. and then I left the room. And I regret every second” 

Louis was in a huge shock, then the man looked at Louis “ and I need him to forgive me. If Liam is not alive, Harry is still alive. So sign the paper so I can apologise while he hears me, I want to find peace..” then he cried .

Louis cried too 

The man wiped his tears “ I never hated Harry, I hated myself and I just wanted to blame someone else of my son's death" 

Louis swallowed thickly “ it wasn’t your fault “ 

The man shook his head slowly “ oh yes it was, I led to this. And I couldn’t save my son. So I am begging you to try and save Harry, nit become me.. because he deserves to hear my apology. He deserves to live” 

Louis looked down again “ I am too scared” 

The old man nodded “ I was scared too, but you are not losing him , you are saving him" then he stood up and looked at Louis “ I never hated him, I just want you to know”

And with that he left Louis alone in the bathroom.

***** 

Louis sighed the application, his hand was trembling so hard and his vision was blurred that he almost missed what he aas writing, but he did it.

The nurse took it and he was guided to wait 8n another waiting room. Niall was ow there, Paul, and Gigi.

Louis was only staring at clock hanging on the wall opposite of him, it was like it meant to torture people. Ben told him it would take long and he promised he would send someone to reassure him whenever he could.

Louis was too exhausted, his head felt heavy and his eyes were shutting down. Then he felt a hand on his thigh 

“louis" 

He snapped his head up because that voice belonged to Lottie. 

She was really there smiling at him softly and he was dreaming.

Then she hugged him so soft and patted his back, then he saw Dan and it was when he knew he wasn’t dreaming, they were here.

Dan hugged him too and squeezed his shoulder “stay strong" 

Louis nodded and Lottie asked “ anything?”

He shook his head, and looked at Dan “how did you know?” 

Dan smiled “ Ben called me, he told me" 

Of course Ben did. 

Dan then shook hands with everyone was sitting there and he took his place and sat, lottie sat beside her brother and she took his hand and squeezed “ he will be fine"

Louis only nodded because that exactly what he wanted to believe. 

Harry spent five hours and forty five minutes in the surgery. When he left the OR it was almost midnight. Everyone was tired and sleepy when Ben showed at the middle of the room.

Louis ran to him and Ben sighed first and said “ he is alive stable and alive" 

Louis gave the breath he was holding, he wanted to jump like Niall and he wanted to hug Lottie like Zayn did with gigi, but he just looked at Ben “ tell me everything “ 

Ben smiled and squeezed his shoulder “ he is alive Louis, he is in intensive care though and he will be there for couple of night till we make sure he is stable. Give your heart a break and breath. You saved his life louis" 

Louis looked around him, he saved Harry, he saved his life Harry didn’t die 

“Louis..tell me" Sam was finally here, he was looking at Louis with panicked eyes.

Louis walked and then he hugged Sam, Sam pulled away and looked at him “tell me" 

Louis nodded his head “ he is okay, he is okay" 

******* 

Louis couldn’t see Harry, they put him in the intensive care and told him it was the best for everyone not to see him at that night, Louis begged Ben for just few minutes but Ben promised first thing in the morning. 

Louis was convinced to leave, he was very very exhausted and they were worried about him, Dan and Sam convinced him and Sam promised not to leave the hospital. It didn’t feel right for Louis but when he saw Lottie pleading and crying, he had to approve.

So, first thing in the morning he wake up very early, he didn’t put a thing in his mouth and he went to Harry.

Zayn was there, Zayn didn’t leave he couldn’t, once Louis saw the black bags under his eyes, he knew Zayn didn’t leave. 

“have you seen him?”Louis asked 

Zayn shook his head “but Sam did, for few minutes"

Louis felt angry internally, he felt betrayed, he should be the first one to see Harry and Zayn didn’t leave? He felt betrayed of course.

Louis walked to Sam, he was sitting beside the room, so Louis sat beside him 

“how is he?”

Sam looked at him and shrugged “ bad" 

Louis didn’t want to look scared but he was 

“I wasn’t there last time. When my father..” he stopped himself and he looked down “ I knew about it months later. And I tried to find him. I got a friend his name was Dean.. he told me about it , he told me Harry looked sacred and anxious, he told me he looked like shit and later i found out that the minute he opened his eyes , dad threatened him. And I wasn’t there” he then looked at Louis “I want to be there this time, when he opens his eyes I want to be there too, to reassure him" 

Louis swallowed his tears and nodded .

He then stood up when he saw Ben walking to him, ben smiled softly at him “ good morning, I know you will be this early" 

“ I want to see him now" 

Ben nodded and before he opened the door, he looked at Louis “ he is under ventilator Louis, he can’t breath by his own. We expect to move it tomorrow and maybe he will wake up tomorrow at night”

“Maybe?” 

Ben sighed “ he still didn’t pass the danger Louis. But he is strong" 

Louis looked down, then Ben said “I will give you five minutes" and he opened the door and literally pulled Louis inside and closed the door.

Louis looked in front of him, Harry was on the bed looking too small or the bed was too big for him, louis just wanted to lie beside him, he wanted to touch him and breath him, he missed his warmth. 

He took slow steps and he sat very slowly beside Harry on the chair, he was too scared to wake him up. He swallowed thickly and he looked at Harry’s face, he didn’t like the huge tube that came out of his mouth, he looked at the wires that were connected to his body, the sound of the ventilator was too loud and it scared Louis.

Louis kissed harry on his hand and then he looked at his face and he stopped thinking . It was like his mind was numb, he couldn’t think of anything, he couldn’t talk, he just stared at Harry the whole five minutes. When Ben entered the room Louis didn’t feel him till he put his hand on his shoulder, Louis flinched and looked at Ben. He looked back at Harry and said “ tell me he will wake up again" 

Ben nodded “ he will, now let’s go, he needs rest”

******

When Louis walked out the room, he leaned on the wall to breath, he promised himself never again, he would never see Harry this way again.

“Louis” Zayn said, Louis raised his head and Zayn wasn’t alone ,beside him was a man , Zayn said “officer Adam cliflan wants to talk to you” 

Louis frowned because he heard that name before, the man walked forward and shook hand with Louis “ I am so sorry about Harry" 

And louis remembered, he was the one Harry talked about, the officer, Liam’s friend, the one who Harry asked for her regarding his old boss.

And suddenly everything made sense.

*******

“ threats?” Louis gasped, the four men were sitting on the cafe table at the hospital cafeteria. 

Adam nodded his head “ he wanted to tell you, I advised him not to, I thought there was no need to panic"

Louis jumped in his feet hyperventilating “no need to panic? He was shot.. right in front of our house, in the street.. what kind of protection you put"

Adam sighed “I put protection at his work, at your work because those places Jackson knew. But he had no idea where you lived"

“ well that’s so easy, he could ask"

“and no one would help. Ever since the shooting and I have been asking all around who could possibly tell him” Adam sighed, he understood how furious Louis was 

“We got Jackson. He told us a guy named Nick Grimshaw was the one who told him Harry’s place"

Louis froze, he really did , then he collapsed on the chair “Nick?” 

Adam nodded “ Harry told me about him years ago, i thought he was over with but I was wrong and I am terribly sorry , if I knew .. if I had any idea that this could happen" he shook his head in guilt “i never wanted to hurt Harry, he means a lot to me, and I can’t forgive myself" 

Sam finally snapped “well, that’s not enough, he is lying there struggling to be alive and it’s all your fault . You gave him a word and you failed him, like we all did" and he left the table and walked away. 

Zayn sighed “ I will talk to him" 

Adam then looked at Louis “ I deserve this" 

Louis was staring down at the table, how could Nick do this to him. 

“NICK grimshaw.. Will he be accused?”

Adam shook his head “ why? He only gave a piece of info he didn’t know Jackson will use it this way. But how did Grimshaw knew where did Harry live?” 

Louis kept his mouth shut, officer Cliflan stood up “ I will come again to see him" he stretched his hand for Louis “ I am really sorry" 

And then he walked away.

********

Louis spent the whole day with Harry in the hospital, although he couldn’t see him again but he didn’t leave. He couldn’t. He wanted to be there when Harry wake up.

He was waiting outside the room when they removed the ventilator, he was there when they transferred him to his room. And he stayed there waiting for Harry to wake up.

“ you need some rest" Niall said giving Louis his coffee 

Louis adjust his sitting on the couch and took the coffee, he looked at Harry sleeping on the bed and didn’t talk 

“you smell, go have a shower, sleep a little and come back”

Louis shook his head , Naill sighed “Ben said he is not waking up tonight, please don’t make me drug you and carry you unconscious home" 

Louis looked at him with a raised brow “ you won’t do that “

Niall shrugged “ you don’t know me”

Louis smiled “ you won’t “ 

“alright I won’t, but you still need to have some rest, eat something and come back, please “

“I can’t leave him Niall" 

“ why would you leave him? No one says you will, just go home for few hours" 

Louis sighed and rubbed his face, Niall said “ you are tired, I promise you i will stay here and won’t leave my side till you come, and if he opens his eyes I will tell him to sleep till you come"

“ Hay Don’t do that"

Naill smiled “ then go home , please “

Louis looked again at Harry, he did need some rest, some food to get energy and some sleep. Finally he nodded his head and he stood up put the coffee on the table. 

“ don’t leave his side” 

Niall shook his head “not gonna happen" 

****** 

Louis was in his home, he ate and showered, and he decided to sleep for two hours. He wake up startled at the door bell. He knew Lottie was there and she would open the door but once he opened his eyes he couldn’t close it.

He left his bedroom and walked to the front door 

“yes it is” he heard Lottie saying “ I am afraid he is not here at the moment... okay, thank you” then she closed the door.

Louis walked to her and he saw two big wrapped things. 

Lottie looked at him and said “ the delivery man said Harry ordered them"

Louis nodded and looked again at them, then she said “ what are those?”

Louis walked closer “ let’s find out"

Together they removed the wraps and they both were frozen. They were two frames of two photographs Harry took during the wedding.

The family photo 

And a beautiful photo of Jay with Louis.

Louis was staring at them, he heard Lottie sniffed beside him and she said “ they are amazing" 

Louis looked down and he stormed inside he room, he changed his clothes and ran outside his house ignoring Lottie’s calls.

******

Louis was panging at a door, his was furious and he couldn’t keep calm. The door was opened and Nick showed

He looked shocked “ Louis”

Louis punched him on the face .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the last chapter but the next one is , thanks


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The happy ending you were asking for ,happy new year everyone.
> 
> I will post the other end next week

Nick felled on the ground behind him, he put his hand on his opened lips and looked at Louis with big eyes, he didn’t ask any question, he just stared at Louis 

And louis then froze and asked terribly shocked “you knew?”

Nick shook his head and stood up “i am so sorry" , he walked a step closer 

Louis shook his head and stepped back “oh my God"

Nick stopped he put his hand down “I didn’t know he was going to shoot him" 

Louis started to get angry “ what did you think he was going to do?beat the shit out of him again?” 

Nick nodded, but he looked terribly sad and maybe guilty “ Louis, I know I am a bad person , I know i hurt you before"

“You keep fucking hurting me Nick, he shot him, he is dying there.. just why? Why do you hate him this much?” 

Nick shook his head “ it is not about him, it’s you"

“No, no , no ,no ... you can’t do this to me, you can’t make me feel like this.. so it’s my fault that my fiancé is struggling to stay alive" 

“ I didn’t mean it like this. Louis..”

“I wanted to forget you, i tried and I tried.. you don’t know how you made me feel about my self, how insecure I became. I thought I wasn’t enough.. I will never be enough for anyone and I don’t deserve to be loved. All these years I was trying to forget what you did to me.. and finally I could.. Harry helped me too. And then you came and destroyed it..”

Nick swallowed and Louis saw his tears falling “i didn’t know, I swear Louis i didn’t know he was going to hurt him this way" 

Louis yelled “ but he did, and now he is lying there unable to breath by his own"

Nick didn’t talk, he looked down and didn’t talk 

“ the police asked me about you"Nick snapped his head up “I didn’t say anything.. i didn’t say what was happening between you and Harry" 

Nick opened his mouth to talk but Louis said “ I didn’t say because I needed to know first. I need to know why”

Nick looked down again but Louis yelled louder “ answer me" 

Nick flinched but he nodded his head, he took a deep breath and said “ when I saw you back home with him, I felt so angry. Nit because I knew who he was the minute I saw him, a good looking man like Harry is impossible to forget.. but I felt jealous. You looked happy... sincerely happy. I have been asking about you and even time they told me you were still alone I was satisfied.. you were there waiting for me. But when I saw him with you I wasn’t satisfied and I wanted you back. I tried but you wasn’t listening so after the wedding and when I found out that you were still together I had to do some dirty work” 

“ you called his boss" 

Nick nodded “ he never stole me. He never did it. I wanted him so much.. just for one night , and j knew he wasn’t for this he was only a bartender and he wasn’t interested in sleeping for money. I trapped him and offered money. A lot of money I was drunk and we were having rights daily. He refused ..so I called Jackson and told him about the money"

Louis closed his eyes and looked down, he knew the story 

Nick was watching Louis “ I guess you know the rest, he asked Harry and Harry denied and I was sure Harry didn’t have this much of money.. Jackson beat the shit out of him and fired him and he have me the money.”

“The money that was never stolen from you" 

Nick nodded ashamed , he shrugged “ I called Jackson again and I told him I found Harry , I knew what Harry’s ex did to Jackson and I knew Jackson wanted a revenge. Obviously Jackson didn’t know that the ex was dead and he connected Harry again for the money he believed he owned him. I didn’t know what Harry did, I didn’t know he called that cop and sat him up, so when he called me asking for the address I thought it was because of the money.. I thought he did already reached him and I was so fucking angry so I gave him the address and I asked him to just threaten him, I thought he was going to ask Harry again for money and again you will find out he was still seeing Jackson and finally believe he wasn’t the man for you"

Louis shook his head “ I can’t believe how evil you are" 

“I didn’t know.. please Louis please. If the cops knows then I will be a part of this" 

Louis looked at Nick “ they will know.. you need to pay for what you did"

“I never meant to hurt him Louis . please . I just wanted you to believe he was cheating nothing else. I didn’t know" 

Louis was watching Nick ,he looked down cause after all he knew Nick and he knew how guilty he was feeling “ 

“If he dies.. you will be in jail “ then he walked out of the house and slammed the door after him.

******* 

“ he is awake" Sam told Louis on the phone. Louis just left the hospital for few hours rest. He had just arrived home. Once he heard those words he ran back again to his car and drove back to hospital. 

He was going to open the door but Ben came out of the room, he saw him and he smiled but he pushed him softly away from the room 

“Sam told me he is awake"

Ben nodded “ he is. But I need you to know few things before you enter" Louis nodded , Ben said “ he is still weak, so weak.. I Don’t want you to stress him, or to exhaust him. Just few words. He wouldn’t wake up for long maybe fifteen minutes maximum but he is okay Louis. He is fine" 

Louis just hugged Ben. He didn’t talk, he just hugged him.

Louis entered the room, Harry was lying in the bed , slowly he moved his head and looked at Louis. He smiled 

Louis rushed to him and took his hand, Louis was crying he touched Harry’s hair and rubbed it softly “ i missed you" 

Harry smiled again “ don’t cry" he said it weakly but he talked. And when Louis heard his voice he cried again 

“ I am sorry, I am so sorry .. i was just too worried about you love.”

Harry nodded his head but he couldn’t talk, Louis “ are you in pain?” 

“no.. stay" 

Louis nodded “ yeah, I will stay. I will always stay.do you want to sleep?” 

Harry nodded again, Louis kissed his forehead “ then sleep" 

Harry closed his eyes but said “ sleep with me"

Louis was looking at Harry’s face, and it really ached his heart how pale he looked. He looked at his white lips and yellow face and he cried again 

“lou" Harry whispered 

“Okay curly.. I will sleep with you" 

****** 

Louis was in the hospital, he was talking on the phone to his twin sisters , it had been a week since Harry opened his eyes. He was doing good, but he still had a long road in the hospital he wasn’t expected to leave the hospital any time sooner.

He ended the call and was ready to enter the room again when he saw officer Cliflan walking towards him 

“ Mr Tomlinson “ they shook hands. 

Louis asked “ you are here for his deposition" 

Adam nodded his head ‘ i just talked to his doctors and they assured he was much better to talk"

Louis didn’t want that but also he wanted to end this, “ can you give me five, I want to tell him myself 

The officer nodded and Louis entered the room, Harry was sitting on his bed in front of him was San and his twins , Young Harry was sitting in Harry’s lap and they were talking .

Louis smiled at them and Harry noticed him “ here he is uncle Louis. When can you bring Doris and Ernest to play with Harry and Bella?” 

Louis walked closer “at this weekend all the family will be here" Harry smiled at that then Louis said “ officer Cliflan is here, he wants to take your deposition”

Sam looked at Harry and sighed , he stood up “ we were leaving anyway.” He carried his son after Harry gave him a kiss “ bring Bella next time ,I want them both" 

Sam nodded “ will you be okay?”

Harry shrugged “ I don’t have much to say anyway”

Then Sam said “I will come again" he walked and looked at Louis who only gave a slight nod.

Louis then walked and sat by Harry “ if you can’t do it we can-"

“Let’s end it. I am okay. Really “

******* 

Adam entered the room, he looked at Harry and Louis could see how his face changed . He wasn’t alone though, some other officer was with Adam .

“Hello Harry"adam said 

Harry smiled at him, Adam added “ this is officer Specter , he is on your case too" 

Harry smiled at the other officer, then Adam looked at Louis who was sitting beside Harry “Mr Tomlinson, can you give us few minutes"

Louis nodded and was going to stand, but Harry took louis' hand and looked at Adam “ actually, Adam can he stay?”

Louis looked at Harry, then at Adam who only nodded his head and they sat at the two chairs beside Harry’s bed.

“How do you feel Harry?” Adam asked 

“ I am better Adam, thanks"

Then Adam looked at officer Spector “ shall we start" 

The officer nodded, he looked at Harry and asked “ Mr styles.. do you remember what happened that night?” 

Harry looked at his lap and nodded “ yeah I do. I was shot" 

“Have you seen who did it?”

“ I did. Jackson Litt my old boss” 

“So you know MR Jackson?”

“ I do.. I mean I did. I haven’t seen him for years. And again last month when I called Adam.. I mean officer cliflan”

Adam smiled “ Adam is good, I like to think we are friends” 

Harry gave a weak smile but didn’t talk, but Adam said “ so you are accusing MR Litt of shooting you"

Harry nodded his head, Specter asked “ was it the only time he attacked you?”

“No, he attacked me four years ago. When I was still working with him"

“why was that?”

“ I was working as a bartender in a night club. And some customer accused me for stealing money from him" 

“ so Jackson attacked you for that"

“ and then fired me" 

“ did you steal?” Louis snapped his head up to Specter 

Harry looked also at him then at Adam “no, I didn’t “ 

“ Did you report that Harry?” 

Harry shook his head “I didn’t “ 

“why?” 

Harry looked at Adam, Adam said “It is important “

Harry sighed and said “ I was scared that my step father would know where do i live , I ran away and I didn’t want to be found. He had relations and it would be very easy to find me if my name was in any file" 

Specter nodded his head and then Adam asked “who was that customer”

Louis tensed but Harry shrugged “ I don’t remember “

“You don’t remember?” Adam asked frowning 

“ I don’t “

“nick Grimshaw, do you know him?” 

Harry looked at Adam “ I do, he is my fiancé ex” then he looked at Louis 

“ do you have any problems with him?”

Harry looked at Adam and shook his head “ problem? We met few times.”

“Yes or no Harry” Spector talked ,and Louis already hated him.

“no, I have no problems with him"

Adam was staring at Harry “ he told Jackson about where you live" 

Harry shrugged “I don’t know how he did this, maybe he knew Jackson.. I don’t know" Louis looked down, he didn’t know why Harry was protecting Nick 

Adam asked again “are you sure?” 

“ i am” 

Then spector stood up “ that’s is Mr Style, I wish you speed recovery" he was walking to the door when he looked at Adam, Adam said “ give me a minute" 

Spector looked at Harry and then nodded and left the room, Adam looked at Harry “ we are off records now. Why are you protecting Grimshaw?” 

Harry shook his head “ why would I protect him?” 

“ you just did Harry, we both know he is the main reason Jackson found you"

Harry shook his head “ I told you I don’t know how they know each other, I don’t know" he shrugged 

Adam then looked at Louis and sighed. He looked down and then “ i am so sorry Harry I couldn’t protect you"

Harry looked at him “ you did your best “ 

“If I did my best, you wouldn’t be here now. If Nick didn’t tell him you wouldn’t be here now”

Harry only smiled “ good bye Adam"

Adam smiled back “see you later Harry" 

And then he left the room. And there was silence instead.

Finally louis looked at Harry “ why did you do that?” 

Harry shrugged “ did what?”

“ nick?”

Harry sighed “nick didn’t know he was going to shot me. He had good intentions”

“good? He didn’t know Jackson was going to shoot you but he knew he was going to hurt you some how"

Harry looked at Louis “I want this war to end Louis. If me not mentioning Nick will end this war then be it. I want the end" 

Louis sighed “ you didn’t do it for me , did you?”

“for you? How?”

Louis sighed “ i don’t know, you think I still care for him"

Harry raised a brow “ if I think you care for him i would have reported him the minute I opened my eyes" then he smirked 

Louis gave him a soft kiss and looked at his eyes “ I want you home" 

Harry groaned “ I want to go home" then he rested his head on the pillow “I feel good" 

Louis smiled “ I know you are, but I am not letting you out of here until I make so sure you are okay"

“So I you have a word in it and I don’t “

“Of course I do” 

Harry smiled “ I am gonna talk to Niall about it" 

Louis giggled “ not even Niall can make anything about it" 

Then the door was knocked and opened, Liam’s father entered and looked at Harry. Harry raised his head up and looked at Liam’s father , Louis felt him tensed, Louis was restless too, although they had a talk but he didn’t know why he was here and if he was to upset Harry he wouldn’t hesitate to call the cops for him.

“ hello gentlemen" 

Louis left Harry’s side and stood in front of the bed “how can we help you?”

“ can I have a talk with Harry?” the old man asked 

Louis didn’t leave the bed, the man sighed “come on"

Louis didn’t move, but Harry said “it’s okay lou" 

Louis looked back at Harry and then he gave up, he didn’t want to upset Harry and he wished the old man finally give Harry some peace. He kissed Harry’s check and whispered “ I will give you five minutes” then he left the room after glaring at the old man, Dr Payne looked down and once the door was closed he chuckled “ you always get yourself protective boyfriends" 

Harry bit his lower lip, okay he prepared himself for what Dr Payne would say, he did it before and he could do it now, what course could happen?

The old man walked closer and stopped in front of the bed “ I heard you are doing okay" 

Harry didn’t talk, he just looked at him, the old man sighed “ welcome back” 

Harry looked down “ Louis told me you helped him making his decision” 

The old man nodded “I gave him a professional doctor advice. You were going to die if you didn’t do the surgery, and you were possibly were going to die if you did it., any doctor would tell him that"

Harry sighed and closed his eye, he nodded his head 

Dr Payne was watching Harry , he stared at him for few minutes and the silence started to annoy Harry 

“ my son loved you" 

Harry opened his eyes, Doctor Payne added “ I know he did. I mean he chose you, didn’t he?”

Then he took a deep breath and sat on the chair beside Harry “ u know he hated me" 

Harry snapped his head up and said “ never" ,the old man looked at him Harry said “ he never did. Even when you did your best to separate us he never stopped loving you" 

The old man looked down and Harry saw how tensed the man was 

“ he always looked up to you, he just wished that you could understand “ 

The man nodded his head then he covered his eyes, Harry’s heard dropped that it physically hurt “Dr Payne. You never gave me the chance to tell you how sorry I am. I am so so sorry that we lost him this way" his voice cracked “ I tried to leave him, I did , I left him but he always found me.. and i loved him , I lived him so much and I didn’t see it coming, God I wish I did.. I would do everything I could to stop him. I am so sorry, I know how much you hate me for this and you can hate me as much as you can but I need you to know that losing Liam was the hardest thing that happened to me and trust me my life is shit” 

The man was crying, Harry’s tears formed too “I know it was my fault-"

“Wasn’t “ the old man said, he then looked at Harry “ we both know it wasn’t. I wanted do believe it was yours and I know you believed it but it wasn’t... it was mine" 

Harry shook his head, the old man raised his hand to stop him “ I remember that night Harry, when I knew he was dying , when they asked me to cut the life support.” 

Harry looked down and he cried because that night was horrible 

“ I still hear your screams, your pleads . I remember I locked the room so you can’t leave. I remember your cries" Harry sobbed and squeezed his eyes shut 

The old man looked at him “ I am so sorry Harry for doing this to you, I am so sorry that I made you see this" 

Harry looked at him but tears still fell, the man nodded his head “ I wanted to tell you this, I always wanted to tell you this but i always wanted to blame someone else” 

Harry shook his head “ don’t blame yourself" 

The man wiped his tears and nodded his head “ i guess I need to learn this. But I need to hear that you forgave me first" 

Harry was still staring at him “what are you doing?” he whispered and put his hand on his chest, because he couldn’t take it 

The man sat beside Harry on the bed “ I want you to forgive me Harry, please so I can live with myself" 

Harry narrowed his eyes, then he cried again. The man just hugged him so tight, Harry wrapped his hand around him and together they cried, for the first time after two years they grieved Liam together.

********

Louis was in the room with Harry, Harry was sleeping, he was tired ever since he wake up this morning, he looked more pale and more exhausted, he barely talked and he was out of breath. It scared Louis but Ben assured him it was nothing to worry about, he told him he just needed some rest and he would change his meds but that didn’t relieve Louis at all. In fact it scared him even more that he cancelled every visit Harry was expecting. 

Louis was sitting on the chair watching Harry from time to time and scrolling his facebook account , he felt Harry shifting and he looked at him , Harry was looking back with opened eyes 

Louis smiled nervously “Hay baby, how are you now?” 

Harry took a deep breath and smiled “I am better"

Louis nodded , he bug his lower lip and he stared at Harry , Harry frowned “what happened?”

Louis sighed “ you almost passed out this morning, remember?”

Harry frowned and shook his head “what is the wrong?” 

Louis shrugged “ nothing wrong, but obviously you are exhausting yourself.” 

“How? I didn’t even leave the bed, when I tried to go to the bathroom I collapsed midway" 

Louis remembered that, he was with him helping and it was only few steps but Harry couldn’t and he leaned on Louis for a support and he then collapsed on the floor.

“ something is in your mind then" Louis said 

Harry didn’t answer, he closed his eyes 

Louis said “ just know there is something happening between you and Sam” 

Harry shook his head, Louis then sighed “ Harry, your hospital bills have been paid. And extra money was put under your name for emergencies, care you tell me how?”

Harry opened his eyes “ it is my money” 

Louis nodded “okay, how?”

“Sam sold the house" 

Louis frowned “ you mean your house?”

“It wasn’t mine, it was mom and his father, so he split it and split the money”

Louis nodded “and why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“Because you will ask me not to pay my bills"

Louis sighed “ Harry jumped told you I can afford your bills it is nothing” 

Harry didn’t talk, but Louis said “I wanted to help Harry, and I told you pay me back when you can"

“And i can” 

“ you put all your money in this surgery Harry" 

Harry shrugged “ I don’t care, I didn’t need that money anyway. I only took it from Sam for the hospital” 

“Harry.. why would you do this?” 

Harry closed his eyes “ money has always been a problem for me Louis. I want now to feel that I can do something about myself for myself “ 

Louis was watching him “ marry me" 

Harry opened his eyes and looked at him with huge shock, Louis said it again “marry me" 

“ are you trying to stop my heart" he was breathing difficult “because it works" 

Louis put his hand on his, he looked at his eyes “ calm your heart down.” Harry took a deep breath , he squeezed Louis’s hand and then he looked at him “ what did you say?” 

Louis smiled “ I said , marry me. I want you to be my husband. I want us to share everything together. I want us together forever Harry" 

Harry was looking back at him, his eyes turned red and tears formed “are you saying this because I am dying" 

Louis frowned “ you are not dying. You will be just fine" 

Harry didn’t talk, Louis then asked “ Harry, we are already engaged, engaged people usually get married. Why do you look surprised, and why are you crying?”

Harry looked down “I never thought you were serious”

“What does this mean?”

Harry shrugged “I thought you will fed out, and you will break up again. And we will walk in different routs" 

“ please don’t tell me it’s true. HARRY.. I promised I will never leave your side. I promised I will always be here for you. And I am a man who keeps his promises" 

Harry didn’t talk, didn’t raise his head 

“so will you marry me?”

Harry looked at him and he smiled “ are you sure?” 

Louis sighed “ stop asking me that" 

Harry smiled “okay"

“Okay, what,”

“Okay I will marry you"

*******

Harry was so much better, he was ready to leave the hospital, he was in his room on his bed sitting, wearing his shoes. When he sat right he put his hand on his chest and checked his heartbeat. It didn’t hurt, it didn’t raise as he used to. He gave a small smile .he was feeling better.

The door was opened , Harry said “ check out lou" Harry said, he wanted Louis to check his heart beat. Louis didn’t answer so Harry looked and it wasn’t Louis.

It was Nick 

Harry stood up, Nick tried to smile “hi Harry" 

Harry was looking at him “why are you here?” 

Nick walked forward but he saw Harry stepping backward “ i am not here to hurt you" 

Harry nodded “ you are here to kill me then?” 

Nick sighed “ okay, just deserve this" 

“Nick, what do you want?” 

Nick bit his lower lip first then he said “you didn’t report me to the police" 

Harry nodded “ I know that"

Nick walked again closer “ Harry, I didn’t know he was going to shoot you-"

“nick" Harry stopped him “ I don’t believe you Nick and I don’t care, I didn’t do it for you, I did it for Louis”

Nick narrowed his eyes, Harry added “ if I reported you and you got arrested, every time Louis would see the scar will think it is his fault, I was shot because of him, because you were jealous and almost caused me dead.” 

Nick nodded his head, Harry took a step forward “now I need you out of here, out of our lives, because it is too easy to remember the customer who accused me for stealing. It is my word against Jackson’s and it is very easy to change my says" 

Nick was staring at Harry, he was going to leave but Harry said “ nick" 

Nick stopped and looked at him, Harry asked “ why did you do this? Why did you accuse me of stealing?” 

Nick sighed , then he shook his head and said “ do you remember what happened that night?” Harry didn’t talk , nick nodded “ I bet my friends to sleep with you and take some photos, so when you said no.. and you insulted me, I needed to pay back" 

Harry nodded “ does Jackson know?” 

Nick shook his head, Harry nodded “ will you tell him?” 

Nick shrugged “ I don’t know if I can" 

The Louis opened the door and entered, he froze and looked between them “ what is going on?”

Harry looked at Louis “ don’t worry, he is leaving now" 

Nick looked at Harry and then he left.

*******

Six months later, 

Harry was walking in the market, with Louis, they are two months married now and they were inviting everyone for Christmas. It was first Christmas together, first Christmas as a couple, first Christmas without jay.

“Doris lives blueberry, did you bring them?”

Harry smiled and was pushing the cart “ I did"

“Chocolate, did you bring chocolate, girls love chocolate “ 

Harry again nodded and stopped to check some sous “ i did" 

Louis nodded, he rubbed his forehead “okay, what else.. did you bring that potato ? DAN loves the mash potato mom used to make “ 

Harry sighed “relax , would you? I brought everything, you were there writing the list with me" 

Louis sighed and nodded “ you are right, sorry” 

Harry continued pushing the cart “ it will be fine" 

“ are you sure you can make it? It is a lot of work.. your doctor will definitely be against this" 

Harry stopped the car “ my doctor is not against it, I am okay. My heart is okay, Tomorrow will be okay. So please, relax. You are going to make me nervous"

Louis raised his hands up “okay, okay sorry.” 

Harry smiled “ we will be fine. They are gonna live Christmas with us. Don’t worry"

“ have you called Sam?”

Harry nodded “ I did, and Paul too"

“ I called Zayn and Niall.. shall we call Anyone else? I feel we need to call someone else" 

Harry shook his head smiling “ call who ever you want Louis. There will be a lot of food"

“James" Louis suddenly said 

Harry raised a brow “ you want to invite my therapist?”

Louis shrugged “ he once told us he is a lonely guy"

Harry smiled “ yeah, but Don’t you think it will be awkward" 

Louis was already looking for his number “ oh come on he is family, i am actually calling him now..yes hello James.. I am fine thank you, yeah Harry is fine.. I am calling to see if you have any arrangement for Christmas night?”then he smiled widely “ okay, you are invited. Harry is cooking, any special request.. okay i will bye" 

Then he looked at Louis “see, he accepted”

Harry was giggling “ are you gonna be like this till Christmas eve?”

Louis shrugged “ like what? I am Just excited” 

“exactly “

Louis shook his head “ just think who else" 

“Louis Tomlinson?” 

Harry and Louis tuned to see 

“oli?” Louis asked 

Oli walked to him with a smile “ how are you ? Long time no see"

Louis nodded “how are you oli?”

Oli shrugged “ I moved in here. Yeah doing great. Hello Harry" 

Harry smiled and greeted silently 

“where is Stan?”

“ He is home. You know Christmas" 

“will you spend Christmas here then?” , oli nodded “yeah.. I guess I will”

Louis looked at Harry with opened mouth , Harry nodded for him , louis looked back at Oli “ what if you come?” 

Oli looked between them “ come?”

“we are having Christmas at ours, Harry is cooking"

Oli smiled and then looked at Harry “ is that okay?” 

“ of course it is" 

Oli rubbed his back head “ I mean i was a dick" 

Harry smiled “ well, that was in the past, we will what for you, Louis will send you the location “

Oli nodded his head “ yeah, yeah that would be perfect"

Harry pushed the car again and Louis followed him, Harry looked at him “ can we go home now, you are literally inviting everyone “

“it is Christmas” 

“Then you will help”

“ no last time I cooked i almost burned the house"

“ you are not leaving me alone"

“But Harry you love cooking"

“ my heart can’t take it" 

“You just told me your doctor said it is okay" 

And it went on and on and on

They were finally happy, they were having their Christmas for the first time together, and definitely not the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me you loved it cause I did . I lived writing this story and I hope you lovee reading it


	40. Chapter 40

Hi everyone, I wrote the sad ending but I didn’t like it. So I decided this story will have only one ending. A happy one. Someone told me the world was sad enough and this story I believe deserve a happy one. I hope you respect my decision and I am so sorry if I let anyone down  
Love you all  
Treat people with kindness like Harry told us.

**Author's Note:**

> Now how is this as a start!! I am so excited


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